TWO
Jaxson
This day might be the death of me.
It might shatter the remaining pieces of my already broken heart.
You won’t find my name on the guest list. I guess you could say I’m crashing, because I wasn’t invited. I shouldn’t be here.
Hell, I’m the last person that should be standing at the back of this church, hidden in the shadows, out of sight. Yet, here I am.
It’s torture, waiting here to watch the love of my life walk down the aisle. Waiting to see if she’s really going to go through with this. The man standing at the altar? He doesn’t belong there. He’s not good enough for her. No man is good enough for her—not even me. Doesn’t change the facts. It should be me standing in his place.
If this is truly the end of us...I have to see it for myself. No matter how much it hurts. I have to hear the words, “I do” come from her beautiful lips. Oh, it’s going to destroy me completely, but maybe that’s what it’ll take for me to be able to let her go. To be able to move on.
It’s not what I want. Not at all. What I want hasn’t mattered for the last two years. Not since the day she walked away from me without a word.
A throat clearing forces me to stop staring at the man standing in my place.
I look to my left to find Holden standing beside me, watching me with a curious expression.
“You really gonna do this to yourself, man?”
I answer with clipped words, “Have to.”
I look around the spacious chapel.
Rows and rows of her family and friends sit, waiting for her to appear through the doors. Oddly, I don’t see anyone here for him. I recognize every single person inside this church. Does he not have any family? Relatives? Friends? How odd.
Several people are watching me, looks of pity in their eyes. Others are curious, surely wondering what I’m doing here. Guess I’m not as out of sight as I thought.
Holden and I keep our conversation hushed. We might be seen, but I’d really rather not be heard. In this small town, people talk. I’ve been the subject of the gossip mill for far too long.
“Jax, it’s her wedding day. This has to be killing you, I know that. But I gotta ask you not to do anything to ruin this for her.”
I lower my head, turning it slightly to look at him from the corner of my eye.
“Was never my intention.”
His expression speaks the words he doesn’t—he doesn’t believe me.
Shame. Would think one of my best friends would know me better than that. I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt Madelyn.
“You have my word, Holden. It’s one of the few things I have left. If this...if he is what she wants—what will make her happy—I’ll walk out of this church without a word.” I almost choke on those syllables. It’s a hard thing to say, even though I mean it with every fiber of my being. “I won’t get in the way of her happiness. That’s all I have ever wanted for her—to be happy. She deserves that much.”
His head tilts as he judges the truth in my words. I’m nothing but honest. As soon as he realizes it—he nods, letting out a sigh of relief.
“You deserve to be happy too.”
“Yeah, well...my happiness is about to walk down the aisle to marry another man.”
“So, I’ll ask again. You really gonna do this to yourself?”
“I need this closure.” I sigh, looking at the asshole at the altar again.
I’m not sure what she sees in this guy.
He looks like a tool standing there. Black tux hanging loose on his thin frame, not quite fitting him right. On the short side for a guy. Dirty blonde hair. Slicked back, gelled to the point that it looks plastic. Toothpaste commercial smile.
He looks like one of those fake ass grooms that you see on the top of wedding cakes.
“Maybe this is what it’ll take. Maybe after this I’ll finally be able to move on. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve spent the last two years thinking that she was gonna come back to me.”
“I get it. I’m here for you, but you already know that.”
Holden squeezes my shoulder and shakes his head before walking away as the music begins to play.
He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Between his flesh and blood, and one of his best friends. I have to remind myself that I’m not the one that put him there—that’s not on me. I can’t imagine it’s a good place to be, not that my current position is any better.
Standing at the back of this church. Hands balled into fists at my sides. Entire body taut with tension. Teeth gritted. Waiting.
Internally battling with myself because part of me wants to hightail it out of this church right now. But no. I have to see this through. I have to be here to witness the moment when all hope is lost.
Until then, I wait.
I watch as Madelyn’s sisters walk down the aisle, one at a time. Camille first. Presley close behind. Both look beautiful in their light pink dresses.
The music changes. It’s time.
I suck in a deep breath, holding it as my fingernails dig into my palms and my body vibrates with unspent tension.
And there she is.
A vision in white on the arm of her father.
My love. My heart. My soul.
My fucking everything .
Such a magnificent sight. She steals the breath from my lungs.
Step by step, she slowly makes her way down the aisle. Dazzling green eyes glistening with tears. Beautiful smile across her painted lips. My eyes stay locked on her the entire time.
Her father leans in when they reach the front of the church to whisper something in her ear. She nods, smiling brighter. With a kiss to her cheek, he gives her away. I release my breath, but my lungs won’t draw in air.
Madelyn turns to him , gracing him with that radiant smile once reserved for only me. She takes his hand and they turn to the minister. My heartbeat stutters.
I die a little inside as the ceremony begins. Every word spoken. Every second that passes. Absolute torture. They exchange vows. My heart splinters when she promises to love, cherish, honor, and obey him until death.
When they’re pronounced husband and wife, I start to lose my composure. The kiss is my breaking point.
The moment that his lips touch hers…
That moment.
My soul...it fucking shatters.
Done. I’m done.
I’ve seen all that I needed to see.