4. Kennedy
Chapter 4
Kennedy
“ K ennedy, you look like shit.” Beth frowned at me as I cleaned skates.
I knew I looked bad. My skin was paler than usual, and my eyes had constant bags under them.
“I know, this bug won’t go away,” I grumbled.
Beth leaned over the counter. “Are you sure it’s a bug?”
“What else could it be?”
“Well, remember the club a couple of months back…you hooked up with an alpha, didn’t you?”
My eyes widened as panic gripped my chest. “Oh, fuck, do you think he gave me something? Maybe I need to go down to the clinic and get tested for STIs. Ugh, that would be just my luck!” I growled, slamming down the skate I was cleaning a little too hard.
Beth shot me a funny, confused look. Gently plucking the skate out of my hands, she gave me an almost pitying expression. “I think he certainly gave you something, but not an STI.”
What on earth did she mean by that? What else could he have given—oh.
Fuck.
“You mean…” I trailed off, not wanting to put the thought into words. I started mentally running through the list of symptoms in my head. I was constantly nauseated—that one was a given. Other than that, my chest was a bit sore, and I was irritable, and constantly exhausted, but omega hormones meant that I occasionally had mood swings. It was normal.
“Have you been feeling a strong desire to nest recently?” Beth asked pointedly.
Double fuck.
She asked, even though she full well knew the answer. My nesting instincts had been going into overdrive for the last few weeks. On several occasions, I nearly destroyed my entire nest and rebuilt it from scratch because it wasn't right.
I started doing the mental math. I was due for a heat any day now, but I hadn't been experiencing the pre-heat cramping. Pregnant omegas didn’t experience heats. From a biological standpoint, the whole point of going through heat was to get pregnant, so once the omega was pregnant, they wouldn't have them until a few months after the baby was born.
“I think I need to go to the clinic and get a test,” I whispered, my body cold, my movements numb. My shift had officially ended, and Beth had just been hanging around, waiting for me to finish my last few tasks.
Beth nodded. “I’ll go with you!” she said, scooping up her bag and dragging me out of the building.
It only took a few minutes for a nurse at the clinic to give me a urine test and come back with the answer.
Those minutes dragged on far too long. Beth and I sat in the uncomfortable plastic chairs waiting with bated breath for the answer.
I had convinced myself that the test would be negative. I couldn’t imagine being pregnant; it was so far out of the realm of possibility for me. Though it was rare to get pregnant outside of a heat, it happened. It would be just my luck that, the only time I took a little walk on the wild side, I ended up with a baby.
“You are definitely pregnant!” the chipper blonde nurse declared. “I can't tell how far along you are, but we should get you an appointment with an OB. They’ll give you a scan and provide more details. Do you have any idea how far along you may be?”
My mind was buzzing, and everything sounded like my ears had been stuffed with cotton balls.
Pregnant?
With a baby?
A real, human baby?
Of course, it’s a real, human baby, you’re not giving birth to the lizard man.
I was just about to start my master’s degree. To get a good job and move on from the shitty life I’d had growing up.
A real family was a luxury I’d never had.
This baby was mine, and they would only have me to rely on.
My hand drifted to my belly. I had been bloated a lot lately, but I wasn't stupid enough to think that was a baby bump already. It was probably the tacos that I kept eating because they had suddenly become my favorite food a few weeks ago, despite the fact I knew my body was intolerant to spice.
Beth responded to the nurse for me, since I was too busy panicking. “She’s about ten weeks.”
The nurse nodded. “Almost done with the first trimester! Okay, I’ll get some reading material for you and the number for a local OB.” She smiled at me before flitting out of the room.
I turned to my friend. “What the hell am I going to do?” I wheezed. “I'm on my own, I've got no one who can help me!” Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. I was doing my best to keep it together while I was in public, but I knew the moment I was in my nest, I was going to break down.
Beth gently grabbed my upper arms, looking calmly at me, even though I was sure, deep down, she was also shocked at this development. “Here's what you're going to do. You're going to get through this appointment. Then we are going back to your place and try to call Charlie… Why do you look so horrified at that prospect?” she asked.
I took a deep breath.
“I may have lied to you about Charlie. Not about everything we did, but about the aftermath. I did try calling him, and the number was disconnected. I have no idea how to contact him.”
Beth’s eyes widened. “Oh, that complicates things. Still, how many Charlies can there be in this town? We will track him down,” she declared.
It turned out there were a lot of Charlies in town, and none of them were the guy I’d hooked up with.
Unfortunately, I knew very little about the guy, other than how he looked and the size of his feet—and that fact was useless, when it came to tracking down a guy. I knew he was an alpha, and he smelled really, really good, but that wasn’t much help, either.
“Do you really think it’s an honest mistake, the fake number?” Beth asked.
“I think so. He seemed like a nice guy.”
Beth nodded. “We’ll keep searching, but I’m shocked we haven’t come across him yet. There’s only so many skating Charlies, and none of them match the guy you had a walk on the wild side with.”
We had been searching for almost two weeks. For the first few days, I'd been cautiously optimistic that we would find the alpha. Even if he didn't want a child, he would have to help me, at least financially. Considering I was a scholarship student, that would have been a massive help.
As each day went by and we got no answers, my stomach would sink farther and farther, until it finally dawned on me that I was probably going to be doing this alone.
“What if we can’t find him?” I asked Beth, my voice quivering.
“Well…what do you want to do? I know we haven’t discussed it, but you have options.”
I shook my head. “I’m having this baby, there’s no doubt about that. Giving them up is also out of the question. I was raised by shitty parents, and there's no way in hell I'm going to allow my child to suffer through that.”
Beth nodded along thoughtfully. “I assumed, but it was worth asking. In that case, I think we need to start saving up to make sure you can still finish your master’s.”
“Do you really think that's a possibility?”
“I don't see why not. It'll be hard, but you have a much better chance at long-term success if you complete your master’s in criminology and psychology.”
“That's true. I've got two years to get through, to struggle through before entering the workforce. I can do that,” I said, though I wasn’t sure if I was telling Beth or myself, because I had no confidence in my own ability.
“You know, the café on campus is always looking for staff. I'm sure there are also special scholarships for single mothers. Tomorrow, we can go to the student center and look up if there are any that you can get.”
“Okay…”
“And whatever you want to do, I’ll be around to help. You know that Auntie Beth will be demanding cute baby snuggles regularly. If that means I have to change a diaper or two, then oh well, I guess I’ll muddle through.” She giggled.
Beth was being practical and thinking with logic. I liked that. I was so emotional that making a plan and sticking to it was the best possible thing I could do.
Because my life plan had just gone flying out the window.