21. Frankie
TWENTY-ONE
frankie
The promise of summer’s humidity is already in the air on April 18th as the women stand in the open area between buildings at Cape Kennedy. The Spring Fling is scheduled to start in an hour, and they’ve been on site since before dawn, setting up booths, checking the sound of the speakers they’ve rented, and making sure that the signs they’ve painted are hung up straight and are visible as people walk through the area. The doors to the hangars they’re using are wide open, and inside of one, a stage has been set up for Frankie’s little troupe of dancers.
David Huggins, the official photographer at the Cape, has been there with them throughout the morning’s preparations, documenting the ladies as they point out where they want booths set up, get on their hands and knees to tie knots around the sandbags that will hold hundreds of helium balloons in place, and laugh with each other about funny things their children have said or done recently. He follows Frankie into the hangar and snaps a few shots of her up on the stage as she points out changes she’d like made in the lighting and the seating arrangements.
By eleven o’clock, the women have changed from their pedal pusher pants and the handkerchiefs tied around the pink rollers in their hair, and into the sundresses and lipstick that make them look fresh and ready for the big event.
“Here we go, ladies!” Lorraine, Carrie’s co-chair says. She claps her hands with excitement as the gates open and families begin to stream in.
They’ve worked hard to put on an event that feels fun and celebratory, and they’ve all agreed that this is the first time since Kennedy’s assassination nearly five months earlier that they actually feel a sense of joy and excitement in the air. The space program is a big deal for the country, and in Florida, it’s held in the highest esteem. The women want to capitalize on the hometown excitement that Floridians feel about NASA and space travel, and to include people in the build-up to the next launch.
“I want to see a rocket!” a little boy shouts as he runs over to where Barbie is handing out balloons to all the children. The boy’s father follows with a grin on his face and a young girl on his shoulders. He nods at Frankie as he passes by, and she waves at the toddler on her father’s shoulders.
A baby , Frankie thinks, or maybe two . It’s not the first time she’s seen cute kids and thought about having some of her own, but it is the first time that she’s thought about it without trepidation or a tinge of annoyance because her mother has poked and prodded her about it.
“Hi,” Ed says, coming up to Frankie and scooping her into his arms for a dramatic kiss. Frankie laughs as he dips her and she sticks one leg out behind her like the nurse in the famous V-J Day kiss photo.
“Hi yourself,” Frankie says breathlessly. She stands up straight and smooths the front of her dress. Ed is dressed in his orange nylon flight suit, and his hair is combed and gelled into place. He looks terribly handsome, and Frankie leans in close, putting a hand on his chest where an embroidered patch that says MAXWELL is affixed below his collarbone on the right side. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
Ed looks around at the people streaming in through the front gate. “Looks like a raging success to me. You ladies have outdone yourselves.”
All Frankie has done is to choreograph a dance that her young pupils will perform on stage in about an hour and then again at two o’clock that afternoon, but she is proud of it. The kids who have been coming to her dance studio (which she’d christened Mia Perla , in honor of her mother’s pet name for her) are all adorable and eager students, and Frankie is excited to see them on stage with the music playing as they go through the steps of their routines for their parents and the other attendees who’ve shown up today.
“I think having all of the astronauts here really makes the event,” Frankie says. She’s watching as Dave Huggins moves around the area, crouching low and snapping photos of people laughing and having fun against the clear blue sky. It’s a gorgeous, cloudless Florida day, and so far as Frankie can tell, everything is going off without a hitch. One of the astronauts who has already made a trip into orbit is there in a full spacesuit with a helmet, and whenever he takes it off, the children squeal and the women look particularly starry-eyed. He’s already posed for a million photos and signed so many autographs that Frankie is sure his hand must be cramping.
“Whatever it takes to give the program the boost that it deserves,” Ed says, smiling and waving as a group of little boys pauses and looks at him with open awe. “I’m incredibly proud of our work, and of being a part of NASA.”
“Are you?” Frankie asks, turning to him. “Are you still happy here, Ed?” Rather than sounding confrontational, her questions come across as pleading, which is how Frankie feels. “I’ve been so worried that you’re not, and Florida is starting to feel like home.”
Ed looks at his wife searchingly. He takes her hand and leads her away from the milling crowds so that they’re out in the sun, strolling around and looking up at the giant Atlas-Centaur rocket in the distance.
Once they’re away from all the festivities, Ed stops next to a chainlink fence and turns to face her. “You’re happy here?”
Frankie takes both of his hands in hers as a light breeze picks up, brushing a few loose strands of her dark hair against her cheek. She nods. “I am. I love my friends here, and now I have the dance studio…and the weather isn’t half bad,” she jokes.
“Except in July and August.” They smile at one another for a long moment. “I just…” Ed trails off, looking into the distance as he holds his wife’s hands in his. “I’ve worried about being chosen for a mission and leaving you here alone, Frank.”
Frankie looks at her feet and shame floods through her; she’d never wanted Ed to jeopardize his success at NASA in order to cater to her—not for one moment.
“Ed, I wouldn’t let you stay here because of me,” she says softly, finally dragging her eyes up to look at his face. “I agreed to be your teammate, your supporter, your wife—and I take all of those jobs seriously.” An airplane flies overhead and it’s low enough that the rumble of the engines fills the air, forcing Frankie and Ed to be quiet until it passes. “You’ve done everything for me, Ed. You married me when I was broken, sad, unsure of how to go on?—“
“You were never broken,” Ed interrupts her, shaking his head firmly. “Someone might have hurt you, Francesca, but you’re a strong woman, and I never saw you as broken.”
“How did you see me?” Frankie blinks up at him, watching his face.
Ed takes a long, deep breath before he answers. “To be honest, the day we stood at Rockefeller with all those skaters and I proposed to you, I saw you as my ideal woman.”
Frankie gives a huff of disbelieving laughter. “I was no one’s ideal, and I even warned you of that.”
“You did,” Ed agrees. “You did. But that didn’t matter to me. Actually,” he corrects himself, “it mattered to me that someone had hurt you and made you feel the way you did, but all I saw was a woman who both needed and deserved love. And that’s what I wanted to give you. I heard what you said that day, but when I proposed anyway, that was me saying I was ready for the challenge. Ready to be there for you. Ready to be the man you needed me to be.”
“You have,” Frankie says hurriedly, taking a step closer to him and squeezing his hands more tightly. “You absolutely have. You’ve been patient, and loving, and kind. And the fact that you would give up on your dream just to be here for me…” Frankie stares long and hard into her husband’s eyes. “Well, that’s more than any woman could hope for. But I won’t let you, Ed. And I think you can see now that you don’t have to. I’ve come a long way. I’m stronger now.”
“You are, baby,” Ed says, his eyes welling up. “I’m so proud of you. Performing for everyone, opening the dance studio—it’s all amazing to watch.”
“Thank you.” Frankie suddenly feels bashful, even though it’s just her and Ed standing there. Mercifully, the Stardust High School marching band kicks up a ruckus right then, playing across the open land of Cape Kennedy and leaving a trail of drum beats and horns in its wake. Frankie waits until they’ve moved far enough away that they can hear themselves think again. “I want to do right by you, Ed. You deserve that because you’re a good man, and because you’ve always done right by me.”
“I’ve tried, sweetheart. I think you’re one in a million, and I knew the day I hailed that cab for you that I had to get to know you better. I’m so happy that you agreed to be my wife—no matter what your misgivings were at the time—and that you’ve slowly let me in.”
The amount of guilt that Frankie feels over having kept her husband at arms’ length all this time is overwhelming. And the fact that all it took was her parents coming to show her what real love and a good, longstanding marriage looks like, along with a few vivid nightmares of the past to push her towards a path of healing is humbling to her. But she’s grateful—incredibly grateful—to have such loving parents and a husband who signed on for better or worse and truly meant it.
“I want to let you all the way in, Ed. I don’t want to have any secrets between us, and I want to keep being a team forever. You can ask me anything,” she says, swallowing hard and averting her gaze. It won’t be easy to answer the questions he might have after watching her performance, but Ed has shown her over and over that he’s here, that he loves her, that nothing can scare him away. So she’s ready to share it all if that’s what he wants.
“Frankie,” he says, tugging her hands gently and pulling her to him so that their bodies are pressed together there by the fence. The imposing figure of the rocket is in the distance, and the sun is climbing higher in the spring sky. “I don’t need all the details. I know enough. And now you should know that I love you no matter what, and that there’s nothing we can’t conquer together, got it?”
Frankie nods against his chest, her tears wetting the orange material of his flight suit as she wraps her arms around Ed’s torso and buries her face against him, smelling his clean aftershave.
They stay that way for a long moment, just holding each other in the April breeze as the sound of the marching band’s cheerful snare drum rolls through the air around them.
Ed pulls back and looks down on her. “I’d stay here forever just hugging you and looking out at that gorgeous rocket,” he says, nodding at the Atlas-Centaur on the other side of the fence. “But I see Jo over there waving frantically, and I think she wants to get your attention.”
Frankie spins around and her eyes land on Jo. “Oh!” she says, wiping her tears away. “I almost forgot about my performance. I have to get back—the kids are probably in their costumes and wondering where I am.”
Ed pulls her close for one more kiss and then sets her free with a wave. “I’ll be there to watch,” he promises.
Frankie starts to hurry towards the open hangar where the stage and the costumed children are no doubt waiting for her, but she stops and turns back to take one more look at her husband.
Ed. Strong, sure, steady Ed. Her rock. Her beloved. Her astronaut .
Frankie turns and gives him one more wave as she thrusts her arm high in the air. The wind kicks up the skirt of her dress, blowing it all around her as she turns to rush back to the stage.