8. Maisie
Chapter 8
Maisie
F ridge stocked with the essentials plus some, Audra down for her mid-morning nap, and the slew of emails that were waiting for me in my inbox sorted, I’m at a loss for something to do until Jem shows up for her appointment.
Harlan knows everyone in this town, as evidenced by his job and the stroll through town square this morning. We couldn’t go more than ten feet without someone calling out some sort of greeting to the town sheriff. Making it into the grocery store should have been a reprieve, but if anything, the good mornings, hellos and small-town chitchat got more frequent with the people who were in the mostly empty place.
After ignoring the pain in my shoulder and snagging my own meager grocery bags along with my daughter’s car seat the second the car was parked, I ran like the hounds of hell were on my heels once we got back to the apartment after a hasty thank you and goodbye to Harlan. The blessed silence of the space a godsend. I’m not used to being in crowds, or having the attention on me, but I clocked more than one interested glance in my direction as we went through breakfast and grocery shopping.
When Harlan stopped by this morning to ask about the grocery store and then breakfast, I almost said no. But my grumbling stomach and the lack of food in the kitchen space all but assured that I’d have to venture into town at some point today.
My phone chimes with my calendar, giving me my five-minute warning until Jem is due to show up. I get up and start toward the small bathroom to tidy my hair and make sure I don’t have drool drying on my shoulder.
Tires crunching along gravel is the only warning that I have to brace myself for company. I pull open the door before Jem can knock, hoping that Audra will sleep a little bit longer while I meet with her.
“Hey,” I say quietly. “Audra’s napping.”
“Oh. Okay. We can be quiet, and if she wakes up, we can break so you can take care of her.” Jem looks like a million bucks, her hair waving lightly from her face, makeup expertly applied with a light touch. It’s one of those no-makeup makeup looks, and I’m envious that she looks like she does even after having to get up super early to open her store.
I move out of the way so Jem can step into the apartment space and follow her to the small living room. The slanted roof makes the situation for furniture a little awkward, but the couch is situated at the base of the short wall, with a TV and entertainment center across the way against the taller wall.
Jem unloads her shoulder bag at the base of the coffee table and pulls out her own laptop and opens it. We go over color schemes, her current branding for the shop and the details that she wants integrated into her site .
“About how long do you think it would take to get up and running? I wanted to have this done at the end of last year but kept hitting roadblocks and putting it off.”
I eye my notes and mentally calculate my current workload and the time it’ll take me to get what she wants done. “I have two current projects on deck for my existing clients, but I could probably get this started toward the end of the month. My normal turnaround time is two weeks, so you’d have it up and running the second week of next month?”
“That would be awesome. Yes please. Let’s make that happen.”
Jem’s excitement mirrors my own as I walk her through my fees and the options for maintenance on the website, omitting the discount that I’m giving her for buying my baby girl a car seat and being a nice human being. Yes, I need the money, but I want to repay her for her kindness somehow.
“That seems way cheaper than it should be.” She eyes me suspiciously.
I shrug. “Do you want me to go over the contract again?” I try to keep my tone innocent.
Jem opens her mouth to say something, but the piercing wail of Audra interrupts us.
“Excuse me one second.” I stand and set my laptop off to the side of the table before making my way back to the bedroom where I have Audra’s Pack ’n Play set up.
Scooping my girl into my arms, I give her a few seconds to settle into the curve of my shoulder before heading back out to the living room.
“Sorry about that. She’s always a little grumpy and fussy when she wakes up from her nap.”
Jem smiles at my girl, and Audra grins back at her. “ That’s okay. I’m always grumpy when I wake up from a nap too.” She turns to me and asks, “Can I hold her?”
My belly clutches at the thought, and I hesitate just long enough for Jem to jump in. “You can say no. It’s okay.”
I shake my head, trying to get a grip on my panic. I’m the only one who’s ever held my daughter outside of Harlan’s brothers while I was in the hospital, and that was only because I was injured. The thought just highlights the loneliness of our existence.
“No. Sorry. My mind was wandering. Of course you can hold her.” I grab a burp cloth off the back of the couch and hand it to Jem. “The baby drool is a bit much after her naps, if you want to put that over your shirt so she doesn’t ruin it.”
Jem throws the towel over one shoulder, and I pass her Audra. One of Jem’s hands rests lightly on her back and the other is under her bottom supporting her weight.
“Oh my gosh, how precious is she?” She hugs Audra to her chest a little bit tighter, and I smile at the gesture.
“Yeah, she’s precious until she’s waking you up at two a.m. because she wants a midnight snack.”
Jem grins at me. “Oh I bet. The sleep deprivation is probably brutal. A couple of girlfriends had babies recently and they nap when their babies nap religiously if they can.”
“Yeah. I tried that, but ended up doing all the things I couldn’t do when she was awake and wanting to be held.”
“And you don’t have anyone…” She trails off.
“No. Just me and Audra.”
“If I’m being too nosy, you can absolutely tell me to mind my own beeswax, but is her father involved at all?”
The air in my lungs turns to concrete, the weight of it sitting heavy on my chest, and it takes a second for me to remember how to breathe .
“No. He’s not involved.”
Sympathy shines in Jem’s eyes. “I’m sorry. That must be hard.”
I hate the pity I see in her gaze. Would it be nice to have some help? Of course it would, but not at the expense of mine or my daughter’s safety and health. And that’s exactly what would happen if I had stayed. I’d be a punching bag at best or dead at worst. Thinking about what he could have done to Audra is too terrifying to even contemplate.
“It’s okay. It’s all either of us have known.”
Jem nods. And as if realizing I don’t need or want her pity, her expression clears.
Audra gets a grip on Jem’s hair and tugs. “Oh shit. Here let me.” I untangle my daughter’s fingers just as Audra leans forward and starts to root at Jem’s cheek.
Instead of being grossed out, Jem laughs. “Oh gosh, that tickles.”
A blush works its way across my cheeks, the heat of my face enough to make the bags under my eyes sweat. “I’m sorry. She’s hungry and looking for lunch.”
“She’s fine. You can nurse her while we finish chatting.”
“Um.” I don’t know how I feel about whipping out a boob while she’s sitting on the couch right next to me.
“I can leave if it makes you uncomfortable, but I wanted to chat a bit more if that’s okay with you. I’ll be honest, I haven’t made a whole lot of friends since moving here, and I miss my girlfriends something fierce.”
“No. It’s fine. Just give me a second.” I drape the swaddle cloth over my shoulder and unhook my tank and bra, the material of the blanket is light enough that it gives me some privacy while Audra won’t get too hot under there.
Jem turns back around. “To make you more comfortable — while you do something that’s completely natural and beautiful — why don’t I tell you about how I whipped my shirt off right in front of Boone after being caught in a snowstorm — before we started dating each other?”
My eyes about bug out of my head. “What?”
Jem grins at me. “Yeah. I was on my way back to the town we used to live in when a snowstorm hit and I had to pull off to the side of the road. I almost froze to death when I decided to try and hoof it back to town when my car ran out of gas. Stumbled onto Boone’s cabin and made myself right at home, getting nearly naked in front of the fire. In my defense, I thought my tits were about to freeze right off, and he did offer me dry, warm clothes to change into.”
“Holy shit. What did Boone do?”
“He turned around like the gentleman that he is. I about swooned right there in his cabin’s living room.”
I smile slightly at the love in her tone and try to ignore the jealous pang in my chest.
After clearing my throat, I ask, “Where did you move here from?”
“Felt, Idaho. Landed there after finishing high school. Managed a bakery for years before the fateful tit show. Boone and I started seeing each other, and when it got serious, I moved here to open my coffee shop.”
“Did Boone live in Felt too?”
Jem nods. “He did. He was a park ranger up there. His dad manages the one down here, and when he had trouble keeping rangers on staff, asked Boone to move home and help him out.”
Harlan said that he was born and raised here, it makes sense that his brothers would be too. I file away the information that Boone didn’t always live here.
“How long have you guys been in Everette?”
“About a year and a half now. I miss my friends back in Felt, but it’s only a two-hour drive when I want to visit. Plus, it was way easier to open my shop here than Felt, since Felt is right outside of the big ski resort in Jackson, Wyoming — so everything was more expensive than I could afford.”
I nod along and when Audra unlatches, I tuck my boob back away and move her to my shoulder, lightly rubbing and patting her back.
“Did you hear about your rental?” Jem asks.
I nod. “Yeah. They couldn’t reinstate my rental, and they rented it to someone else.”
“That sucks. What assholes.”
I wave away Jem’s ire. “It’s okay. Harlan offered for me to stay here until my rig is up and running again.”
Jem blinks at me. “He did?”
I nod. As much as I don’t want to stay, because there are already too many people here who know my name, I’m kinda stuck.
“Yeah. He did. Why does that surprise you?”
Jem shrugs. “He’s a pretty private guy. He bought his house all the way out here, because being the sheriff, someone is always looking at him, talking to him, bugging him. He doesn’t get a lot of free time when he’s in town. Mostly this apartment just gets used when one of his brothers stay the night.”
“How many brothers does he have?”
“Five. You’ll meet them all eventually if you stay, and don’t worry about keeping their names straight because they look pretty similar. Took me about a solid month before I stopped confusing them. Jedd and Rhett were the two in the hospital when you woke up the first time. You met Boone when we took you to the garage. Which leaves Duke and Finch. Are you gonna take Harlan up on his offer to stay?”
She slides the question in there with a slickness I can appreciate. But I don’t have an answer for her. As much as I don’t want to stay — that it’s not safe for me or Audra — I’m running out of options. With no rooms available at the resort and the local B&B, and the lack of transportation, I’m kinda stuck.
For the second time in two days, I wish that the deer had never run in front of me. Then I wouldn’t be in this situation, and I’d have the mirage of safety that I’ve built around myself.
The fabric of that mirage is fraying at the ends, and I don’t know what I’m going to do when it breaks apart completely.