Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Squirting lighter fluid into the firepit, Dark dumps everything we collected at Anthony’s to burn. I hand him the stick lighter from the cabin and let him do the honors. Within seconds, the pile goes up in flames as we stand back and enjoy a beer, watching his existence burn.
“This isn’t as satisfying as I’d hoped,” Dark comments, gesturing to the black smoke rising in the middle of the woods with the neck of his beer bottle.
I shrug and slug another mouthful of bitter piss, not the quality stuff from Kali’s place. “But it’s finished.”
Dark offers the neck of his bottle, and we clink in solidarity to a job well done. The rest of Anthony’s place will be packed up by the club's moving company for situations like this. They’re worth their weight in gold.
Refusing to waste the last moments with my son before he rides off to wherever to do whatever, I wrap my arm around his shoulder and pull him into my side. I kiss the asshole’s temple. “I love you.” I squeeze his shoulder twice, on top of his cut, and before I break away, Dark surprises me when he wraps his arm around my back and nudges me with his hip. “Yeah. Love ya, too, Pops.”
“I’ll take good care of our girls,” I vow, speaking about more than just Kali but Lily and Abby, too.
“I know.”
“You do whatever you gotta do. Then come back here when you’re done.” I jerk my chin toward our Sacred Sinner cabin nestled in the woods near town. This is where I store my plastic and other cleaning products I need for my jobs. Many of our brothers use this small, one-bedroom shitbox to lay their heads or lie low when they’re in the area. It’s surrounded by trees, and it’s not easy to find unless you know where to look. Even then, the dirt path is treacherous in the dark. It’s a secret spot. Not even Kali knows about it.
“Don’t worry about me,” Dark comments around a swig of beer.
“Fuck off. You’re my son. I’m always gonna worry about you.” I shove my kid away in jest, and he flashes me a youthful smile, the first I’ve seen in days.
“Yeah. Well, maybe you should be more worried about your grandsons. ‘Cause Fog’s datin’ Lace,” he teases, smiling even broader.
I snicker. “Don’t fuckin’ remind me.”
“And Tarek’s got three girlfriends.”
“Not surprising. Like father like son,” I tease.
“Oh. Fuck you.” Dark barks a laugh, shoves me in the shoulder, and sends me stumbling sideways in the rocks, chuckling at how true it is. The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Though, I can’t say I’ve ever dated three women at once. Maybe Dark gets that from his mother. She could never stick to one man or woman. She was always searching for the next best thing. I was too boring for her. Too even-keeled. Too stable. A total snorefest for wild, untamed women. Honestly, I’m surprised I’m not too dull for Kali.
Dark and I wait out the fire, watching it turn to ash. We drink, we chat, and we don’t leave until the sun sets. Walking our bikes through the woods with only our headlights to lead the way, we stop at the entrance to the road. Side-by-side, we share a smile—a small one. I reach over and clap him on the shoulder, and he does the same in return.
This is it.
Goodbye.
I can feel it down to my bones.
Not forever.
But for a while.
Dark needs to make peace with his choices. His past. His life. He needs to let Kali go. He needs to fix himself. It’s been a long time coming.
We don’t say a word when we rev our engines together, sharing a moment as the stars twinkle above.
That knot in my chest aches when he spares me a final chin lift and a sad smile and turns onto the road opposite home, headed to his salvation.
Watching his taillight glow in the distance, a single tear trickles down my cheek, and my nose stings with the urge to cry. But I won’t…can’t do it. This isn’t a sad moment. This is freedom for us both.
Parenthood, being a single father, raising a boy into a man, is brutal. You fuck up. It’s inevitable. You watch your child fail. You watch them succeed. You watch them go. It’s beautifully heartbreaking. It’s life.
While I understand I added to Dark’s pain by loving his now former wife, I know it’s the best. Kali’s not meant for my son. She’s mine. I know it. She knows it… and eventually, he’ll know it, too.
Clearing my throat, I swipe the dampness from my face with the back of my hand and roll out onto the asphalt, eager to spend time with the one person in the world I’ll forever bow to.
My queen.
I can’t wait to be home.