11. Asher
11
ASHER
Coralie was upset. She was quiet through the rest of our meeting with Hudson. She was quiet while Shelby told us where we were going next. And she kept quiet as she walked next to me across the parking lot and stood in front of my truck.
I wanted to ask her what was wrong. I’d agreed with everything she said in the bakery. She wanted an eggless cake, I’d agreed to it. She wanted strawberry coulis, I’d asked for a smaller cake just for me. I was doing the things that a fiancé should do, so why wasn’t she happy?
I was only doing all of this to make the people around me happy. I didn’t want to fail.
She was waiting by the passenger door as I came around the truck to open it. She didn’t meet my gaze as I held the door open and waited for her to climb in. I made sure all her limbs were inside the cab before I shut the door and jogged around the bed of the truck.
Shelby and Ella were walking out of the bakery, and my gaze met Ella’s. She held it for a moment, her expression unreadable. The memory of her snort in the bakery pierced my mind. She was disappointed in me. I could tell that much. But I was trying so hard not to care. I wasn’t hers, and she wasn’t mine. I was Coralie’s, and Coralie actually wanted me.
I forced a smile and waved as I pulled open the driver’s door. Both Ella and Shelby returned the wave. “See you at Blooming Beauty,” I called out, and Shelby shot me a thumbs-ups.
I climbed into the truck and started the engine. Coralie was quiet as I pulled out of the parking spot and headed to the main road.
“Everything okay?” I asked as I turned on my blinker and waited for a white minivan to pass before I pulled out.
“Yeah,” she said in the least convincing tone ever.
I glanced over at her before I returned my attention to the road. “Really? Coralie, what’s wrong?”
From the corner of my eye I could see her fold her arms across her chest and sigh. I waited for her to speak, but she was taking her sweet time doing it.
“I just don’t understand why Ella has to be a part of this.”
I paused, not expecting her to say that at all. I thought she’d been disappointed with me. The idea of her not liking Ella? That left a sour taste in my mouth.
“She’s writing an article about the wedding,” I said as I rested my wrist on the steering wheel and tried to relax back against my seat. I didn’t want Coralie to know I was uncomfortable with her talking about Ella like this.
“She just…” Her voice drifted off, so I peeked over at her to see if she was going to continue. “She laughed at me, Asher.” Her gaze was on me now. “And you didn’t say anything.”
“She didn’t laugh at you. She thought you were joking.” I met her gaze, and from her wide eyes and dropped jaw, I knew I’d said the wrong thing. “I am allergic to strawberries, so it felt like a joke for Ella.”
Nope. That justification didn’t help me. If anything, it just made Coralie’s eyes widen even more.
“If she’s a reporter, she shouldn’t be laughing even if it was just a joke .” Her eyes narrowed. “She should be quiet, take pictures, and write down what we’re doing, that’s all.” She brought her feet up to rest on the dash. “I’ve been around enough reporters to know the etiquette. Interjecting yourself is not what a good reporter does.” She scoffed as she stared out the window. “Just shows that she’s not a very good one.”
My grip tightened on the steering wheel as frustration built up inside of me. I knew that Coralie was upset, but taking her anger out on Ella wasn’t going to fly with me. I also knew that if I let my first instinct take over and jumped to defend Ella, Coralie would wonder why. And the last thing I wanted to do was tell her about our past.
“I sure she didn’t mean anything by it,” I said, as I turned to give Coralie a smile, hoping it would help her see that she might be reading into this more than was necessary.
Coralie glanced over at me. She held my gaze for a second and then sighed. “You’re probably right. I mean, she’s just a reporter, right?”
I could feel Coralie’s stress start to lessen, but I knew I couldn’t just let the conversation end there. She needed to know that I’d asked Ella to be my best man, now, or she was going to feel like I’d betrayed her. When I’d first asked Ella, I didn’t think it was a big deal. Now, after hearing how Coralie felt about her, I realized that it had been a big mistake.
A big, big mistake.
The easiest solution to all of this was to just to tell Ella that she couldn’t be my best man. But for some reason, that was the last thing I wanted to do. Ella had seemed so excited, and I didn’t want to crush her. Maybe Coralie would understand. I doubted it, but I was going to hope.
“Actually,” I started slowly.
Coralie glanced over at me. “What?”
I paused. “I asked her to be my best man.”
Silence. Thick, heavy, palpable silence filled the cab of the truck, and I realized that I’d gotten my answer. Coralie did not understand. And I could tell from the way she was staring at me, that even thinking she would understand why I would ask Ella to be my best man had been ridiculous.
“Asher…I…”
I kept my gaze on the road, too scared to turn and see her facial expression.
“Why would you ask her to be your best man?”
Because I was a glutton for punishment. Because I was desperate to pretend that my relationship with my best friend wasn’t broken. That I wasn’t the one who broke it. It seemed at every turn I was making the wrong move. Over and over again.
“She’s my best friend,” I said, my voice low. I decided honesty was going to be the best policy when it came to Coralie and Ella. “She offered and I accepted.” I glanced over at her. “I didn’t think that you would have a problem with it.” I offered her a soft smile, hoping that would dispel her frustration.
Coralie eyed me before she sighed and turned her attention to the road in front of us. “You were wrong. I have a problem with it. I don’t want her to be your best man.” She tapped her fingers on her knees, which she had drawn to her chest. “She can’t be your best friend anymore.” Her left hand found my right as she slid her fingers in between mine. “I am your best friend now.”
What she was saying was true. With a fiancée who was going to be my wife in a week, I shouldn’t have other female best friends. Coralie should be my one and only focus. Ella had turned me down in the romance department. And I was beginning to realize that if I kept trying to fix our relationship, there was a real possibility it could destroy my marriage with Coralie in the process. My relationship with Ella no longer mattered, even if that thought made my heart feel like it was dying.
“But you can’t be my best man and my fiancée at the same time.” I smiled at her as I came to a stop at a red light.
“Right, but it’s not like you don’t have any guy friends to ask.” She leaned in and pouted her bottom lip.
I studied her. I didn’t want to just tell her that I would pull back my acceptance of Ella’s offer. But what other choice did I have? If I fought Coralie on this, she’d wonder why. This wedding was supposed to make everybody happy. I was determined to fulfill my end of the bargain.
“Okay,” I said softly.
“Okay?” She sounded surprised as she pulled back and blinked a few times. “You’ll find someone else?”
I lifted the back of her hand and pressed my lips to it. “I’ll find someone else.”
She dropped my hand so she could cradle my face on either side. Her lips found mine, and she held them there. When she pulled back, a huge smile spread across her face. “Thank you, Asher.” She leaned in and kissed me again.
“Of course,” I said when she finally dropped her hands and settled back into her seat.
The light shifted to green, so I pressed on the gas. We drove in silence for a minute before Coralie leaned forward and flipped on the radio. Music filled the cab, granting me the peace to sit and think about what Coralie had asked me to do.
I didn’t want to tell Ella that she couldn’t be my best man. I didn’t want to break her heart. I knew she’d put on a brave face and accept my decision, but it would crush her. And I didn’t want to hurt Ella more than I already had.
I had been the one to change our relationship. I had been the one to confess my feelings, even though I knew she didn’t feel the same. I was the asshole who kept making promises and then taking them back. Ella deserved a better guy friend. I was a failure.
I decided to just stop thinking before I drifted slowly into insanity. I was going to drive to the florist with my eyes forward, listening to Coralie sing the wrong words to the song currently blaring on the radio. I wasn’t going to think of Ella or how exactly I was going to address the best man situation.
Once I’d preplanned what I was going to say, then I’d meet up with her to tell her. I’d gone off script so much in our relationship, and I was determined not to make that mistake again. I was already living through the aftermath of my first off-the-cuff decision when it came to Ella. I wasn’t in a hurry to experience another one.
Shelby and Ella were already at Blooming Beauty when we pulled up. They were getting out of the car as we parked in the spot next to them. I turned off the engine while Coralie opened her door. She’d made her way to my side by the time I got out of my truck and shut the driver’s door.
Her hand found mine, and she squeezed tightly. Her other hand found my elbow as we walked across the parking lot to the front door, where Shelby and Ella were standing.
I could feel Ella’s gaze on me, but I decided to ignore it. I just stared straight ahead while we waited for the florist to finish with a customer.
Ella tried to make small talk with Coralie, but she just brushed her off by stepping up to Shelby and commenting on the color of the daises in the glass cooler near the door. While they talked, Ella turned her attention to me. I hated that she was trying to find a friend in me when I couldn’t be that guy for her anymore.
I was engaged, and my fiancée didn’t want me around Ella. I couldn’t be the guy who stood around pining for Ella anymore. I needed to draw a line in the sand, and I was going to have to do it now. Before Ella caused my resolve to fly out the window.
“Ready to pick out flowers?” Ella asked as she offered me a soft smile.
“Yeah,” I said, focusing my attention forward.
“Asher, will you join us?” Coralie called from across the room.
“Yep,” I said as I flicked my gaze over to Ella. “Sorry, duty calls.”
And then I did the hardest thing I’d ever done in my relationship with Ella. I gave her a curt nod and left her standing there, staring at my retreating frame.