TWENTY-ONE
Madelyn
I’m living in hell and I want out.
I was wrong. So unbelievably wrong.
I don’t deserve this. Any of this.
A choice made years ago out of desperation led me to make even more bad decisions. I ignored my heart, ignored my head, ignored every instinct I have. Now I’m paying the price. But I do not deserve it.
Guilt over leaving Jaxson, over blaming him for the loss of our baby, that guilt made me believe I deserve every bit of what was happening to me. Not anymore.
I guess you could say I’ve finally pulled my head out of my ass. I’ve finally stopped wallowing in my own misery. Stopped believing that I deserve the way David treats me. That I’m being punished for the choices I made in the past.
I’m over it. I’m done.
I sit here at our dining room table, drinking my third glass of wine. I need some liquid courage to get through this.
David should be home soon.
Then again, if I know my husband at all, he’ll be late. He’s probably with the woman he’s been screwing. Oddly enough...that doesn’t bother me. The more he’s with her, the less he’s home. If he’s not home—I’m not being yelled at, or hit, or forced to do things that I stopped wanting months ago.
I have no idea who she is. I honestly don’t care.
Part of me wants to find out. If only to warn her about him and his controlling ways, violent tendencies, and anger issues. I’m sure she’ll find out soon enough. She can have him if she wants him. I haven’t considered him my husband in a long time. I’m not sure he ever truly was.
I’m feeling stronger than I have since before we got married. Strong enough to tell David that our marriage is over.
So even though he’s an hour late—I wait.
I’m not moving from this spot until I tell him that I want a divorce.
Two hours later, I finally hear a key turn in the lock.
The front door opens and David struts in, clearly displeased. He kicks off his shoes, drops his keys, and heads straight for me.
Any confidence I had wavers with every step he takes toward me. The expression on his face sends chills down to my bones. The fury in his black eyes pierces through the strength I was feeling only minutes ago, but I do not cower.
The monster I married stands before me, head tilted to the side. Despite the pure rage radiating from his body, he studies me calmly.
“What are you thinking?” he asks.
Pushing back my fear and anxiety, I summon every bit of courage I possess. Head held high, I stare him in the eyes and fight to keep my voice steady when I speak.
“I want a divorce, David.”
Seconds pass with no response.
My entire body jolts when he throws his head back in loud, crazed laughter.
I’m frozen in place, unable to breathe as my heart threatens to beat right out of my chest.
His reaction is terrifying.
His laughter stops abruptly, and he trains his sights on me again. He watches me eerily for a minute before moving closer to me. Squatting between my legs in front of the chair, he looks up at me with a smirk.
“You’re not divorcing me, Madelyn. You promised me forever.”
“And you promised to love and cherish me. Looks like we both lied.”
I attempt to slide the chair back, but he grabs the legs so I can’t move.
“You can’t keep using our vows against me, David. No matter what you think, I’ve never broken a single one.”
Moving his hands from the chair to my legs, he slides them up my thighs. “You don’t obey very well.”
“I don’t want to argue with you, David. I just want out. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take any more of your abuse.” My voice cracks on the last word. It’s hard to admit that’s what’s been happening since we got married, but there’s no avoiding the truth. Saying the actual word only makes it more real. He doesn’t just hit me. He abuses me.
“You’re forgetting the most important part of our vows, wife,” he says, tightening his grip.
“Our vows don’t mean shit! You obliterated everything they stood for the first time you laid a hand on me!”
I’m pushing my luck by raising my voice, I know I am. But I can’t seem to stop the words from pouring out, the emotion flowing right along with them.
“Jesus, David. You hurt me physically, tear me down mentally, you cheat on me all the time. I’ve had enough!”
Pushing off the chair, I manage to force him away from me so I can stand. I want distance, but he doesn’t let me get far. He moves swiftly and the next thing I know, he’s got me against the wall, arms pinned above my head. A sharp pain shoots through my broken arm and I cry out.
Ignoring my cry of pain, he uses his other hand to grab a fistful of my hair, jerking my head back against the wall. He licks my neck before biting down hard enough to draw blood.
“Our vows, Madelyn. I want to hear you repeat them.”
He’s fixated on our useless fucking vows. I’d rather spit in his face than repeat those meaningless words, but he has me at a major disadvantage. It will only be worse for me if I don’t obey , so through tears and broken words, I give him what he wants.
“I, Madelyn, take you, David, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish and obey—”
“Till death do us part.” He finishes.
He pulls his head back and something sinister surfaces in his dark gaze.
My eyes widen in terror. My breath stalls in my lungs.
Chuckling harshly, he runs his nose up my jawline to my ear.
“Nooooow she’s getting it.” He bites my earlobe and whispers, “I will not grant you a divorce, Madelyn. There’s only one way you’re getting out of this marriage.”
He drops my hands like they’re on fire, releases his grip on my hair, and stalks away without looking back. I let out the breath I’ve been holding as the front door slams. Sliding my back down the wall, I drop my ass to the floor and burst into tears. Curling into myself, I cradle my arm and pray he didn’t break it again.
The last year and a half has proven to me that David’s threat is not an empty one.
Any hope I had of getting out of this marriage is gone.
He’ll kill me if I try to leave, but I also fear he’ll kill me if I stay.
There’s a knock on the door before it opens and I look up expecting to see Dr. Stephens, but find myself looking into the face of my brother instead.
“What are you doing here, Holden?”
I didn’t tell anyone about my appointment today, and after last night I was glad because I didn’t want to have to try to explain my worry about re-injuring my arm. It was hard enough to come up with something to tell the doctor.
“Small town, sis. Presley saw you heading this way.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal. “Thought you might want some company. You finally getting your cast off?”
I can’t ask him to leave. It’ll only raise questions I don’t want to answer.
“Hopefully. Dr. Stephens took another set of x-rays to make sure everything healed right. I’m waiting for him to come back in and let me know.”
It’s not a lie. Not really. It’s just not the entire truth. The doctor was set and ready to cut the cast off, but I spun a story and expressed my concern that I may have caused more damage, so he wanted to get an x-ray to be on the safe side. Now I’m nervously waiting for him to come back because I’m not sure how this will play out with my overprotective big brother here.
“Ah. Well hopefully he comes back with good news. I’ll wait with you, and if you’re up for it we can grab some lunch after this.”
Another knock, and Dr. Stephens comes back into the room.
He looks up from the clipboard in his hand and notices Holden in the room.
“Nice to see you again.” He greets Holden, then turns his gaze to me. I shoot him a look, praying I get my point across. I don’t want him to say too much with Holden here. There’s a hard look in his eyes, but he gives me a resigned nod and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Everything looks good, Mrs. Sterling. The bone is fully healed, so we can get this cast off before you go home today.”
“Thank God. I’m so ready to be able to use my arm again.”
“Is there anything she shouldn’t do?” Holden asks. “Any restrictions?”
Dr. Stephens directs his answer to me as he prepares to remove my cast. “You’re free to resume normal activities, but it’s best to ease yourself back into everything. You might notice some stiffness and weakness in your arm, but it’s perfectly normal and to be expected. Before you leave, I’ll show you some simple stretches and exercises that can help”
I nod, acknowledging his response.
“If you don’t have any other questions, we can get this thing off. You can always call if you have any questions or concerns later.”
Not wanting to be here any longer than I have to, I quickly thrust my arm toward him. “Let’s do this.”
He laughs, picking up the small electrical saw.
After quickly explaining how he’ll remove the cast, he gets to work. I watch as he uses the saw to cut through the cast, some tool thingy to spread it open and lift it off, and finally cut through the final layers with scissors.
I wrinkle my nose at the funky smell and both men laugh.
“That’s normal, too. A quick wash will solve that little problem, and everything else will go back to normal soon enough.”
I rub my arm, thankful to finally have that damn thing off my arm.
Dr. Stephens checks over everything one more time, confirming that everything looks good. After a quick demonstration of the stretches and exercises, he leaves us to see his next patient. Holden and I head for the parking lot while we discuss where to go for lunch.
Despite the fact that a big part of me wants to be alone, I know it’s the last thing I need. My mind is still a mess after last night. Spending time with my brother might help keep my mind off the nightmare I call a marriage.