Chapter 8 #2
I search his face for a clue, a hint that the beard has to do with the breakup, but his face remains carefully blank. Almost like he’s trying not to show any emotion.
“I really like it,” Bella says. “It’s giving John Krasinski after he left The Office.”
“Oh, are you talking to Liam now?” Jonah teases.
She punches his arm. “Shut up, asshole! That was nine years ago. And I have a boyfriend, remember?” she says, just as said boyfriend, Chris, walks over, two Starbucks cups in hand.
She takes her coffee and gives him a kiss on the cheek, and I swear he blushes.
Even though they’ve been together for years now, I still don’t know Chris very well, other than he’s also in med school and they just moved in together, but he seems to have it bad for my sister, so I’ve decided I like him.
My siblings go back and forth, telling Liam how good he looks, how long it’s been, how much they’ve been looking forward to seeing him; meanwhile I stand to the side feeling more and more like I’ve just been picked last for dodgeball.
I’ve never been terribly close with either of my siblings.
I used to think it was because of the age gaps—seven years between Bella and me and five between me and Jonah—but as I got older and the age gaps weren’t so jarring, it became apparent we were on different wavelengths, chasing entirely different futures.
Bella and Jonah wanted the life our grandparents planned for them. They wanted med school and prestigious jobs at prestigious hospitals, while I was a dropout who had far more in common with our free-spirited mother than either of them.
Then I started dating Liam, and finally we had something in common: We all loved him.
For my sister, Liam was the blueprint for the type of guy she someday wanted to be with, while for Jonah, he was the cool brother he never had.
Grammy and Gramps and Mom loved him, too, and for a while he felt like this singular unifying force in our lives.
But what was once the glue holding us together now feels like one more wall separating me from the rest of my family.
“Uncle Liam!” Jackson cries, breaking free from his dad to leap into Liam’s arms. His twin brother, Riley, follows suit, and they latch on to Liam like a pair of leeches.
“Hey! Wow, you’re both so big!” Liam cries, hugging them back.
“I’m bigger!” Riley yells. “Daddy weighed me!”
“I lost a tooth!” Jackson says back, not willing to be outdone.
The two brothers talk over each other, updating Liam on every conceivable thing that’s happened to them in the last few months while Liam patiently nods, offering an appropriately placed wow every few seconds.
Liam’s always been good with kids, something that used to make my ovaries do somersaults, but now, seeing him with Jackson and Riley, knowing he’ll never play with our children—that there won’t be any children—feels like another stab in the chest. Another emotional land mine I’m not ready for.
While Jackson and Riley tell Liam about the new bikes they just got and how they can’t wait to go on the waterslide with him, Henleigh hangs back, still clutching Ben’s hand like a life raft.
“Hen, why don’t you say hi to Auntie Roslyn?” Ben suggests.
I bend down to her level, expecting a hug from my usually friendly niece, but she shakes her head and hides behind Ben’s legs.
Ben shoots me an apologetic look. “Sorry, she’s been shy lately, especially around people she doesn’t know well.”
My whole body flinches. I know I’ve missed a lot of family gatherings lately, but surely Henleigh doesn’t think of me as a stranger?
“It’s fine!” I say, a little too chipper. “I’m sure she’ll warm up to me soon.”
Ben’s mouth wavers into a rueful smile as the twins start to climb Liam like a tree.
“All right, boys, let’s give Uncle Liam some space,” Jonah says, pulling the boys off Liam. “You can tell him all about your new bikes later, okay?”
They whine and complain just as my grandparents appear.
They are both dressed up—he in a sport coat and khakis and she in block heels and an Hermès scarf—like the year is 1967 and they’re flying Pan Am.
As soon as Grammy spots Liam, her whole face lights up.
“Liam!” She looks at him like she imagines cartoon animals help him dress in the morning. “My, my, you just get more handsome every time I see you!” She turns to me. “Doesn’t he just get more handsome, Roslyn?”
I crinkle my nose. “He sure does.”
Liam squeezes Grammy back. “And you get ever more lovely. Is that a new brooch?” he asks, pointing to the jewel-encrusted ladybug on the lapel of her light jacket.
Grammy blushes and pats his cheek. “You’re such a dear.”
Gramps steps in to shake Liam’s hand like they’re business colleagues. “Liam, good to see you.”
“Likewise, sir.”
Gramps grips his shoulder, getting as close to a smile as I think is possible for him.
They chat about hospital politics and Liam’s latest research publication—the one everyone was thrilled about—until Jonah claps his hands together, summoning everyone’s attention.
“All right, so before we board our flight, I figured now would be a good time to hand out these,” Jonah says, shoving pieces of paper into our hands.
“What’s this?” I ask, frowning at the laminated page of single-spaced, size eight font.
“Itineraries,” he says. “I emailed them to everyone, but I figured hard copies were good too.”
At the top of the page, Larsen Family Vacation is printed in an aggressive font. Below that, Jonah has outlined in painful detail how we’ll spend every second of every day including a dress code and moment-by-moment activities.
I scan the list of activities. Snorkeling. Hiking. Polynesian Cultural Center. Kayaking. Luau. Sunrise yoga.
I wince at the last item. There’s no way I’m getting up for that.
My brother is such a firstborn and absolutely nothing like our mom, who would have been content to see where the wind takes us.
Though perhaps a chaotic childhood made up entirely of seeing where the wind took us and never staying in a single place more than a year is exactly why my brother finds solace in order and schedules in adulthood.
“So? What do you think?” Jonah asks excitedly.
Bella raises her hand. “When do we get shit-faced on all-inclusive mai tais?”
Jonah’s mouth collects into a frown. “This is meant to be an educational, culturally enriching family vacation, Bella. Not spring break in Cancún.”
“And which do you think will be more culturally enriching? mai tais? Or pina coladas?”
He glares at her, but she just rolls her eyes.
“Lighten up, Mr. Drill Sergeant. This trip is supposed to be fun and relaxing.”
I swallow hard, knowing full well that relaxing is the last thing this trip is going to be.