Chapter 9
Soulara rolled her neck in a circle, trying to rid herself of the strain she had caused. She had been leaning against her workbench, head bent over, ever since she had been granted leave from her father after breakfast.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head all the way back, arms resting against her workbench. Peering up at the perfectly smoothed ceiling, Soulara imagined what the sky looked like up on land. Warmth against her cheeks, the sun’s rays filling the pores on her face and moving straight into her soul.
The warmth against her neck jolted her back to her work studio. Soulara spun around. Her fingers gently wrapped around the stone Milan had given her. It had been an instinct, protecting it against prying eyes. She only dared wear it in here, for fear her father might see it and know she’d been visiting her mother again.
Her heart calmed, a gentleness flowing through her in soft waves. Soulara closed her eyes and eased into the contact with the soul her mother had given her. Opening her eyes, Soulara could see the gentle lines of the gray ray with white speckles along its fins and down its tail. Soulara relaxed instantly. Her companion continued the calming waves.
“Why are you here?” Soulara asked Nylah.
Nylah’s reply was a gentle flap of their wings as they moved closer to Soulara. So far the creature had communicated from a distance, and this change of behavior was unnerving.
Soulara cringed as Nylah reached out with the tip of one wing and touched her cheek. But the touch was gentle and soothing. Soulara closed her eyes, but instead of the darkness she expected to find there, she saw Autumn in the dazzling bright light of sunshine. Her body moving around in their secret meeting space.
But she moved awkwardly.
Stiff.
Agitated.
Soulara bit her lip as she continued to observe.
“Is she okay?” Soulara opened her eyes and stared at Nylah, expecting an answer.
Nylah flipped a fin up and swam away quickly, the sleek lines of their body moving rapidly through the water.
Soulara hesitated, her fluke ready to push her to follow, but her heart and her mind were at war again. This wasn’t because she was desperate to know that Autumn was all right. Not because, despite her inability to make a choice, Autumn was lovely despite being the enemy.
But was she really the enemy?
Not all of her people would agree with all decisions she would eventually be forced to make once she stepped into her inevitable role as queen. That wasn’t what worried Soulara. She didn’t want to be queen. She didn’t want that responsibility. Those few moments of freedom with Autumn, swimming to her little sanctuary, had been exactly what Soulara had longed for years for.
Could Autumn be the same?
Forced into doing what she had to?
Soulara would make similar decisions for her people, and she would expect them to follow. But not blindly. Not without thinking. Not without telling her to shut the fuck up if she was wrong.
Autumn knew what was happening. Autumn was stealing water from other planets—Soulara’s home.
But what was home anyway?
Soulara followed Nylah, refusing to overtake while simultaneously wishing the ray would move faster. As if her wish was her command, Nylah quickened their pace.
Soulara struggled to keep up, swimming in and out of coral reefs and around sharks. She dodged all manner of fish as the water became lighter as the soundings thinned between her and the surface. The water was so bright up here, and Soulara could see for ages. She flipped around one last rock and stopped.
Autumn.
She stood at the edge of the water before falling to her knees, her hands on her legs and her chin drooping. Her dark hair covered her face, making it impossible to see her eyes. Soulara’s throat tightened, and Nylah swam near her before vanishing again.
Soulara had come here for a reason, and while logic told her it was to learn more from the enemy, when she looked at Autumn now, all she saw was a human just as broken as she was. Pushing forward, Soulara breached the surface of the water, the sun’s rays hitting her face instantly.
“Autumn,” Soulara called out. She had no idea what she was going to say beyond that. Everything about Autumn was unknown. Soulara held back her cringe as she breathed the air and it bit in her chest, her magic swirling through her to make that burning sensation vanish all the more quickly.
Autumn jerked her head up, her head tilting to the side, tears streaming down her cheeks. Soulara moved slowly, closer to the edge of the water. The sand against her skin and tail itched, and Soulara moved her magic deeper into her body. Autumn looked so small and insignificant on the edge of the beach—but that wasn’t true at all. Autumn had become so much a part of her world that Soulara couldn’t resist her.
“You came.” Autumn’s voice carried on the faint breeze that tickled the water on Soulara’s cheek.
“Are you okay?” Soulara moved closer to the water’s edge.
Autumn’s steps were long and fast, meeting Soulara before she could get far enough out of the water to transform.
“Am I okay?” Autumn laughed. The sound didn’t ring like joy, and missed her eyes entirely. “No, I’m not okay. They won’t listen. They’re going to kill you, and your people. I’m no one.”
“Breathe. It’s okay,” Soulara said. Her heart wrenched apart. Tracks of salty tears remained on Autumn’s face, and Soulara desperately wanted to kiss the evidence away until she forgot about the hideous truth of their worlds. Because Autumn wasn’t no one.
Nothing could be more untrue than that thought.
Soulara stood up straight, cupping Autumn’s cheeks and looking deeply into her eyes. They were here together, alone, and Soulara should be prying more information from Autumn, not trying to comfort her in her distress.
Soulara focused on Autumn, who was now burying her face into Soulara’s shoulder. Soulara leaned down and kissed the top of Autumn’s head. She closed her eyes and breathed in the deep scent of sunshine and sweat mixed with a heady scent she had no name for other than Autumn.
Everything about this moment was pure, simple.
Autumn needed comfort, compassion. Soulara drew in another deep breath and held onto this simplicity. Could love be simple like this? Could this be more than attraction to something new and shiny? Soulara turned her cheek, a deep breath on her lips as she turned to press their mouths together.
“Get away from her, Princess!” Honour screamed before she disappeared beneath the water.
“Princess?” Autumn let go of Soulara and staggered backward a step. Her eyes were wide with fear. “You’re their princess?”
Pain seared through Soulara’s chest at the way Autumn spoke her title as though it were something vile and disgusting. What more could go wrong between them?
Honour reappeared barely two flukes away from where Autumn and Soulara stood, distance and mistrust increasing the gap between them. That chasm was so wide, so painful. Soulara ached to close the gap, but she had no idea where to even begin.
“Honour.” Soulara ignored Autumn’s question, directing her command at the general. “What are you doing here?”
“I followed you.” Honour gasped for breath, and Soulara cringed. She closed her eyes, directing her magic toward Honour so she could breathe the air of the sky and not the water of the ocean. When Honour seemed more comfortable, Soulara turned slightly, keeping herself between Honour and Autumn. Then she moved into Autumn’s mind, the one place she didn’t want to have to go, and she touched her speech. If they were going to talk, everyone here deserved to know what was said. Soulara followed by giving Honour the same ability. Honour would never question it.
“Autumn has nothing to do with this.” Soulara clenched her fists. This would be the hill she’d die on.
Honour stared hard at Autumn, even though her words were still for Soulara. “She has everything to do with slaughtering our people.”
“What? No.” Autumn spoke up before Soulara could stop her. “I’ve never killed a single person in my life.”
“But you and your people don’t see us as people, do you?” Honour’s accusation clung to the air, thickening with turmoil.
“Soulara.” Autumn turned to Soulara, wide eyes begging to be believed. “I swear I have no idea what she’s talking about.”
“She’s the one who drove that monster, Soulara.” Honour’s eyes were filled with truth. She believed what she was saying, and there would be no changing her mind on that. Soulara didn’t need her magic to tell her that.
“The monster? You mean our water collectors?” Autumn’s face blanched.
Betrayal.
It stung like a knife to Soulara’s chest, twisting back and forth as she gushed torment out for the world to see. Soulara pushed herself farther back from Autumn. She already worked her magic, falling below the surface of the water and making her legs a fluke again.
“What are you talking about?” Soulara asked, her voice cracking, not even years of royal training could hold back.
“No.” Autumn ran her fingers through her hair, her body all but vibrating as she moved from her toes to the heels of her feet and back again. “If she’s talking about the collector that got damaged last week—”
“No. I am talking about the one in the deep soundings. The one where you slaughtered half my kin. But I got your precious friend.” Honour spat the words with the fury and loss that had clouded her mind ever since the attack.
“The damaged collector,” Autumn muttered. Her head shook back and forth as if she wasn’t understanding. Soulara slipped into her mind, seeing the memories flash through her but never settling on the one Honour was speaking of.
Honour pulled a spear from beneath the water and raised it, aiming it toward Autumn’s chest.
“No.” Soulara moved forward again, darting in front of Autumn faster than Honour could have thrown the spear.
Honour still held the shaft in her hand, and her arm remained angled back ready to throw.
“Tell me the truth.” Soulara flicked a look over her shoulder just long enough to catch Autumn’s eye before she turned to see Honour still in her ready pose.
“I was in the deep soundings, with two other collectors.” Autumn swallowed so loudly that Soulara fought the urge to turn around again and check on her. But she suspected not having to look at Soulara’s face might make it easier for Autumn to speak. She stayed connected with Autumn, the memory in Soulara’s mental eye.
“And you killed us!” Honour raged.
“I-I didn’t know,” Autumn whimpered. “I didn’t know what happened. We got hit on the side, and I was slammed against the hull. The next thing I know I woke up in medical at camp. Th-they told me there were fish that got tangled up with the collector’s limbs and some of our people had lost their lives because of the commotion.”
“Fish,” Honour spat, taking one tail flap closer, arm moving the last inch backward to cause a greater and more powerful strike.
“I believe her.” Soulara spread her arms out and stared Honour down. She’d seen it in Autumn’s memory. Everything Autumn said was true, including the lies the other humans told her.
“She’s one of them, Soulara. She’s here to kill our people.”
Is this what war really was? Pitting one against the other and seeing no neutral place where two or more could come together and exist. Soulara’s heart broke. If this was what war and anger and pain did to everyone involved—all sides—what good was it?
“I know.” Soulara heard the gasp from Autumn, but she couldn’t worry about that. Not yet. Not when one wrong move, one wrong word could send that spear directly through Autumn’s chest.
Soulara didn’t know much about the human physiology, but she suspected it would be as deadly a hit as it would for her own people. Honour would make sure of it.
“Then move aside and stop protecting her.”
“I am not protecting her, General.” Soulara straightened as much as she could as her tail curled beneath the shallow water, pushing against the sand.
“She’s our enemy, your highness.”
“Stop.” Soulara begged. “Stop this now. I’m not just your princess, I’m your friend, Honour, and if you truly love our people, you’ll lower that weapon and let me do my job.”
The words stilled the air between them. It took a moment for the reality of what Soulara said to sink into her mind. She wondered how long it might take to register in her heart.
“Of course.” Honour slowly lowered the spear, and it disappeared beneath the surface of the waves. Soulara’s command had been clear even if there were hidden meanings couched in the words.
Soulara wanted to take it back. She hadn’t meant to claim her title with such finality. Yes, they were just words, but words always had power. She had known that before she even knew how to speak. She had claimed her throne for the first time as an adult.
The throne she’d never wanted but was destined to have.
“Autumn.” Soulara slowly rotated, fluke moving her to face Autumn again. “To answer your question, yes, I am the Princess of Reine, my home. I’m not only a princess, but I’m the royal heir and will inherit my kingdom. I don’t speak lightly about your people stealing my water. They’re not welcome here.”
“They don’t believe me that you exist.” Autumn’s cheeks paled, and a small tremor ran through her limbs and body.
“Then help us. Tell us how we can stop them. They’re killing us slowly and quickly,” Soulara begged. Magic danced beneath her skin, eager to be called upon. She could have bewitched Autumn. She could have done that thing Autumn had original accused her of. But she knew in that moment, she couldn’t. Not again.
“We can’t trust her. She can’t help us.” Honour spoke with sharp clear words. The perpetual general talking to their troops.
“Honour, enough!” Soulara snapped. The silence between them was so loud, but Soulara couldn’t tear her eyes from Autumn. She had to know what Autumn was feeling.
“I’ll help if I can,” Autumn whispered.
But her timid voice didn’t fill Soulara with hope. Even if Autumn wanted to help, she wasn’t lying when she said she had no power in her world to make waves. But perhaps she could be used for information.
“Thank you, Autumn.” Soulara had never needed to fall back on her royal training with Autumn. Doing it now broke something fragile and delicate within her. They wouldn’t go back to who they were. The illusion of who Soulara was had been shattered, and Autumn would never see her the same way again.
“Soulara, I swear I didn’t kill anyone.”
Soulara couldn’t answer. She didn’t even know what to say. She stared long and hard into Autumn’s beautiful brown eyes, memorizing the lines of her face, her lips that were so soft and warm and willing, the heat of her skin that was such a contrast to Soulara’s, the softness of her flesh when Soulara had touched her.
Bolstering herself, Soulara turned toward the sea. For a second, she froze, wanting to turn back, wanting to find a way to believe Autumn, to know that somehow this would all work out. But her heart couldn’t come first.
Milan was wrong. She couldn’t follow her heart and protect her people at the same time. That had been exactly what split her parents apart all those years ago. Blinking away the tears, Soulara dove into the water and let it embrace her.
Honour’s presence traveled beside her, but Soulara didn’t make conversation, she didn’t turn her head and meet her general’s eye. The weight on Soulara’s shoulders increased with each flick of her tail.
Nothing would be the same again.