11. Nadia
11
NADIA
“And that’s it.” I’d finished listing all the repairs I needed completed on the house and took the first breath I’d been able to take since Callum arrived.
“How old is the house?” His head tilted back as he looked up and around.
“I think it was built a hundred and twenty years ago.”
“Have you had any issues with plumbing or?—”
“I already updated plumbing, electrical, and HVAC. I’m doing everything in phases. Those were phase one.”
His gaze returned to mine, and when our eyes met, the air between us crackled with tension. Neither of us said a word. The silence was somehow deafening and thick with emotion. There was so much I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the right words; I wasn’t even sure there were any.
I’d never been at a loss for words with Callum. From the first night we met on the pier, we had an instant connection. An immediate bond. We recognized each other; there was never any awkwardness.
After what felt like both an eternity and the blink of an eye, Callum cleared his throat and looked down at his clipboard. “Okay, for the interior I have refinish hardwood floors throughout, paint, in the kitchen you want to save the cabinets but paint them and replace the doors, hardware, faucet, and countertops. Replace treads on stairs. The primary en suite bathroom shower retiled and new vanity and fixtures in both the en suite and downstairs half bath. Exterior, fresh paint, roof and gutter repair, the front porch replaced, and the back deck repaired.”
He lifted his head and his eyes locked with mine. I felt the impact of his stare like a physical blow. Our eye contact was that powerful. I wasn’t sure if my head was spinning or the room was spinning; all I knew was that I was dizzy.
My mind was having a difficult time processing Callum Knight being in my house. Not just in my house; we were alone in my house. I couldn’t believe that was happening.
“Does it need to be patched?”
“What?” I lowered my gaze to his lips to try and focus on the task at hand, which was concentrating on the words coming out of his mouth.
“The back deck, does it just need to be patched or does the entire thing need to be replaced?”
“Oh, um, I don’t know.”
“Can I see it?”
So far, we’d remained in the entryway. I was scared to allow him to go any further. I didn’t want memories of him in this place. It was bad enough that everywhere I went in town held a memory of him. That was one of the reasons I chose to teach first grade; it was because I had no memories of Callum in the elementary school and couldn’t subject myself to going into a building every day and being faced with the reminders of my past. He’d only been to my grandpa’s once before when we were around thirteen when my grandpa had to have a knee replacement. We came out to help him with the chickens and goats.
If I let him walk through my house, it would forever be tainted by his presence. But if he was going to be the one doing the repairs, it was sort of a moot point.
“Sure.” I motioned down the hallway.
He turned and started walking down the hallway to the back of the house but stopped after two steps. I looked down and saw there was a traffic jam. Butter and Jelly were in the middle of the hall.
“That’s so weird. They usually hide from people.”
Callum bent down, and he put his hand out. Butter rubbed the side of her face against the back of Callum’s hand at the same time as Jelly nuzzled her head into his palm. Both were purring louder than I think they ever had before. Peanut was also vying for attention. He was on his hind legs with his front paws on Callum’s arm, trying to give him kisses.
“And who are you?”
“The calico is Jelly, and the orange tabby is Butter.”
Callum chuckled. “Peanut, Butter, and Jelly. I love that. Did you get them all at the same time?”
“No, and I didn’t name any of them, actually. I rescued Jelly first from the shelter. She came with her name, Jelly Bean. And then about six months later, Peanut was abandoned with four other dogs in a cardboard box at the school. He was the runt and was named Peanut by the kids at the school. And Butter was Mrs. Trina’s. I don’t know if you remember her. She taught Spanish.”
Callum nodded.
“She passed away, and I didn’t want Butter to go to the shelter, so I brought her home. The names just sort of worked out like that, but I think that means they were meant to be together. It was fate.”
When I said ‘fate,’ the energy between us changed. I couldn’t explain it, whether it was tense or just charged, but something felt different. Callum gave each of them one more head rub and then stood and continued walking.
As I followed behind, I couldn’t stop staring at him. Yes, I’d seen him since he’d returned. But only briefly and not this up close and personal. So much about him was familiar, but at the same time, so much about him had changed. My eyes roamed the contours of his muscular back. The lines of his chiseled shoulder blades. The broad structure of his frame.
He’d matured in the ten years we’d been apart. Not only had his body filled out, but his face had matured. His jawline was more defined; it was squarer. He had a new scar above his right eyebrow that wasn’t there before. He had new tattoos. New wrinkles. He’d lived an entire life since I’d seen him last.
When he entered the bright, airy kitchen, Callum stopped up short and spun around. The sudden about-face caused me to nearly barrel into him. Out of instinct, I reached out and grabbed his arms and rocked back on my heels to stop myself from falling on my butt.
Once I regained my balance, I dropped my hands to my side and tilted my head to meet his gaze. The moment our eyes locked, my heart lodged itself in my throat. The intensity in his smoldering, soulful stare stole the breath from my lungs. There was so much feeling, so much emotion; it was suffocating. I wanted to look away before I did something to embarrass myself, like blush, swoon, cry, or drool, but I was unable to tear my gaze away.
“What’s that?” His voice was gravelly and sent a shiver dancing down my spine.
“What’s what?
He pointed toward the whiteboard hanging beside my cupboard. “That.”
I felt my cheeks flush, not that I had anything to be embarrassed about.
“That is a whiteboard. You can write things on it and then erase them.”
A tiny grin of amusement was all my smart-ass reply elicited, but I’d take it. Callum continued staring at me, playing silent chicken, and he was the victor; I cried uncle first. He knew I hated silences. I had a compulsion; silence gave me anxiety.
“Those are, um, just good rules of thumb to live by,” I skirted around the truth.
“No drinking. No dating. No dick,” he stated flatly.
“Yep.”
“Those are the rules you live by?” he questioned.
“For the next year, yes.”
His brow furrowed. “Seriously?”
“’Fraid so. Those are my New Year’s resolutions. I’m taking the entire year off.”
I waited, bracing myself for the follow-up questions, and one came, but it had nothing to do with my resolutions.
“How long have you been here?” he asked. “Living here.”
It took me a second to recalibrate my mind to the left turn this conversation had taken. “Um, two years. I moved in right after Poppa Dell passed.”
His jaw tensed. “I should have called or sent?—”
“Oh no!” I cut him off. I could see the pain in his eyes. I hoped he hadn’t carried it around all these years. “It’s okay, really. It was fine. He passed in his sleep at ninety-six. He was ready, and he lived a good life.”
Callum held my stare, pinning me in place with an invisible force field like the invisible fence collar I’d tried for Peanut. I couldn’t see the barrier, but I knew it was there, and if I got close to it, I would get zapped. As every second ticked by, I felt my heart begin to beat faster. The tension between us felt like a rubber band being stretched to its limit.
“It’s not okay,” he replied earnestly. “And I’m sorry about your mom.”
“Don’t be,” I insisted. “We weren’t close. You know that.”
“She was still your mom. I wanted to come back, but Felicity was about to have Matty and?—”
“You don’t have to explain. I got the flowers.”
“Nadia, I?—”
A loud knock sounded at my door, followed by Peanut barking and scrambling down the hallway, ready to confront whoever dared to step foot on the porch.
“Sorry, I just need to…” Without finishing my sentence, I walked back to the front door.
I could barely swallow over the giant lump that was in my throat as I tried to regain my composure on the short walk down the hallway. Whoever it was better have a damn good reason for showing up. They’d just interrupted a moment. I had no idea how significant a moment it was or could have been, but it was definitely a moment.
“Quiet. Sit,” I instructed Peanut, who begrudgingly plopped down on his rear end, still snorting as I opened the door.
When I lifted my head, I was caught off guard to find Will, my NYE date, standing on my porch.
“Will?”
“Hey, I just thought I’d stop by and see if you wanted to hang out.”
Will lifted a bag of takeout from Manganiello’s Italian Eatery, which since it opened a year ago had been my favorite. Most days, I could be bribed by copious amounts of carbs in a creamy sauce and garlic bread, but not today.
“No thanks.” I started to close the door when he put his hand out on the center of the door to stop it.
“I brought food and thought we could Netflix and chill.”
The term had a connotation of hooking up, which meant he hadn’t got the message even though the signals I’d been giving him were crystal clear. “Will, I told you?—”
“Listen,” he cut me off. “I don’t know what Kendra told you, but it didn’t mean anything . I couldn’t find you at the bar, and she offered me a ride, and you know, it was New Year’s Eve, and I was drunk. Kendra doesn’t have anything to do with us.”
Wow. This guy had boulder-sized balls to show up again, thinking he was going to woo me with the promise of pasta and meaningless casual sex; I had to give him that. But those balls must be taking blood away from his brain if he thought I cared about him and Kendra.
Kendra Abernathy came from old money. Her family was one of the founding families of Firefly Island. They owned the ‘haunted’ Abernathy Manor. She and I were the textbook definition of frenemies. The only thing we had in common were our feelings for Callum. She had a Mount Everest-sized crush on him. That’s where the similarities end. She was the opposite of me in every way. She was a brunette with tan skin and almond-shaped hazel eyes who was five foot seven and wore a size two. She had legs for days and perfect skin. I was a five-foot-two, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl with fair skin and curves for days.
From context clues I had, I didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out that Will and Kendra hooked up on NYE. The only thing I couldn’t figure out was why he thought that would bother me.
“First of all, Kendra didn’t tell me anything. And second, there is no us .”
“Well then, what the hell is your problem? Why else would you ghost me after New Year’s?”
He was either deaf or had selective hearing because he ignored the part where I said there is no us.
“Obviously it wasn’t because of your dazzling personality,” I stated flatly.
“Yeah, I know that,” he replied in earnest.
“Wow. I was being sarcastic.” I took a breath. “Okay, I didn’t ghost you. I told you I wasn’t interested in seeing you again.”
“You haven’t returned my calls or messages.”
“ After I told you I wasn’t interested in seeing you again. That’s not ghosting, Einstein.”
I heard footsteps behind me and could feel the tiny hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up. I sensed Callum’s presence and could hear him breathing. I did not want him to witness this embarrassing exchange. Clearly, Will couldn’t take a hint. I would have to be even more blunt than I already had been.
“Look, Will, my decision not to see you again has nothing to do with Kendra or anyone else.”
Will’s eyes shifted to my right, and he looked past me over my shoulder. His expression changed the moment he saw Callum. His jaw set and his nostrils flared like a bull.
“Really?” His tone was accusatory.
This asshole had the nerve to show up at my house unannounced, accuse me of ghosting him after he apparently went home with Kendra Abernathy on NYE when he was supposed to be on a date with me, and he was pissed because another man was in my house. He could go fuck himself.
“Goodbye, Will.”
I started to close the door again, but he put his foot inside the doorframe and tried to push it open even further. “Is he the reason you haven’t been returning my calls?”
Before I could answer, a whoosh of air blew past the side of my face. The next thing I knew, Callum’s arm wrapped around my waist. I wasn’t sure what MMA/ninja move he’d pulled, but before I knew what was happening, I blinked, and our positions were reversed. I was looking at Callum’s back; he was now standing in front of me, facing Will. It was the first time we’d touched, and even though it had been for only a fraction of a second, my body recognized his touch. It was just like muscle memory, and all of my cells lit up with awareness, exploding like a sunburst from my core.
“She said goodbye, Will,” Callum instructed in a calm that held a menacing threat just below the surface.
There was maybe an inch between Callum’s body and mine, and I could feel waves of anger radiating off his body. I was so close to him that the heat of my breath blew back against my face. I stared at the contours of Callum’s back through the thin material in his shirt and had the strongest urge to reach up and touch it.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Will spat out.
“If you’re still standing here in ten seconds, you’ll find out.”
I knew that Callum’s statement wasn’t a threat. It was a promise.
“Callum.” I stepped around him to get between the two men as I put my hand on Callum’s bicep, but he stopped me by grabbing my wrist and pulling me against the side of his body. When his fingers encircled my delicate wrist bones, my knees went weak from the sensation of his touch, and I melted into his frame. I forgot what it was like to be this close to him, to feel so safe, so protected, so turned on. Every part of my female anatomy, from my ovaries to my labia, tingled with arousal so potent I would not be surprised if I spontaneously climaxed.
At the same time, I was processing the near-orgasmic state Callum’s touch and behavior transported me to; Will must have heard me say his name because his entire demeanor changed. In the span of one second, his energy went from hostility to hero worship.
“Callum… Holy shit, you’re Callum Knight?!” Will pulled out his phone as he staggered back two steps. “Can I get a self?—”
The moment Will’s foot was out of the doorframe, Callum shifted us both to the right and slammed the door in Will’s face before he could finish asking for a selfie. The whole thing happened so fast, I stumbled over my feet and ended up backed up against the wall. Callum was standing in front of me, and I realized I’d used him for balance. My hand was resting in the center of his chest. Beneath my palm, I could feel his heart beating heavily and quickly. Ba bump, ba bump, ba bump, ba bump, ba bump, ba bump, ba bump.
My eyes lifted to his, and I was transported back in time fifteen years. All of the time we’d been apart disappeared. When I stared into Callum Knight’s eyes, I was back in high school again, madly in love with the man I knew I was going to marry.
“Sorry about that.” I don’t know how I managed to string three words together over the lump of nostalgic lust and love clogging my throat, but yay me. It was a small victory, but I would take it.
“You don’t need to apologize for an asshole who can’t take a hint.”
Being an inch away from one another felt so familiar, so right. I found myself closing my eyes in anticipation of a kiss. As soon as my lids shut, he stepped back, and the moment was over—the moment I’d clearly invented in my head.
I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment as I turned to go back toward the kitchen, hoping he didn’t mention what had just passed between us.
“I get it now,” Callum said as we walked through the kitchen.
I glanced over my shoulder. “What?”
“The list.” He pointed to the whiteboard. “If that’s the quality of men you’ve been dating, I’d take a year off too.”
I smiled, and just like that, all the embarrassment and awkwardness I felt melted away. That was one of the things I missed most about Callum; he always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better in any situation. It didn’t matter if I was scared, anxious, in pain, doubting myself, overthinking, or obsessing about something; whatever was going on in my head, Callum had a way of breaking through the noise and saying exactly the right thing to make me feel better. And I liked to think I did the same for him.
I hadn’t just lost my boyfriend; I’d lost my best friend. That’s who I missed most.