12. Sunshine
Chapter 12
Sunshine
I approached the ice bath with a mixture of excitement and dread. I’d researched ice baths on the Internet and found out there were health benefits. Good for inflammation and swelling, also inconclusive studies showing it promoted relief from anxiety and depression.
Mostly it was a funny gimmick to draw interest to the booth. When we got there, Chloe was sitting in it as the fire crew’s support person, encouraging a teenage girl whose face had turned pale. Her family stood to the side cheering her on, while a massive digital clock with red letters counted down her time.
Thirty seconds.
The girl huffed and puffed, and Chloe was telling her to breathe in and out.
Julian’s shorts and tank top were damp, and he’d taken his flip flops off at some point.
There were two other firefighters standing around in damp clothes, so I assumed they had taken turns in the ice bath.
His tattoos were on bright display, and I saw the rest of the dragon curving around his back, some koi fish done in watercolor style swimming around each other in yin and yang style, and other tattoos I couldn’t pick out without staring more than I already was.
“Not too late to back out.” Julian grinned at his wrung water out of his damp hair. Logan and Luca walked toward us from around the back of the booth.
“I only made it a minute last time,” Luca admitted as he came to stand near me.
“A minute is a great time.” Julian smiled. “Any time is good.”
“I would take a bullet for you, but I’m not jumping in that ice bath again.” Logan looked at me. “Did you eat?”
“Too much.” I patted my stomach. “There’s nothing left. We licked it clean.”
“Licked it clean, huh?” Julian winked. “I got something for you to lick.”
“Sure you do. Jump in that bucket of ice water and then let’s go.” I rolled my eyes. He was wet and beaming, clearly in his element. Adrenaline rush my eye.
Luca and Logan both laughed, a surprised sound.
Julian tapped his forehead. “Good thinking, babe. Let’s wait a little bit, that ice won’t do my anatomy any favors.”
I blushed at his shrinkage reference, and the voice in the back of my mind whispered that his pack wasn’t closed. Then I felt bad, remembering Becca asking me if I was going to chase Julian’s pack too. They hadn’t been on a date in the years I’d known them, so nothing really had changed.
I couldn’t help that I liked dating multiple men at the same time. I’d dated betas in high school, but one of my boyfriend’s designation as an omega came in when we were seventeen. Even though we’d never had sex, it was amazing dating him and his two alphas at once. Someone was always around, and they’d fitted my personality. It took the pressure off being perfect for one person.
It must have left a mark, because whenever I dated a beta man it felt weird, like we were missing someone.
The teenage girl tapped out, and Julian and some of the other firefighters helped her out of the tub. She was shivering but beaming with pride, and her family clapped. She’d made it almost a minute.
I would have to beat that. There was just no way I could let myself lose to Luca.
“Your turn.” Julian held out his hand, and I stepped up to the small stage. It was much less crowded now that the fair was basically over, and I was glad I’d decided to do this when the fairgrounds were mostly empty.
Julian led me over to the table and handed me his shirt. “Use my shirt so you have something dry.”
“Aren’t I supposed to be the one giving you clothes?” I joked, nerves fluttering in my stomach.
“I will totally steal your clothes if I can get away with it.” Julian smirked, tugging gently at my tie-dyed t-shirt.
I should have gone and got my bathing suit but going home just for that that had felt too weird. There was a small partition you could change shirts in, so I ducked behind it and changed out of mine and pulled Julian’s on. It was too big but didn’t swallow me whole. The combination of pineapples and coconut reassuring me.
I came out grinning. My entire family waited for me along with Logan and Luca.
“Who’s next?” I said, giving my whole family the thumbs up.
“Hell, no!” Ember said, West hugging her from behind. “We’re here for moral support.”
Julian led me over to the tub. My stomach turned and I wondered if I was going to make it. The water was still filled with ice and chilly air radiated out of the tub.
Chloe shook herself, a towel wrapped around her shoulders. “You got this.”
“Okay.” Julian stood in front of the tub. “I’m going to climb in first to help stabilize you. Sit down, all at once. Don’t try to go in slowly to adjust.”
I nodded.
“Try to meditate if you can. Or focus on your breathing. In and out.” Julian took a deep breath and then let it out. “That’s all you have to do. You can tap out at any time. No shame, just do it as long as you can.”
“Okay.” I glanced at the red clock. “That’s going to count down the time?”
“Yes, but once you’re in, it’s easier not to watch the clock.” Julian hopped into the tub and then gestured at me. I stalled for half a second, but I didn’t want to keep him waiting.
I stepped into the ice water, and my entire body stiffened. I let out a gasp, unable to stop the air from leaving my lungs. Icy water hit me up to my knee. It felt like if I stopped to think about the blinding cold, I would die. I sat down instead, and freezing numbness gripped me.
Panic hit me as the pain receptors lit up inside my brain. It was cold. So cold it was hot, sending burning, searing pain all through my body. Julian had sat down at the same time I did. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and leaned back so I was leaning against him.
“Remember to breathe. In.” He took in a deep breath through his nose. “And out.”
I sucked in a breath, the warmth of his body engulfing me. My instincts were at war between escaping the freezing numbness and sinking into the pure comfort of his arms around me. I put my hands on his forearms and took a deep breath.
“There you go, babe, in and out.”
I let out a shaky breath. I kept waiting to get used to the searing cold, but so far, I was two seconds from jumping out.
Julian nuzzled my hair. “Breathe in and out. Come on, take another breath for me.”
I obeyed. My brain latched on to his soothing voice. I wanted to ask when I would get used to it, but I couldn’t make my mouth work. Dimly, I heard my family cheering me, Luca cheering my name, Logan promising dessert.
It was all fuzzy. A cocoon wrapped around me, and I sank into it. It was like meditation, but much more extreme. I wasn’t sitting calmly in our rock garden listening to the birds chirp, trying to empty my mind. I was forcing my body to laser focus on the blinding cold from my waist down.
“Breath in.” Julian’s mouth was right next to my ear. “And out.”
I tried to focus on his body wrapped around mine. I was safe. He wouldn’t let anything hurt me.
It was still so cold. Every time I thought I’d been in long enough for my body to acclimate, another jolt of pure freezing cold hit me.
I fought the urge to pull away from it.
“Remember your breathing.” Julian’s voice pulled me out of my body and back to focusing on one single task.
The rest of the world fell away. I wasn’t trying to impress Mrs. Cullen, or fix what was broken between me and Talia, or make sure my family was happy.
It was just me and Julian, and all we had to do was breathe.
So I focused on his chest inhaling, and exhaling. I matched my own body movements with his, and it was oddly sensual, like our bodies were in sync with more than just our breath.
It didn’t get less cold, but it stopped being so shocking. I floated in space, blocking out everything but Julian’s voice and the deep cold.
“And time!” Chloe yelled.
I blinked, coming out of the haze.
The clock said five minutes in big red numbers. Ember was squealing, jumping up and down, and everyone else was clapping. Luca grinned ear to ear, and Logan’s expression was thoughtful.
“You did amazing.” Julian beamed at me like I’d cured cancer, and my heart squeezed. I would have stayed in the ice bath for an hour if it made him grin at me like that.
“Slowly, babe. Slow and steady.” He gave me one last squeeze and released me.
I almost protested. My brain was slow. It felt like I’d taken a nap and now I was trying to wake up.
Julian climbed out first, Chloe standing close by to offer him a hand. I stood up, my knees shaking, then Julian held out his hands, and I used both to steady myself. My legs were cold, but standing up was worse.
“You okay?” Julian looked into my eyes.
“Yeah.” I blinked. “Just sleepy, sort of?”
“Oh, yeah, we got another one.” Julian’s face lit up. “She likes the ice bath everyone.”
“Pretty sure it was the person she was in the bath with,” Ember muttered.
I pretended I didn’t hear her. She wasn’t exactly wrong. The other firefighters came over to congratulate me for making it five whole minutes. Julian brought me heated towels and sat us in chairs close enough to touch.
Julian waved his hand at Luca and Logan. “We need snuggles from dry people.”
“Did I stay in too long?” I blinked, my brain still fuzzy.
“Nah.” Julian put his arm around me. “I don’t have a full set of dry clothes for you, so we’re bringing our body temperature up the fun way.”
Luca and Logan came up to the stage.
Julian patted the two empty chairs on either side of us. “Come on, snuggle time.”
Luca and Logan both gave each other a look, and I was glad I was cold enough for my blush not to show. Logan sat down next to me, scooting close enough for me to feel his body heat.
“You okay?” Logan asked me as Luca sat on Julian’s side.
“It was actually…fun. I freaked out but it was good once I relaxed.”
Slowly, feeling came back into my legs and arms. It wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t as bad as the pins and needles from sitting on my foot for too long.
I looked at Julian. “I can’t believe that was five minutes.”
“You did great.” Luca patted my back again.
“We’re going to break down our booth.” Raina walked over and looked at Logan. “You’re going to stay with her?”
“Of course.” Logan nodded. “She needs to sit for about ten minutes, anyway.”
My family left, looking far too pleased. Julian’s coworkers congratulated us, then proceeded to break down their own booth around us. We offered to help but were told to stay put.
Julian squeezed his arm around me. “You did that like a pro. I thought you’d last a minute.”
“Showing me up,” Luca said. He didn’t sound mad at all.
“You’re going to come back to our place?” Julian perked up. “Logan promised us dessert.”
“He doesn’t have to cook,” I said automatically, although my words were still coming out slowly.
“It’s no trouble. Unless you’d rather wait for another day?” Logan’s face was close to mine, and I tried not to think about kissing him. His herbal scent was the perfect thing after being in the cold for so long. Invigorating and soothing.
I shook my head. I should use the excuse to get invited over some other time, but I couldn’t stand the idea of being parted from them. Being smushed between them was everything I wanted. All my defenses were down, and the reasons why I shouldn’t want them didn’t matter so much in the haze.
After letting my family know, I was bundled into the back of Logan’s station wagon. The fuzzy feeling was still invading my brain and, for once, I let myself just go with the moment instead of trying to analyze everything.
I was going to spend the evening with Pack Kahele.