Chapter Twenty-Five
CAMILA
On Monday, I returned to my newest work routine, which now included spending the day listening to snide remarks from my coworkers.
The highlight came during lunch, when two women from my department sat at the table next to mine in the cafeteria and started gossiping about a supposed acquaintance who had gained workplace privileges by seducing the boss.
I had to take about thirty deep breaths not to throw my lunch at them.
Back at the office, I finished all my work for the day and waited for the end of my shift to pack up and leave.
I took a crowded elevator down, overhearing a few more comments about gold diggers along the way, until I reached the ground floor.
There, I made a point of walking slowly, letting everyone else exit ahead of me.
But as I approached the building’s exit, I noticed someone waiting for me.
I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, but my heart sped up the moment I spotted Michael Turner standing there—looking ridiculously handsome in his designer suit and, most disarming of all, flashing a smile the second he saw me.
Hell of a temptation .
I hesitated for a moment, half-stopping on my tracks, but quickly forced myself to keep walking, coming to a halt just a few feet away from him.
“I was waiting for you,” he confirmed my suspicions.
So, I forced myself to remember the fact that we weren't truly committed, and that there had to be a reason for him waiting.
“Did something happen?” I asked worriedly.
I figured he might have some last-minute social engagement and needed my company to keep up appearances.
All just for appearances, that had to be made clear in my mind.
“No. I just wanted to confirm with you that everything is okay for Saturday and take the opportunity to take you home. It looks a bit bad for the boss's fiancée to be leaving on the subway.”
Of course... it would look bad ...
All for appearances and for the plan.
But what did I think? That he might be concerned about my comfort and well-being? Or, worse: that he was interested in my company?
“All set. But you don't need to worry about taking me home. I live fifteen minutes away.”
“One more reason why this is no concern to me. Come on, come on, my car is right there in front.”
He motioned for me to follow him, and I did. The car was indeed right in front of the building, and he opened the door for me to get in, which made me initially make a mental note that he was a gentleman.
Only to correct myself moments later. He was a charmer. And even if that wasn't his intention with me, some quirks weren't easily lost.
When he also got in and started the vehicle, he started talking, “So, we haven't seen each other for a few days, huh? Since...”
He hesitated and I added, “Since you were shocked to find out that I'm still a virgin.”
“I was going to say 'since we went to the hotel to investigate what happened that night', but... that also serves as an explanation. Oh, but I wasn't shocked. In fact, I thought it was... cool.”
The word used to describe it caught my attention.
“Cool?”
“Yeah. This thing about deciding to wait until marriage and all that... I wouldn't do it under any circumstances, but it's interesting to those who would do it.”
Well, that wasn't exactly my case. And it was none of his business, either, but even so, before I knew it, I was already explaining more than I should have.
“I never really planned on waiting for marriage or anything like that.
The truth is that I was always too focused on my studies and, later, on my work.
.. and on taking care of my grandmother and helping her with the bookstore.
Because of that, I had few relationships, and they all lasted very little, I didn't feel confident enough to go to bed with any of them. That's all.”
“I see.”
He didn't. And I knew that very well. A man like him, used to waking up every day next to a different woman, had no way of understanding.
Still, I, again, decided to explain, “I don't think that the first time necessarily has to be with someone you expect to spend your whole life with, someone you love for the rest of your life or something like that. But I always wanted it to be with someone I felt a sense of safety and connection with, you know? Of course, with the whole issue of desire involved, but not only that.”
“In this case, then, could this thing about safety and connection be replaced by a high dose of alcohol?”
It was a joke, and normally, I would’ve snapped back irritably. But I no longer felt the need to keep up that defensive posture around Michael. It was strange, but I already felt comfortable having with him the kind of conversations I usually only shared with Evelyn or, at most, Layla.
Did that mean we had become friends?
“That’s what almost happened that night, wasn’t it?” I replied. “I’m glad it didn’t happen. I was a little terrified to think that I could have lost my virginity to someone I barely knew and, worse, who had no memory of it at all.”
It was strange to think about, but now I realized that maybe it hadn’t just been desire and alcohol speaking that night.
Sure, the drinks had definitely helped strip away all inhibition (and common sense), but.
.. I think that even in just a few hours of conversation, I had felt a sense of safety and connection with Michael Turner.
Maybe it was the way he had also let go of his inhibitions and common sense, how we spoke so freely about whatever came to mind, without any social concern about seeming pleasant or proper.
“Well, it was really just a scare,” he commented. “Some lucky person will one day leave you with the good memories you dream of having.”
I shouldn't have felt that way, but I confess that, for the first time, I felt sad that nothing had happened that night. I don't think I would ever have another chance to experience that with Michael. Obviously, desire was what spoke louder in that thought.
I had to admit it wasn’t just the sense of safety and connection that had been missing from my previous relationships. No man had ever sparked in me the same kind of magnetic pull that Michael Turner did. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what that man must be like in bed.
The mere thought sent a wave of shivers coursing through my body.
I figured it would be safer to change the subject — which wasn’t hard once the car radio started playing a song I’d mentioned I liked. Michael said he was a fan of the band and had even been to one of their shows in Los Angeles. Before I knew it, we were chatting nonstop.
“The guys are nice,” he commented.
“You got to talk to them?”
“Having free access to singers and bands' dressing rooms when I go to a show is not something difficult when you are the son of Trinity Turner.”
“Of course, I had forgotten that detail. And how could I have forgotten? Your mother is a living legend of cinema.”
“She is, but don't use the word 'legend' in front of her. She'll think you're calling her old .”
“It wasn't like that. She was always a great actress, and she was also very beautiful. She's still very beautiful, I don't understand why she stopped her career so young.”
“It's a long story. Maybe she'll tell you one day. But she's always getting invitations from directors to return to the movies. Who knows, maybe one day she'll decide to accept one.”
I nodded in agreement. The song on the radio changed to Beyoncé's Love On Top . I started singing along, and Michael said, “She's also very nice.”
I looked at him, incredulous that I had gotten it right.
“ She?”
“Yeah. Beyoncé.”
“Are you telling me you know Beyoncé?”
“Yeah, we've already bumped into each other at a few events.”
“Beyoncé? The supreme diva, queen of the world, Beyoncé?”
“Oh, do you like her?”
“ Everyone loves Beyoncé.”
“Maybe one day I'll be able to introduce you to her.”
I couldn’t even find the words to reply. Michael started laughing, then teased me by singing along with the song. I joined in. We were both equally off-key, actually — though I had a strong suspicion he was even worse than I was.
“I can imagine how horrified the girl at the bead stand must have been with us singing Endless Love,” I commented at one point.
“It must have been terrible!” he agreed, laughing. “I love music, but I’m a terrible singer. I could never win someone over with a serenade, for example.”
“Thank goodness!” I said. “Few things in life are as tacky as a serenade.”
“I agree. You have to be desperately in love to do something like that.”
I was going to make some comment about it, but before I knew it, he was already pulling up in front of my building.
The trip had been so quick that I hadn't even noticed the time passing.
At the same time, it seemed like much more time had passed than it actually had because of the way we had managed to talk about so many things and nothing in particular at the same time.
“Don't you want to come up?” I tried, hoping that this time he would accept. “My grandmother is always asking about you.”
“Mrs. Jenna is a sweetheart. Tell her again that I send her my love and that I'll come visit her sometime.”
“Well, you know you have no obligation to do this. Our agreement is that our families believe we are engaged, nothing more.”
“It's not part of the deal, but I really like your grandmother. I think you're very lucky to have her in your life.”
I had no doubt about it. My grandmother was the kind of person who could easily win over anyone with her grandma-from-children's-programs manner. And she also liked people very easily, and that was the bad part of it all.
When Michael and I finished our ruse, she would inevitably miss him.
The worst part of all is that it probably wouldn't just be her.
I heard a whisper coming from the sidewalk and turned my eyes there, finding a group of residents of my building, including Nora Williams – the proud grandmother of four grandchildren – and Evelyn's mother, along with two other neighbors who were just as gossipy.
They were looking directly at me, but they tried to hide it when I turned my eyes in their direction, although they continued to whisper which was clearly about us.
“Is there a problem?” Michael asked, seeming to notice my gaze on the group of women.
“Gossipy neighbors,” I summarized. “They're probably suspicious of our relationship because of my reputation for being forever single. Well, it doesn't matter what they think.”
“And what do you think they think?”
“The same as the people at the company, probably. That I'm a gold digger.”
“Isn't that a bit outdated?”
“You're my boss and I've always been a completely career-focused person, that's their logic. Well, that doesn't really matter. See you on Saturday for Alice's birthday.”
“Yes, but we'll probably see each other before then. If it's not a problem for you, I can bring you home more often. You know, just to give your gossipy neighbors more to talk about.”
I laughed and agreed. Not that I had any interest in being the focus of more conversation for those women, but the ride had been quite pleasant.
I opened the door and started to get out of the car. I had barely found myself standing on the sidewalk when I heard the sound of the other door opening and I turned to see that Michael had also gotten out of the car and was coming towards me, stopping right in front of me.
“I was thinking...” he began. “It's not good for people to be suspicious of our relationship, don't you think?”
“Well... it's not, but... There's not much that can be done in that case.”
“Actually, there is.”
“Seriously? What?”
“To convey more truth in all this.”
He came a little closer, stopping just a few inches away from me, so that I could hear the sound of his breathing. If he could hear mine too, he must have noticed that it had completely lost its rhythm due to the proximity of his body to mine.
If there was any doubt as to what he meant by that, it was completely dispelled when he lowered his face, stopping with his lips very close to mine.
So close, that it felt like torture. I couldn't stand the urge to kiss him anymore.
“Is it okay with you if we do this?” he whispered, the sound of his voice reverberating through every cell in my body.
A slight nod was all I could manage in response. Then I closed my eyes and just surrendered to the moment.
It was as if the whole world stopped spinning when his lips met mine. I left the way free for his tongue to enter my mouth and find mine, the two beginning a slow and extremely sensual dance.
His hands slowly slid down my waist, and even with the fabric of my blouse preventing skin-to-skin contact, it was as if a million electrical particles were discharged there.
It wasn't the first time he had kissed me.
In fact, we had done it several times during the drunken night, with the encouragement of the alcohol in our bloodstreams. However, this time, it was different.
Even though it was an act, I allowed myself, for a moment, to believe in the illusion that there were feelings there.
This illusion came to an end along with the kiss.
Either way, he smiled at me, and I smiled back, we whispered a ‘see you tomorrow’ and I turned around, trying not to look back as I walked towards the entrance of my building.
“That's one lucky bitch...” I heard one of the women whisper as I walked past them.
Well... I had to agree with her on that.
Although I don't know if it could be called luck to kiss Michael Turner like that if it was just part of an act.