FIVE
Jaxson
I wander aimlessly through town for a while after having my heart ripped from my chest.
I have no desire to go home to an empty house, so eventually, I find myself at my bar. Blackwood Brewhouse is packed, something I’d be proud of any other day. Today, I simply don’t give a fuck. Nothing seems to matter right now.
The future I thought I would have is gone.
I don’t know what I’m going to do now but drowning myself in the bottom of a bottle sounds like a damn good place to start.
I order a drink at the bar, thinking about how I spent the last two years busting my ass to get this bar up and running, turning it into what it is today. Successful. So many long days and lonely nights. Grueling, back-breaking work. I gave it my all. Blood, sweat, and tears. Started turning a profit after the first six months, which is almost unheard of for a new business in a small town like this one. It was all worth it until Madelyn strolled back into town with a diamond ring on her finger and a prick on her arm.
When she walked into my bar, I could tell I was the last person she expected to see. The look in her eyes when she saw me...fuck, just put a knife through my heart. It would hurt less. She looked at me like a stranger. Like we didn’t used to mean everything to each other. Her eyes were empty and cold.
Noah interrupts my thoughts, asking if I want another drink.
I look down at my empty glass, not realizing I’d drained it.
I nod. “Keep ‘em coming, man.”
He knows my story. My demons. The whole town knows my story and before long, I’m sure they’ll know his. Noah came back to town with demons of his own. Left town right after high school, leaving his girl behind. He came back a couple of months ago, but no one knows why. It’s his story to tell when he’s ready. When that happens, everyone will know. That’s the thing about small towns—nothing stays a secret for long. Gossip and rumors spread like wildfire.
I wait for my whiskey, which doesn’t take long. Perks of owning the bar, I guess. I thank him and let him know I’ll be at the private table we keep reserved for family and friends.
I make my way through the crowd and seat myself in the back booth, against the wall, where I have a clear view of the entire bar. Leaning back, I raise the glass to my lips and take a sip, ice clinking against the glass. The voices, laughter, and music fade to white noise as I watch the happy, carefree people.
The Brewhouse has become a regular hangout for the locals, not to mention the business we get from surrounding towns and travelers. Drink specials, parties, and special events are only a few of the things that draw in a crowd. We’re constantly making changes to keep up with the interests and demands of our patrons. One of the things people frequently comment on is the variety of music we play. I like to think that there’s a little something for everyone.
I’m usually working, so the music is just background noise, but I sure as hell hear it when the current song switches over to By the Way by Theory of a Deadman. The lyrics set me on edge, bringing back memories of the day that Madelyn disappeared from my life.
Fuck that. I refuse to let myself fall down that rabbit hole. I’ve suffered enough torture for the day.
I motion for the waitress when my glass is empty again. Not recognizing the cute little blonde that struts over, I immediately come to the conclusion that Holden must have hired her recently. I’ve been in a fog since Mads came back. We could have a whole new staff and I probably wouldn’t notice.
She obviously doesn’t know who I am because she gives me that look. You know, the one that says she’s down to fuck. Ignoring her flirtations, I ask for a refill and request the bottle.
She puts some extra sway into those hips as she leaves the table. I chuckle and shake my head. Won’t do her a damn bit of good. She won’t get what she’s after. The only thing she’ll be getting from me is a nice tip, but she doesn’t have to be extra for that. I know how to treat my employees, which is why a tip is all she’ll be getting. I don’t need a sexual harassment lawsuit.
I didn’t come here tonight looking for company, not that there’s anything stopping me. I’m free agent since the love of my life now has another man’s last name. Fuck, I haven’t touched a woman in two years. Madelyn is the only woman I’ve ever touched. She was my first. My only. I really thought she’d be my last.
Bouncy blonde reappears with a fresh glass and a bottle of my favorite. I notice the extra pep in her step is missing, so I assume Noah told her who I am. I thank her, politely sending her on her way.
I wanted an escape tonight, but it seems escaping my own thoughts is impossible. Sitting here, drowning in a bottle, I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. I’ve spent the last two years on my own, waiting for Madelyn to come back to me. Believing down to my soul that she would. We always said that we belonged together. Were made for each other. Yet...she left me. She skipped town without a word, no fucking explanation. The most fucked up part is that I wouldn’t have even known about our baby if Holden hadn’t gone behind her back to tell me. Guilt ate away at me for the longest time. I blamed myself for the loss. For her leaving. I stopped letting the guilt devour me a while ago. I did nothing wrong. Nothing to deserve her walking away without a goodbye.
Now, I’m sitting here in a bar like a sad, pathetic fuck. Still pining over her while she’s having the time of her life at her wedding reception. Shit, I don’t even know what time it is. Maybe by now she’s laid up in a hotel room somewhere letting that douchebag put his hands all over her. No. Fuck thinking about that.
Fuck thinking about her at all. I’m done.
It’s beyond time to move the fuck on. She has.
She dropped me like I was nothing.
I drown the thoughts of her with another taste of whiskey.
This shit ends tonight.
Too bad the flirty blonde works for me.
My eyes wander around the space. This is new to me. I’ve never had to peruse the selection of women in a bar to decide which one has the most promise. There’s a first time for everything.
The crowd has thinned out a bit in the time I’ve been here, and there are more guys than girls, but I don’t let that deter me. I won’t lie, I have no idea what I’m looking for, but something tells me I’ll know it when I see it. On my second pass around the room, I notice a pretty redhead eyeing me from the bar. Bingo.
I watch her, eyes roaming her body from head to toe. She’s tall, too thin, and dressed like she should be at a club, not a bar. Fake. Everything about her screams fake. Her face is caked with far too much makeup and I’d bet money the drapes don’t match the carpets. Those damn sure aren’t her real tits. She notices me checking her out and her lips tip to a smirk. I raise a brow and smile. Hook.
I catch the waitress’ attention again, making a very specific request when she appears. Moments later, she’s talking to Noah behind the bar to fulfill my request. Noah’s eyes open in surprise and dart to mine, eyebrows raised. I simply nod, then watch as he mixes a Sex on the Beach before delivering it to the pretty redhead. He speaks to her briefly, tipping his head in my direction. Line.
I’m drunk. My favorite amber liquid is making decisions for me tonight, but I don’t care. In the back of my mind, I know I wouldn’t be doing this if I were sober. I might even regret it in the morning, but after two years of fucking nothing but my fist—I’m not thinking of anything except getting off.
There’s no better time than the present and the pretty ginger looks like a sure thing. I’ll make sure she enjoys herself tonight, but it ends there. I have nothing to offer her but a good time. One night is all she’ll get. Fuck relationships. Fuck love.
Love burned me once and it’s not worth this kind of pain. I won’t let it happen again. Does that make me an asshole? Probably. Being the nice guy got me jack shit.
She finally approaches the table, but I don’t stand. I let my eyes roam her body again. Seeing her up close, I confirm that I was right on the money with my first assessment. I’m not sure there’s a single genuine thing about this girl. She’s the opposite of everything that would usually catch my attention. Perfect. Bonus, she’s not a local, so chances are...I’ll never see her again.
I smirk when I meet her eyes because they’re simmering with lust and want.
“Thank you for the drink.” Sinker.
She acts a bit shy as she asks if she can join me. I nod, watching as she maneuvers into the booth in her too-short skirt, her tits practically spilling out of her top. Oh yeah, she’s exactly what I need tonight.
“You’re welcome, Sugar.” I slide a bit closer to her, reaching up to toy with a lock of her hair. “I noticed you from across the room and had to buy the pretty girl a drink.”
She giggles, blushing and lowering her eyes to her lap. I don’t buy into her shy act, not for a second. It’s not even necessary because we’ll both be getting what we want. I take a drink and swallow, licking my lips to catch a stray drop. Her eyes track the movement of my tongue.
Smiling, I lean over to whisper in her ear. “You’re not as shy as you’d like me to believe, Sugar. You wouldn’t have come over if you were. Let’s cut the shit. You’re hot as fuck and I want you.”
She pulls back, her face not hiding her shock.
“Wow. You’re blunt.” She laughs.
Chuckling, I respond, “I see no reason to pretend we don’t want the same thing. The sooner we get out of here, the quicker we both get what we’re after. Feel me?”
Her smile widens, answering my question.
“Then let’s go, Sugar.”
I take her hand, helping her out of the booth, and lead her to the back entrance of the bar. We exit and ascend the stairs outside of the door.
“Where are we going?” She asks but doesn’t hesitate to follow.
“There’s an apartment above the bar.”
I give her no other explanation. She doesn’t need to know I own the bar, or that I lived in the apartment while we did renovations. The apartment became a convenient place for us to crash occasionally when we had late nights. I’d never take a random girl to my home, so the apartment is extremely convenient right now.
Unlocking the door, I lead her inside. As soon as the door closes, I have her pinned against it in the dark. I lean down, running my tongue up her slender neck. I’m already hard and I don’t want to wait, but she has to agree to a few things before this goes any further.
I nibble her earlobe, and murmur into her ear, “Two rules. One night only. No kissing.”
She moans softly, shivering as my breath blows across her sensitive skin.
“Okay,” she agrees.
“That’s all I needed to hear.”
For the rest of the night, words aren’t needed.
Morning brings misery. Pounding headache. Mouth feeling like something died in the desert. I fucking hate hangovers. I start to roll over when I realize I’m not in my bed and I’m not alone. I lift my head and open my eyes to find a naked redhead next to me.
Groaning, I close my eyes and snippets of last night flash through my head. Jesus Christ. How much fucking whiskey did I drink?
I glance at the girl again, noticing her ruined makeup and thoroughly fucked hair. I can’t remember everything, but I do remember that she had a good time. And I was right—the carpets did not match the drapes.
I chuckle quietly, dragging my hands down my face before blowing out a hard breath. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, hearing a crinkle as my feet hit the floor. I look down to see an empty condom wrapper. Fucking hell.
At least I was smart enough to wrap it up.
I stand, making my way to the bathroom. I turn on the shower, then take a piss and brush my teeth before jumping in. I wash quickly, wrapping a towel around my waist when I finish.
She’s still asleep when I exit the bathroom. Doesn’t look like she’s moved an inch. For the life of me, I can’t remember her name. I’m honestly not even sure if I asked for it. Not really an important detail, since I won’t be seeing her again.
With one knee on the bed, I reach over to nudge her awake. “Wake up, Sugar.”
She lets out a little groan, mumbling incoherently. Pretty sure I hear something about five minutes and going again, but I’m not positive.
“I don’t think so. C’mon. Time to get up and go.”
She must hear the annoyance lacing my tone because she rolls over and scoffs. “Seriously?”
“Told you, Sugar. One night. Night’s over.”
She shoots up off the bed, muttering under her breath as she gathers her clothes and shuts herself in the bathroom. I move to the closet, thankful for the extra clothes I keep here in case of emergency. I’d say this qualifies. I pull on a pair of boxer briefs and jeans. I’m slipping a t-shirt over my head when she comes out of the bathroom, fully dressed.
The first thing I notice is that she washed her face. Shame. She’s so much prettier without all that shit she had covering it last night. One of the mysteries of women. I’ll never understand why they think they need makeup.
I lean against the wall with my arms across my chest as I watch her slip on her heels and dig around in her bag for a minute. She turns to look at me, and just when I think she’s going to light into me for being an asshole—she surprises the fuck out of me.
“Despite you being a serious dick this morning...I had a good time.”
She slowly walks up in front of me, rests her hands on my waist, and leans in, but I quickly turn my head. The kiss lands on my cheek instead of my lips. I shoot her a glare when she pulls back.
She shrugs, a casual smile on her face. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.” She slides her hand to my ass, slipping something into my back pocket. “Call me if you ever change the rules.”
With that, she turns and lets herself out.
Change the rules? Not fucking likely.
I pull the slip of paper from my pocket, crumple into a ball without so much as a glance and throw it away. No need for that.
I clean up the mess from last night before locking up and heading out. I hop in my truck, turn the key, and drive.
Only one problem. I have absolutely no idea where to go from here.