Chapter Fourteen Head Over Heels
Rahul woke gently, feeling warmer and cosier and happier than he ever had in all his life.
He became aware first of arms wrapped around his middle, then of the hot breath against his shoulder, and finally of the fine hair that lightly tickled his nose.
He felt so tremendous that he was loath to open his eyes and bring the moment to an end.
He brought to mind every second of the night prior, replaying his particularly favourite moments multiple times.
He couldn’t believe it had finally happened, what he’d been waiting over half his life for.
As thrilled as he was, apprehension still clamped his heart like a vice.
Julian had proven he had feelings for him, had said as much, but professions of adoration in the heat of the night were one thing.
Facing facts in the cold light of morning was another matter entirely.
As a cramp settled into the arm that was pinned between his body and the mattress, he came to terms with the fact that the perfect moment was already passing him by and he had to face Julian and whatever his current state of mind might be.
Opening his eyes, he found that Julian’s current state of mind was sleep.
With another few minutes reprieve, Rahul took this time to appreciate his friend’s sleeping form.
He was quite cute like this, though Julian would probably rail against the word.
Sexy, weird, daft -- all those were fine.
But cute? Rahul held back a laugh, able to vividly imagine Julian’s outrage.
He really was cute, though, with his mouth slack and a tiny spot of drool on Rahul’s shoulder beneath it, the little snore rumbling in a nose that had been broken several times during football, his eyes entirely hidden beneath messy swaths of black hair.
Rahul wished he could wake up to this sight every morning for the rest of his life.
He used a corner of the duvet to dab at the drool before he allowed himself to get swept away in a swell of emotion and then kissed Julian’s sleeping mouth.
If he was going to change his mind about the whole thing, he’d probably have a harder time doing it if he was getting snogged.
Julian’s mouth was sleep-sour, but Rahul couldn’t care less.
He’d kiss Julian if his mouth was on fire or covered in ants.
Only cannibals with spears could keep him from kissing Julian, and maybe not even then.
He kissed him until Julian’s mouth began to lazily respond.
He knew the moment he was fully awake because his body stilled, tongue hesitating against Rahul’s.
It only lasted a moment, though. The stillness passed as if it never had been and Julian’s hands were soon in Rahul’s hair, his leg finding its way between Rahul’s.
Rahul’s hands drifted up and down the creamy expanse of Julian’s back before squeezing the inviting roundness of his backside.
Julian huffed a breath into Rahul’s mouth, proceeding to bite his lower lip until it was raw.
Rahul made a small noise, though not even he could tell if it was in pain or pleasure.
He wasn’t going to give Julian a chance to come to his senses. If he had to keep him in a 24/7 sex-induced stupor to stave off the eventual rejection, then that was exactly what he was going to do.
He detached himself from Jules’s mouth with effort in order to duck beneath the duvet and suck a bruise onto the soft, sensitive stretch of skin where thigh met belly.
Julian sighed, back bowing slightly off the bed.
He kept carding his fingers through Rahul’s hair, over and over, like worrying prayer beads.
His erection lay heavy and flushed next to Rahul’s cheek.
He did truly love that cock of his, and it had been far too long since he’d tasted it.
Julian whimpered, his entire body giving a great big shudder as Rahul took him into his mouth.
He swallowed hard around his heavy girth, relishing the funky taste of him.
Sense memory overtook him and he was brought immediately back to that night at his father’s house, a night of many firsts.
The first time he’d stolen from his father’s stock, the first time he’d smoked marijuana, the first time he’d given a blowjob…
He cringed as he remembered how terrible he’d been at it.
But they’d both been inexperienced back then.
He’d picked up a trick or two since, and he was committed to showing Julian everything he’d learned.
He was able to easily take Julian’s entire length into his mouth, breathing through his nose and relaxing his throat to let the head slide in. Julian cried out as if he’d been struck, clutching onto Rahul’s hair, like reins.
“Christing fucking shite,” he cursed nonsensically, voice almost comically high.
Feeling rather smug, Rahul lifted off entirely, giving the glistening head of Julian’s cock a probing lick which had Julian writhing and bucking his hips.
Then he repeated the patented deep-throat manoeuvre and felt Julian go to putty in his hands.
He held the sharp jut of Jules’s hip in one hand and fondled his balls with the other, using nothing but his mouth and the power of his neck muscles to bring him off.
It would have given him a serious cramp had Julian more stamina.
But with this technique it wasn’t long before Julian was whining and wriggling, his breathing coming in ragged gasps, the balls in Rahul’s hand seizing up, and Rahul knew he was on the brink.
If he were a crueller man he would have eased up, maybe even moved off entirely to kiss at the underside of his shaft, just to drag it out, make him ache for it. But he could never torture his Jules.
Instead, he picked up the pace, gently squeezing Julian’s sac, and almost immediately felt the warm gush fill his mouth.
He kept his throat relaxed and swallowed down everything Julian gave him.
When no more was forthcoming, he finally released him with a lewd-sounding pop.
He crawled back up until his head broke free of the duvet and cool air caressed his overheated face.
Julian was sprawled out, limbs akimbo and head thrown back, breathing as hard as if he’d been the one to do all the work. Great big berk, Rahul chuckled inwardly. He pushed the hair off Julian’s face fondly.
“And good morning to you, too,” Julian croaked, voice still high.
Rahul chuckled out loud then and kissed Julian’s flushed cheek. “Morning.” He may have sounded a little hoarse from the abuse his throat had suffered. But it’d been worth it.
It was only then he remembered what he’d been worried about and he braced himself anew.
Julian was fully awake now, and he’d gotten off.
If ever there was a time for clarity, it was now.
This was the moment of truth. Rahul tried to prepare himself for the worst, but he knew in his heart that if Julian went and said cheers but this didn’t really mean anything, yeah? he’d be absolutely gutted.
Instead, Julian’s eyes cracked open, revealing a twinkling slit of blue, and his trademark grin split his face. “I could get used to waking up like this.”
The knot in Rahul’s chest loosened slightly, but it was still too vague to read much into. He scrubbed his knuckles over the stubble forming on Julian’s jaw. “Likewise, small fry.”
“You’d have to stay over a lot for that.
” Julian’s smile waned and he took his lip between his teeth uncertainly.
Rahul’s stomach dropped. Here it came. The rejection.
He’d thought he was ready, but he wasn’t.
Couldn’t they just go back to blowies and cuddles?
“I dunno if you’d want to, but… I wouldn’t mind you staying over a lot from now on. ”
Rahul blinked. He wasn’t quite sure what Julian was trying to say. Or couldn’t dare hope Julian meant what he thought he might mean.
Julian took Rahul’s silence for reticence and he hunched his shoulders defensively, looking up at the ceiling instead of at his best friend.
“If not, that’s fine. It’s whatever. I just thought…
Only, last night was quite good, and right now and everything…
And how you’ve said you love me and all that…
I thought we could… you know. Not just be mates anymore.
But if you don’t want to, I get it. I’ve been a right tit. So I get it if you…”
“Julian.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you, you idiot.”
Julian rolled over onto his side, showing Rahul his back, but not before Rahul clocked the massive grin on his face.
“Shut up,” he said, sounding extremely pleased.
It was a stark contrast to the first time Rahul had professed his love.
This time, he felt so happy he could have cried.
Fuck Northern stoicism and Indian pride.
He wanted to weep with joy. Being a scholar of Julianese, he’d ferreted out his meaning.
He wanted them to be together. To actually be together.
A couple. Partners. Boyfriends. Dating, at the very least. If he’d had a magic lamp and a genie, he couldn’t have wished for better.
He hadn’t known he could be this happy. He’d thought his body just wasn’t capable of it.
He wrapped his big arms around Julian’s narrow waist and crushed him to his chest, kissing his shoulder, the top of his head, the back of his neck, anything he could reach.
It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
He could kiss Julian for a hundred years and it still wouldn’t be enough.
Not enough to show him how much he meant to him.
“Get off, you big Northern lout,” Julian giggled, wriggling as Rahul’s moustache tickled his neck.
He didn’t let up. He kept kissing until Julian wrestled his way out of his hold and pushed Rahul onto his back, straddling his thighs.
“You keep that up and you’re gonna make me do something crazy. ” Julian’s grin was crazy indeed.
Feeling cheeky, Rahul said, “I dare you, then.”