Chapter 3
THREE
“What are you doing here?” I gasp, clutching my chest, willing my racing heart to calm as the familiar sound of boot heels scrape across the hardwood floor, drawing closer. The moon and streetlights cast a dim glow through the open blinds as my home invader stops feet from me.
“It’s been four long months.”
“What are you doing here?” I ask a second time, waiting for a real answer.
“I said I missed you, Sweets.”
He did say that—a lot.
“What are you doing here?” In my home, in the middle of the night, sitting on my couch without a single light on, waiting like a creeper.
A ripple of equal parts excitement and unease travels down my spine. Goosebumps sprout across my arms. Shivering, I rub them away as the man before me roughly clears his throat. “You’ve had four months to be pissed and hurt. It’s time to let that shit go. ”
Tears sting my eyes as his words penetrate deeper than they should, jabbing all my soft spots at once like a thousand tiny pinpricks. “You don’t get to decide that,” I whisper, hating that he would even demand such a thing.
He takes a step closer, and I take an even bigger step back. We aren’t doing this. Correction—I’m not doing this.
A grumble percolates in his chest as he advances on me again, and I retreat another step and another until my back presses against the closed door. I grip the cool knob, not knowing if I should rip the door open and run or sob that he’s here. I’ve missed him, even if I hate what he did, even if hearing his voice for the first time in months physically hurts.
His strong front fits against mine as he traps me against the exit with nowhere to run. Two muscular arms brace on either side of my head—the metal of his ring clinks against the wood as the moonlight glints across half of his face.
I tremble.
He growls like an uncaged beast.
I’ve never seen him like this before.
Ever.
I swallow thickly. “Wh-what do you want?”
“You.” He presses his forehead to mine and breathes once, twice. The familiar scent of all that is him, of man and musk, of life and death, suffuses the space between us, taking up all the air in my lungs.
“Colton—” I choke out, wishing he’d stop this madness .
“Let’s go to bed.” The breath of his words fans across my face, causing me to shiver.
No. We can’t go to bed.
I fist my hands down at my sides, refusing to move. “Why are you here?” I ask, my tone stronger than I feel.
The tip of his nose nudges mine. It’s soft and sweet, but it hurts that ache inside my chest. “To sleep,” he whispers, nudging his nose to mine again, his breath a mere wisp upon my lips.
“Another lie,” I croak, as his heart pounds through the cotton of his t-shirt and into my breasts.
A brutal knock resounds at my door, rocking through my spine and the back of my skull.
“Who’s that?” I ask.
“Kali!” Dark roars from the porch. “Open the motherfuckin’ door!”
“We aren’t doin’ this,” I whisper-hiss, shaking my head. “I don’t know what the hell you two are up to, but we aren’t doing this.” I shove Sunshine in the stomach, his hard, muscular stomach, to push him away. He moves a quarter of a damn inch, which is maddening. “Move.” I push him again, and this time, he releases a sigh and does as I say, long enough for me to wheel around and throw open my stupid front door to find my ex-husband panting on my steps, arms crossed over his thick chest, glaring past me at his father standing in my living room.
“Get. Out.” He two-finger points to the older, silver-haired version of him.
Squaring his shoulders, chin held in defiance, Sunshine’s nostrils flare. “Fuck. No.”
Wiping my eyes, I drag a palm down my face in exasperation. “We are not having a pissing contest in my house.”
Dark steps onto the threshold of my doorway but doesn’t break the invisible barrier. “Outside, old man.”
“Why don’t both of you leave so I can go to bed? That sounds splendid.” I sweep my hand toward the exit, hoping Sunshine will do as I say.
Unfortunately, no dice when he slowly unlaces his boots, toes them off, and throws them into a heap by the door to prove some macho point to Dark, all the while staring daggers at his son.
I can’t believe this is happening.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was in the middle of an insane, drug-induced dream. But here they are, giving off some pissed-off-murderous vibes at three in the morning.
“Can’t you take this to Dark’s house?” I reason. “You can tussle like big idiots there.”
They ignore me, and the glaring persists.
Knowing I’m more likely to get through to Sunshine than Dark, I spin around and approach him—like he’s a wild animal—slow and patient. When he finally breaks his stare on Dark and drops his eyes to me, his warm smile is enough to make a woman’s ovaries explode. Taking it further, I cup Sunshine’s unshaven cheeks and force him to maintain eye contact.
Dark curses up an ugly storm at the doorway but doesn’t enter.
“I need you to leave,” I beg.
“Sweets. ”
“You shouldn’t be here. This isn’t okay. I… I don’t forgive you. Please leave. For me.”
Sunshine holds my hands to his face, his palms warm and clammy. “But I’m sorry. I… fuck … I’m sorry.” His eyes squeeze shut as if he’s in physical pain. “I can’t do another day, let alone another fuckin’ month. Not like this.”
“You don’t get to decide that.”
“Let’s go to bed,” he pleads, grabbing my wrists and stepping back, trying to draw me toward my bedroom.
Digging my heels in, I refuse to yield. “No…” I shake off his hold and drop my hands to my sides. “I need you to leave.” To drive my point home, I look over my shoulder toward the exit, where Dark remains, swallowing what little light peeks through the doorway with his hulking form.
Sunshine rubs his forehead. “Sweets. No.”
“Get out of her fuckin’ house, Pops!” Dark roars. If he doesn’t keep it down, the neighbors will call the cops. They don’t like Dark as it is.
Ignoring his son, Sunshine gathers my hands and puts them back on his face. His eyes lock on mine, delving into my soul, blotting out the world around us. “I miss you. I can’t live like this.” His throat bobs.
“You can’t show up here whenever you want, demanding I forgive you or acting like what happened never happened.” My voice is soft.
“Then talk to me, goddammit. Let me fix it.”
“No.”
“Kali. Please. I’m begging you.”
Dark slaps the doorframe. “She doesn’t want you! I fuckin’ told you that already! Get out of her fuckin’ house!”
Why are they here? Why… just why …
Dropping my hands from Sunshine’s face, silent tears trickle down his cheeks as he nods once out of respect, sidesteps me, and collects his boots by the door. Before he leaves, he casts me a single broken glance over his shoulder and sets his spare key on the table by the door, next to the raven with the smudge stick in his mouth. Frowning, Dark bids me a single nod, turns the lock from the inside, and pulls the door shut, effectively locking me inside and protecting me from them as they leave.
Rushing to my kitchen window, I peek through a wooden slat of my blinds and watch them amble back to Dark’s house, side-by-side, no longer on the verge of murdering the other, and I’m… speechless.
Like a creeper, I watch until they disappear.
My fingers tremble from the adrenaline rush.
That was not how I expected today to end.
Shaking my head, I pad to my bedroom right off the kitchen, undress in the attached bathroom, and turn on the shower, hoping the warm water will abate the trembling.
Closing my eyes, the spray pours across my face.
“Then talk to me, goddammit. Let me fix it.” Sunshine’s raw words turn like a broken record in my head.
Talk to him.
What would I say?
What is there to say?
Talk to him?
Why ?
It changes nothing.
A hiccup cry bubbles out of my throat as I drown myself under the water. I press my palm to my stomach as the wretched second pours from my lips, followed by a third.
Why did they have to show up tonight?
Why are they here?
Just yesterday, Tarek said Dad wouldn’t talk to Abby, and now he’s home.
None of this makes any sense.
Fuck.
I miss them.
Just seeing them… seeing Sunshine…
I…
Squeezing my eyes shut until my temples ache, I shake my head to clear it.
No more of this.
No more crying.
I can’t do this.
Today was a great day. It can’t end like this.
On autopilot, I wash my body and hair, and before I register what I’m doing, I’m lying in bed, naked, a towel wrapped around my head.
I stare at the spot next to me, where he slept—a place I can’t bring myself to let Todd taint. We stay at his place if we have overnight dates.
Sliding my hand beneath the covers, I massage the cold spot where his body should be. Even his pillow looks all wrong. There’s no dent where his head lays. No smell of him lingering in the air.
Curling onto my side, facing the vacant side of the mattress, I tug Sunshine’s pillow from its home and hug it tightly against my chest.
It does nothing to lessen the ache there.
“ Tomorrow is a new day ,” I repeat until my lids grow heavy and the sandman pays me a much-needed visit.