Chapter 23
23
Esther
E sther crashed, back first, against the front door of Ashley’s parents’ house—Ashley’s chest pinning her to the cool wood, her blond waves blocking out the rest of the world. Distantly, Esther registered that they were still kissing, as Ashley scraped at the lock with her key.
Ashley was kissing her, and it was better than any other kiss.
Because this time, Esther knew she wasn’t just being a good friend or admiring another girl’s outfit or hair or body. Esther was kissing Ashley because she wanted to kiss Ashley. And as Ashley’s hand found the side cutout in Esther’s dress and worked her leg between Esther’s thighs, a few other ideas popped into Esther’s mind.
The door flew open, and they both fell into the house.
“Sorry, sorry.” Ashley caught her balance on the catch-all table by the door with one hand and Esther’s waist with the other. “I always hated that lock. Tends to stick.”
Now that they were separated and breathing again, Esther realized where the night was headed. They’d shared a bed all week, but until now, that was all.
Ashley must have seen her concern because she cupped Esther’s cheek.
“Hey. What’s going on?” Her eyes traced back and forth between Esther’s, and her brows pinched together. “Listen, nothing has to happen tonight. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do. If you’re not comfortable, we can just leave this where it is. I can even take the couch if…you know. If things are weird now.”
Her phone buzzed, and she stepped back to glance at an incoming text.
It also gave Esther some space. A moment to take in what was happening and what she wanted to happen without the fuzzying effect of Ashley’s nearness. Something had happened at that bar. Maybe it was singing on a stage in front of dozens of strangers. Maybe it was seeing Ashley come out in all her glowing bravery, but Esther wanted to be brave too.
And she wanted it all. No more hiding from herself, no more keeping her distance. Ashley was strong and indestructible, and she wanted Esther just as much as Esther wanted her.
“Okay. That was my parents wishing us a happy New Year. They decided to take up the Millers’ offered guest room and go heavy on the champagne tonight, so it sounds like they won’t be back until morning. Mom promises they’ll be back in time to see us off.”
Her voice was calm, but Esther knew Ashley had to realize what that meant. They had the house to themselves, and Esther had just kissed Ashley.
“Look.” Ashley remained by the door, her hands grabbing the entry table behind her. “I understand that the power dynamics are off here. You’re at my childhood home in a state you’ve never been to, and I happen to be a creature of the night. So, I’m going to be proactive and say I don’t expect anything beyond our originally agreed upon terms of fake dating. I will default to sleeping in Oma’s old room when the sun comes up like I should have been doing this whole week.”
“Ashley.” Esther took Ashley’s hand, stopping her rambling before she ended up offering to chain herself in a closet or something. “I like you.”
“You like me.” Ashley said it like a statement, but her furrowed brows said she still wasn’t sure what Esther meant.
She needed to be more explicit.
“I like you.” Esther continued, stepping closer so she had to tilt her head up to look Ashley in the eye. “And not as a fake girlfriend or a classmate or even just as a friend.”
She ran her thumb along Ashley’s knuckles, trying to coax her into relaxing her other hand from the table, to let go.
“I like you because you’re funny, and you’re sweet, and you’re sexy as hell. I like you because you notice things like a difference in power dynamics, but also that you come from a touchy family that enjoys hugs.” Esther bit her lip. She was losing momentum and getting embarrassed by all of her declarations, but she needed to finish if she wanted this night to go as hoped. “I know at one point you seemed interested, and maybe now I’m coming off strong, but if you’re still interested, I’d like to get rid of the fake part of our relationship.”
“Yes, please.” Ashley pulled their joined hands behind her back, pressing them snugly chest to chest, and tangled her other hand in Esther’s hair. “Tell me what you want. Because I’ll go as far as you’ll let me.”
A laugh escaped her at Ashley’s eager answer.
“I haven’t…umm been with a woman before,” Esther said. “So, I was kind of hoping you could take the lead maybe.”
“Damn it, Esther.” Ashley looked up at the ceiling, and Esther worried she’d said something wrong. “You make the sweetest speech and dump all this trust on me. You’re going to make me cry, and I really don’t want to cry right now.”
“Did you need me to sing some more of ‘Auld Lang Syne’?” Esther joked. “Bring the mood back.”
“Fuck that.”
Before Esther fully processed the novelty of Ashley cussing, they were in her bedroom, standing at the foot of her bed, and Esther had an overwhelming sense of having moved without seeing it. Like being in a high-speed elevator. There was a click, and Ashley was near a Bluetooth speaker. A simple trilling piano filled the room, accompanied by a deep crackling baseline. The contradicting sounds were confusing but wildly sexy.
“Did you have this ready?” Esther asked.
Ashley walked to her. No, not walked. Sashayed? Maybe prowled. Yes, prowled was right. Her creature of the night comment was suddenly wildly appropriate. Ashley was beyond human. The glitter lava lamp on the nightstand cast pink undertones across Ashley’s cheek and neck, her toned arms. And on the other side of her, the moonlight peeking through the open window played off the sequins of her dress, shimmering and highlighting her curves and the muscles of her thighs.
She was a sparkling, pink creature of the night.
Esther’s knees threatened to fail her as this goddess drew near.
Ashley lifted a hand, brushing a lock of hair behind Esther’s ear and running a nail along Esther’s jawline until it tucked under her chin, lifting it to Ashley’s face. “If you tell me ‘stop,’ I will stop. Immediately. Is that understood?”
Esther swallowed. “Y-yes.”
The corner of Ashley’s mouth curved wickedly. “I don’t have any of my toys with me. Obviously, I don’t keep those at my parents’ house. But since this is your first time in a sense, we can keep things simple.”
Toys? Esther was sweating. She was both frightened and horny.
And also thinking about what might happen when they got back to New York. What kind of toys? Maybe she should have done more research before initiating.
Ashley’s fingers traced lightly down Esther’s shoulders, the cool touch bringing Esther’s racing mind back to the moment as they reached her waist. She couldn’t help a gasp when Ashley’s fingers touched skin.
“This dress.” Ashley’s words were a purr as she gripped Esther’s hips and turned her to face the bed. “It’s been driving me crazy all night. Long sleeves and a short skirt. You are full of contradictions, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
Esther wasn’t sure how to respond. She wasn’t sure she could respond. Her heart beat a million miles a minute, and she forgot how to breathe as Ashley’s icy fingers continued to wander across her stomach and hips. Craving Ashley’s touch and scared that if she moved…if she moved, maybe she would wake up and this would all be a dream.
So, she held perfectly still and waited.
“Choices. Choices.” Ashley was still inspecting Esther’s curves with her hands, feeding Esther’s growing desire for contact and fanning a flame for more. “I love these heels on you. Are you attached to these tights?”
The two thoughts didn’t connect. Esther shook her head. She wasn’t attached to anything except Ashley. Ashley and her hands that were all over.
She pushed Esther’s hair to one side, wrapped it around her fist, and gently dragged Esther’s head and then shoulders backward until Ashley’s other arm around her waist was the only thing keeping Esther upright.
“I’m going to need verbal confirmation.” The tone left no room for questions.
Oh, sweet Jesus. Ashley was bossy in bed. And they weren’t even in bed yet. Esther’s thighs heated. She was wet, and they were both still fully dressed. “N-no. I’m not attached.”
“Is this all right so far? What I’ve been doing to you.” For a moment, Ashley’s eyes softened. “You remember what to say if it’s too much?”
“Yes,” Esther answered faster this time, glad she finally stopped her stuttering. “This is good—so good. And I remember.”
Ashley smiled, baring her teeth, before kissing gently down Esther’s exposed neck. She released Esther’s hair and turned her to the bed again. “Good girl.”
She put her hand on Esther’s upper back and gently guided her forward until her middle rested over the cool metal bed frame and her hands, then her elbows, sank into the deep fluffiness of Ashley’s bed. She felt the back of her dress rising to indecent levels—her heels doing no favors to hide anything. The idea alone of Ashley seeing her like this made her cheeks heat and her thighs clench.
“I think I’d like to eat you like this first,” Ashley said.
“Wait, you’ll what?” Esther squirmed, trying to look over her shoulder and fighting the bed for balance.
“Not literally.” Ashley laughed.
“I mean…I wasn’t complaining necessarily.”
“I’m not doing that again.” Ashley’s voice was firm now. “I want you to trust me. And I still don’t trust myself.” Her cool hands trailed from Esther’s waist down to her ankles, her sequined dress making a shushing sound as she moved, and Esther lost sight of her behind the bed. “I won’t do anything to hurt you. Understood?”
“Understood.” The word came out in a soft gasp as Ashley’s hands continued their way up her thighs, lifting the hem of her dress over her ass.
Esther squirmed. Her tights were efficient, not sexy. She wouldn’t have worn any, but it was so cold she couldn’t go bare-legged. She was chilly and self-conscious and completely out of control as the downy nothing of the bed consumed her arms. She was forced to rely on the metal bar under her hips and Ashley’s hands on her thighs for support, and the adrenaline of giving up so much control shot straight to her nethers.
Ashley slid Esther’s tights down to below her ass. There was a sound, more like a pop than a ripping. Arms braced like Bambi on ice, Esther looked down her chest between her legs to where the middle of her tights was split in two, essentially making them tattered thigh-high stockings.
Ashley stared back at her, eyes wide and lashes batting. “Are you still all right?”
She had wrecked Esther’s tights. The ugly tights that were blocking Ashley from getting in there and doing whatever she had planned.
“Very much so,” Esther said.
Ashley smiled, and it was the bright and beautiful smile she always had for Esther in class. The one that gave her warm, fuzzy feelings before she even knew what those feelings were and lit up the entire room. And then Ashley licked Esther’s exposed thigh, long and slow, still matching Esther’s gaze.
Esther would never see that smile the same way again. Ashley was the real contradiction. Her tongue went up, higher and higher until it reached Esther’s panty line then stopped and moved to the other leg. There was a sound like a whimpering puppy, and Esther was shocked to realize the sound had come from her.
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” Ashley teased, fully aware of what she was doing. “Did you want to show me your pretty pussy?”
Esther nodded, mesmerized by what was happening between her legs. Ashley pulled down the silky, black fabric and let Esther step out of them. Then, in one quick movement, she grabbed Esther’s ankles, pulling them wider than shoulder-width.
“God, your ass looks so good in this dress.” Ashley gave said ass a smack.
Esther gasped and grabbed the sheets more from shock than the sting.
Ashley grabbed her cheeks, holding her firmly in place. She licked her from clit, through her folds, and all the way back to the pucker of her ass. Esther clung to the bed sheets for dear life.
“That’s right, sweetheart.” Her thumb slid through Esther’s folds, picking up moisture before moving slow circles around her clit. “Let me take care of you.”
Syrupy goodness coated Esther’s inside, and she gave in, letting her body relax and allowing Ashley to take control. Ashley knew what she was doing. Her tongue set to work again, ministering long, luxurious glides across her seam, interspersed with feather-light flicks until Esther was writhing, grasping the blankets in her fists. She didn’t recognize the sounds coming from her. Anytime she made an especially loud cry, Ashley went back and did it again, her cold fingers trailing fire and building a tightness in Esther’s core that had her curling her toes until one heel and then the second lifted off the ground, her body begging for more. When she thought the pressure was too much, Ashley put her lips to Esther’s clit and sucked.
Fireworks, crystal-sharp snowflakes, a scream as long as time.
Esther’s body melted into a puddle, draped over the foot of the bed like a Salvador Dalí painting.
“That was beautiful.” Ashley was up again, kissing Esther’s neck, her back, her arms. “Do you have another in you? I got ahead of myself.”
Esther mumbled into the covers, not sure what she was saying. Ashley had wrecked her, and she was still fully dressed.
“You want me to help you undress?” Ashley asked.
Was that what she’d said? Esther nodded, her face still half-buried in the comforter. It didn’t matter what she’d said. She just wanted this dress off. She wanted to be free of clothes and melt like the proper puddle that she was.
Ashley’s cool fingers grazed her neck, searching for her zipper. It made a soft purr as the clasp trailed down her spine, then Ashley was helping Esther to her feet. Standing upright, Esther regained some of her senses. She couldn’t take this dress off yet. Ashley was still fully clothed.
“Wait, you first,” Esther said.
Ashley did that thing that was half laugh, half smile, and Esther’s heart did a little swoop.
“Same time?” Ashley was pulling up the hem of her dress to get to her pleather leggings.
Esther shrugged off her dress one shoulder at a time, trying to tease the moment, but her hands caught in the long sleeves. And of course, Ashley made removing leggings look like the easiest thing. Esther finally wriggled her hands free as Ashley pulled the sequin dress over her head, her gold hair cascading back in place around her shoulders.
“Jesus, are you kidding?” Esther said.
Ashley had the body of a Marvel superhero. The abs, the arms, wide hips leading to thick thighs, and a rack pointed straight at Esther. She knew Ashley had an impressive body, but she had no idea it was this impressive.
Ashley shrugged. “Did I mention I used to throw women around in my free time? The efforts start to show after a while.”
“Wait.” Esther shoved her own dress the rest of the way over her hips and down to the floor. “Do you still have moves? Could you throw me?”
She kicked her dress to the side and braced herself like she’d run and jump at Ashley. Funny that they were both naked together for the first time and Esther felt zero awkwardness. Ashley must have licked that out of her.
Ashley eyed her up and down. “Please. I could lift you before I even had vampire strength.”
She motioned for Esther to run at her, and that was when Esther realized how ridiculous they were being. She’d never cheered a day in her life, and Ashley was standing there in all her naked glory, making it look like running and jumping was the simplest thing in the world.
But it was too late to turn back now. A reckless voice in Esther’s head said she needed to see this through.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart.” Ashley smiled, arms raised and ready. “I’ve got you.”
She ran. Ashley’s hands met her hips, and Esther was weightless, and it was glorious. Not quite that orgasm from earlier, but she was still making comparisons. Just as she was savoring the novelty of seeing the world from a different angle and the feel of Ashley’s firm grip on her waist, she was sailing backward through the air, free-falling onto the bed.
Esther lay, flung—no, splayed—across Ashley’s bed in nothing but her ripped tights, which somehow made her feel more naked than if she simply had nothing on at all. There was this excited, bubbly feeling starting in her fingers and traveling up her arms. She could only describe it as restless peace. This was exactly where she wanted to be, here in this ridiculous bed with this silly, pink light and Ashley, so brave and strong and unapologetically herself—ready to fuck her to pieces again. She was so happy her body had growing pains making room for the influx of all this joy.
She looked up to find Ashley at the foot of the bed with a strange look in her eyes.
“Shit,” Ashley whispered, running a hand through her hair.
Esther’s heart raced at that word. Did Ashley regret this? Had Esther made a mistake? She stood on her knees and walk-crawled over to the end of the bed.
“Hey. Talk to me,” Esther said. “What’s going on?”
Water pooled at the corners of Ashley’s eyes, and Esther thought she might break watching it happen. Her arms enveloped Ashley in a flash. Like maybe some of Ashley’s speed had been transferred to her.
“It’s just starting to really sink in,” Ashley said.
Esther was never sure what to do in these situations. Not opening up meant she didn’t have much practice handling other people’s big feelings. But this was Ashley. She sank deeper into the embrace, wrapping her arms around Ashley’s waist, keeping her in place. She would be an anchor if nothing else.
“Seeing you here on my bed where I couldn’t have a girl before because then the whole school would hear about it and I’d lose everyone. All the fame and people I called friends. And then it’s not just any girl here. It’s you.”
Okay, Esther needed to see her face for this. “Would you like to snuggle under the covers for a bit and tell me about it?”
Ashley sniffed and nodded. They both slipped under the covers and molded together, their week of sharing a bed providing them with the knowledge of each other’s shape.
“I don’t know why I’m such a mess,” Ashley said, wiping the lingering tears from her eyes. “It’s not like this is my first time. It was just seeing you here, on this bed, in this room. I guess I’ve always been hiding a part of me. First, being gay all through high school, and now, being a vampire from my parents, and… it means so much that I have one person right here that I can be myself with.”
“Ashley,” Esther whispered, softly kissing away the lingering tears on her cheek, “I’m so sorry you had to hide yourself for so long to feel safe.”
“Well, I survived hiding through high school.” Ashley laughed, waving away Esther’s concern. “What’s another eternity of hiding a part of me?”
Esther wasn’t sure she liked this turn of the conversation. Ashley was a sun and shouldn’t be hiding, but being a vampire wasn’t Esther’s secret to tell. Not for the first time, Esther wondered how much Ashley had thought through the decision to change and whether it was the right choice for her.
She opened her mouth to say something, though she wasn’t sure what, when Ashley kissed her. Slow and sweetly nibbling at Esther’s lip until she opened for her and all other thoughts abandoned her.
“You’re so perfect, Esther.” Ashley rolled their joined bodies so she was on top, trailing her lips down Esther’s neck and shoulders. She gave a light nip on the top of Esther’s breast, and Esther let out a little gasp, her back arching.
“You like that, sweetheart?” Ashley asked sweetly before licking Esther’s nipple until it pebbled beneath her touch.
When her mouth continued to move down, Esther grabbed her wrist. “Wait.”
Ashley froze, and Esther recalled Ashley’s promise to stop whenever asked. She’d underestimated how serious Ashley’s promise was. “It’s my turn.”
“Turns aren’t a thing,” Ashley countered, despite letting Esther roll her onto her back. “I like tasting you.”
“Well, I’d like a try, if you don’t mind.”
“If you insist,” said Ashley with a sniff, which turned into a gasp when Esther licked the underside of Ashley’s breast.
“I insist.” Esther kissed down Ashley’s body, worshipping her with tongue and lips as she went. “Let me know if I’m doing it right.”
“Just do what you…enjoy.” Ashley’s voice trailed off as Esther licked across her seam, opening her with her tongue. Esther knew what she tasted like, but Ashley was sweeter.
She explored, learning Ashley’s body. First licking lightly near her entrance then gliding up to her clit listening when Ashley emitted a small gasp then going back to those spots for more until she felt Ashley growing tense, her thighs flexing under Esther’s hands. Esther felt a rush of power—a drive to unravel her. Light flicks turned to building pressure until she was sure Ashley was near ready, and then she sucked on her clit until Ashley cried out and convulsed beneath her.
Esther sat up and wiped her mouth, hiding her smile. She was toppled onto her back, Ashley pinning Esther’s arms over her head.
“You’re amazing.” Ashley’s hand slid between them and down Esther’s stomach, her other hand trailing behind Esther’s head. A finger tapped twice playfully at Esther’s clit, making her inhale sharply. “Tell me what you want, sweetheart.”
Words? What were words? She still had the taste of Ashley on her lips, her body soft and snug against her. She wanted to be enveloped, devoured, which was a dangerous request to make to a vampire.
“Please,” said Esther, pushing her hips up to Ashley’s palm.
“You want me in you, love?” Esther’s nod was interrupted by a gasp as Ashley slid one finger and then a second inside her, slowly easing in and out. “You want to let me watch you come again?”
Esther couldn’t speak. The pressure built inside her as Ashley increased the speed, rubbing herself on Esther’s leg as she curled her fingers, hitting that soft spot with each thrust.
“Ashley,” she ground out as her body convulsed, flexing around Ashley’s fingers.
Ashley’s lips met hers, swallowing Esther’s outcry. Devouring her like she wanted. She felt wholly herself and seen and no longer scared or embarrassed. She felt like a puzzle piece sliding into place.
Ashley collapsed on the bed beside her, smiling and laughing again. Esther reached for her, not sure what she intended but needing to touch her. To feel Ashley and know that she was real. She brushed Ashley’s hair from her face and ran her fingers along her cheek.
God, she loved this woman so much. If she were a cat, she’d be purring.
Wait. Love? It was much too fast for that. They’d only just decided they were dating for real. She couldn’t possibly be in love.
But Ashley was stroking Esther’s back, and the look in her eyes was earth-shattering.
Esther felt too good now to worry if her feelings were too big or too fast. A small part of her worried about loving a vampire, but with Ashley’s arms wrapped tight around her, she felt so safe and comfortable just living in the present. They fell into sleep the way she knew they could.
Like two perfect halves.