Chapter Two
That chance meeting the day after they arrived in Marietta had solved Aria’s quandary of how she was going to find Ryan and tell him about the baby.
She still had his cell number unless he’d changed it, but she hadn’t wanted to have this conversation over the phone.
She’d thought she’d wind up tracking him down at the hospital, but fate had taken that problem out of her hands.
She wouldn’t have chosen such an abrupt way of telling him he was a father, but it hadn’t been her choice.
Chance, or maybe it was fate, had decided for her.
Aria wanted to kick herself at her first reaction to seeing Ryan.
He was every bit as fascinating as he’d been to her the day she met him—and the day he left Denver.
At the store he’d hardly said anything. She was hopeless.
How could she still want a man who’d walked out of her life without a backward glance?
He hadn’t known about the baby but then, neither had she.
Her periods had never been regular, and they’d used birth control so pregnancy hadn’t entered her mind until she’d gone in for a checkup with her OB/GYN and been told she was pregnant.
Months after the fact. Only after she knew had she looked back and realized she’d had some signs of morning sickness, all of which she’d put down to different reasons.
But the signs hadn’t been blatant enough for her to realize she was pregnant.
Sophie had been getting louder and louder, informing her mother that she was hungry now.
“Mama’s coming, baby,” Aria said, sitting in the rocker with her and opening her blouse.
She’d wondered at first if she’d be able to nurse.
Some women, she knew, couldn’t no matter how hard they tried.
But for her nursing worked like a charm.
Whenever she nursed Sophie a feeling of peace and happiness came over her.
Sophie’s tiny hand grasped her finger while her other one rested on Aria’s breast. Content, Aria smiled at her baby and relaxed.
That is, she relaxed until she started thinking about seeing Ryan again.
He’d probably be angry with her that she hadn’t told him about the baby before now.
Honestly, she’d thought about not ever telling him.
She knew full well that Ryan didn’t want a permanent relationship and that he never stayed in one place for more than a couple of years. A baby screamed permanency.
Once she’d had Sophie and fallen completely in love with her, she knew she couldn’t keep Sophie from Ryan.
He deserved the choice. If he decided to walk away from Sophie without establishing some kind of relationship with her, then he wasn’t the man she thought he was.
As for what she’d do if he did want a relationship with his child, they’d have to figure that out.
She knew one thing, though. She was not letting him back into her heart. One broken heart was enough.
*
Ryan showed up at Aria’s place an hour later, on the dot. Conscious that the child might be sleeping, he knocked quietly on the door.
When she opened it, he was once again struck by how beautiful she was. Motherhood agreed with her.
“Come in,” she said. “I put Sophie down for a nap so we should be able to talk.” She held a baby monitor in her hand. “Let’s go outside so we don’t wake her.”
“Afraid I’ll start yelling?”
She shrugged. “It’s a possibility. I know it’s a shock.”
No kidding. A baby. He had a child with the woman he couldn’t forget.
A part of him was angry that she hadn’t told him until now.
There was no way he’d have left town and left Aria to go through her pregnancy and the birth of the baby on her own.
He followed her outside where there were two metal chairs that had seen better days.
Not to mention, they looked terribly uncomfortable.
“Why didn’t you tell me before I left town? You had to have been pregnant, and pretty far along, by the time I left.”
“I was. But I didn’t know it. In fact, I didn’t know until I was almost five months along.”
He simply stared at her. “How could you not know?”
She glared at him. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
“Fine.” He’d have thought she’d have known before that, but he wasn’t female and he wasn’t an OB. “Why didn’t you let me know once you’d confirmed the pregnancy? I could have helped you. I would have helped you had I known.”
“You’d have moved back to Denver? Or you’d have ‘helped’ me,” she said making air quotes, “long distance?”
He shoved a hand through his hair. “Hell, Aria, I don’t know what I’d have done. How could I? But I know damn well I wouldn’t have left you to have my baby by yourself.”
“There’s no point in rehashing this.”
“It’s not rehashing when you never told me in the first place.”
“I thought about not telling you at all.”
That pissed him off. “Because I’m such a terrible person?”
“Of course not. Ryan, you’ve never stayed in one place more than a year or two since you got out of the army. That doesn’t exactly scream ‘I’m dependable.’”
True, damn it. But he’d never had a baby to consider. “Why did you decide to tell me?”
“Because it was the right thing to do. You deserve a chance to know your child. And she deserves a chance to know her father.”
“Is that why you moved to Marietta?”
“Partly. I quit my job and I wanted a good place to raise my child. I wanted a small town. Plus, it seems like a good place to open my business. Even when you leave, I think it’s going to be what I want.”
When he left. Not if. She wanted a business. Not a job. “What business is that?”
“I’m going to open a nursery.”
Familiar with her apartment in Denver, he said, “You’ve always loved plants. But it seems like an undependable way to support yourself and your baby.”
“I’m well aware. I have money. Enough for start-up and to support Sophie and me for some time.”
He left that alone, though he wondered if she wasn’t being a bit unrealistic. “I have no idea what to pay for child support, but we can figure it out.”
“I didn’t tell you so you’d give me money. I can support my own child.”
“I’m sure you can but I’m her father.” A sudden thought occurred to him. “Am I listed on her birth certificate as her father?” If he wasn’t he damn sure intended to be.
“Yes. I thought about leaving it blank, but I wanted her to know she had a father if it ever came up.”
“Gee, thanks.” She was silent, frowning at him. “I want—no, I need to pay child support.”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
They damn sure would. “Is that what you think of me? That I’d blow off both of you? That I wouldn’t take any responsibility for my own child?”
*
Aria didn’t answer his question. Which was an answer in itself. “Really? If that’s what you think then why in the hell even tell me about her?” He needed a better explanation than the one she’d given.
“I didn’t say that. But honestly, I wasn’t sure.
Think about it, Ryan. You’re the least domestic man I’ve ever met.
You never live in one place for long, you never stick with the same woman for long, you’re the king of no-strings relationships.
I don’t know why you’re that way. I just know that you are.
I couldn’t be sure you’d even acknowledge Sophie, much less want to be involved enough to pay child support.
” She pinned him with a harsh glare. “But I told you because it was the right thing to do. Should I have told you earlier? Maybe. But I didn’t so you’ll just have to deal with it. ”
It shook him. Her opinion of him was spot-on. Everything she’d said was true. Except … “We were together for over two years.”
“Yes, we were. And in all that time we never talked about taking the next step in our relationship. And then you left. Done. Over.”
God, she made him sound like a real bastard. Hell, he was a real bastard. “I didn’t think you cared that I left. You acted like it didn’t matter to you at all.” And she clearly had no idea just how hard it had been to leave her.
“It mattered. But I went into our relationship with my eyes open. And they were still open when it ended.”
He started to say he’d never meant to hurt her. But that would be pointless. He had hurt her. Badly. And he’d been stupidly oblivious to it. Before he could think of what to say he heard the baby fussing over the monitor.
Aria stood. “I need to check on her. If you want to wait, you can sit in the living room. The chairs are more comfortable. I’ll introduce you after she wakes up.”
While he waited Ryan thought about his and Aria’s time together.
Why had he left her? Because he’d been scared.
Scared he’d fall in love with her and that was the one thing he couldn’t do.
Except if he was honest, he had already fallen for her.
So he left before he could get any more involved.
He was too screwed up to have a lasting relationship. He didn’t deserve it.
He was a chickenshit, but he’d had a good reason for the way he felt.
The last time he’d fallen in love she’d been his buddy Connor’s girl.
Until she told Ryan he was the one she wanted.
Unwilling to break Connor’s trust, he’d told her no.
You didn’t do that to a friend. It didn’t matter that Ryan had loved her too.
It didn’t matter that she’d sworn she and Connor were over.
Aria came into the room holding her baby. The baby was beautiful. Absolutely perfect. He could hardly believe he’d had a part in creating her. She smiled at her mother and made cooing sounds. “I didn’t know they smiled this young.”
“I don’t know about other babies, but Sophie definitely smiles. She’s a happy baby. Would you like to hold her?”
“Yes. But I’m a little surprised you’d let me.”
“You’re her father,” she said, as if that explained it.
Maybe it did for her, but he still felt as if he was on probation. Fortunately, he’d been around babies before. Not a lot but enough not to feel completely at sea.
“Why don’t you sit?” Aria said.
He sat in one of the canvas chairs he’d been sitting in before she came in. There was very little furniture in the living room. A couple of fold-up chairs and TV tables. He wondered if her furniture was coming later. Hopefully it was.
Once he sat, she put the baby in his arms, saying: “Sophie, this is Ryan. He’s your father.”
Sophie stared at him with big blue eyes. Dark blue like they hadn’t yet made up their mind what color they were going to be. “Hi, Sophie,” he said quietly. “I’m your dad.”
She smiled at him. His heart squeezed and love came over him in a rush. A love he’d never felt before. Awed. Protective. He looked at Aria. “She’s beautiful.”