ONE
Camille
You are brave. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are smart. You are worthy.
A simple mantra.
A reminder of my past and everything I’ll never forget.
It’s been my lifeline since that night all those years ago. Since I lost a part of myself. Since I forgot who I am. Since.
I finally believe the truth behind the words, despite the doubt that sometimes creeps in.
For far too long, I let someone else’s harsh words influence my own perception of who I am. A single sentence from his lips led to the destruction of my confidence and self-worth. It’s curious how a few words can be so harmful, leaving a lasting impact.
His unkindness caused me to put on a mask, a facade to hide the truth. I’ve spent six and a half years pretending to be someone I’m not. All to keep up appearances. To keep everyone from questioning anything. To keep my secrets hidden deep.
Because I refused to be a victim. Refused to admit the truth.
Blowing out a long, hard breath, I lift my head and look at my reflection. Bright, emerald eyes full of determination stare back at me as I repeat the mantra out loud.
“You are brave. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are smart. You are worthy,” I tell myself.
Beyond the rapid thump-thump of my heart pounding, the steady whoosh of blood pulsing through my veins, and the heavy breaths in and out of my lungs, I can hear the low thrum of a bassline and the muffled murmurs of the crowd in the bar. It’s those sounds keeping me grounded as I remind myself exactly who I am. No longer will I allow my past to control my future.
“Tonight is all about you.”
I laugh when I realize how ridiculous it is to be standing in a public bathroom, talking to myself in the mirror. Thankfully, the bathroom is empty, so there’s no one around to hear my solo conversation. If there were, they’d probably think I was crazy. Maybe I am. My mind is a clusterfuck of chaos, but that’s nothing new. I won’t let it deter me. I know what I want. My reasons for coming here tonight under the guise of a girls’ night. I won’t let anyone stand in my way.
Especially not myself.
I need this.
So what if I’m a jumbled mess of nerves and anticipation? It’s perfectly normal. I think.
Studying my reflection, I notice the flush in my cheeks. How my midnight blue hair pops with flair under the fluorescent lights. The way my eyes shimmer between my thick, dark lashes. Hair and make-up are on point. I look gorgeous, but my lips could use a touch-up after the couple of drinks I’ve had.
I’m slipping the lipstick tube back into my bag when the bathroom door swings open with a rush of sound.
“Cami!” Macy hollers. “You’re taking too damn long in here, girl. You ain’t gettin’ any prettier, so getcha gorgeous ass back out to the bar! You’re missin’ all the prime, grade A beef! Whew!”
I laugh as she fans herself dramatically. Her “southern” really shows after a few shots and never fails to amuse the hell out of me.
“Okay, I’m comin’,” I say as I shoo her back toward the door. “Go grab me another drink. I’ll meet you out there.”
Wiggling her brows, she smiles. “Mmm. Zane’s fine ass came in a lil’ bit ago. You don’t have to tell me twice!” And with that, she’s gone. The two of them have something going on, have for a while, but neither of them talks about it or gives it a label.
Smoothing down the front of my dress, I take one last look at myself. It’s time to get back out there. I give the girl in the mirror a sexy smile and a flirty wink. I’m ready.
After tonight, my secrets will remain, but I’ll no longer hide.
Everything will be reclaimed.
Confidence. Choices. Body. Worth.
Tonight is all about me.
Slipping onto the empty stool next to Macy, I notice that not only has Zane replaced Noah behind the bar, but my favorite (only) brother-in-law is here now, too. Jaxson greets me with a nod as he listens to Holden go over some numbers.
I tip my head and raise the shot glass in front of me. I quickly down the shot without asking what it is. Big mistake.
“Ugh! That was vile, Macy. What the hell did you just give me?” I ask, practically gagging.
“A Climax. You didn’t enjoy it?”
She says it so seriously, I wonder for a second if she’s high as well as drunk, but her expression slips, and she starts giggling.
“Worst. Climax. Ever. Seriously, Mace. That’s gotta be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.”
“That’s what she said,” Jaxson and Macy say at the same time.
We all crack up, drawing attention from the people around us, but it doesn’t bother me. I’m about to entertain them anyway.
“You guys suck. Give me something that tastes good.”
Jax leans forward, elbows on the bar top. “What do you want?”
I can’t stop the smirk that tips my lips.
“A Wet Pussy.”
I hear a deep chuckle to my right, which only makes my smile wider.
“Seriously?” Jax asks with a sigh. “Don’t you get tired of doing this to me?”
“C’mon. How about a Quick Fuck? Hmm, or maybe a Wet Dream?”
Shaking his head, he says nothing as he starts mixing a drink. I know it’s not any of the ones I mentioned because it’s not in a shot glass. I watch him pour rum, vodka, gin, tequila...shit, is he trying to kill me? He finishes after a couple more bottles, garnishing the bright blue drink with a lemon slice and a cherry before sliding it across the bar.
Brow raised, I ask, “What is this?”
Jax only smirks.
“Seriously, what’s it called?”
“Adios Motherfucker.”
My mouth falls open with a bark of laughter.
Point to Jaxson. This is the first time he’s ever had an actual comeback for my teasing. Without a word, I raise my drink and tip it toward him. A nod to his win in this round. I take a sip, pleasantly surprised. It’s not bad.
Everyone around us who heard our exchange is laughing, but there’s a rich, throaty laugh standing out amongst the rest. A laugh that sends heat coursing through my body. Unable to resist, my eyes drift to my right, searching for the source. I need to see the man who caused my body to react from a simple sound.
He’s easy to find. I couldn’t miss him if I tried.
My gaze meets a pair of steel blue-gray eyes watching me with an intensity I can feel down to my core. Caught off guard by my reaction to him, I suck in a breath, and he smiles like he knows. Deep dimples are nestled at the corners of his mouth and his eyes shine as if they’re holding a secret. Somehow, I manage to drag my eyes from his burning gaze to take in the rest of him.
He’s utterly gorgeous. Light golden-brown hair cropped short on the sides with an inch or so of length on top. A few days’ worth of scruff along his sharp, angled jaw. Strong, wide shoulders tapering down to a slim waist. The sleeves of his gray Henley are rolled up, showing off the corded muscles in his forearms, which are covered in tattoos down to his wrists. Who knew forearms could be so damn sexy? His biceps are muscled, straining against the fabric of his shirt and his thick thighs are encased in dark denim.
When he shifts to face me, I’m once again drawn to his mouth, his thumb running back and forth across his lower lip as he watches my slow perusal. What I wouldn’t give to know what he’s thinking right now. Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I debate on whether I should introduce myself or not. I lift my gaze back to those intense eyes of his. He winks, then that dazzling smile reappears.
This man is sexy as all get out. I’m half-drunk on his smile alone.
Oh yeah. He’s definitely the one.