18. Ashlie
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ASHLIE
Five Years Ago
The Morning After
I t’s early when I wake at The Bluffs to the sound of phones buzzing—Hunter’s in his pocket and mine on the nightstand. His arm is still draped over me. I don’t think he’s moved all night. I reach for my phone, and even in his sleep, Hunter pulls me back against him. It would be the cutest thing if it weren’t for the all-encompassing dread falling over me.
I crossed a line with him last night that I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t fair to him…or me…or Bryan, for that matter, seeing as we just broke up. Regardless of how electric it felt having Hunter’s lips on mine, and how my body hummed under his touch, last night can’t— won’t —happen again. I wasn’t thinking straight, but being upset is no excuse. Thank God my phone rang when it did, or there would be so much more for me to apologize for.
My phone shows an 11 p.m. call from Bryan, along with a recently missed call and group text from Chase. Why would Chase be calling at five-twenty in the morning ?
Chase
Hey, Kayla needs reinforcements at the diner.
Me
What happened? Is she okay?
Chase
Woke up late for work and she’s panicking. HELP.
I fluff my flattened curls as I scramble out of bed, ignoring the thought of the dry tangles that cotton pillowcase gave me last night. Slipping my jacket over my shoulders, I zip it halfway before moving on to my shoes.
“Ugh, it’s too early.” Hunter groans. “Who’s blowing up my phone?”
“It’s Chase. Kayla needs help. I gotta go.”
Hunter sits with a yawn, squinting at my racing around the room. He taps on his phone before heading down the hall. Mine buzzes again as I wiggle my shoe on my foot.
Hunter
Bruh, really? It’s 5 a.m.
Chase
Just get down here.
Hunter
We’re on our way.
Chase
We? You’re together?
Damn it, Hunter . Scrunching my face, I grab at the pounding in my head. It’s partly from the wine last night, but mostly from the realization that this private complication is about to get a whole lot more public.
What was I thinking ? I don’t jump on top of someone new hours after breaking up with my boyfriend. What kind of person does this make me ? Maybe I am selfish .
I sling my purse over my shoulder and fluff my hair again as I walk from the bedroom. Hunter meets me at the bottom of the stairs—holding out a bottle of water—and we silently hurry to my little red car.
Neither of us speak during the short drive from The Bluffs Estates to Patti’s Place. The music on the radio swirls around the awkward quiet between us, leaving the loose ends flapping wildly in the uncomfortable breeze.
I can’t reach for the door handle fast enough once I park, but Hunter stops me with a hand on my wrist. “Hey, about last night…” He hesitates as I turn to look at him.
“I’m sorry about last night. It shouldn’t have happened.” Shaking my head, I stare at the console.
“But it did happen, so we should probably talk?—”
“Look, Hunter, we don’t need to talk about anything. I was buzzed and upset, and you were just trying to help me feel better. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of that by kissing you…or humping you…”
My words hang in the air as he scratches his jaw, nodding slowly. “Alright, then.”
“Besides, we both know there could never be anything between us. You’re a noncommittal player, and I’m a codependent romantic. We’re polar opposites. Can we just pretend it never happened?”
Blinking a few times, he nods again. “Yeah, consider it forgotten. I won’t mention it again...” He turns to the window. “You might want to cover that spot on your neck, though.”
My eyes widen, and I slam down the visor to see what he’s talking about. In the warm light surrounding the mirror, my mouth drops as I spot the lovely bruising on my collarbone. “ Damn it !” I whine, rubbing vigorously at the spot on my neck like it will erase the last twenty-four hours. “ A fucking hickey ! Why did you do that, Hunter?” I turn to him, and he’s laughing, like this isn’t the most embarrassing thing. Like I’m not walking around with his mark prominently displayed right before we’re supposed to see our very nosy best friends. How is this going to look to them? To my parents? Oh God .
“I don’t know what you’re talking about… Nothing happened last night, remember?” He sets his jaw and stares at me, but I’m too stressed to do anything other than glare back and seethe. Always stirring shit up . He put the hickey right in a spot I can’t cover, just to mess with me . If I never talk to him again, it’ll be too soon.
Chase knocking on my window makes me jump. Hunter gets out of the car, and I try to zip my jacket high enough to hide my neck before following. We stand at the locked entrance of Patti’s Place, waiting for Kayla to open the door. Chase fills us in on what’s happening—a lost phone, no alarm, and a rushed panic—as I peer into the diner windows.
When Kayla makes it outside and explains she has an unscheduled day off, I’m a little relieved I can go straight home. I just want to climb into bed and forget the last twenty-four hours. The three of them are going back and forth about something, but my mind is elsewhere, rehashing everything that happened yesterday.
“I think the better question is why they were together at the ass-crack of dawn,” Chase says.
My stomach drops into my ass.
“We were hanging out and fell asleep.” Hunter kicks at the ground. I stare at the sidewalk, trying to avoid Kayla reading me like a book. If I look at her, she’ll know something happened.
“And that hickey there is a what?” Chase says, pointing at my neck. “Mosquito bite?”
Damn it . I pull my jacket over the spot, wide eyes sliding up to Kayla’s.
“ Spill !” Kayla gasps, looking from me to Hunter and back. The tears burning behind my eyes threaten to roll down my face if I stay here for much longer. Sobbing on the sidewalk would be the cherry on top of a shitty situational sundae.
I jam my fists into my jacket pockets, bouncing on my feet while the anxiety courses through me. “Can we not do this here?” I whine, looking down at my shoes. A tear slips past my defenses and lands on the gravel below.
“Yeah, okay,” she says with a gentle voice. “Give me a ride home?”
Nodding silently, I trudge back to my car and slide into the driver’s seat. As soon as the door latches, I’m lost to the blurry river raging down my cheeks. Almost giving it up to Hunter on the same night I broke up with my boyfriend over the phone? I don’t do things like that. Shit . I really messed everything up last night, and I have no idea how to fix it. Shit . Shit . Shit .