Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Joanna accelerated down the road. She glanced in the rearview mirror, then her side mirrors one at a time. She could feel her heartbeat in her throat. She was anxious about driving to the city for the first time in years. She pulled over to the side of the road, where Gwen waited at her apartment building. Gwen tugged the passenger door open and climbed in.
“Good morning,” she said. “It’s early! I’m not used to it. The sun has barely risen.”
She kissed Joanna on the cheek.
Joanna smiled tightly. “Morning. Buckle up.”
“What’s wrong?” Gwen asked, her smile fading.
“Nothing. Why do you ask?”
“Your words say nothing is wrong, but your face says otherwise. What is it?”
Joanna sighed. “I’m just a little anxious. Let’s not make a big deal about it.”
“Of course you are. I’m sorry—you’ve been doing so well lately that I didn’t think about it. Do you want me to drive instead?”
Joanna shook her head. “I’ve got to do it myself one day. It might as well be today.”
“Good for you!” Gwen declared as she fastened her seat belt. “Would music help?”
“Yes, please,” Joanna replied as she pulled away from the curb.
“Wonderful. I’m in the mood for The Carpenters and some ABBA. How about you?”
“That would be perfect,” Joanna replied. “You can’t go wrong with either one.”
Gwen used her phone to connect to Joanna’s Bluetooth, and music swelled over the speakers. It distracted Joanna from her anxiety almost immediately, and before long, the two of them were singing along to “Dancing Queen” as they careened down the highway.
They stopped in at the university to collect Emily and then at Debbie’s flat to pick her up as well. Finally, they were in the city, the four of them bopping in their seats to “Top of the World.” Joanna was smiling as she navigated the heavy traffic and turned into the underground parking lot beneath the downtown bookshop.
They parked and walked to the elevator, then caught it up to the ground floor of the massive store.
“I’ve never had a book signing before,” Emily said nervously. “What do I do?”
“Just stick with me, kiddo,” Joanna said. “It’s not so scary once you get started. We’re here early. There’s plenty of time to get used to the place.”
They were shown to a small room in the back of the bookshop where they could wait and prepare for the signing. There were three boxes of the cookbook there, ready to be wheeled out to the front of the store. Joanna, Gwen, Debbie and Emily all sat in a row of chairs. Joanna picked up one of the books and flicked through it.
“I’m glad we’re all included this time,” Gwen said.
Debbie arched an eyebrow.
Joanna’s heart fell. “You never said anything…”
Debbie laughed. “We didn’t want to make a big deal about it. Right, Gwen?”
Gwen shrugged. “I’m not making a big deal.”
“We agreed,” Emily added as she crossed her arms.
“You all talked about this?” Joanna asked.
“We didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Gwen replied. “But I think we should say something about it. After all, you’ve had half a dozen interviews now without the rest of us.”
“I don’t think it’s that many.” Joanna’s cheeks felt warm. She pressed her palms to them in an attempt to cool them down.
“Yes, it’s been at least that many,” Debbie replied. “But it’s okay. We understand. You’re really the author. The rest of us only contributed a bit here and there. You’re the big name.”
“I don’t see it that way,” Joanna said, consternation in her voice.
“It’s okay, honey.” Gwen patted her hand. “We’re fine, really.”
“I didn’t know,” Joanna added. “They didn’t tell me. I thought you would all be there.”
“Really?” Emily asked.
“Yes, they didn’t say. I’ve been worried about what you thought, but I want you all to know that I had nothing to do with it. Honestly, it’s been bothering me, but I didn’t want to bring it up in case it caused a problem between us all.” There were red stress blotches on her neck now. She looked down to see them forming at the neckline of her blouse.
“Don’t worry about it. But it is good to know you weren’t aware they would do that.”
“I’ve spoken to our agent already and told her we don’t want to do that again,” Joanna replied. “She’d already booked those interviews and signings, but she says she’s only going to accept events on behalf of all four of us from now on.”
“Thanks, Jo. I appreciate that,” Gwen said.
“Me too,” Emily added. “But it didn’t bother me. Not much, anyway. I’ve been so busy with study and with Aaron, I haven’t had time for more than I’ve already committed to.”
A lady came then to collect them and take them to the front of the shop. There was a table set up for them with a banner announcing their book. Stacks of books were piled on the floor and on the table, along with chairs and pens for each of them. And there was a large poster on the wall behind them with photos from the book as well as individual portraits.
“This looks amazing,” Joanna said.
“It feels so strange to be signing our own books,” Gwen said as she took a seat and straightened her dress.
“We know all of this is because of you,” Debbie said to Joanna. “And we’re grateful for it.”
Joanna blushed. “Thank you, Deb. But you all contributed important content—this book wouldn’t be the same without all of you. Our potlucks wouldn’t be the same without every single person contributing.” Emotion welled up in her throat as she spoke. “I’m so glad you’re all here with me.”
“We feel the same way,” Gwen replied, squeezing her hand. The others nodded in agreement.
They got settled in their seats and chattered about what they might sign in each book and how to do their signature. Joanna gave the others ideas of easy things to write, since it looked as though there would be quite a crowd in the end. There was a line of people waiting, and the line surged around the corner and down through the shopping centre past the movie theatre. Joanna was happy to see how many were there. It was the largest crowd she’d had so far for this book, and she was extremely grateful her friends were with her to experience it.
The first group in the line was an elderly lady with a girl who might be her granddaughter. They stepped forward with a smile. The girl’s eyes were very wide as she handed a copy of the cookbook to Joanna.
“This is Kate,” the woman said. “And she’s a big fan of yours.”
Joanna took the book, then looked at the girl. “Is that so? You like to cook?”
The girl nodded wordlessly.
Joanna wrote a greeting inside the cover. “What’s your favourite recipe?”
“Choc-chip muffins,” the girl said in a small voice.
“That’s one of my favourites too.” Joanna winked at her.
When Joanna finally got home after signing what seemed like hundreds of copies of their cookbook, she wanted to collapse. She had been exhausted by the traffic, the concentration required to find her way to the venue, the many conversations, the line of people and more. Her head pounded, she was thirsty and hungry, and she couldn’t wait to fall into bed.
There was only one problem. She had a guest.
She slipped out of her high heels in the bedroom then padded to the den. Her granddaughter, Eva, lay back in the La-Z-Boy armchair, a pint of ice cream in her lap and a spoon sticking out of her mouth. Her rounded stomach protruded from beneath her crop top. She wore a cardigan and a pair of fluffy socks with sweatpants, and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. On the television screen, a movie played. The volume was up too high, and it hurt Joanna’s ears, exacerbating her already painful headache.
Joanna found the remote and turned it down. “Hello, sweetheart. Did you have a nice day?”
Eva sat up and placed the spoon back into the ice cream. It looked half melted. “Fine.”
“I had my book signing. I hope you remembered. I didn’t want to wake you when I left.”
“Oh? I forgot,” Eva said. “I wondered where you were.”
“Have you called your mother yet?” Eva’s father had left right after she was born, and Karen had remarried a man called Bill. She hadn’t taken his name, instead keeping her maiden name for herself and her children. But he’d adopted them as his own and had been a good father to Eva and Aaron. Karen and Bill deserved to know that Eva was fine, and Joanna had encouraged her to keep them updated. But Eva seemed determined to cut off contact. She’d spent time with Aaron though and seemed to enjoy his company. He’d visited frequently since she arrived and often took her out to the movies, shopping or for milkshakes. When Aaron visited was the only time Eva came alive and laughed in the infectious way she had as a small child.
“Not yet,” she replied. “She knows where to find me.”
“Yes, I understand that,” Joanna said as she moved around the room picking up discarded dishes, plates, cups and rubbish. “But I’m sure she would like to hear from you occasionally, just to know you’re okay and what you’re doing. We’ve got to talk about your plans for the future. You can’t avoid it, you know.”
Eva sighed. “Why can’t I avoid it?”
“Because the baby is coming whether you talk about it or not, and you need a plan. You’re about to become a mother yourself. And then you’ll get to see just how hard it is, and maybe you’ll have a little more patience for your own mother.”
Eva rolled her eyes. “I’m going to be totally different to her.”
“Of course you are, sweetheart. But still, I think it would be nice if you could cut her a little bit of slack. She tries to do what’s best for you.”
“She’s impossible!” Eva declared. “She wants me to fit into her little box of how I should live. And I’m not like her. I can’t live that way.”
Her dark hair fell down around her shoulders as she fussed with the hairband. She pulled it back into a ponytail again, her nose wrinkled with concentration. “You understand, don’t you, Gran?”
“Of course I do, honey.” Joanna patted her on the shoulder. “I get it. You want to keep the baby.”
“Yes, it’s my baby. I’m not giving it up to anyone.”
“Your mother just wants the best for you.”
Eva huffed. “I don’t know why she can’t understand. This baby is part of me. I can’t give it up.”
Joanna sat close to her granddaughter. “I wish the two of you could talk it out. Have you tried telling her how you feel? Really talking to her about it? Not just fighting?”
Eva folded her arms over the top of her bump. “She won’t listen to me. Says I don’t know what’s best because I’m too young. That I’ll ruin my life.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Like I’m out of control. I don’t want her to steamroll me.”
“I can understand that,” Joanna said. “So, do you have a plan?”
“You said I could stay here,” Eva said. She looked up at Joanna, her big brown eyes glistening with tears, but her expression full of determination and anger as though she was challenging Joanna to say no. Then she hesitated. “Right, Gran?”
Joanna didn’t know how to resist her granddaughter. Her heart ached for the girl. She wanted more than anything for Karen and Eva to make amends so Eva could be at home with her family, but she understood that might not happen immediately. She’d have to help them communicate, if that was even possible.
“You can stay here as long as you need to, honey. This is your home.”
Eva gave Joanna a hug. Her cheeks were wet. “Thanks, Gran. I knew you’d help me. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“You’re safe here, honey, and you’re very welcome. Everything is going to be okay.”