Chapter 10
R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys
‘I
can’t believe they put heating in the pool.’ Abby sighed happily, floating through the pleasant water on her back. In her periphery, she could see her hair undulating on top of the water, fanned out like a golden halo.
Erik chuckled, gliding towards her. ‘I can’t believe we used to swim in an unheated pool in March. One year it was still snowing. And here we were. Swimming in Arctic waters.’
‘At least we always had it to ourselves.’
‘The heating hasn’t changed that.’
Abby glanced around. She hadn’t paused to take in her surroundings when they’d entered, but it was true. Despite the hotel being at capacity for the holiday weekend, the cavernous hall housing the large pool was empty.
While she appreciated the warm water slipping luxuriously over her sensitised skin, she’d been counting on the cold to shock her body back into submission. To calm the heat flooding every inch of her nervous system. When Erik had suggested a swim, it had seemed like a safe option. Water had always helped clear her head before.
But it only had so much power.
Her gaze fell on Erik and dragged across his body. She’d spent the last few days marvelling at the newly developed lines of his arms, but she hadn’t been prepared for his torso. The last time she’d seen his bare chest had been after a year 13 athletics meet. He’d dragged his shirt off and collapsed in an exhausted heap next to her after a particularly gruelling cross-country event. Even then, she’d had to work to keep her eyes off him. He’d been gangly, his body sprouting upwards far more quickly than it had expanded outwards, but lean muscle had already been forming. When he’d pulled her in for a sweaty hug, she hadn’t known what to do with her hands, sure that if she started touching him she wouldn’t stop.
And now… Abby’s mouth had gone dry when Erik undressed to dive in, exposing a glorious stomach with lightly defined abs and two sharp lines disappearing into his swimming trunks.
Those lines deserved sonnets written in their honour.
When she brought her eyes back to his, amusement sparked in the sea of grey. Yeah. He’d definitely noticed her checking him out. So she did the mature thing: she turned away quickly, kicking until she reached the edge of the pool.
Erik followed, matching her pace lap after lap. They’d always done it as a warm-up exercise, trying to acclimate their bodies to the icy water. While not necessary in those soothing temperatures, she appreciated the exertion. It helped keep her mind off how much of Erik’s skin she could see. Although…she thought she’d noticed him cast a lingering look as she had removed her dress. Maybe she wasn’t the only one using the exercise as a distraction.
‘Abby!’ A friendly voice echoed through the room.
She stopped mid-stroke, looking up to find Finn kneeling at the edge of the pool, waving her over. She was dimly aware of Erik slipping back under the water and returning to the side further from them. As she made her way towards Finn, he swam laps of the width of the pool, only coming up for air each time he hit the wall.
‘I’m not stalking you; I swear,’ Finn said when she drew near. ‘My friend realised we could use this as a shortcut from the lobby to our rooms.’ He nodded towards a tall man with dark hair who was frowning at his phone.
Finn explained he was at the hotel for a leadership seminar—exactly as boring as it sounded, if he was to be believed—and was leaving on Sunday morning.
‘If you’re free tomorrow night, I’d love to grab that drink. But I wanted to say, the offer extends beyond the hotel. In case you’re, uh, otherwise occupied until then.’ His eyes flashed to the other end of the pool, where she could just hear Erik moving through the water. ‘I’d love to meet up again when you’re back in London,’ he continued, scratching the back of his head with a slightly awkward expression. ‘I had a really good time with you that night.’
It had been good. He’d slid onto the stool next to her in a bar, much like he had the night before. He had been pleasant company. Interesting, charming, intelligent. Attractive, obviously. When he had kissed her on the dancefloor, there had been enough of a spark for her to agree to go home with him. The sex had been good. Not earth-shattering, but Finn had been attentive, taking note of how her body responded and giving accordingly. On all fronts, an evening well spent. Until she woke up the next morning, feeling the deep sting of regret in the pit of her stomach.
But that was her issue, not his. And maybe more fun with a handsome not-quite-stranger was exactly what she needed to get over—
‘Abby?’ Finn looked amused.
‘Sorry,’ she muttered. ‘Yeah, yes, a drink sounds great.’ She attempted to inject more enthusiasm into her voice. ‘It’s just, um, lots of family stuff while I’m here? So I’ll let you know.’
His smile widened. ‘Great. Text me when you’re free.’
The water around her rippled gently as Erik slowly made his way back.
‘What did he want?’ His voice held an edge she didn’t like.
‘He invited me for a drink tomorrow night,’ Abby said archly, folding her arms across her chest.
‘What did you say?’ More anger dripped into his voice. It made her shiver, even in the tepid water.
‘I said I’d let him know,’ Abby said, taking a step backward.
Erik followed. She stepped again. He moved half a second later, backing her into the corner of the pool.
‘What’s there to think about? Pretty boy asked you on a date. You should go.’
‘Why do you care?’ Abby narrowed her eyes. ‘You’ve spent every minute of the last two days in my company, so don’t give me that bullshit about being jealous of someone else spending time with your friend ,’ she spat.
‘I don’t care,’ Erik ground out, jaw stiff.
‘Good. Because you don’t get to be pissed about me hanging out with other people. Not when—’ Abby broke off, so close— too close —to breaking the one rule they had. Venturing too near the thing they had vowed never to discuss again.
Something dangerous glinted in those beautiful eyes. Normally soft, deep wells, particularly when he was talking to her, they were now hard steel. ‘When what , Sunshine?’
‘When you weren’t there .’ Her voice came out quiet. She regretted the words immediately, gulping a breath as she tried desperately to swallow them back down.
Erik dragged his bottom lip between his teeth, nodding slowly. He took a final step closer and placed a hand on the pool wall on either side of her, close enough that she could feel the warmth coming off his chest. An almost imperceptible tremble shook his arms. Almost, to anyone but her. Not when Abby was used to noticing everything about him.
‘If you want to go out with him, Sunshine, that’s what you should do. You made it very clear that I have no right to get involved.’ Dipping his head, he leaned in even closer, his hot breath fanning over her ear and neck.
Abby exhaled shakily.
‘If you want to drink with him, if you want to kiss him, if you want to fuck him—again, I’m assuming—go right ahead,’ Erik breathed. He pushed off the wall, floating backwards towards the steps, not noticing or caring that he’d left a quivering mess in his wake. ‘I’m going upstairs. You coming?’
They walked back in silence, breaking it only to mutter goodnight as they escaped into their respective rooms.
Abby peeled off her now sodden dress—she’d thrown it hastily over her dripping body without pausing to dry off—and bikini, leaving them in a heap on the floor as she collapsed into her bed, completely naked. Emotions circled through her.
Rage.
Confusion.
Arousal .
A lot of that last one.
They didn’t fight.
They bickered and teased and sometimes got annoyed, but they certainly didn’t stand chest to chest in a swimming pool, growling at each other. So she’d never experienced Erik vibrating with anger in quite the same way she just had.
Abby stood by what she’d said: he had no right to act territorial and jealous. He had left her , making it clear there was nothing between them. But even though every iota of feminism in her rejected it, she’d be lying if she said his behaviour hadn’t left an ache between her legs. Her nipples were hard, despite the balmy temperature of the room.
She lay there for a while, willing her body to calm down. But flashes of Erik’s chest danced through her mind. Defined muscle rippling as he sliced through the water. Rivulets tracing all the hard lines of him as he came up for air. The memory of the warmth rolling off him had the aching inside her intensifying.
The last time she’d had sex was four months prior, when she had gone home with Finn. That hadn’t been driven by her physical needs. She’d been looking for a mental and emotional distraction, conceding that her body could be the gateway to that. But it had been a long time since she’d wanted .
It had been fine when she’d been in relationships and had a boyfriend to take care of the situation. Despite frequent encouragement from her friends—and romance novels—taking matters into her own hands had never appealed much. The few times she’d done it, the physical satisfaction rarely made up for the feeling of discomfort she was left with.
Abby considered herself extremely sex-positive…on behalf of other people. She’d read just about anything, and listen to her friends’ exploits and experimentation with a full glass of wine, rapt attention, and no judgement. But a person didn’t spend over twelve years in various Religious Education classrooms, attending Sunday school, Catechism and eventually Confirmation classes weekly, without developing complicated feelings around intimacy and desire. And while participating in mostly vanilla sex was something she’d largely made peace with, masturbation—or anything that skewed a little kinky—still frequently left her grappling with guilt.
It was a strong part of the inspiration for her thesis topic. Other women didn’t need to feel the shame around sexual freedom that she did. Perhaps one day she’d even start applying those lessons to her own life.
As the desperate need pulsing through her intensified, she considered that the pangs of conscience might be worth the release she needed. The shifting of the sheets against her heated, sensitised skin was unbearable. Her muscles were throbbing as blood pounded through her body. The barest brush of fingers over her nipples had her gasping loudly, before she quickly clapped one hand over her mouth. She hadn’t determined yet how thick the wall between their bedrooms was. Not very, she suspected.
Still, softer whimpers escaped as she trailed her fingers downwards, trying desperately to keep her mind focused on favourite moments from her books rather than her tall, handsome, well-muscled best friend.
Her hand was slipping over her hip bone when a grunt sounded somewhere beyond her headboard. A grunt that sounded suspiciously like—
No.
He couldn’t be.
Working out. He was probably working out. She’d heard him make those sounds once before, when his athletics coach had prescribed a strength training routine that had him doing an absolutely monstrous number of push-ups. Heat had flooded her body then, too. But she’d been sixteen, sheltered, and not altogether aware of the effects of her hormones.
Now, with his abs a sight that would be seared into her memory forever, she couldn’t stop herself picturing it again. Erik, body as gorgeous as it was now, cycling through his conditioning exercises. Clad only in athletic shorts, instead of the team shirt and sweatpants he’d worn back then. The ongoing grunts made it hard to wipe the image from her mind.
Slipping her hand lower, more whimpers sounded as the pressure finally gave her body some relief, even while she continued to fight the onslaught of Erik intent on occupying her brain. Her skin was slick within seconds, but despite the pleasure coursing through her, she couldn’t get there.
Abby stilled as she recalled the pink toy she’d tossed in her nightstand the previous evening. She’d had no intention of using it, but as a frustrated sob stuck somewhere in her chest, she found herself reaching into her drawer. She needed this. Needed freedom from the tension she’d been carrying.
Oh .
The first brush of the vibrator against her dragged a long, low groan from her lips.
Why had she never done this before?
She was dimly aware of the shower starting, and the sound injected a new visual into her mind’s eye.
Erik.
Naked.
Wet.
The hot spray turning to steam around him.
Finally, she stopped fighting it. Allowed herself to indulge in the idea of him kneeling between her legs. Gathering her hair in a fist while he entered her from behind. That breathtaking smile shining up at her as he slowly fucked her with his fingers on a lazy morning in bed.
The release she was chasing came tantalisingly closer, and she pushed the toy in deeper, back arching as it made her see stars. Utterly lost in sensation, she moaned Erik’s name over and over as she came.
‘Abby, I know you’re pissed at me, but can I please use some of your shamp—’
She let out a small shriek as her head rolled towards the bathroom door, where an Erik straight out of her fantasies stood, water dripping down his flushed skin, a white towel slung dangerously low on his hips, and his eyes widening as he took stock of the sight in front of him.
There was no way of hiding what she’d been doing. Her bare shoulders peeked out the top of her sheets. One leg was bent; the other dangled out the bed. With the writhing she’d been doing, her hair must have been wild. And that telltale buzzing—shit. She moved her hand frantically over the vibrator, desperately seeking the off switch.
‘Fuck, Erik, we spoke about knocking!’
‘Sorry. Shit. Sorry!’ he said quickly, ducking back into the bathroom and slamming the door.