Chapter Fifteen
Ryan wanted to make love. Not have sex, or fuck, or any of the other ways to say it. And she didn’t have the heart to correct him. So she pulled his head down and kissed him. “Yes,” she whispered.
“In my bedroom,” he said. “In my bed.”
She rolled off him and got to her feet. He stood, scooped her up into his arms, and started for his bedroom. Was she making a mistake? Was she being fair to him when he wanted to make love and she still wasn’t sure what she wanted?
She wanted him. For as long as she could have him. Whether he stayed or not, she could have this time with him and her baby. Even if everything fell apart later, she’d have this time to love him.
He set her on her feet beside the bed. He stripped off his shirt and she pulled her own off over her head.
She started to unzip her jeans but he stopped her.
“We don’t have to rush.” He undid her bra and flung it away.
Filled his hands with her bare breasts. “God, I’ve missed this, missed you so much.
” He bent his head and licked her nipple then pulled it into his mouth to suck on it, caressing her other breast as he did so.
She let her head fall back and reveled in the sensations he was causing. Her hands went to his chest. Slipped over his lovely muscles, slid down to his jeans and his heavy erection she could feel beneath his pants. “Take these off.”
He stopped playing with her breasts and said, “You first.”
“Same time.”
They both stripped out of the remainder of their clothes. He took her down to the bed, holding her in his arms as he kissed her mouth with sensual intent.
How could she have forgotten how he made her feel?
She hadn’t. She’d simply buried all those thoughts and feelings because she’d thought never to have them again.
But here she was, in his bed, about to make love.
Whether it was a mistake or not, she didn’t care.
She wanted him, needed him in a way she hadn’t allowed herself in a long time. If ever.
She put her hand on his cock and stroked it. He groaned. “God, that feels so …”
“Good?”
“What’s better than good? That’s how you feel in my arms. Like you belong here.”
*
Aria froze in his arms. Her hand dropped away from where she was stroking him. “Aria, I didn’t mean—”
She interrupted him by placing her fingers on his lips. “Never mind,” she whispered. “Just kiss me.”
Which, of course, he did. Damn, he’d almost fucked up. He hadn’t meant to crowd her. He suspected they’d be having a talk later. But for now he simply wanted to love her, make love to her, make her come screaming his name.
Or not screaming. But he was determined to make sure she enjoyed it.
His hand slipped down, over her stomach, beneath the tiny panties she still wore.
Pushed a finger inside her and felt her clamp around it.
He continued to kiss her. Added another finger and she moaned.
“Am I hurting you?” It suddenly occurred to him she’d told him she hadn’t had sex since before he left Denver. Not since she’d had the baby.
Aria rocked her hips up and tightened around his fingers. “Hmm. No, it feels so good.”
He left her lips and moved down to her breasts, taking the tightly furled nipples into his mouth and sucking. She’d always liked that in the past. From the sounds she made, she still did. He continued playing with her, adding his thumb to torment her clit.
“Oh my God. If you don’t come inside me … just do it.”
“I think there are condoms in the drawer on your side of the bed.”
She reached in and pulled out the box. The unopened box. “You haven’t used any. How long have you had it?”
“Since before I moved.” He took her hand and kissed it. “I don’t want anyone but you. I never have. Not since I met you.”
She smiled. “I have an IUD. They’re very dependable.” She tossed the box over her shoulder, laid back, and opened her arms and legs to him. “Come here.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. He slid inside her. Tried to, anyway. She was tight, and swollen, and he had to go carefully until his cock was fully seated inside her. He’d never had sex without a condom. Not once. Not even when he lost his virginity. But Aria had still gotten pregnant.
As the pace became more frantic, all thought fled. He was simply a mass of feelings. They rolled and he laid on his back with Aria on top of him. She took one of his hands and placed it on her breast. Then she began to ride.
She looked magnificent. Her head was thrown back, her long, dark hair cascading down her back, her lips wet and swollen from his kisses. A wanton goddess. Damn, he really was a goner, but that was what she made him think of.
Then he couldn’t think at all. He thrust up into her once, twice, and the third time he exploded, hearing her come too as she cried out his name.
Aria collapsed on his chest. He was still inside her and never wanted to move.
She started to roll off, but he put his hands on her hips to stop her. “Stay.”
“I’m squashing you.”
He smiled. “Baby, you couldn’t squash me if you tried.”
“Hmm.” She didn’t move and, just when he’d about fallen asleep, they heard Sophie. The baby monitor was in the den, but they could hear her clearly without it. The apartment wasn’t that big.
Aria rolled off him, stood, then bent to pick up his T-shirt. A moment later she’d disappeared into the bathroom. She came out wearing his shirt. Shoving a hand through her disheveled hair, she said, “She might be hungry so it could take a while.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“Meet me there when you’re ready.”
He went to the bathroom and cleaned up, then yanked on his jeans, not bothering with a shirt. As he walked through the den, he heard Aria talking to the baby over the monitor. “You don’t like that wet diaper, do you? Mommy’s almost done and then we’ll get you a bottle.”
“I can go get it,” Ryan said from the doorway.
“Okay, thanks.”
When he came back she was sitting in the rocker, holding the baby. After handing her the bottle, he sat on the bed and watched her feed Sophie. “I thought I’d never have this.”
“Have what?”
“You and Sophie. A family.”
“Ryan—”
He held up a hand. “I know you don’t trust me yet. And why should you? But I can be patient.” He debated whether to say it, then decided why the hell not. “I love you, you know. You and Sophie.”
*
Oh, God. She wanted that to be true, so badly. It wasn’t as if she didn’t believe him. At least, she believed he thought he loved them. That he thought he’d loved her before yet he’d still left her. Left her because he was falling in love with her. And she had Sophie to think about now.
“I know you think you do.”
He frowned but he didn’t argue. “Obviously I’ll have to prove it to you. And I will.”
“You can’t force it, Ryan.”
“Force what? Trust?”
She nodded. “Trust. Love. I don’t want to hurt you. But we need to get something straight.”
He rose and walked over to her. “I know what you’re going to say. This is still just physical between us and you aren’t sure it will ever be more.”
“Yes.” She wished she didn’t need to be so wary of him, but she had no choice. Whatever happened between them, Sophie needed her father and Aria wasn’t about to do anything to screw up that relationship.
He didn’t seem angry. Or even upset. On the one hand that made her happy but on the other she couldn’t figure him out. He ran his knuckles over her cheek. “Will you do something for me?”
“Depends on what it is.”
“Keep an open mind about you and me.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah. That’s it.”
“I’ll try.”
He leaned down and kissed her. She kissed him back, wishing being here like this with him and Sophie didn’t feel so right.
But it did. Oh, it did.
“She’s asleep.” Aria got up and took the baby to the crib, laying her on her back. Leaning on the rails, she gazed at Sophie. “She’s so beautiful.”
Ryan came to stand beside her. He put his arm around her and hugged her. “She’s perfect.”
Aria leaned her head against his shoulder. “She really is.”
They stood that way for a long time, content to watch their baby sleep.
*
Ryan knew better than to push Aria. He wanted to, though. But he held back as much as he could with her being in his bed every night she spent at his apartment. Aria and Sophie would be going home soon, though. The floors must be close to being finished and then they’d return to their house.
Without him.
He figured he’d be spending some nights with them anyway. Now that he and Aria had finally made love again, he wasn’t about to give it up. He didn’t believe Aria was either. So he’d essentially be living in two places. His place when he was working and hers the rest of the time.
Unless she changed her mind.
He didn’t see why she would. They got along great.
The baby loved him. Not as much as she loved her mom, but he knew that was common at this age.
Aria hadn’t told him she loved him, and honestly, he wasn’t sure she did.
Did that bother him? Yes, but what could he do about it beyond showing her she could depend on him?
A few women—mostly from the hospital—didn’t realize he was in a committed relationship, but he always told them when they asked.
And it didn’t happen nearly as often as it had in the past, before Aria and Sophie moved to Marietta.
Before long it should be all over town and the hospital that he and Aria and Sophie were a unit.
He tried to be patient but it was hard. He’d really done a number on Aria when he left Denver. Obviously, he hadn’t known or even suspected about the baby, but he’d left her and never tried to keep in touch. Not once in all that time.
Which was the dumbest thing he’d ever done.
What in the hell else had he needed to help him believe that Aria was the one for him?
He hadn’t wanted to date anyone else, much less have sex with anyone.
He’d gone on some dates, sure. But they’d been at best pleasant, and not something he cared about repeating.
So why hadn’t he called her? Did he think those feelings were just going to go away?
Yeah. Like that had happened.
He’d screwed up. But he hoped not irreparably.