Chapter 17 Zandra
SEVENTEEN
Zandra
I woke to a warm lump trying to smother me.
“Chloe,” I tried to say, though of course the word came out muffled. When I attempted to move, Chloe meowed indignantly about being disturbed from her beauty sleep. “Get off me, you menace.”
She shifted and I sat up, greeting the same view I’d faced every morning for the last couple of weeks. The tiny guestroom in my auntie Rosie’s house, with sunlight streaming through the gingham curtains and a bed narrow enough to make me feel like I was back in my college dorm.
Then everything about last night rushed back to me. Proof that nothing was the same, because I had done something unforgivably stupid.
I’d kissed Callum.
I had pushed Callum onto the couch and practically mauled his face.
“Oh geez. Why did I do that?”
Well, perhaps the answer to that was obvious. I’d wanted him. Callum had been so sweet and sexy and lickable last night that I’d lost all reason.
My body heated and my heart raced as my mind replayed the memory. In the past, I would have expected Callum to be pushy and careless with a woman, rushing through the kisses and caresses in the hopes of just getting off.
But he hadn’t been that way at all.
He’d kissed me like he wanted to memorize my taste. Like if my kiss was the entire meal and nothing more was on the menu, he would’ve been completely satisfied. I’d felt his erection, of course, but he hadn’t seemed to be in any hurry.
If anything, I was the one who’d been pushy.
His touch had been firm but deliberate, holding me close. The way his tongue had teased my mouth, and his lips had nibbled mine…
“Why did it have to be so good, Chloe?”
She jumped down from the bed and trotted toward the door, clearly ready for breakfast. I was about to kick off the covers and follow when I realized I was still wearing Callum’s clothes.
I smoothed my hands down the cotton of the T-shirt, then fingered the thin athletic fabric of the shorts.
Oh, this was so bad.
I jumped up, quickly getting undressed.
At least the gnomes from Rosie’s collection on the nearby shelf were all turned around to face the wall. I couldn’t take those ceramic eyes staring at me, which was why I’d repositioned them my second day here.
Which reminded me of the gnome dressed like a football player that I’d given him. How genuinely happy he’d been about that silly gift. Like it really mattered to him.
I was so confused.
Callum was a man I’d hated for most of my life. Of course, I didn’t hate him now. I liked him way too much. I’d had an amazing time with him last night. Better than any date I’d been on before, and it hadn’t been a date at all.
But that didn’t change the fact that this was the worst possible idea. I couldn’t fool around with Callum O’Neal. Certainly couldn’t have feelings for him.
The only solution was denial. I just had to pretend last night never happened. As I’d said to Callum just as I’d leaped from his truck like a spy escaping an enemy airplane. Never mention this.
He would do as I asked, right?
Ugh, I was screwed.
After throwing on a different T-shirt and my own pair of shorts, I ventured out of my room with Chloe leading the way.
Breakfast was a quick affair. I was still full from the pot pie and brownie sundae, so I just had a piece of gluten-free toast smeared with apricot jam.
Rosie and Jimmy’s voices carried from the main bedroom, but they didn’t emerge, and I was grateful. Didn’t want them asking about what Callum and I did last night. What if I slipped up and told the truth?
We cooked one of the best meals I’ve ever had, snuggled up on the couch, then I crawled all over him and tried to eat his face. Why? What did you do?
Rosie would’ve loved hearing those details. Then probably would share too many details of her sex life. And then I’d be scarred forever.
“Sorry, Coco,” I said quietly. “I’m getting out of here. You’re on your own.” Not that she cared after I’d set out her food and topped up her water. Besides, she adored Jimmy.
I was quick with my morning routine in the bathroom. No need for another shower since I’d had one last night at Callum’s place. Along with using his body spray, which I could still smell on me, and it smelled so yummy. Gah.
As I dressed in work clothes for the day, I told myself not to think about how ridiculously attractive Callum had looked in those sinfully snug sweatpants.
I started moving faster, like that would somehow help me outrun the images in my brain.
Or the remembered sensation of Callum’s thick erection when I’d bumped against it. His lips. His tongue. His hands.
But after I grabbed my purse and keys and ran out the front door, I stopped in my tracks.
Callum sat on the porch steps, wearing his ripped jeans and an SRFD shirt.
He glanced up and grinned. “Hi. Brought you a pistachio latte.” Standing up, he held two paper coffee cups in his hands and extended one toward me.
“Thanks,” I said carefully, taking the drink. Because there was no way I was turning it down. Pistachio milk was a glorious invention. “I’ll get the coffees next time.”
“No worries. How’d you sleep?” he asked. As if it was perfectly normal for him to show up at Rosie’s and make small talk at eight in the morning.
“Um, okay. What are you doing here? Aside from delivering coffee, apparently.”
“Just wanted to see you. Figured I’d walk you into work.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to.” Callum’s smile was softer at the edges than usual. Knowing.
Like he was thinking about the kiss.
A cascade of flutters erupted in my stomach.
“Alright.” It wasn’t a very long walk to Hearthstone. Rosie’s house was practically on his route anyway. This didn’t have to be weird.
Except for the fact that he would’ve driven to Main Street, gone to Silver Linings, and then backtracked to walk here and meet me.
Oh, and the part where you kissed him last night. And then ran away.
But I was not acknowledging that.
“Also, I thought we should talk about last night,” Callum said.
Dammit. “No, thanks.”
“I realize you told me not to mention it. But what was that intelligent phrase we used to say on the playground? Ah, right. You’re not the boss of me. Yet, anyway.”
Ha. If he wanted to be cute about this, I could too. “What did you want to talk about? The brownies?”
His smile grew as he sipped his coffee. “I was thinking more about the part that happened after.”
“Can’t recall. Oh, the movie?”
“Play it that way if you want, Z, but we’re going to talk about it eventually. I’ll wear you down.”
“Stop calling me Z.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “It’s way too late for you to object. I’ve been calling you Z for weeks.”
I decided the silent treatment was in order, because he was infuriating. And also correct. Him calling me Z wasn’t such a big deal, but it was a symptom of my larger problem. Clearly I hadn’t been thinking straight around him for a long while now.
We turned onto Main Street. Callum seemed to know half the people we passed and said hello, slapping backs and shaking hands like a future politician. I sipped my latte.
But we were only halfway down the block when he said, “You’re seriously going to pretend that kiss didn’t happen?”
“What kiss?” I was all-in on this denial thing. I smiled and nodded at someone walking by with a Jack Russell on a leash.
“Our epic, hot-as-fuck make-out session—”
“Lower your voice,” I hissed.
“Which definitely happened. Ring any bells?”
“Nope.”
Callum glanced over at me, his cheerful expression hardening.
Then he tugged me into a narrow gap between two brick buildings. “I’m going to make you talk.”
“You can’t.”
“I’ve proven before that I can.” He took the coffee cup from my hand, setting it and his own on the concrete.
“Hey! I was drinking that.”
“You can finish it later. After you admit the fact that you kissed me.” The smirk made a reappearance as he blocked my way out, one arm reaching to brace against the wall. “And you liked it.”
I sputtered, backed up against the brick wall. Both a real one and a metaphorical one.
“Zandra, you kissed me. You practically crawled on top of me, forced me back on the couch, and had your way with me.”
I glanced to the side, mortified at the idea of someone walking by and overhearing this. Which anyone could at any moment. “Fine. I kissed you, okay?”
He leaned closer, placing both hands against the brick on either side of me. “And you liked it.”
“Good lord. You’re incorrigible.”
“Nothing else has to happen between us. Unless you want it. But I just need to hear you admit you liked kissing me.”
“What is wrong with you?”
“Just need to hear you say it. Callum, I liked…”
“We are not doing this.” I slipped under his arm, escaping the narrow space between the buildings.
And then I ran for Hearthstone. Like the coward that I was.
Work was normal. The cooks moved around the kitchen, Russ did brewing things. Customers ate. Or so I assumed. It was impossible for me to concentrate.
Instead, I paced around in Grandpa’s office.
This wasn’t me. I didn’t flip out this way, especially not about a guy. When Ian had first asked me to dinner after our Business Analytics class, I’d actually drafted a pro-and-con list before accepting.
For most of my life, I’d been steady and responsible. With a sassy attitude, sure. Did I get testy at times with people who disrespected me? Yes. Like any strong, opinionated woman, I’d been called difficult. I owned it.
But nobody, no one, had ever turned me inside out and upside down like Callum O’Neal.
I managed to get some work done. By late afternoon, it was time to head home. Callum had been behind the bar all day, so thankfully I’d hardly seen him at all.
Opening the office door, I peeked out. Chef Alice gave me an odd look as she wandered by. “Are you okay, Zandra?”
“Yep. I’m peachy.” Closing up the office behind me, I walked toward the back door. I would slip out and walk home to Rosie’s.
“Z,” an all-too-familiar voice said behind me.
My eyes closed as I sighed. “Callum.”