Chapter 22Zane
22
Zane
I truly believed that Monroe would trust me after what we did in my special room, but she’s refused to answer my questions about the flash drive, even two full weeks after I brought her to my house. How can she not trust me?
I’ve given her everything, and yet she continues to avoid me. It’s only gotten worse. She’s been distant, and I haven’t been home much to address her behavior.
Maybe she’s getting stir crazy in the house. It’s literally making her sick to be at home all the time. She’s ran to the bathroom twice when we were having breakfast to throw up, but she’s refused to have a doctor come here to check on her.
It’s frustrating, but I haven’t been given the push I need to confront her until today.
Kiro has come up with a full report on Maksim. It includes weapons trafficking locations, the names of several of his key associates, and a key date and time that potentially spells the end of his resurgence.
All I really need to seal the deal and ensure we all walk away from this with much more money in our pockets and much less weight on our shoulders is the data from that flash drive. As everything comes to a head, the only thing that appears to stand in my way is a small but ferocious woman named Monroe.
And Jesus, I’m crazy about her, but that doesn’t mean I can abandon everything I’ve worked for just so she can drag this flash drive debacle out for an eternity. It’s time to confront her, but I’m going to wait until after my meeting with Kiro. I want to know everything before I pull the trigger and potentially blow everything up in my face.
I pass Monroe in the library on my way out to meet with Kiro at a local bar. It’s owned by the Bratva, so nobody is going to be compromised there, but Monroe doesn’t like it when I come back smelling like booze and cigar smoke. She says it’s unhealthy, but I’m not sure why she would be concerned about my health.
She’s reading a new book when I poke my head into the library, something I’m unfamiliar with because it’s out of the dust jacket. It’s blue with gold lettering on the spine, but I can’t make out the title from this distance.
Whatever it is, she doesn’t feel comfortable with me knowing. She slams it shut the moment she sees me, tucking it under another book on the table beside her before jumping to her feet. “Zane,” she exclaims, and she sounds slightly out of breath. “Are you… are you going somewhere?”
“Perhaps,” I reply, stepping fully into the room and examining her. The more I look, the more I realize she’s been caught doing something she doesn’t want me to know about. She has the same flushed cheeks and big eyes as when I caught her snooping.
What is she up to this time? I’d like to know before I leave.
Monroe sidesteps in front of the table she put her book on, pursing her lips in what appears to be an attempt at a smile. It’s far from genuine, though, and I have to stifle an eye roll. Does she think I’m stupid?
“Where are you going? I hope it’s not something to do with Maksim again,” she says. Her words sound scripted, like she recited them in her head a few times before finally saying them.
I shake my head. “No, I’m meeting with Kiro. And what are you doing?”
She shrugs. “Just some reading.”
“About what?” I ask, trying to look behind her at the table.
She looks over her shoulder, shifting again to make sure her book is hidden from view. “Um, it’s just some book I picked off the shelf. Sometimes I do that, you know, when I’m bored. I’ll just pick a random book and start flipping through it.”
I step toward her, and her expression drops. “Let me see the book,” I say, my voice deep in my chest. “I want to know what you’re reading.”
She swallows hard, reaching behind her and pulling the top one from the stack. It’s not the same one she was reading.
I glare at her as she holds it out to me. “Please, Monroe, let’s not pretend like I’m an idiot. Show me the book you were reading.”
“It’s just a book,” she says sheepishly, putting the decoy one back.
“Right, so show it to me.”
She sighs, grabbing the blue book with the gold lettering. “I was just curious, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with that,” she says as she hands it to me.
I read the title out loud. “Child development stages.”
She gives me a guilty look, and my heart skips a beat. I’m holding the book in my hand, looking down at the gold lettering, but it feels like I’m looking at it through a telescope from a hundred miles away. My throat is dry, and my hands are clammy. This isn't happening.
I blink hard, and I can feel my heart pounding in my ears. A wave of heat rushes over me, and it's like I'm burning up from the inside.
"What does this mean?" I ask, my voice coming out shaky.
"What do you mean?" she asks, furrowing her brow. "What does the book mean? I told you, I was just curious."
I scoff, shaking my head. "No, you're lying to me and I don't like it. You're reading a book about children, which means you're pregnant."
Her eyes widen, and she looks surprised, but I know better. She's not shocked that I discovered the truth so quickly.
"Monroe, you're pregnant with my child," I growl. "Why did you hide this from me? Where has your trust gone? Have I not proven to you that you can trust me?"
"I'm not pregnant," she blurts, but guilt is painted all over her face.
"Yes, you are," I insist, tossing the book onto the table. "You're a terrible liar, Monroe. Now, tell me the truth. Why are you reading a book about child development? How long have you known?"
"I don't know anything," she replies, shaking her head as tears come to her eyes. "I haven't taken a test yet. It's possible I'm not even pregnant."
She might still be in denial, but I'm not. It all adds up. We've been having sex without a condom for weeks, and now she's starting to feel sick int he morning. She refused a doctor because she was scared of what they'd tell her. Of what they'd tell me, more likely. She doesn't want me to know that I'm going to be a father, and it breaks my heart.
What do I have to do to gain her trust? I've tried everything, and yet I've failed. It makes me feel like less of a man, not worthy of her affection.
"I can take a test," Monroe says softly, putting her hand on my arm. “I was scared. You understand, Zane. This is all very new to me, and I’m terrified of what it means for my future. For our future.”
“Have you even considered our future?” I ask, unable to hide the anger in my voice. “Or are you just saying that so I don’t freak out?”
“It’s all I think about, Zane,” she insists.
I raise me hand, and she flinches. “Oh, but you’re still scared of me? You think I would hurt you, after everything I’ve done to protect you? I’ve been beyond patient with you, even with millions of dollars on the line, and this is how you react. I’m disappointed.”
“You’re disappointed?” she asks angrily, taking a step back and bumping into the table. “I should be the one who is disappointed, Zane. You took me from my life, and now you act like I owe you something. But I don’t owe you anything. Not the flash drive data, not my love, and not the baby if I have one.”
“Don’t say that,” I growl, grabbing her arm and pulling her toward me. “The only person I want is you. I won’t let you leave. I don’t care about the flash drive anymore if it means I lose you.”
She dissolves against me, sobbing into my chest. “I didn’t mean it,” she says between sobs. “I wanted to tell you so bad. I’m sorry.”
I feel like the bad guy now, but that’s who I’ve always been. I’m too tough on her when she needs me to be soft. I don’t know how to be anything else, and it’s no wonder she doesn’t trust me.
“Don’t apologize,” I say, holding her shoulders as she cries. “Look at me. Don’t apologize. I’m the one who needs to say sorry. I’ve been far too hard on you. That’s not what you deserve.”
She looks up at me, her beautiful eyes glistening with a mixture of sorry and hope. It hurts me deeply to see her sad like this, and even more so because I know I’m the cause of it. I should be better. I have to be.
“I think I should take a pregnancy test so we know for sure,” Monroe says, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I think that’s the best thing to do.”
I nod slowly. “I agree, but just know that I support you either way. We’re in this together now, whatever happens.”
Her lips twitch upward in a smile. This time, it’s genuine. “Thank you. I needed to hear that. I think it’s time we talked about something else, too. Something very important.”
I pull my head back, confused as to what she’s talking about. “What is it?” I ask.
Her smile fades, and her eyes become serious. “The flash drive. I wasn’t lying when I said I know what’s on it.”