18. Chapter Eighteen
18
Wren
Ryker smiles at me when I walk back over to him, and I eye the dress draped over his arm with a small smile. “Thinking about getting yourself something nice?”
He rolls his eyes at me, but smiles playfully before handing the garment over. “It’s for you.”
The brown material feels silky between my fingers, and I blink in surprise at it. “No, I can’t let you buy me something.”
“And if I want to do that?”
“You really shouldn’t,” I say breathlessly, even though the notion has my stomach erupting with butterflies.
“Probably not, but I’m going to anyway.” Without another word, Ryker saunters up to the counter and places the beautiful dress onto it while I follow his trail slowly.
Him buying me something has to mean something, right?
I mentally curse at myself and shake my head. I’m overthinking it – he’s only trying to be nice, and I’m imagining it because of my own dangerous feelings.
After he brought me to release, more than once, I still couldn’t get over the realization I had in the middle of everything. There’s no possible way I could be falling for him, not when he’s only here temporarily and doesn’t get along with the majority of my family. It would be stupid to act on those feelings, yet I feel this strong desire to do so as I watch the woman behind the counter eye him appreciatively.
If it weren’t for me being his therapist, I’d claw her damn eyes out right now.
“Thank you,” Ryker says softly as she hands him the bag with the dress he paid for himself.
“There’s no chance I’m allowed to give you the money back, is there?”
He shakes his head and smiles. “Nope.”
When I step up to the counter, the girl is still staring intently at Ryker, and I clear my throat in annoyance. “Excuse me?”
She snaps out of whatever daze he managed to leave her in and chuckles. “Sorry, it’s been a very long day.”
I glance at the time on my phone and frown. It’s barely noon, and she’s talking about it being a long day. I call bullshit.
Ryker is waiting patiently for me outside the boutique, leaning casually against one of the posts planted outside, and I eye him like he’s a bucket of candy. I need to get a hold of myself, that’s for sure.
“On to the next,” I say excitedly before quickly turning to the left and starting toward the other end of the district.
I’ve been here on a few occasions, mainly with my mother because she insists on coming here when an event is coming up, and it’s exciting to be back after a while. The last time we were here was when I’d just finished college and needed an outfit for my first interview. Now I’ve got a new memory for the place when Ryker goes back to New York.
Ryker clears his throat. “I was thinking we could grab something to eat later, if you don’t mind.” He shakes the bag in his hand that has the dress inside. “You could wear this if you want?”
Is asking me out on an actual date?
For a few moments, I don’t answer, convincing myself that I’m still imagining things, and he runs a hand through his hair nervously. “Okay, maybe that was a bad idea.” He shakes his head and frowns. “I’ve got no clue what I’m doing, just forget I said anything.”
My mind finally processes that this is really happening, and I pull him to a stop before he gets too far away. “No, hold on.” He looks at me expectantly, and I smile. “I think dinner sounds great, actually. It’ll be nice to get some use out of the new dress.”
His shoulders relax immediately to my answer and he nods. “Cool. Where are we headed next?”
There’s another small shop that I want to visit. They’ve had this gorgeous purse on sale since last week that I’ve been dying to get, but a woman with her phone pointed at us has me pausing. She grins, looks up at us, then quickly darts the other way, and my stomach sinks.
She got a picture of us.
How happy do I look in it? Are we standing too close to each other? Were we looking at each other like a therapist and client would?
Everything is spinning as I try to catch my breath and thoughts, so I glance around to see if there’s a secluded area that Ryker and I can escape to. There’s a few food trucks cluttered together, with an opening between them that leads to the back, and I pull Ryker in the direction of it before someone else decides to take a picture.
Ryker’s breathing heavily when we come to a stop and he frowns at me. “Wren, what’s wrong?”
I rub my fingers against my temple, wishing I could turn back time and tell Ryker that going out in public together would be a bad idea – that’s not an option in this universe, though.
“They saw us,” I whisper.
“What are you talking about?”
“There was a woman. She looked right at us after holding her phone up, and then she ran in the opposite direction when she caught me staring at her.” I shake my head. Ryker saw us. She captured us standing together.”
This is bad.
“Wren, baby, I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath and calm down.”
“Calm down?” I ask. “How could I possibly calm down when there’s a chance everything I’ve worked for is going to be jeopardized?”
“You’re right, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you haven’t taken a breath, and your face is turning red. I need you to breathe.”
He’s right.
The damage is done; there’s no reason for me to freak out when the inevitable happens—exactly what I pictured happening as soon as we started this thing together.
“How can we make sure the picture doesn’t get spread? Surely, you’ve got someone on stand-by for stuff like this.”
Ryker frowns. “That would only bring more attention to us, don’t you think?”
“Maybe,” I say with a heavy sigh, then slowly let my head fall into my hands. “I don’t know.”
I’m thrown off when he reaches forward and pulls me against his chest, a strong arm circling around my frame and into a warm hug. He doesn’t say anything; he just holds me while I let all the negative thoughts slowly disappear. Only when he’s sure I’m better does he pull away and look into my eyes.
Even knowing how tough things are about to get for us, I can’t help but fall harder for him at this moment. His calmness is a testament to how much he’s changed since coming here, and I’m proud of him.
He leans forward and brushes his lips against mine. It’s soft at first, like one of those kisses that feel as though you’ve been doing it with the person all your life, but it quickly turns into something more as he pushes me back against the food truck behind me.
It steals the breath from my lungs and has my head growing fuzzy. Although I shouldn’t let him, Ryker presses his hands into my hips and drags them up the length of my stomach beneath the shirt I’m wearing. I suck in a breath when he brings it around my waist, at the small of my back, then grazes it over my thigh before pulling that leg tight around his waist.
This is not a position I want to be caught in with him, yet I can’t seem to stop the moment even if I know it’s what I should be doing.
Everything has gotten out of control with him. He’s burrowing himself deeper and deeper into my system, and I know there’s no escaping it. Somehow, I know that if I would even try, he’d be right there to pull me back to where I belong – at his side.
No, I can’t be at his side. I’m his wellness coach. That’s all I should be.
I’m hearing myself but not making a move to get away from him as he trails his lips down to my jawline and along the curve of my throat. Tingles skate their way down my spine, and I shift my hips into him, feeling his hard length against me, before closing my eyes.
Before things get too heated, Ryker pulls away and looks at me with heat in his eyes. “This is no place for what I want to do to you. I want you all to myself, but there are too many people who can catch us.”
My brain is still short-circuiting from the kiss as I let him pull me in the direction of where we parked, already eager to finish what we started.
I shouldn’t be eager. We should be having a very necessary conversation where we talk about how we will slow things down and put distance between us. The moment he threads his fingers through mine, though, after we both get into the car, I know distance is going to be nearly impossible when it comes to him.
There’s tension in the air that crackles with electricity, just waiting to be cut when we get home, and it has me fidgeting in my seat as he pulls onto the highway. I try to put all my focus out the window, watching the cars pass us by, but I’m keenly aware of the way he runs small circles along my thigh.
He’s still got his fingers threaded through mine as he does this, making the action more intimate than it should be, and I wonder what’s going through his head. Ryker didn’t seem as worried as I was about the picture being leaked, but is that because it’s not his career that will be in jeopardy in the long run?
Is this all a game to him?
Maybe he’s too focused on himself, and I’m getting blinded by the good guy act he’s putting on.
No, he wouldn’t do that to me.
I blow out a rough breath, which in turn causes Ryker to give my thigh a gentle squeeze of reassurance, and he clears his throat. “Are you okay?”
“Aside from the possibility of losing my job? I’m great,” I mumble.
“We’ll figure it out, alright?” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, and I guess it’s not for him. His career will never be ruined, and no one will ever think poorly of him. “Maybe they didn’t take a picture of us, and you’re thinking too much about it.”
Maybe he’s right, and my mind is playing tricks on me, seeing things that aren’t there.
“Right.”
“Let’s go somewhere less crowded tonight. Get your mind straight. Does that sound okay?”
“Sure.”
If I’m being truthful, there’s not much that I want to do right now. Going back to his place feels odd, knowing that this could be the last time I walk through the front door, and going anywhere else with him feels like I’m just begging to ruin my life.
Either way, I lose this battle.
My shoulders slump forward in relief as he removes his hand from my thigh and puts both onto the steering wheel – at least, this gives me some much-needed breathing room. I can think much straighter when he’s not touching me, but I don't miss the voice in my head silently begging him to put his hand back on me.
This should be fun.