23. Sunshine
Chapter 23
Sunshine
T he next day Logan was scheduled to pick me up so we could go to the Farmer’s Market. Technically we were going to go over the menu for Mrs. Cullen’s gala, but the way Luca and Julian had talked about our ‘date’, they made it sound like an illicit affair.
When Logan pulled up at my cottage, I was already standing outside waiting. He strode over to me, then proceeded to hand me a cup of coffee before pulling me into a hug. As he pressed his face into my neck, he breathed in my scent before planting a kiss along my jawline then stepping back to look down at me. “We missed you.”
I hefted my cup of cofee. “I missed you too.”
“‘Course.” He looked at me like he was waiting for some sort of reaction before nodding and heading for the car to open the door for me.
“What?” I followed him to his car, taking my time to make sure I could enjoy the view. He wore a faded T-shirt and jeans, his brown hair pulled back, and he looked delicious.
“Just making sure that’s okay with you. The kissing,” he said gruffly.
My cheeks grew warm. “Uhh, that’s very okay. You’ve been…” I almost said knot-deep, but of course, I wasn’t able to handle his knot or Luca’s.
Someday though. Someday.
Logan flashed me a smile as he rounded the car and slid into the driver’s seat. He brushed his hand over my knee, and I immediately regretted wearing pants. “I mean, randomly,” he added.
I refrained from fanning myself. “Yes, casual touches and kisses are more than okay.”
“Good.” He put his hand on my thigh and pulled out onto the road. We headed to the Farmer’s Market, and I asked him about the menu and what he was especially looking for today. After that, we digressed to some other events his company was catering for. By the time we arrived my nerves had mostly gone away.
I knew how to be myself around Logan, and we spent a very relaxed, pleasant morning looking around at the variety of food. He showed me all sorts of different food vendors, and we sampled local honey, some mangoes, and fresh banana bread.
The morning shifted to afternoon, and after stashing our groceries in the car, Logan took me to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant around the corner from the Farmer’s Market. The walls were painted pale green, with wrought iron awnings in the front entrance.
“This is the best sandwich spot around,” Logan said as he held the door open for me.
A youngish looking man with short black hair and dimples walked up to greet us. He nodded at Logan. “Ahh, the hot-shot chef joins us lowly people.”
“Shut up, Danny.” Logan rolled his eyes.
“Who’s the lovely lady?” Danny smiled at me. “Logan usually doesn’t bring people to his safe haven.”
Logan put his arm around my waist. “She’s mine. Don’t get any ideas.”
“Okay, okay. Can’t blame a guy for trying.” Danny winked at me.
I didn’t think he was trying to flirt, but I didn’t mind Logan claiming me in front of him either.
“Danny and I went to culinary school together,” Logan told me. “He’s got a great place here.”
“I’m excited.” I bumped Logan’s shoulder. “Even though Logan keeps me well fed.”
“I bet he does,” Danny muttered, and led us to a table with a beautiful view.
I looked at the menu. There was nothing super fancy but it all sounded amazing.
“This okay?” Logan looked around. “We’ll go out somewhere nicer later, but I figured you’d love the sandwiches here.”
“I love it.” I beamed at him.
Logan rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not good with words. But, uh, we can talk about whatever you want.”
I looked at Logan’s face, really looked at him. He shifted in his chair, glancing at me before looking down at his plate.
“Are you nervous?” I frowned. “Why?”
“I was trying to show you I cared, but instead I spent the entire morning talking about work.”
“Oh, Logan.” I took his hand. A warm feeling rippled through me. “I like talking about food with you. I know it’s part of our work, but I like hearing your thoughts on how you would plate something, and what ingredients could work better together in a dish.”
Logan eyed me doubtfully. “Did Julian tell you that he basically jumped into my lap? And you know what Luca’s like. They both find it so easy to just talk about what matters to them. I don’t know how to…”
“How to get people to open up?” I cocked my head.
“You do—just by being you. You’re quiet, but I like that I can talk to you while you’re cooking, and I know you’re listening. You’re not just waiting for me to finish what I was saying so it can be your turn to talk.”
I was starting to realize that maybe I wasn’t the only one who was nervous because they really wanted this pack thing to work.
“I’m not great at romance,” Logan scowled at his plate. “I might be able to make you come so many times you can’t walk straight, but you need more than just that.”
I cleared my throat, my body tingling at the memories of those orgasms. “I mean, I won’t say no to those too.”
Logan sent me a heated look. “Good. Because I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I want to do with you. But I want you, Sunshine. We haven’t ever dated anyone else since it’s been the three of us.”
“Wait. What?” I had assumed they occasionally dated another person.
“Nope.” Logan shook his head. “We’re picky. But you’re special.”
His words filled me up with happiness until I felt light as a feather. The waiter came over and took our order, and I was glad because it gave me time to soak up his words.
“You’re special, too,” I said lamely. “I’m really happy that we’re dating.”
Logan grunted again before looking at me intently. “Why do you look so tired?”
I laughed. “You’re not supposed to tell me I look tired.”
Logan looked baffled, running a hand through his hair. “What? Why? I’m worried about you.”
“Thank you.” I couldn’t help but tease him. “But ‘you look tired’ is usually code for ‘you’re pale, and your makeup isn’t covering the bags under your eyes’.”
Logan stared at me like he was waiting for the punchline, then grimaced. “This is why I suck at talking to people.”
“Glad I’m not people.” I fiddled with my menu. “I’m just teasing. You’re right. I am tired.”
“What’s wrong?”
The waiter brought our food, giving me a moment to debate with myself whether I should tell him all my neurotic thoughts or try to keep playing it cool.
But this was Logan. He’d catered so many events with me, and he’d seen all my freak outs. I wasn’t going to shock him, and that was actually very comforting.
“Luna’s pregnant—without a pack.” I held up a finger. “Stuff with my best friend is complicated, because she still talks to my ex-best friend. And I’ve just started dating the pack of my dreams, but I’m wondering if I’m going to somehow screw it all up.”
Logan nodded like this was a perfectly reasonable infodump.
“Your sister will be fine.” He looked at his plate thoughtfully, studying his turkey melt like it would unlock the secrets to the universe. “Your family will be there, and there’ll be no end of people lining up to kick the baby daddies’ asses if they turn out to be assholes.”
“This is true.” I bit into my sandwich—tangy marinara with delicious peppers, onions, and meatballs. “This is a great lunch spot.”
“It is.” Once he saw that I was starting to eat, Logan started on his own sandwich.
I focused on eating my food and trying not to get sauce on my face but failing.
“The situation with your friend is a tough one.” Logan shrugged. “She’s not going to change her behavior. So that means it’s up to you when you decide it’s too much.”
I sighed. “I know.”
“It’s easy to know, but harder to do.” Logan shook his head. “Look at Danny and me. When we went to school together, we competed in everything, right up until we graduated. And then, suddenly, that competitive relationship changed. Instead, we both had someone who knew what culinary school was like, how hard being a professional chef was.”
“Talia was there for me through some of the worst moments of life.”
Logan gave me a pained look. “Just because she was there for you then doesn’t mean she’ll always be there for you. It’s easier to be friends when you’re younger. But as you get older, the priorities shift.”
“For someone not good with words, you sure are hitting the nail on the head.” I picked up a fry. They were perfectly thin but not too thin, with a slightly rough texture.
Logan shrugged. “I’ve gone my separate way from friends before. For some, it was the pressure of me being in a pack when they weren’t that got to be too much. Then there’s the fact that I became successful and some of them hadn’t, and they started trying to use me.”
I thought about how Talia had started trying to align herself with Cosmic Bonds. “Did you feel guilty telling them no?”
“I did at first.” Logan looked at me with such a soft expression my heart melted. “I went into business with Roger, my best friend from culinary school. We put in long hours and put a menu together that blended our styles.
“Then Roger’s mom got sick, and, just like that, he left. Left the restaurant, signed over his shares, his rights, everything. Left me with the lease on the place a week before opening day.”
I sucked in a breath. “Oh, my god. I mean, I get it that his mom was sick, but…hot damn.”
“She had a kidney infection. I felt like a jerk at the time, but she wasn’t dying.” Logan shook his head.
“It was hard going. Julian was pissed. We worked our asses off, Alejandro stepped in to help and we managed to keep the restaurant from sinking.”
“Was that North Shore Grill?” I asked, naming the first restaurant he’d opened in Honolulu.
Logan looked surprised. “Yeah. Most people don’t know that’s my restaurant too.”
“I may or may not have lightly stalked you.” I shrugged, licked my fingers. “You know, research. For Cosmic Bonds.”
“Right.” Logan chuckled. “Anyway, two years later, we got our Michelin star, and Roger wanted to come back. He was ready to work, he said, and wanted to come in and overhaul the menu.”
I made a face. “What an idiot.”
“I told him no. He’d bailed when we needed him, and then he wanted to come back when we’d put all the hard work in and were successful. So he sued me.”
I gasped, almost choking on a meatball.
“You okay?” Logan looked amused, heat crackling in his warm brown eyes. “You need mouth to mouth?”
“Later.” I took a sip of water. “He sued you?”
“Said I stole his menu, and that I owed him money.” Logan stretched his hand, brushing it over the back of mine resting on the table. “But because of that, I met Luca. He was a junior lawyer on the case. We won, and Julian and I found our other alpha.”
“Why isn’t this common knowledge?” I frowned, rubbing my thumb against Logan’s wrist. I was slowly getting used to being touched every time I was around them. “Not that I want your dirty laundry everywhere, but I’m shocked this isn’t well known.”
“I made Roger sign a nondisclosure agreement. Luca said I was being too nice, but I didn’t want infamy around my restaurants. I just wanted them to be known for their food.”
“I get that.” I sighed. “At least you got Luca out of the deal. Is this when you tell me everything happens for a reason?”
Logan looked down at his hand holding mine, lightly grazing his thumb over the back of it. It was comforting and erotic, and also one of the most intimate things anyone had ever done.
I was speechless, watching his calloused thumb touch my skin.
“No, Sunshine.” He looked up at me. “I think we make the best of bad situations. I don’t think I was meant to have my friend betray me just so I could meet Luca. I could have done that on my own. But how I handled the situation puts me on a better path. Instead of letting it destroy me, I tried to learn what I could and move on.”
“Oh.” Tension eased out of my shoulders. I didn’t realize I’d been holding so much inside until I let it slowly drain out of me.
“And as for that last thing on your list?” Logan turned my hand over, pressing a kiss to my palm. “You can’t ruin things with me, Sunshine. I’m yours for as long as you want me.”
All coherent thought left my mind. I stared into his eyes, and saw he was absolutely serious.
“Julian and Luca too, but I’ll let them tell you with their own actions. I know it’s hard to trust again, but I promise you, Sunshine, we’re not going anywhere.”
Tears bit the corners of my eyes. “It’s not that I don’t trust you…” My voice came out hoarse. “I just want you guys so badly and it seems too easy. Too good to be true.”
“It’s not,” Logan said with a small smile. “You’re everything that’s good and pure, and you deserve every scrap of happiness you get. It can’t be too good to be true, because you deserve us, Sunshine.”
All the air left my lungs. Logan squeezed my hand, patiently waiting for me to gather my scattered thoughts.
My mind circled his statements, looking for the catch, the surprise, or for the other shoe to drop. He just kept looking at me, and staring into the intensity of his eyes was like trying to look into the sun.
And just like that, my mind started backtracking. He couldn’t be looking at me like he loved me. It was too soon. We were still getting to know each other. It’s not that I thought any of them would betray me, but I knew from experience that all good things came to an end.
Parents died suddenly, best friends betrayed you, lovers dumped you.
“Thank you.” My voice only wobbled a little bit. “I, uhh, apparently need to work on my expectations in life.”
“You have time.” Logan smiled again, looking perfectly content. “We’re gonna get to know each other better. Heaven knows we’re going to mess up. I keep thinking I need to say more things to you, so you don’t think I’m not interested.”
I shook my head. “Julian talks enough for both of you. It’s not that you’re quiet, I just need to adjust to the idea that we’re dating.”
“Take your time.” Logan brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it.
The rest of the day was perfect enough that I started to think maybe Logan was right.