5. Sunshine
Chapter 5
Sunshine
I was off work the next day, so I slept in then decided to do a whole lot of nothing. My invoices were done, and most of the prep work I needed to accomplish for the next few jobs was ready to go.
Sometimes, I liked to have a lot of stuff to do at once followed by absolutely nothing. Today, not having anything to do was a curse. I didn’t have any real hobbies. I’d tried painting, crochet, clay sculpture, cooking, and all sorts of other things, but they never stuck.
Nothing kept my interest. I would fall in love with something, spend a bunch of money to get into it, and lose motivation in a few weeks.
Yet another failing.
I picked up my phone and sent Julian a text before I could talk myself out of it.
Sunshine:
Hope you’re okay
I’m off today if you’re not busy.
There, that was friendly. I figured he’d be off work since he worked twenty-four hours on, twenty-four hours off for a few days in a row before it changed to being off a couple of days in a row. It was a complex schedule and the minute I thought I had figured it out, I would calculate something wrong.
I thought about deleting the message. He probably wanted to spend time with his pack. Logan’s catering business kept him busy all sorts of weird hours, and Luca’s law firm kept him on cases, but they also worked from home sometimes.
Asking about their personal work schedules always seemed like girlfriend territory.
I was just a friend and a business associate. I sat around feeling out of sorts, still not sure whether to unsend the message.
Then Julian texted me back.
Julian:
I would love to come over if you don’t mind?
Chill on the couch?
Still drained from last night.
He then sent me some gifs of adorable sleepy kittens.
Sunshine:
Sounds like a plan
I glanced around my messy living room and had a moment of panic. I should have cleaned up before inviting him over. I ran around, grabbing random items and trying to make the living room look clean, and less like “there were signs of a struggle”.
My little cottage had a small kitchen and eating area that opened into the living room. Down a short hall was a bedroom and master bathroom. It was small, but I didn’t need more. I lived on the same property as the rest of my family.
Of course, I lived in a little cottage now, and not the big house we grew up in. Once we started becoming adults, having everyone under the same room made the house feel too small.
When my parents, aunt, and uncles died in the plane crash that left Ember in the hospital for weeks, our world had been turned upside down.
It was hard. Some nights it felt like we were building a parachute three seconds before we hit the ground, but somehow, we landed on our feet.
Stella even had a pack now. A month ago, she’d fallen hard for Simon, Evan, and Jerrick. I’d never seen my sister happier, and I was relieved. I didn’t need to be a psychologist like Raina to know that losing our parents and growing up early had left its mark.
Stella was the first one to settle down with a pack, even though we had all given dating a shot.
Julian knocked on my door, and I answered it, still holding some clean dish towels I’d just picked up from the laundry pile on the armchair.
He grinned, breezing inside holding two Tupperware containers. “Don’t bother cleaning up. I know you’re a slob.”
I hid my wince, even though his tone was playful. Maybe someday I would get organized enough to not leave a pile of clean clothes half-folded in my living room, but that day wasn’t today.
“Hey, sorry.” He touched my arm. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I don’t care, I’m messy too. So’s Luca.”
“It’s fine.” I nodded at the containers in his hands. “What’s that?”
He headed over to my small kitchen table. “The Sex in a Pan that your mercenary cousin requested, and Logan made you a key lime pie.”
“Ooooo.” I hovered in anticipation.
Julian was wearing a pair of athletic shorts and a t-shirt, his usual sort of outfit, but he was paler than normal, and he had dark circles under his eyes. That was to be expected since his last text message to me had been at three in the morning.
“I’m shocked to see you before noon.”
He shrugged. “I got some sleep.”
“What do you want to do?” I gestured at my couch. “More Race to Win ? Animal Crossing ?”
“Ehhh, I’m still sort of worn out. Binge watch something?”
“Sure.”
“Actually…” The adorable omega looked a little sheepish. “I totally understand if it would make you uncomfortable, so tell me no if you would rather not…”
I scanned his face. He turned a little pink and looked at the floor. He never seemed embarrassed so I couldn’t imagine what he was about to ask.
“I was wondering if you wanted to uhhh…snuggle? While we watch TV.”
“Sure.” I frowned. “You seem nervous asking. Did I do something…?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m just exhausted, and I want to be around you. I’d love to just lay on the couch under a blanket and snuggle while we watch mindless TV.”
Understanding lit me up. “It was a stressful call last night, and you want to recharge.”
Julian nodded. “It was a bad car accident. But I don’t want to put you on the spot.”
“It’s okay.” I clapped my hands together. “I have some weighted blankets. And we should have some snacks and water, so we don’t have to move from the sanctity of the blanket fort.”
Julian laughed, relief making him look irresistible. “That sounds amazing.”
Anyone would want some comfort after a stressful job, but he was an omega and needed extra. I knew the drill, both of my sisters and my cousin were omegas.
I grabbed a weighted blanket off my bed, some pillows, and my two teddy bears, and brought them to the couch. “Stella, Luna, and Ember like stuffed animals too.” I spent a lot of time cuddling with my sisters and cousins, even when we were teens and “too old” for that sort of thing. It was like a giant slumber party.
I set the pillows and blanket down, then handed Lewis, my ancient stuffed panda, to Julian. “Here you go. I’ll just give him to you, so you don’t have to wrestle with keeping up your manly appearance.”
Julian put his arm around Lewis. “I so appreciate that.”
I got together some Goldfish crackers, potato chips, Nutter Butter bars, and the water and brought it all over to the coffee table. Julian was stretched out full-length on the couch, already looking more relaxed. He was leaning up on one elbow, his chin resting on his hand as he searched through the channels, stopping on the reality cooking competition we both enjoyed watching while we judged the chefs ruthlessly. I couldn’t cook to save my life, but it didn’t stop me from heckling people who couldn’t poach an egg.
I paused. “Where do you want me…?”
Julian tossed the remote onto the coffee table and patted the empty space in from of him. “Here? Wherever you’re comfortable. I can sit up if you’d prefer.”
“No, that’s okay.” I moved so I was lying in front of him, and he dragged the blanket over us both. Then he put his arms around me, and pulled me back against him, his forearms crossing my upper chest to cover my shoulders like a bear hug. I sighed happily, and he laughed.
“What?” I said. “This is cozy.”
I was trying not to examine why Julian was working so hard to not give me the wrong impression. He said he just wanted to snuggle. It had nothing to do with sex. He even had his forearm high enough that he was hugging my collarbone, with no danger of touching my breasts.
We were friends. I was allowed to snuggle with my friend. Even if we’d never snuggled like this before.
I settled back against his chest, stretching right out on the couch. I could see some of his tattoos, and I started studying them now that his arms were around me, even though my eyelids were starting to droop.
I’d never been so comfortable in my life. The blanket was warm and heavy, and with Julian’s slow breathing against my neck, I felt safe and warm, in a way I hadn’t since before my parents died.
“If this is why omegas like snuggling so much, I think I’m adding it to my needs as a beta.” Which were, biologically speaking, very little. But I could pretend.
I might have snuggled with my cousins and sisters before, but it was different with Julian. His scent coconut and pineapple scent surrounded me, making me think about beachy vacations.
“Mmm. Yes.” Julian sighed, squeezing me against him gently before loosening up. “You smell good, too.”
“What do I smell like?”
“Laundry. Sunshine. Outside.” His voice was thick with sleep. “Like a nest.”
I blinked, keeping my eyes on the cooking show. That was a compliment. Had to be.
Betas had softer scents than alphas or omegas, and Rob had always said I smelled fresh and clean and like being outside. It somehow didn’t come out sounding like a particularly alluring thing, and I’d always wished I had a more evocative scent.
But Julian said I smelled like a nest.
I tried not to read anything into the situation. This didn’t mean he wanted to date me. He was my friend, and he’d had a stressful night at work last night. Of course he wanted comfort.
I thought again about how Mason had never really warmed up to me. Not like his alphas had. We’d been friendly enough, but he’d always acted like I could never give him what he needed.
It was strange then that just snuggling on the couch seemed to make Julian more relaxed than I’d seen him in days.
His breathing gradually evened out, and before I knew it, my eyelids were heavy. I wanted to stay awake and revel in the feel of Julian’s arms around me. His chest moving up and down, the hard planes of his body curled behind me.
But sleep claimed me anyway. I woke up a few hours later when Julian shifted. I made a sleepy noise, and Julian patted my arm.
I lifted my head, and twisted so I could look at him. He was awake and gave me a sleepy smile.
“Hi. Epic nap time snuggles achieved.”
I nodded, setting my head back down. I usually didn’t like napping in the middle of the day, but today I felt refreshed, like I could run ten laps.
Well, maybe not ten laps.
Julian shifted, and drank some water, before handing me my cup. He sat up a little bit, pulling me with him.
“Didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I feel better.” He wrapped his arm around my waist, adjusting the blankets so we were both covered. He gave a little sigh, and my heart thumped in my chest.
I curled into his side. “I apparently needed that, too.”
We ate some snacks until I felt more awake. I shifted so I was a little bit more on my back, and I could look at his face. “Are you okay? Just working too much or was last night that bad?”
Julian made a face. “It’s a bunch of little stuff that’s making me crazy.”
“Oh, that’s worse sometimes.” I thought about my stupid invoices.
“You know Chuck?”
He was an alpha in Julian’s company who had mentioned—a time or seven—that maybe omegas shouldn’t be allowed to be firefighters.
I glared. “He’s an asshole.”
“He is. And mostly it’s fine, but last night on-site, we had to pull an omega woman out of the car. She was okay—everyone survived, with relatively minor injuries,” Julian reassured me, “—but there were three different cars involved, and one of them had kids who were scared, and it was a high emotion situation.”
“Did Chuck do something?” I could see where this was headed.
“Yeah. The omega woman wanted me to help her out of the car, but Chuck kept stepping in. He was really upset, even though you couldn’t see it, and the omega woman’s pheromones were bothering him. We needed the Jaws of Life to get her out of the car, so by the time she was freed, her scent was really concentrated. She was terrified, and that set him off.”
I snuggled against Julian, pulling my ankles under me. “But you made her feel safer.”
“I did.” Julian sighed. “Afterward, when it was safe to react, Chuck got in my face and told me I needed to keep my emotions in check. That it was bad enough to have to ignore the passengers, he didn’t need to worry about my scent too.”
I struggled, and failed, to keep the stink eye off my face. I was going to march right down there and tear Chuck a new one.
Julian laughed. “That’s the same look Luca and Logan get. Stop, it’s fine. He’s just an asshole. We all have to deal with stupid coworkers.”
“That’s for sure. My family can be a pain in the butt.” I traced the scales on Julian’s forearm dragon tattoo. It was a little bit bumpy where the ink sat under his skin. I leaned my head against his shoulder. His brown eyes were so close, his plush mouth right there. “You said a bunch of little things. That doesn’t sound little.”
“I love my job, but I didn’t make it easier on myself as an omega choosing the profession I did.” Julian sighed. “That stupid firefighter charity calendar is coming up again and they’re asking me to be in it again.”
“The what now?” I frowned, looking the TV. It was better to pretend I wasn’t hanging on his every word.
On screen, the celebrity chef was making the poor contestants fillet a whole Alaskan salmon. I consoled myself knowing that no matter how terrible things were, I would never have to fillet a salmon on TV.
“We do a calendar and sell it for charity every year.” Julian cocked his head. “I told you about it when we did it last year.”
“Yes. You said, ‘we’re selling calendars for charity’. Not that firefighters would be in the calendar.” I squinted up at him. “I need to see this. You have copies, right?”
“Of course.” Julian grinned, and heat zipped through me. I tried to calm down, but the thought of him posing, holding an ax or something, was too much to bear. I breathed deeply, but instead of that helping, I got a lungful of his coconut and pineapple scent. Suddenly I was craving a pina colada.
“The photographer always wants to cover up my bond marks, but it feels wrong, like I’m saying I’m available when I’m not.”
And that doused the lust. He wasn’t available. I could dream about his hands sliding over my body all I wanted, but this was all the physical contact I would ever have.
I had to be okay with that. I shouldn’t be lusting after my friend.
“How do Logan and Luca feel?”
“They don’t need to give me permission, of course, and I’m comfortable with my body. But Luca is also possessive, and covering my bondmarks is just gonna make him more so.”
“Possessive?” I tried to hide the skepticism in my voice. Luca had been nothing but urbane and relaxed whenever I saw him. Rob and Isaac had been possessive around Mason, sometimes to the point of not wanting him to go in public without them. Luca was nothing like that.
Julian laughed. “I know, I know. He keeps his cool, but he’d drag me by my hair back to the nest if he could. I go between using scent canceling products at the station to him jumping me when I get home so he can put his scent all over me again.”
And just like that, all of the oxygen left the room. There was a five-alarm fire in my panties as I pictured it. Julian trying to play nice by washing his omega scent off at work and inadvertently getting rid of the scent of his alphas, but then getting the sex of his life the second he came home.
Luca, possessive and growling. Logan...also growling. Maybe tearing his clothes off. My mind went straight to the X-rated version of Julian’s life.
Julian arched an eyebrow. “Didn’t mean to distract you.”
I was so glad at that moment that he wasn’t being flirty with me. I would have made an idiot of myself by plastering myself against his body. He would have had to let me down gently, probably blame himself, and then pull back.
I shook my head. “It was a lot of exciting information at once.”
“Exciting?” His black hair was rumpled on one side from sleeping, the ponytail starting to fall out. I wanted to either smooth the bit of hair or pull the ponytail holder out completely.
Instead, I answered him. Because I could be reasonable and not jump my hot omega friend.
“Get me that calendar and we’ll do a sponsor thing again this year.” I nudged him. “But back to your problem. If Luca and Logan said they’re okay with it, then they are. You have a choice over your body and what you do with it. If you want to go into a calendar of sexy firefighters for a good cause, that’s okay.”
Julian nodded, looking at the TV thoughtfully. “You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.” I grabbed some popcorn. The way I was feeling, if I didn’t do something with my hands, I would rip his shirt off.
I’d seen Julian in a tank top before, and his bondmarks were extremely obvious. One bite on each shoulder, with a black tribal tattoo circling them. He basically had a neon sign on his body saying bonded and taken by two alphas.
“What the hell sort of position does that photographer think you can take without showing your bondmarks?”
“With my jacket on.” Julian grinned.
“That’s a waste,” I snorted. “How else are we going to see your abs?”
“Oh, I wear the jacket open.” Julian’s grin turned hot again. “Or without my shirt on but airbrushing the bondmarks out.”
I shook my head. “Tell them to shove it and take whatever sort of picture you want. For charity.”
“Yeah, I’ll think of the puppies.” Julian grabbed some popcorn.
“Yes, the starving orphans.” I struggled not to picture him posing shirtless. Failed horribly and grabbed my water. It was hot in here.
He laughed. “I’ll think of the cause and grin and bear it.”
“So will the public when we pay for the calendar.” I smirked.
“Speaking of, you’re coming to the First Responder’s Festival, right?”
“We’re working a booth this year.” I kept my attention on the TV. My face was hot, and my insides felt squirmy. I was plastered against Julian’s side, but it didn’t feel close enough. I wanted more. More touching, more of his scent, more of that flirty smirk he gave me when he knew I was picturing him shirtless.
“I got roped into helping out with the ice bath booth again.”
“The what now?”
“The ice bath.” Julian gave me an innocent look, so I knew he was up to something. “I’m going to sit in a massive tub filled with ice water. People come sit with me and the longer they stay in, the more money gets donated.”
I was going to need some sort of ice bath to cool my hormones. My skin prickled, and I could feel myself getting wet from all the lewd images floating through my mind. Julian wet. Julian in a wet t-shirt. I edited out the part about freezing cold water and focused on Julian wet and sexy.
Thank heavens I wasn’t an omega, or I would be perfuming like crazy.
“That sounds horrible.”
Julian shrugged. “It gets your adrenaline going.”
“Aaand the real reason you became a firefighter surfaces.”
Julian let out a real laugh. “That and I get to carry a massive hose around all day.”
“You would think that was a perk.” I shook my head and changed the subject. It was going to be another lonely night for me when Julian went home to his pack.
Apparently to get railed by his alphas. I tried to get the images of the three of them thrusting into each other out of my mind, but it was too late. Sometimes Rob had become possessive about wanting Mason smelling like him and he’d come all over him. It wasn’t something I was part of, but I was allowed to watch, and the idea of being scented and marked had always made me squirm.
I pushed all those heated thoughts away. Julian wasn’t going to be mine, not like that. Their pack was closed, and I should be respectful of that.
We spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV. I kept my mind off how good it would feel to crawl into Julian’s lap, mostly, and when he left, he made me promise we could do something on his next swing shift.
I said yes because I was a glutton for punishment, and no matter how much I tried to keep my distance, being around Julian felt like home.