Chapter Ten
The morning of the community yoga class, Charlie was a nervous wreck.
A total and completely uncharacteristic wreck.
It seemed ridiculous. She’d made hundreds of million-dollar deals in her career and even a handful of billion-dollar deals.
Yet the thought of teaching a yoga class—even teaching one-sixth of the yoga class—felt incredibly daunting.
She loved yoga and was finding that all the extra classes she had to take as a part of the curriculum were really having a positive effect on both her physical and mental health.
She wanted to be able to share that appreciation with other people, yet the thought of doing something so unlike anything she’d ever done in her life was fucking terrifying.
She was going to do it no matter what, but she wanted to be good at it. Not just meh, which was what she was afraid of. Some of her classmates were afraid they would forget the sequence they were teaching and completely freeze up, but that wasn’t what she feared. She feared mediocrity.
So she was sitting at the small table on the little landing, having a cup of tea and trying to meditate on being a fantastic teacher for her portion of the class and visualizing every step of it when Harper’s door opened, and the scrambling of Franky’s nails on the boards made her eyes pop open.
“Hey, girl,” she said as she leaned over to scratch her neck.
“You looked pretty serious over there,” Harper said.
“Just visualizing how class is going to go this afternoon to make sure I nail it.” Her voice sounded a lot more confident than she felt, but that was from a lifetime of training.
As the only woman on her trading floor when she’d first started working a couple of decades ago, following the old adage, “fake it till you make it” was how she’d made it.
She played a lot tougher and more confident than she was until she actually was both of those things.
“Nice. So you’re ready for the big day?”
“I am. I think. No, scratch that. I am.” She smiled at Harper to reinforce her corrected self-talk.
“You’re still planning to come, right?” Charlie finally looked up from Franky.
Harper was dressed more casually than normal in a pair of gray gym shorts, an orange T-shirt with UVA School of Law on the front, and brown leather flip-flops.
She was apparently one of those people who looked good in every damn thing they threw on.
“Yes, I’m still coming. Even though I am not convinced at all that I’m going to enjoy it. Do you want to walk over there together, and maybe grab ice cream to celebrate your victory afterward?” Harper scratched her neck and didn’t make eye contact, which was strange.
“I have to be there an hour and a half early, as we’re going to do a little practice run and go through a few last-minute things before class.
But I’d definitely be down for ice cream afterward if you’re still up for it.
And we can walk back together?” She wasn’t sure her tone made the walking back part a question.
It was the only thing that made sense, after all.
“Yeah, sure, that’d be great.”
“Perfect. And while I have you, something has been on my mind. I owe you either a drink or a dog walk in the unlikely event that you don’t enjoy class, but what if you love it? What will you owe me?”
Harper sucked her lower lip into her mouth. Her voice was an octave lower as she finally said, “Whatever you want.”
Charlie’s mouth went dry as desire had her pulse pounding in her ears. “I’m, uh, not sure. I haven’t really thought about it.”
“Maybe you should,” Harper said, her voice barely above a whisper. Franky broke the moment with a whine and a restless spin. Harper closed her eyes for a beat before she opened them and said, “I’d better get this poor girl her walk. I’ll see you later.”
Charlie’s voice sounded shaky as she said, “Count on it.” She tried to get back to her visualization once Harper and Franky were out of sight, but every time she closed her eyes, she started to imagine what Harper was going to look like in class.
Her visualization was grounded in real life since she’d seen her when she went for a run, but she hadn’t actually seen her up close, and her brain seemed to want to fill in the vivid details.
In her mind’s eye, Harper’s shoulders were defined from her years slinging cases of beer and liquor around. Her hair was in a bun rather than her standard ponytail to keep it out of her eyes in inversions. Those long fingers—
Stop.
Charlie blinked her eyes open to stop the barrage of images. This was not going to help her get ready to teach that afternoon.
To try to get herself together, she took a long bike ride around the island on one of her favorite routes and then attended a yoga class at a different studio. After she went home, she showered and grabbed a quick dinner, and it was time to head to the studio.
She was feeling more settled and grounded when Talia walked in and said, “How’s everyone feeling?”
“A nervous wreck,” Phoebe said.
Talia chuckled, which felt a little rude since Charlie was also a little nervous, but she said, “I’ve been doing this for more than three decades, and I’m still nervous every time I walk in to teach.
I know some teachers aren’t, but I don’t think a few nerves are necessarily a bad thing.
It shows you care. But you all are ready.
And most of the students tonight will be your friends and family or yogis who know this is your first time teaching.
This is a very low-risk class, so relax and have fun, okay? ”
Everyone nodded, including Charlie, and Talia said, “I find that if I need a little grounding, giving someone an assist always helps. Feel free to assist your friends and family as much as you want, but try to assist other people too. Share the love. It’s what today’s class is all about.
So why don’t you take a little time and pair off to work on anything you want to run through one more time, and then, it’ll be time to get the studio ready. ”
Charlie looked around the nearly empty room and envisioned it full of people and focused on feeling calm and centered.
“Do you want to pair off?” Charlie turned her head at the voice and realized it was Phoebe talking to her.
“Sure,” she said. “Can you believe in less than an hour, this room is going to be full of people waiting for us to guide them through their practice? It’s wild, right?”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m so freaked out about it.” Phoebe pulled out her ponytail holder, shook out her sandy brown hair, and pulled it up into a bun instead. “How many people do you have coming?”
Feeling like a friendless loser, Charlie said, “Just one.”
“That was good thinking. I wish I hadn’t invited anyone.
Or had just invited one friend. Instead, my parents, my two brothers, my best friend, and my girlfriend are all coming.
” Charlie was happy to hear that her gaydar, while out of practice, was still working as she’d pegged Phoebe as queer.
“Who’d you invite?” She spoke fast as she shook out her hair again and pulled it in a ponytail this time. Apparently, a nervous movement.
How did she explain Harper? “Oh, just my friend. Well, more of a landlord who is becoming a kind of friend.”
“Oh?” Phoebe raised an eyebrow.
“No, nothing to say ‘oh’ about.” That was true, for the most part. Harper gave off a lot of mixed signals, and Charlie didn’t know what was going on with her, but ultimately, she had enough shit going on in her own life. She didn’t need anything else.
“I see. Do you want to practice a bit?”
“Why don’t you go first?” Charlie said.
Phoebe’s smile grew. “Thanks, I’d appreciate another run-through of my part.”
By the time the students started to roll in, Charlie was ready. She was pretty sure she could thank her previous life for her ability to deal with the stress of anything as the moment grew closer. She became more focused, more driven, more ready.
That was, until Harper walked in, and their eyes connected.
She looked delicious in exactly what Charlie had suggested she wear: her capri-length gray leggings; a tight, white, racer back tank top; and a neon pink sports bra that showed from under the tank.
Charlie second-guessed inviting her and following up with her about it.
Hell, she kind of regretted meeting Harper at that point because her entire mind went blank, and she couldn’t remember her own name, much less what she was supposed to do to get her checked in for class.
Thankfully, Phoebe greeted Harper, who turned, breaking the intense eye contact they’d been locked in.
It was like a switch flipped, and Charlie’s brain reengaged.
“Hey, Harper, glad you could make it.” She forced a smile and tried not to panic that she was going to forget her entire portion of the class.
Phoebe slid a waiver across the counter. “Oh, you two know each other. Nice. Well, I’m Phoebe, and welcome to Anahata Studio.”
“Nice to meet you.” Harper turned to Charlie. “And of course I made it. I’d never say I was going to come and not show. I always keep my promises. Even if I’m reluctant to do so.” It was almost her bartender smile but felt a little warmer than the one she gave to strangers.
“I’m glad to hear it. I think you’re really going to enjoy class,” Charlie said.
“We’ll see. What did we decide on again if I don’t like it despite all your guarantees?”
“I think I’m going to watch Franky, but I’ve been doing that anyway for my own enjoyment, so that isn’t much of a bet anymore, is it?”
“Probably not. How about, if I hate it, you have to buy ice cream later?”
“No, that is my congratulations and celebratory ice cream for teaching my first class. Or fraction thereof, anyway. You can’t renege on that.” Charlie looked to the ceiling as she contemplated. “I don’t know. We’ll have to think on it.”
Harper bit her lip as she looked at her. “I’m sure I can think of something.”