Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
NOW
W ells pulls into one of the few open spaces between Sheriff Joe’s patrol car and a black minivan that looks like it came right from a dealership. Dread coils uncomfortably against my ribs as I look around the full parking lot, at all the cars surrounding us.
“Doesn’t look like it’s a quiet night at June’s,” Wells murmurs, scanning the full lot.
“No,” I agree with a sigh.
He looks at me, resolute. I feel it like a calming balm, settling my nerves. “Layla, we can have dinner,” he says simply. His voice is low and patient with the smallest lilt of supplication. “We can go in there and sit in a booth together and enjoy a goddamn meal.”
I meet his earnest gaze, and I know he’s right. I try to muster some of the confidence that flooded through me when I faced Mom yesterday—but something about facing the whole town feels . . . bigger.
There’s a radical shift occurring here in the static between Wells and me, and though it electrifies my skin and bones and the tempo of my heartbeat, it’s not something anyone would see just from looking at us—not if we can maintain our composure. I’ve been inside June’s Cafe hundreds of times, and just because Jason’s dead it doesn’t mean Wells and I can’t share a dinner. Right?
I look back at the diner—the paint-chipped shutters and hanging red geraniums that sway in the evening breeze—and decide we might as well get this over with. It’s not like Wells and I have anywhere else to go besides the cabin, but I’m not ready to go there again—not yet. I know it’s also important that Wells doesn’t think my nerves have anything to do with a desire to hide him, when it’s really about hiding myself.
Whore .
I’ve tried so hard not to let my mother’s words affect me, but they do. Facing her was a not-so-subtle reminder of the stifling haze that engulfs this town, of the people and the gossip and the judgment . I’m not sure anyone would understand how the late Jason Moore’s perfect girlfriend could fall for his best friend—a Bennett at that.
And I honestly don’t know what to do about it.
I wind my fingers through the ends of my hair, my foot tapping lightly against the mat.
“Look at me, Layla,” Wells says gently. And I do. “No one else matters.”
And I smile, because he’s right. Why do I care what anyone thinks? Wells matters more to me than I ever intended for him to, and the way I feel about him is bigger and louder than some dirty secret.
He deserves to be seen. To know how much he means to me. And I can’t let my mom’s insults get in the way of what makes me happy.
“No one else matters,” I repeat, my cheeks pulling wide. “Come on, let’s go eat.”
I walk close to him through the parking lot, my shoulder brushing against his. And when we get to the door of the diner, I reach to pull his hand in mine. His eyes flash to me, wide and surprised, and I love the way they hold and tell me I’m safe.
Inside, I ask Olivia for a table for two. She nods, grabbing two menus to take us to the only open table in the diner—right in the middle of the room—and halts when she sees our hands clasped together. Her gaze flies up, bounces between us, and then smiles at us in a way that feels real. “Follow me,” she says, grinning.
As we trail her to the table, the soft murmuring of conversations around us dwindles and eventually comes to a screeching halt. I feel everyone’s eyes on us, and it sends a flush crawling up my neck. But I don’t let go of his hand, and he doesn’t let go of mine.
“Wait,” he urges as we reach the table, stepping past me to pull out my chair for me. It’s a small gesture, but one that speaks volumes in this moment. See , I want to tell everyone. See how respectful he is? How eager to do right by me?
“Thank you,” I smile, and I feel the soft brush of his fingers along my neck as he eases me in close to the table.
The room stays silent as we open our menus—as if we don’t already know every option on it—but it doesn’t take long for the whispering to begin.
“. . . Layla Hayes and Wells Bennett . . . ”
“. . . Jason’s best friend?”
“. . . such a disgrace to his memory . . .”
“. . . going to call Lynette right now . . .”
“Hey.” Wells catches my eyes over the top of his menu. He smiles. “We got this.”
I nod as I straighten my back.
“Evenin’,” June greets, her expression warm. “You kids know what you want?”
“Yes ma’am,” Wells answers politely, looking at me to go first.
“I’ll have the cheeseburger and fries, please,” I say. “And a lemonade.”
“Mm,” Wells hums. “That sounds perfect. I’ll do the same.” He hands June our menus and thanks her as she walks away.
“So,” I say, ignoring everyone around us. “Tell me about your family. How have they been doing?”
“Good.” He nods. “Real good. Sawyer is graduating this year. He’s starting to apply to graduate programs for wildlife conservation. Rhett’s been keeping his head down, working a lot at the bar with Kasey. Kasey and Brooks are really busy with the ranch. Melody’s been fighting a lingering virus for the last few weeks so she’s a little worn out. But the boys are good—Liam’s learning to rope.” He smiles. “Says he wants to compete.”
The little boy who chased after Jason’s ball all those years ago flashes in my mind, and I grin. “And your parents?”
“Dad’s still sober.” His smile grows, and then disappears. Like he’s careful with how much emotion to show for it. “Mom’s still proud.”
June comes out with our drinks and, soon after, our burgers. We keep an easy rhythm of conversation as we eat, and by the end of the meal, things feel more normal than I thought possible. Risking a look around, I see Sheriff Joe in the corner with a deputy, both inhaling June’s chicken pot pie like it’s air. Maeve, circled by her three adult children in the corner booth, politely cuts her chicken into tiny pieces before placing each one in her mouth.
Plenty of people are still watching us, but I simply don’t care.
Eventually, Olivia clears our plates and June brings the bill, which Wells insists on paying, and then we’re back in the cold night air.
“You should’ve seen their faces on our way out.” He laughs. “Cowards, all of them.”
“You think so?”
He nods. “I know so. None of them would brazenly walk into that diner like you did tonight. Everyone in this town is so worried about what other people think. None of them are as brave as you, my sunshine girl.”
He pulls me in for a kiss, pressing me against the side of his truck. I bask in the freedom of kissing him so openly, where anyone can see.
“Can I take you back to my place?” he asks, his body thrumming with an obvious desire as he grinds his hips into mine.
“Yes.” I nod. “Please.”
He buries his face in my neck, not quite ready to let me go, and I relish the heat pooling between us.
When we eventually make it to the cabin, he jumps out and says, “Wait here?” over his shoulder, a soft grin growing.
“Out here?” I ask, looking around at the dark ranch. When he nods, I say, “Okay.”
He jogs toward the cabin and slips inside. It’s less than two minutes before he’s back out the door, a stack of thick blankets and pillows in hand. He leads me around the side of the cabin and out toward the mustang pasture, quietly pushing through the gate in the fence line. We keep walking for another fifty yards until he stops, looking around. “This’ll do,” he says to himself.
He lowers the stack of linens into the grass, taking the blanket from the top and spreading it open on the ground. He arranges both pillows and tells me to lie down. When I do, he covers me in the other thick blanket before crawling in next to me, wrapping me tightly in his arms.
“Look,” he says softly, eyes on the sky.
I look up and see thousands of stars, all sparkling in the dark. “Wow,” I say on an exhale. “Do you think he’s up there?”
I don’t even realize what I’ve asked until I do.
Wells stills, and then tightens his hold around me. “Yeah,” he answers. “I do.”
“Do you think he’s mad at us?”
His chin swipes along the top of my scalp as he shakes his head. “No, sunshine,” he murmurs. And I try to let that sink in.
“I hope not,” I whisper.
“I think,” he says, “that Jason isn’t suffering anymore. That whatever struggles he had to bear during his life . . . they’re gone now. He’s at peace. And despite everything, I know he loved us both. So I like to think it would bring him some comfort to know we’ve found the same in each other.”
I turn my head to face him, and he shifts onto his shoulder to look down at me. “Do you think this is only happening because we miss him?” I dare to ask.
He stares at me for a long time before blowing out a soft breath. And then he shakes his head. “I can’t speak for you. I—I don’t know what your feelings are. You’re going to have to find that answer for yourself, but . . .” He trails off, looking away. And I can sense it, the emotional distance he’s creating between us. “I know how I feel.”
The words he spoke only days ago crash back into me.
I’ve loved you every day since the first time I laid eyes on you, Layla Hayes.
I loved Jason. I loved him with my whole heart. And I hated you because I loved you more .
If we do this, it’s going to mean something to me.
I watch his throat roll with a swallow as his eyes skim the trees in the distance. Do I love him? Of course I do , I tell myself. But . . . is it the kind of love that he’s talking about? The kind that’s all-consuming, body and soul? The kind that really means forever?
I want to tell him I’m not sure, that I still have so much to figure out about my life. I’m going back to New York in less than a week—a topic we’ve both been avoiding. I want to tell him that he’ll always be important to me. That what he wants out of life matters .
I taste the words on my tongue, but before I have a chance to say any of them, Wells props himself up on an elbow. “Look,” he says, pointing.
I push up too and follow the line of his extended finger, finding the silhouettes of four horses in the distance. Even under the blanket of night, I recognize the gleaming spots on her back. “Stardust,” I whisper.
“She knows you’re here,” he says. And I wonder if it’s true. If it’s the same bone-deep understanding that lets him know Jason is, too.
I smile as I lean into his shoulder, breathing him in. And when he wraps his arm around me and pulls me in close, I realize that no matter what happens between us, we’ll always have the love we share for them.