36. Callum
36
CALLUM
I sat on the steps of the gazebo that overlooked the town square, watching the sea of faces laughing, eating, drinking, and dancing at the reception. There were probably five hundred people in attendance, but it felt like half of Firefly was gathered to celebrate Zoe’s big day. When Austin was killed serving his country at such a young age and left behind a widow and toddler, she was adopted as the unofficial town’s sweetheart. The wedding reception felt more like a festival than a private affair. Every tree in the park had fairy lights dripping from its branches; ten food trucks lined the outskirts of the park, serving varied choices of cuisine and beverages; a band played at one end of the park and a DJ at the other; there were two large wooden dance floors, one in front of the DJ and the other in front of the band; an open-air photo booth; a caricaturist who’d captured Buzz’s essence so brilliantly I planned on framing the cartoon image; and a section of lawn games including giant Jenga, giant chess, and cornhole.
There were so many familiar faces as I scanned the crowds. My mom and Michael were on the dance floor with at least eighty other people listening to the pop vocal stylings of Lady Gaga pumping through speakers instructing people to “Just Dance.”
Matty was with his friends Luna and Reece. The trio of troublemakers, a name Buzz had given the threesome when Luna and Reece visited Matty at the farm last week, were orbiting the candy bar, which was intended for guests to fill up tiny mesh bags and take home as favors. Hank assured me he would keep an eye on them to make sure they didn’t have to be rushed to the hospital from a sugar coma.
Buzz was cuddled up on a bench with his “lady friend” Agnes in what had to be the most opposites-attract romance of them all. Never in a million years would I have put the two of them together. Agnes spent her career as the town librarian. She retired at the age of seventy after fifty-two years of service but still volunteered at the library five days a week. If a movie were casting a stereotypical librarian, she would easily get the part. Her hairstyle and clothes had never changed in all the years I’d known her. She always had her hair up in a bun, black cat-eye glasses worn around her neck with a silver chain, a collared shirt with a cardigan, and a skirt that hit her mid-calf, which is exactly what she wore today. And Buzz, of course, was wearing his ‘church overalls.’
Chloe was with Kendall, AJ, and Ritchie at the open-air photo booth, which consisted of a backdrop wall of greenery with Zoe and Miles’ names in neon at the top and a table beside it full of props. I watched as Chloe laughed and talked with her friends as they donned oversized hats and mustaches. For the first time since I picked her up from Kendall’s house after arriving in Firefly, she looked like a normal teenager, without a care in the world.
This week, when I was down with the flu, we’d finally had a chance to talk—really talk. She’d asked me about our dad, and I told her what he was like, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Thankfully, I’d had a talk with my mom before my talk with Chloe, so I understood my dad in a way I never had before. After hearing what he’d done for my mom, I saw the man who I’d had such conflicted emotions about through an entirely different lens.
When I got home from the bachelor-bachelorette party, my mom was awake. I told her about Nadia’s confession that nothing had happened with Jerry, and she said she already knew. She explained that she’d gone over to talk to Nadia, and then she told me what they’d discussed. We stayed up the entire night. I cried; she cried. I wasn’t sure I had completely processed everything I’d learned yet, but it did explain a lot of things to me about my mom and my parents’ relationship.
Everything felt right in the world. For the first time since I got the call six weeks ago from Reagan saying Chloe’s mom had passed and she’d named me as her guardian, I felt like I could breathe. I felt at peace. I felt like my life had righted itself again.
Actually, it was a lot longer than that. This was the first time I felt at peace, and like my life had righted itself since I saw Jerry fucking Clemons bare-chested exiting Nadia’s house at six in the morning. Ever since that moment, everything I did, every decision I made, was just an attempt to distract myself and avoid the pain I was in.
I’d spent so many years focusing on my career and numbing myself to any real emotions. When I had Matty, I tried to heal the broken parts of me. I tried to be present with him. I tried to shatter the In Case of Emergency glass I’d constructed around my broken heart. But now I knew I’d done that by attempting to force a square family peg into a dysfunctional round hole.
There was no way Felicity and I would have ever worked out. It had only lasted as long as it had because I was so emotionally closed off; nothing she did affected me. That was not the example I wanted to set for Matty. I wanted him to see a healthy relationship or no relationship at all. He needed to see that families come in all shapes and sizes.
His family had a half-aunt in Chloe, or whatever the correct title a half-sibling had, a Nana Nora, a Buzz, and a community of people who felt like family. And I hoped he would have Nadia.
“So, I heard we’re stuck with ya.”
I looked up and saw Ray standing next to me.
“Yep. Looks like it.”
Using my shoulder for balance, he lowered down beside me on the steps. “Buzz told me you’re gonna fight Martinez.”
“That’s the plan.”
My team was going to be coming out here to train me. I’d been working on the details for housing and funding through sponsors this week, and I got everything finalized yesterday. My publicist would be announcing the news on Monday. I was excited to finally have my life in order so I could go all in with Nadia.
I’d been trying to get a moment alone with her, but she just kept getting pulled away. And I was tired of small talk, which was why I’d taken myself off to decompress away from the crowds. There was only so much socializing I could do.
“I know your daddy never did say how proud he was of you, but…that don’t mean he wasn’t; that just means he had a funny way of showin’ it.”
If this conversation were happening pre-mom-talk, I would have dismissed what Ray was saying as bullshit, but now I realized my father was a much more complex man than I knew him to be.
“You know how most people will be nice to your face but then nasty behind your back?” Ray continued. “Well, your daddy was the opposite with you. When you weren’t around, he bragged and bragged on you. Every time you came home with a report card and got on the honor roll or had twenty yards rushing or hit a home run, or especially when you started fighting, he couldn’t stop goin’ on about how his son was breakin’ records. He knew all your stats, all the odds you beat. Seven to one. Five to one. How you were proving everyone wrong and?—”
“He knew my stats? He bragged about me?” I shook my head. There was absolutely no way in hell that happened. “He said I was a disappointment. That I was flushing my life down the toilet.”
Ray sighed, and his shoulders dropped. “You see now, that’s the worst part; he thought he was doin’ a good thing and givin’ you tough love. Buzz was a hard man when your daddy was a youngin’. He raised your daddy up believin’ that the world is harsh and cruel and no one owes you anything or cares about how good you think you are, and that was a lesson you needed to learn at home. Your daddy truly believed that to do his job and prepare you for the world, he had to break you down, put some fight in ya, and give ya some thick skin. But that’s not who your daddy was. Truth be told, your daddy was a softy. He was all heart.” Ray patted the steps to the gazebo. “This here is a perfect example.”
“What is?”
“This gazebo.”
“The gazebo?” I questioned, not understanding what the gazebo had to do with anything.
Ray’s eyes squinted as if he was puzzled. “I just figured you knew or remembered, but I guess you were just in britches. When you were about, oh, I guess four or so, it was your daddy’s first year as mayor, and he surprised your mama with this gazebo.” Ray patted the step again. “It used to be in the quad at the college where they met, and I guess it was special to them because he didn’t just build her one that looked like the one at their college. This is actually it. He bought it and had it transported on a flatbed truck. It was a big ol’ deal getting it through town.”
Holy shit .
I must have been staring at him with complete shock, because he smiled, patted my shoulder, and stood. “Well, I’m glad to see there are still some surprises in the world. I’m gonna go get some grub.”
As he walked away, the memory of the ribbon-cutting ceremony came back to me. I was young, so it was only flashes, but I did remember my mom crying a lot and hugging my dad, and she told me they were happy tears. But all this time I had no idea of the history that this structure held for them.
I got chills sitting in the gazebo I’d been in hundreds of times because now it had so much more meaning to me. I pictured everything my mom told me; the rainy night, her leaving the party, my dad catching up with her…
The scene was playing out in my mind like a movie when a familiar song began to play as the soundtrack. As soon as I heard the orchestra swell on “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” I looked up as a sea of people—well, a group of six—parted, and Nadia walked toward me. The glint in her eyes had my pants growing uncomfortably snug. The sway in her hips and the neckline on her deep V-neck, navy blue, off-the-shoulder, bodycon midi dress, which hugged her generous curves, wasn’t helping any, either.
From the moment the groom kissed the bride, she’d been pulled away by students, the parents of her students, friends, and colleagues. I was beginning to think there was a conspiracy to keep us apart. I’d been doing my best to be patient, and it seemed that was going to be rewarded.
When she stopped in front of me, her perfect lips curled as she held out her hand. “It’s sunset.”
“Yes, it is.” I stood, and she started to walk to the dance floor, but I tugged her back and up the steps.
“What are you doing?” she asked as I pulled her to the middle of the gazebo.
I snaked my arms around her waist. “Dancing.”
“Here?” She wrapped her arms around my neck, and her head tilted back so her eyes met mine.
“Yes.” I held her tightly, just loving the feeling of my arms around her and having her all to myself.
“Any particular reason we’re dancing here and not on the dance floor?”
“Yes.” I knew that she had no idea about my dad giving my mom the gazebo, or at least I was pretty sure she didn’t. I wanted to see if I could tell whether she knew or not.
“Do you want to share with the class?”
“Because this gazebo is special.”
“It is?”
“Did you come to the ribbon-cutting of this gazebo the first year my dad was mayor? I was four, so you would have been three.”
“Um, I don’t know…I don’t think so. Why?”
“I did, and I remember my mom cried a lot, and she said it was from happy tears. I was just talking to Ray, and he told me that my dad surprised my mom with this?—”
“No!” she gasped. “It’s not!”
“Yes,” I continued. “This is the gazebo that was in the quad at their college.”
“The rainy night gazebo?” Nadia’s eyes got watery.
“Yep. He had it transported here on a flatbed truck for her.”
“Oh my gosh…that’s so…I can’t believe….” Nadia was looking around in awe as if we were standing in the eighth wonder of the world. Then, she suddenly looked back at me. “Wait, so your mom told you…I mean, about her and…your dad?”
“She did. And Ray explained even more about my dad’s parenting philosophy.”
She nodded. “And how are you? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am. I think parents are just people, and you know, maybe my dad was doing the best he could. Hell, maybe Felicity is doing the best she can.” We both looked over at Felicity, who was doing some sort of video in front of a food truck.
“Are you guys…”
“She’s leaving for New York tomorrow. I think she only stayed in town today because she knew the press would be here for Miles’ wedding.”
“And so you two are not?—”
“No, we’re not together. We haven’t been, and she finally accepted it. She didn’t really have a choice. On Monday, my publicist is releasing a statement about the fight and my move back to Firefly, and there are two versions. One that is announcing the fight, our breakup and the move which is being released on Monday and an alternate version that includes you?— ”
“Me? A version includes me?”
“Yes.” I smiled. It was adorable how shocked Nadia was that she could possibly be included in a statement about my life when, besides Matty, she was my life. “Jessie Sloan, my publicist, emailed Felicity both copies and basically let her know that if she continued perpetuating the false narrative, publicly or privately, that we were still engaged, Jessie would personally make sure the entire world would see the alternate version.”
“Is the alternate version bad?”
“For Felicity, it is.”
“Okay, so wait, are you…” Nadia shook her head. “You are moving back?”
The way that Nadia was looking up at me, her eyes brimming with hope and love, made my heart feel like it was going to explode in my chest. I wanted to get down on one knee and ask her to marry me right now, this second, but it wasn’t the right time. It was bad form to get engaged at a wedding reception.
“Yes, I’m not taking Chloe away from the only place and people she’s ever known. And I want Matty to grow up here, around my mom and Buzz. And I want to be here with you. This is my home. You are my home. You are my heart. You always have been.”
She smiled as she took in a shaky breath. “What about the fight? You said the statement was about the fight.”
“I agreed to do it. My team is coming out here to train.”
I saw the fear in her eyes and realized I hadn’t even asked if she would be okay with that. When we were younger, I knew she was always scared about me fighting.
“Is that okay?”
Her eyes widened. “You don’t need my permission.”
“I don’t need it, but I want it. Are you okay with me fighting?”
“Of course. I just…want you to be happy.”
I wrapped my arms around her tighter. “Well, if that’s what you want, then I guess we’re just going to have to break your resolutions again.”
She smiled as a flush rose on her cheeks. “We’ve already broken them.”
“Two of them, but we haven’t dated, and I plan on dating the fuck out of you. I have ten years of dates to catch up on, so I hope you don’t have a lot of plans for the foreseeable future.”
“Aren’t you going to be training for a fight?”
“You know I’ve always been a good multi-tasker.” I held her even tighter. “But you’re right. I think that to maximize the most out of our time, we should move in together.”
She stopped swaying and just looked up at me. “Are you joking, or are you serious?”
“I’m serious, but I know it’s a lot. I have Matty and Chloe?—”
“Yes, I mean no, I mean yes, no...it’s not a lot. Yes, I want you to move in, all of you. If that’s really what you want, and what Chloe and Matty want. I have the space. They can each have their own rooms. But I know they’ve had a lot of changes lately, and I don’t want to do anything that would make them uncomfortable. I just want them to be okay, and we’ve waited this long. If we have to wait a little longer, it’s fine as long as...”
“As long as what?” I brushed a stray strand of hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.
“As long as we’re together, I don’t care about anything else. When I was with the girls earlier, Ashley asked if I would consider moving to Arizona with you. It was hypothetical, but I knew my answer right away: yes, I would. If you had to go to Michigan or Alaska or Timbuktu or wherever, I don’t care, I would go. Because the only thing I know for certain is I don’t want to go through this life without you. I did that already, and it is not fun.”
I chuckled. “Are you giving it zero stars?”
“Yes, zero stars. Do not recommend.”
A warmth spread through my chest as I grinned down at the woman I loved, who I never planned on letting go of again. “So, we’re doing this. For good this time. No more miscommunication. No more lies by omission. No more breakups. No more silly jealousy.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, cowboy. Hold your horses. Let’s not get crazy. I’m still a Scorpio. I can’t promise I’m not going to be jealous over silly things, but I can promise I won’t break up with you or slash anyone’s tires or anything.”
My jaw dropped as Nadia froze. She knew she was busted.
“You did slash Kendra’s tires.”
Kendra Abernathy got the tires on her Jeep slashed sophomore year and I always suspected Nadia was the one who did it because Kendra left risqué Polaroids in my locker the week before the incident, but Nadia never copped to the crime.
“Whatever.” Nadia shrugged. “I never said I didn’t.”
It was true. She never denied it.
“I love you, my little criminal.” I pulled her back into my arms, and she placed her hand on my chest over my tattoo.
“Why did you get this on the day you proposed to Felicity?”
I always wondered if this would ever come up in my life, and I’d have to explain it. I hoped she would understand.
I took a deep breath. “When Felicity told me she was pregnant with Matty, I knew, or I guess I thought, the right thing to do was to ask her to marry me. I kept putting it off. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I told myself I was going to do it before Matty was born, but I didn’t. Felicity got tired of waiting, so she got in touch with a jeweler to speed the process along. On May tenth, I went to pick up the ring at the jeweler, but I couldn’t go inside. Next door, there was a tattoo shop. I got an idea and went home, grabbed the last letter you sent me, brought it down to the tattoo shop, and had them tattoo for now, for always in your handwriting over my heart.”
“That’s my handwriting?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t even notice that.”
“I know it might sound crazy to other people, maybe even to you, but I just needed a part of you, of us, with me that day. I couldn’t buy the ring and ask someone to marry me and not have a part of you with me.”
“Yeah, that’s a little crazy,” she teased with a smile.
“I know it is, but it’s the truth.”
“Is that what the other version of the statement said? That you got that tattoo before you proposed to her?”
“No. No one knows what this tattoo means, but you and me. I don’t actually know what the statement says. Jessie writes all my press releases. I told her what was going on, and she told me she would take care of it. I gave her the Cliffs Notes of our relationship, and she said it basically wrote itself as The Notebook fan fiction, except Felicity does not come out looking sympathetic like James Marsden’s character Lon does in the movie, she comes off as a villain like Billy Zane’s character Cal in Titanic .”
“Callum! Nadia! Cake time!” my mom yelled from about fifty yards away.
It was so surreal hearing my mom call out our names again, just like when she used to call us in for dinner or to come downstairs to watch a movie.
We were halfway down the steps of the gazebo when Nadia stopped and looked up at me. “Do you think if we?—”
“Yes.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t even know?—”
“You want to get married in the gazebo.”
Her nose scrunched up, and I could see that I was right. That was exactly what she was going to say, but she didn’t want to admit it because she hated being predictable. She continued walking.
“That is what you were going to say.” I walked behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
She didn’t reply, just started walking faster. Unfortunately for her, she had on heels in grass, and I was much taller and stronger than her, so she couldn’t speed walk away from me.
I nuzzled my face into her neck and picked her up as she giggled. “Admit it. That was what you were going to say.”
“Never.” She giggled as she squirmed out of my arms. “I will never admit it.”
When we reached the cake area, I set Nadia down on her feet in front of me beside Chloe, my mom, and Michael, who had Matty on his shoulders. I kept my arms around her and rested my chin on her head.
My sister looked at us like we were embarrassing and then looked up at my mom. “Were they always like this?”
A smile I hadn’t seen in a long time spread across my mom’s face. “Yes.”
Nadia tilted her head back to look at me. “For now.”
I kissed her on the head. “For always.”