FORTY
Madelyn
I couldn’t believe Dr. Townsend even suggested it.
She’s been my doctor since I was a girl and first needed a “lady doctor.” Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought she would be so nonchalant about suggesting an abortion.
My appointment was supposed to set my mind at ease, but all it did was add to the stress and worry. Thankfully, Jax got me out of there as quickly as he could. He knew. The moment he realized what she was suggesting, he knew it wasn’t something I could ever bring myself to do. If the universe’s plan is to not let me have this baby, the loss will have to happen naturally. I would never willingly make the choice to kill my unborn child, especially when I’m still mourning my losses.
Jax drove us straight home, deposited me into bed, and disappeared outside for a while.
I thought maybe he needed to blow off some steam, but when he came back, he joined me in bed. He pulled me against him, voiced his extremely personal opinion of the doctor, and let me know I had another appointment scheduled outside of Blackwood.
Turns out, he called Dr. Richardson—the surgeon who saved my life—explained our situation to him and asked if he could recommend us to another OB/GYN who wouldn’t have such a singular “professional” opinion. Dr. Richardson gladly provided a recommendation, going as far as calling to get me seen the same day.
Dr. Khaskia is perfect. She’s patient, understanding, and super friendly. We went over my entire medical history. She also expressed concerns about possible complications but was shocked and appalled to hear that terminating the pregnancy was the first thing my previous doctor suggested.
For now, we’re taking things day by day. My appointments will be more frequent than what’s usually required, but my pregnancy is extremely high-risk. I’ll be monitored closely so if any complications do arise, we find a way to deal with them.
Leaving Dr. Khaskia’s office that day, I felt the first stirring of hope since I saw those two little pink lines. With an incredible doctor, a loving and supportive husband, and a game plan, we can do our best to ensure this pregnancy progresses as smoothly as possible.
Now if only I could get my husband to stick to the plan.
The doctor said it was fine if I work. This early in the pregnancy, there isn’t a whole lot I can do to harm the baby. So, she told me to work as long as I felt up to it, although she did warn me to take it easy and listen to my body’s cues.
Jaxson has a different opinion. He doesn’t want me to work. I think all of my worry transferred to him because he heard the doctor’s suggestions and somewhere in his mind it translated to wrapping me in bubble wrap for my entire pregnancy.
“Jaxson, I promise you I will take it easy. I won’t lift a thing. I’ll even take a chair behind the counter and sit if that will make you happy. Hails already thinks I have the flu, so she won’t let me near the food. I’m basically only there to keep her company.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I don’t want to argue with you. I just worry. I want you and the baby to be healthy.” He sighs, crouching down beside me, placing his hand on my lower belly.
“I know that, Jax. And I love you for it, but the doctor said I could work. I can’t sit around the house and do nothing the whole nine months. I’ll go insane.” I lean over and kiss his head. “I want this baby more than anything. I won’t do anything that could put either of us in jeopardy.”
I can tell by the way he’s looking at me that he’s conceding. “Okay, baby. I’ll try to relax and stop being so overprotective. But you have to promise not to overdo it.”
The stern look on his face is adorable, but I hold in my laugh because I know this is really serious. He’s worried and has every right to be.
“I promise. Besides, Hailee has her own shit she’s dealing with right now. I’ll probably end up sitting around all day listening to her drama. I love Drake, but if he doesn’t deal with this shit, I’m gonna kick his ass. Hailee doesn’t need this shit. She’s dealt with enough bullshit in her life.”
“I hear ya, baby. But let’s focus on us, okay? We have more than enough to worry about. We’ll always be here to support our friends, but don’t let their stress turn into your stress, yeah?”
“No worries, honey.”
Chuckling, he rests his head against my belly.
“I love you, Madelyn.” Turning his head, he kisses just below my belly button. “I love you too, little one.”
And I love that my sexy, muscular, tatted husband still makes me swoon.
Morning sickness is a fucking joke.
Whoever gave it its name needs to be sued for fraud, or false advertisement, or something. Ugh. My “morning” sickness is awful. I swear my stomach starts churning right after lunch and doesn’t stop until well into the night. I have never felt so sick in my entire life. Luckily, I’ve only thrown up at work a couple of times, which is why Hailee thinks I have some sort of flu or virus.
If I can’t get this nausea under control, she’s going to know something’s up, and I’m not ready to share the news just yet.
I left work a little early today. The bakery smells were making it impossible to settle my stomach, so I called in some help for Hailee and came home. I stripped down, crawled in bed, and that’s exactly where I am when Jaxson finds me after work.
“Hey, baby. Feeling sick again?” he asks, sliding into bed next to me.
I carefully turn over to face him. “Yeah. This morning sickness shit is for the birds. I don’t know how anyone deals with this. Hell, I didn’t even deal with this during my other pregnancies.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I could make you feel better. Did you work the whole day?”
“No, I left not long after noon. My nausea was terrible, and I can only pass it off as the flu for so long before Hailee starts asking questions.
“You’re sure you don’t want to tell her?” he asks.
“I don’t want to tell anyone yet,” I say, shaking my head. “I mean, yeah I’d love to share our excitement with everyone, but at the same time, I don’t want to get everyone’s hopes up. Just in case. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m also being realistic.”
Jax reaches over and takes my hand, threading our fingers together. “That’s fair. So, we tell everyone after Halloween? You’ll be in the second trimester by then.”
“Sounds like a plan. Sometime after Halloween,” I say, yawning.
Growing a human is exhausting, and I’m only just getting started.
Jaxson leans over to give me a slow, sweet kiss. “Get some rest, baby. I’m gonna go hit up our trusty friend, Google, and see if I can find some things that might help you feel better.”
I thank him, I think. I mean to, but my eyelids grow heavy and I don’t know if I manage to get the words out.