13. Ashlie
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ASHLIE
“ I t looks the same as the other one, which you didn’t like…” I remind Kayla. She frowns in the illuminated mirror at the frilly A-line gown pinned to her body. White floral wallpaper lines the showroom at Wedded Bliss, with plush ivory carpet throughout. The warm track lighting in the bridal shop casts a glow over her locs that would make her appear angelic if it weren’t for the scowl on her face. This Saturday dress shopping excursion in LA has been much like the last one in San Francisco, except we’ve found my maid of honor gown.
“I thought the silver accents might look better than the all-white.”
“But you didn’t like the shape of the dress … ”
“ Ugh , I know!” Her shoulders slump as she buries her face in her hands. “I’m never going to find it.”
I grip the mauve velvet arms of my chair to stand, my pink taffeta gown making an annoying swish with every step I take toward the pedestal. “That’s not true. We have plenty of time to find something. And if we don’t, you know that man will marry you even if you’re wearing a plastic bag. Hell, he’d probably elope if you told him that’s what you wanted.”
“I know.” She nods, still hiding behind her hands.
I peel them away from her face, making sure she’s looking me in the eye when I ask my next question. “What’s the mental block? You can’t possibly hate every dress here in California. Something else is going on…”
She sighs, her grimace melting into scrunched eyebrows and downturned lips. She needs a break . Pulling her by the hand, I lead her to the velvet sofa on the floor. “What if I’m not good at it?” she asks, scraping her thumbnail with her finger.
“You’re good at everything,” I tease, giggling at her eye roll. “Can you be more specific?”
“The marriage thing. The wife thing. The mom thing.”
“ Are you —?” I gasp, because if this is how I find out she’s knocked up, she’s dead to me.
“ No ! Not pregnant. I’m just saying, I’ve never done this before. What if I’m not good at it?”
“Not good at the thing you’re already doing?” My eyebrows tick up, waiting for her to recognize her fallacy. “Girl, you two have been attached at the hip since you got together. It’s been five years, and he still looks at you like you were crafted straight from the cosmos. None of that is changing when you take his last name.”
“But what if it does?” Tears well in her eyes, and she races to catch them before they trail down her cheeks. “Everything has been so great. What if this changes it all?”
“Hey.” I slide my arm around her shoulders. “Have you talked to Chase about this?”
She shakes her head, a fresh wave of emotion hitching in her throat. “You know him. He’s so excited about the whole process. I don’t want to ruin the experience for him. I’m excited too, I’m just…”
“Scared.” I smile, leaning away to see her face. Kayla and fear of the unknown go together like peanut butter and chocolate. If she can’t see what’s over the hill, she spirals until the horizon is right in her face. It’s no wonder we get along so well. “You need to talk to him. It’ll make you feel better. Promise me?”
Nodding, she swipes her face one last time before getting back on the pedestal. She tortures herself with another glance in the mirror.
“How’s it going?” The bridal shop attendant peeks in to check on us.
“This is not the dress,” Kayla says, shaking her head as she walks toward the dressing room.
“I agree. This one doesn’t give you that ‘glow.’ I have a few more for you to try.”
They disappear through the curtain, and after a couple of minutes, Kayla walks back out in a flowy cream chiffon dress. Long lace sleeves enhance the champagne blossoms clustered across an empire waist. The flowers cascade down the full skirt with simple elegance. She’s beaming from ear to ear, not a tear in sight.
“You’re glowing,” I say, smiling back at her. “Is this the dress?”
She nods quickly. “This is it!”
Kayla seems lighter as we drive to meet the guys for lunch. She’s smiling and joking, and any traces of the fear she presented at the dress shop have disappeared. I guess wedding jitters are normal, even when you’re five years deep in a relationship.
“I’ve been meaning to ask, how’s the grad school application coming along?”
“Oh, it’s not.” I tap my thumbs on the steering wheel casually.
“What do you mean ‘it’s not’?”
“I mean, I haven’t started the application and won’t be going to grad school.”
“ Girl ! Do your parents know?”
“Nope. I’ll tell them when I have to, and not a second before.” With a nervous grin, I slide my eyes over to see her reaction. After the conversation with Hunter, a few more panic attacks, and a pep talk from Willa, I decided it’s not worth it. My parents’ approval isn’t worth my mental health. I just need to work up the courage to tell them.
“They’re so intense; I don’t blame you. But what made you change your mind?”
“Hunter. He told me to stop living for everyone else and do what makes me happy.” Pulling in at Lunch-a-Bunch, I manage to find a spot next to the door.
“Huh…” Kayla makes a face. “I actually agree with my brother about something. Never thought that would happen. Where are the pigs?” She looks up into the sky through her window, making me laugh. “And if you tell him I agreed with something he said, I’ll disown you.”
We walk into the bustling restaurant and, suddenly, I’m nervous. I was sick on Wednesday, which eliminated our regular lunch outing. This will be my first time seeing Hunter since he opened up about his family a week ago. Since we kissed . Seven confusing days where my mind has replayed the soft pressure of his lips on mine. I liked it more than I care to admit.
One drunken kiss can be chalked up to an accidental misstep. I take full responsibility for my loss of inhibition after the club. Kissing him twice, just weeks apart? That’s a choice. And having that brief moment when we locked eyes, and I felt like he wanted it as much as I did—that was the pin being pulled from the grenade. I haven’t stopped thinking about him, despite all my warning sirens blaring.
The guys don’t notice us until we’re right next to the table, the restaurant patio empty enough that their conversation carries in the wind. “So, it’ll just be you as the best man and Trevor as the lone groomsman. Kayla will have Ash and Artie,” Chase explains.
“Trevor is your groomsman?” The pitch of my voice floats higher than normal. Chase nods as he pulls out Kayla’s chair, then pecks a kiss on her cheek. When they embrace, they fall into a torrent of sweet nothings. It’s so cute, I can’t help but wonder when I’ll find that for myself.
Hunter lifts a finger in greeting and reaches over to pull out my chair. When I sit, he leans in and whispers, “I’m sorry about last week. I shouldn’t hav?—”
“Don’t even worry about it,” I whisper back with a smile, relief hitting me in the chest that he wants to sweep this under the rug too. We’re good at pretending .
On his part, I don’t chalk up the misstep to anything other than him being upset and me being present during a moment of weakness. I have no doubt in my mind that whatever spark I felt when he pressed his lips to mine is one-sided. Hunter doesn’t catch feelings, and I very easily do. This is why, no matter how much I liked it, I can’t go there with him. I’d be willingly throwing myself into the center of a bubbling volcano.
“What are you two whispering about over there?” Kayla cocks her head at us.
“Oh, just about how disgustingly cute you two are together.” Hunter makes a playful retching sound while I pretend to dry heave at their PDA. Chase laughs, and Kayla rolls her eyes. “What about Avery and Hadley?” Hunter asks about Chase’s sisters.
“Av is still studying abroad and can’t make it back. Hadley will be the MC slash DJ.”
“She’s actually pretty good.” Kayla nods before taking a sip of water. “She’s excited to be doing something other than standing up on display.”
“Ooh, hear me out! You two could elope, and then none of us have to stand up there on display. Win-win,” Hunter says.
“Nuh-uh, nope. Not after all the time we spent finding that dress. She’s gonna stand up there and be seen by everyone ,” I say.
“You found it, baby?” Chase’s eyes spark as he whips his head over to Kayla. She bites her smile, nodding quickly, and they’re back at it with the kissing and whispering.
“ Great . Look what you started.” Hunter groans. He silently mimics the word baby with a grimaced glare.
“You just said it was cute,” I reply.
“I also said it was disgusting. That preceded the cuteness.”
“You don’t have to watch, ya know,” Chase says without looking at either of us. He’s busy staring at his bride-to-be, who’s studying the menu, shaking her head at the nonsense around her.
“Are we all set for the lodge next week?” Hunter asks, interrupting the love-fueled intensity across the table.
Chase slowly drags his eyes away. “Yep. Check-in is on Tuesday after three. We have the entire property until Saturday checkout at eleven. Did you see the email I sent last week?”
“Forgot.” Hunter shrugs. “And what’s so great about this place? We have to shower in trees or something?”
Kayla and I laugh. Fort Bender is not Hunter’s favorite place. He complains every time we suggest going. I suspect the only reason he hasn’t started this time is because it easily gets him out of having to deal with his mom.
“There’s one shower in one tree, and no one has to use it if they don’t want to. There are regular showers inside. It’s just a gimmick to pull the tourists in,” Kayla explains.
“I mean, I’ll shower outside for all to see if that’s what everyone wants. It can’t be more awkward than watching you two.” The table shakes when Chase kicks Hunter’s foot. I push on his shoulder, and Kayla shoots an icy glare at him, all while he cracks up.
“Boy, no one wants to see you in the shower,” I say.
“Debatable.” He smirks at me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say his eyes lingered a few seconds longer than usual.
I do know better though, and before I can think more about it, he clears his throat and looks at his phone. You see what you want to see, Ash .