21. Chapter Twenty-One
21
Ryker
I’d love to say I’m excited when I step off the private jet, the New York cityscape standing tall around me, but all I feel is disdain and longing.
Longing for the woman who should still be by my side but lost back in Arizona because my manager thought he could control my life. I’ve never been as upset with Mack as I am the moment I step onto the fresh pavement.
Brent lifts from the back of an SUV, a sad smile offered at me as he makes his way over, and although I’d love nothing more than to smile back, I can’t bring myself to do it. He pulls me into a quick hug with one arm, clapping my back playfully as he pulls away, and then he leads me toward the waiting vehicle.
I stop short, desperate to know if I’m going to have a confrontation with Mack right this second, and Brent seems to realize the lack of my presence beside him as he comes to a stop as well. He arches a brow, asking me a silent question, and I glare at the back of the SUV without saying a word.
Brent sighs, runs a hand through his hair, and then shakes his head. “He’s not here, said he would meet us at the penthouse because he’s in the middle of something else.”
Since becoming our manager, our band isn’t the only one Mack has gotten to manage. I’m not going to lie and say he’s a terrible employee or does a terrible job with us, but he’s shown me his true self, the need he has to control us in a way I don’t appreciate.
With Wren’s career, I understood why she needed to be fired as my wellness coach and sent away, but for him to have been keeping tabs on me the way he was? That’s unacceptable and only makes me wonder how much he’s done it to the rest of us behind our backs.
I can’t take the chance that he’s also doing the same to Brent and Evan.
“Cool,” I mumble, then continue my slow pace toward the car.
Hearing the horns honking throughout the city used to be what I loved most, but it only reminds me that I’m not close to Wren anymore. I may never be again if Mack gets his way – which he won’t.
I’ve had an entire plane ride to decide what I’m going to do, and I’ve got a feeling that not a single person is going to like it.
Brent clears his throat when we slip into the back seat and shut our doors. “So, wanna talk to me about what’s going on, man?”
This is my best friend. I should be ecstatic to tell him everything, but forming the words he wants to hear is only going to make me feel worse, so I shake my head instead. If he wants to know what’s going on, he can hear me say my piece to Mack back at the penthouse.
The closer we get to our place, the more I wish I’d stayed back in Arizona.
Mack wasn’t giving me a choice any longer, though – either I was getting on the private jet as soon as it landed, or he’d come down himself and ruin Wren’s life. I'm not sure what the ethics are on that, but I was too depleted from Wren’s departure to test Mack with his threat.
After being able to think long and hard about all the time I spent in Arizona, especially with Wren, I’ve come to a very clear conclusion that everyone needs to hear at once. One that could change the way they look at me.
“You should talk to someone about it,” Brent says softly next to me as we make the turn onto our street. “I’ve always been here for you, man, you know that. Whatever you say to me, I won’t tell another soul.”
“I fell in love with her,” I grind out.
He blinks, silently observing me for any signs of lying, and I cock a brow at him before pushing out of the car before it’s even parked. “Happy?”
That’s a question more voiced to myself since Brent is still frozen in the back seat, but it doesn’t take long for him to come rushing after me and pulling me to a stop.
“What do you mean?”
“My wellness coach,” I say. “I fell in love with her.”
“You’re bonded to her. That’s all this is, man.”
I blink and glare at him. “Is that what Mack is trying to convince everyone? That she bonded with me, then took advantage of my emotional state?”
When Brent doesn’t give me an answer, I know I’ve hit the nail on the head, and that forces anger to burn up inside of me. Without another word, I storm through the front entrance of the complex without sparing a glance at anyone else walking by, then punch the elevator button like it did something wrong to me.
“Ryker, man, I don’t think he meant anything wrong by it.”
I scoff and glance at my best friend. “You sure about that?”
“I’m sure he’ll explain everything when he meets with us, we’ve got a lot to discuss and that includes when we can start the tour back up.”
I’m beyond stressed at this point, getting burnt out and I’ve barely been back in the city. The last thing I want to be worrying about right now is when we are going on tour, how long we’ll be on it, or the many cities we’ll be visiting along the way.
I don’t want to deal with overly eager fans trying to claw their way toward us, knowing that none of them are who I want to be touching me in the first place.
When I don’t answer Brent, he relaxes against the wall of the elevator, and I know it’s because he thinks I’m on the same side as him – he’s got no clue how wrong he is right now. Depending on what Mack has to say when he walks through our front door, there’s a chance they’ll all see how wrong they are.
This morning, as I got onto the plane, I wanted to call Wren and share my piece with her—even if she didn’t answer—but I wasn’t able to get that out.
Mack changed my number and then blocked me from being able to contact Wren at all.
Just another way he’s controlling us.
The entire reason I went to Arizona was because of my anger, how quickly I’ve always been to lash out, but the moment I got to know Wren a little more, I can’t remember the last time I felt anger as white-hot as I did after that realization.
I can’t begin to imagine the pain Wren is feeling at all the harsh comments in every article I’ve found about her. Everyone is feeling sorry for me because they think she took advantage of me, just like Mack has probably convinced everyone around us to believe, and it’s taking everything inside of me not to lash out at every single person in existence.
I’ve got to understand their concern, though. It’s not like everyone could see how mine and Wren’s relationship came to be. They don’t realize she doesn’t deserve this hostility – it should all be directed at me.
She didn’t want to do anything, but I couldn’t leave her alone.
This is on me, not her, but that’s not how the world wants to see it when you’re a famous rockstar.
Evan is leaning back on the couch when we walk into the house, immediately standing up when I get into the room. He looks at me like I’m a different person, and I shift under his uncomfortable stare, not liking the new attention on me.
“Are you an idiot?” Evan mutters.
I guess it was wishful thinking that someone would be on my side with everything. Although Brent does seem like he wants to believe my side of the story over Mack’s – I guess that’s got to count for something in the grand scheme of things.
Not enough for me to stick around the two of them while we wait for Mack to get over here.
Instead of answering Evan, like he’s probably expecting me to do, I push past him and head upstairs to my part of the house. I’m sure once Mack makes his grand entrance I’ll be able to hear him, no matter how loud I choose to play my music once I get into my room.
As I make my way upstairs, I can hear Brent and Evan whispering to each other angrily about me, but I ignore it.
I wish I could ignore it all right now.
***
Two hours later, there’s a pounding that echoes through my room and I roll my eyes before pressing the power button on my bluetooth speaker. I’m not surprised to find a fuming Mack standing outside my door, and it’s even more predictable when he spins on his heels and starts down the hall without saying a word.
He expects me to blindly follow him.
If there wasn’t a need to get my voice heard, I’d slam my door shut and pout like a teenage kid because that’s the kind of person Mack makes me want to act like.
Brent and Evan are sitting on the couch, looking as uncomfortable as ever, while Mack paces back and forth in front of the TV with his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest. When I make the last step down, Mack’s beady eyes snap to mine, and he shakes his head.
“You’ve got a huge mess for me to clean up now, do you know that?”
“Then I guess it’s a good thing it’s part of your job description,” I mutter, that anger already sliding back up my spine like a long-lost friend.
If Wren were here she would be able to calm me down in an instant.
She’s not, though.
“You have an interview tomorrow, where you’ll sob those crocodile tears in front of the camera and talk about how that therapist took advantage of your mental state, got it?”
“No,” I state calmly.
He blinks as if he didn’t hear me right and shakes his head. “Excuse me?”
“I said no. I’m not going to lie to the entire world and make Wren look bad.”
My bandmates lean forward at my response, invested in it now that I’m getting my truth out there, and I sigh. “You can act like she did something wrong, but it was never her. I’m the one who initiated anything, and I fell in love with her.”
Mack chuckles and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you kidding me? This has bullshit written all over it, kid, but that’s what I’m here to help you with.”
That stress I had got to put in the back of mind while I was in Arizona rushes right back to the surface and I clear my throat before looking at my best friends. “I’m quitting the band.”
It was a tough decision to make, but in the long run, I care more about Wren than I do about continuing a career that will only tear her down and hurt my mental state.
“Woah, woah, hold on now, kid,” Macks says gently, much different than the tone he’s been using with me. “We don’t have to do something so drastic.”
“I’m done, and you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore,” I snap at him, then I look at the guys sitting in front of me with a frown. “You guys are my best friends, but this is what I need to do – what I want to do. It’s time for me to take a real break and figure my life out without the fame getting in my way.”
When Mack leaves, I’ll explain my issues with Mack to them, and they can decide what to do next. Hopefully, they'll make the right decision.
Brent stares at me for a moment, likely trying to think of a way to change my mind but realizes after studying me long enough that there’s no point – I’ve made it up.
… and I’m going to get my girl back.