20. Vinny
CHAPTER 20
Vinny
I ’m miserable living in the safe house. It’s not just the tension between Rosa and me. It’s knowing every second could be my last. There’s no roaming the streets to get a beer or eat good food. I’m a prisoner. Rosa’s one too. I can’t have that. So, my restlessness gets the best of me and I go out to get something I need.
Sushi. What a stupid thing to risk my life for, right? But it’s not just me. Rosa loves ramen and I hear her go on about the incredible ramen she’s had in Chinatown. I already have little to no contact with her. The best I can do is offer to give her massages — which she always refuses — or ask questions about her childhood. Usually, the answers are short. But whenever we get on the topic of food, her face lights up.
“There’s this spot called Sifu’s Kitchen where they serve the best stir fry, lo mien, and ramen. The owner, Shang, used to save me a plate after school. He knew how bad I had it,” Rosa told me before she slept. Food is the only thing on all of our minds. Lately, cornmeal and frozen chicken are all we get. I had to do something brave.
I set out for Chinatown once everyone is asleep. It feels like breaking out of jail — the wind is cold on my face and the smells of the city hit me at once. Chinatown is three train rides away and I reach it by 11:00 PM. Rosa’s description hadn’t been very helpful.
“ It was next to this red, blinking sign and a bench covered in gum,” she’d said while half asleep. But, miraculously, I find it. And it's open.
There are a few older people working and a kid sweeping by the register. I know I look like a hot mess when I approach the kid at the register, because she eyes me suspiciously.
“Can I help you?” she asks.
I look at the huge, faded menu as hunger nearly folds me in half. “I want ramen, lo mien, and fish cakes.”
The girl blinks a few times then quickly types in the order on an old computer. “$15.26,” she mumbles. I reach into my pocket and pull out my wallet which has one last twenty to spare. I slide it across the counter but then snatch it back.
“Wait, I want the Thai iced tea,” I request as I remember Rosa mentioning how great it paired with ramen. The girl rolls her eyes and grabs a small can from the refrigerator behind her. I push the twenty back towards her and hold my breath as she gives me my change.
The next fifteen minutes are anxiety-filled. I hear arguments in Mandarin and young teens rushing into convenience stores next door. All I can think about is having a taste of the food with Rosa. I also think about how much it would suck for me not to make it back. The thought stays until my order number is called and I take a huge bag of food back with me to the safe house. I become hyper-aware of everything on the ride back. I hear every voice and creak in the train. I watch everyone like a hawk and feel the eyes of people who aren’t there. I hold my breath until I make it off the train, down 7 th Street, and finally cross over to the alley of the safe house. I check the bag to make sure my journey doesn’t squish the food, and it’s just my luck that everything is good.
Except, I only get a second before the entrance slams open and someone grabs me. The bag goes flying out of my hands and I catch it just before it splatters at my feet.
“What the fuck?” I roar, pushing whoever grabbed me roughly. Unfortunately, the person feels frail and I see a flash of blonde hair. “Rosa?” I cry, setting the bag down and grabbing the person. Angry, brown eyes stare back at me as I realize it’s just Jodie.
She reaches into her pocket to pull out a pepper spray but I knock it down. “Pepper spray? Really?”
But she lands a hard kick to my shin and I buckle. “Do you have any idea how stupid that was?”
I rub my shin as pain shoots up my leg. “I wanted Rosa to have some real food!”
Jodie grabs the bag and opens it, groaning. “You risked our lives for cheap Chinese food?”
I stand up and snatch the bag back. “It’s a fusion of Chinese and Japanese food, and she’s been craving it.”
I brush past Jodie, and once I’m inside the safe house, I’m met by Rosa, Nick, and Dr. Carmy. Rosa collapses on the couch with bloodshot eyes.
“I told you he was fine!” she yells at Nick.
“He could’ve cost us,” Dr. Carmy snaps. I walk over and wag the bag in front of Rosa’s face.
“I got your favorite, Rosa,” I insist, but she doesn’t seem too thrilled.
“We thought you were dead,” Rosa yells. “I thought you’d got yourself killed!”
Now my master plan doesn’t seem so great. “I wanted you to have something you liked.”
She looks away. “I can’t live like this.”
“No, you can’t. Which is why I’m moving you to Mexico,” I announce. It’s a spur-of-the -moment kind of thing but once it’s out, I feel good about it. Rosa stares at me with bewilderment.
“What am I gonna do in Mexico?” she screams.
Nick shakes his head and I wait for him to also disagree with me. “He may actually have a point. Your dad doesn’t have support out there as far as I know.”
I nod. “You can live out the rest of your pregnancy in peace with fresh air and good food. And these assholes don’t have to keep looking over their shoulders.”
Jodie rolls her eyes. “I sure would like to have him out of my hair, Nick.”
“Who said I would want to go with him?” Rosa protests. “I don’t trust Vinny.”
I step forward. “And this is where I ask that you try, Rosa. You’re not just someone I love. You’re carrying our babies. I need us to be safe.”
I exhale and wipe sweat from my brow. “I also trust my grandfather.”
Rosa has tears in her eyes and quietly grabs the bag from me. I can tell the smell hits her as a small smile creeps on her face. Without a word, she retreats to the dinner table and savagely begins eating. Even if it may have cost us, I’m satisfied to see my plan has worked.
“Vinny! Vinny! Wake up!” A bright light burns my eyes and I bolt awake with Jodie standing over me. She tosses a bag at me and drags me out of the bed.
“What the hell, Jodie?” I hiss.
“Dr. Carmy is dead. We have to get you and Rosa out of here,” Jodie says in one breath. I don’t have time to process what she’s saying. I immediately put my shoes on and quickly follow her with the bag she threw at me. Rosa is already in the trunk of the truck with Nick in the driver’s seat.
“You will both be covered in the trunk. I’m taking you to the border and then you’re on your own,” Nick says. Rosa is shivering underneath the cover as I squeeze in beside her.
“It’s gonna be alright,” I whisper as Jodie slams the trunk closed.
Rosa doesn’t say a word.
I’m in and out of sleep until Nick opens the trunk and uncovers Rosa and me. I squint my eyes away from the bright lights. It’s not sunlight though.
“We’re not there yet, but at least we’re away from your dad’s bloodhounds,” Nick says. “You two should get up and stretch your legs. The next couple of hours might be brutal.”
I help Rosa up and she slides out of the trunk. “Gas station?” she asks.
“Truckstop — and thankfully, this one is empty,” Nick says. “I’m gonna get a few things.” I sheepishly follow behind him into the small store. We silently grab a handful of chips, candy, energy drinks, and gum.
“Remember when we’d skip school and go to Raymen’s spot?” Nick asks out of the blue.
I snort. “Yeah, and then get busted by the cops.”
Nick smiles. “Things were so easy back then.” The cashier begins to check us out and a lump forms in my throat.
“You didn’t have to do this, Nick,” I whisper. “You’re risking your life.”
He takes the small bag of junk food and shrugs. “It’s the right thing to do. We were brothers once.”
We walk out of the door and back towards the truck. “Once?” I repeat.
Rosa is back in the truck, looking up at the starry sky. She looks exhausted and guilt washes over me.
“Too much has happened for things to ever be the same but I figured one last effort couldn’t hurt,” Nick says.
I don’t feel good about the tone in his voice or the gleam in his eyes. It’s like he knows something I don’t. “Nick, is there something—”
“I’m getting you to where you need to be, then after that you need to care for Rosa. Mexico won’t be a one-and-done. You never know what your dad has planned. You also can’t be too sure your grandfather is fully loyal,” Nick says. “Rosa is the most important thing. Don’t screw up.”
The compassion in his voice almost makes me want to ask why his loyalty has sprouted for Rosa. Then again, it's Rosa. She has that effect on everyone. I keep my questions to myself and get back in the trunk with Rosa. Once we’re boxed in, we’re back in darkness.
“Vinny?” Rosa suddenly asks.
I search for her hand in the darkness and finally find it. She doesn’t pull away. “Yeah, Rosa?”
There's a brief silence before she speaks. “Do you think I’ll be happy in Mexico?”
“I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you are,” I reply quickly. “I love Mexico.”
Rosa squeezes my hand. “Will our babies love it?”
“It’s half of me, so it’ll be half of them too,” I say. “They’ll have a better shot at learning Spanish and knowing the beautiful parts of our culture.”
Rosa laughs. “I’d like that…little bilingual babies.”
I move closer, wrapping my hand around Rosa’s waist. “Rosa, I love you.” There’s another silence. I worry she won't say it back. Why would she? Look at where she is because of me. But Rosa eventually says, “I love you, too, Vinny.”
That’s all I need.
Three months later
Life has been slow. It feels like it’s been paused. Just like the last time I lived in Mexico, I eat good food and spend time with my grandfather. But the best part is spending time with Rosa every day. Watching her stomach grow is the best gift. The glow she has is beautiful and I see a new side of her. She spends some days picking food in the market and other days she relaxes. She’s no longer looking over her shoulder and that brings me a lot of ease.
My grandfather certainly is happy to have me back. Our nights always end with a beer on the back patio that overlooks the countryside. It’s a world away from the chaos in New York.
“She seems happy here,” he says one night.
I nod. “The babies will be born on Mexican soil so that makes me happy.”
My grandfather grunts. “Good. That’s all I ever wanted for all of you.” The wind picks up as I drink the last of my beer.
“I still don’t know if Rosa wants to be with me,” I mutter.
“Of course she does. You’re a family now and once those kids get here, she’ll need you even more,” he replies. “You just need to do your part in making that decision easy for her.”
Rosa isn’t easy to get through to. She’s stubborn and still has walls. “The most I can get is a hug.”
My grandfather smirks. “That’s because you don’t know how to romance her. How are you forgetting the romantic side of pursuit?”
The last time I pursued a woman I was in my early twenties. Women usually come after me. Rosa won’t chase me though. I’m going to have to get creative with her. The following day, I plan it out to the last detail.
Rosa finds me in the afternoon, staring inquisitively at the note I left on her bed. “What’s this all about?”
I shrug. “What does it say?”
She tries to hide the smirk on her face. “Be ready at 7?”
I nod. “There’s a gift under the bed, too.”
“What kind of gift?” Rosa folds her arms across her chest.
I’m fighting the urge to let her know how excited I am. “I can’t give it all away, Rosa.”
Rosa folds the note up and tucks it in her pocket. “Fine, I’ll be ready at 7.”
The restaurant I have chosen is similar to the coffee shop where I took Rosa when she was being held captive. It overlooks the ocean and has the best food in Jalisco. There’s even a live band. Rosa’s dress — coral and green and handmade by a local tribe — looks breathtaking on her. Once we eat and enjoy the food, I see the color returning to her cheeks.
“You can tell me what all this is for now,” Rosa says.
I smile and reach over to take Rosa’s hand. “I love you.”
She rolls her eyes. “What did you do now?”
“No, Rosa, I’m serious. I want a life with you and I want you to know I’m committed to you,” I promise her. Rosa looks away and takes a long sip of guava juice.
“That’s a lot to take in, Vinny,” Rosa says. “You broke my trust that night you tried to kill me.”
“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done and I will regret it until the day I die,” I admit. “But I want to start over. I want us to have a life with our kids.”
Rosa smiles. “Can you ask me again when we get back to the house?”
My heart hurts a bit but I nod slowly. “Of course.”
Back at the house, Rosa settles into her room.
“Is there anything—” I start to say before Rosa kisses me passionately. It catches me off guard. She has a wild look in her eyes.
“Ask me again, please,” Rosa begs. I do as I’m told and kiss her, but a part of me holds back.
“I don’t wanna mess things up—” I begin to say but Rosa silences me with another kiss.
“We can’t predict what will happen,” she replies gently. “I just have this feeling that if I’m not with you, I won’t be happy or safe ever again.”
I can’t explain the emotion that hits me. It’s like an explosion. The heat from before engulfs us. Outside, rain begins to pour and I’m excited thinking about being holed up with Rosa.
“How do I repay you for being so forgiving?” I ask breathlessly.
She shrugs. “You can apologize how I want you to.”
The urge jolts me. “Whatever you want.”
“Wow, that was pretty simple,” she laughs.
“I wanna do everything I can to keep you happy,” I continue. Our eyes lock and I sense she has the same fire bubbling inside her.
“Take your clothes off,” I finally order her.
“Why should I follow orders from you?” she teases me. I take the liberty to tug at her dress and slip it off. Rosa grins as she pulls off her bra. Her breasts are fuller and spill out of the cup, driving me wild. I instantly drop to my knees and take her hips with both my hands. I ravage every inch of her as I slowly work my way back up to her breasts, hungrily sucking her erect nipples. Rosa moans as I continue to rub her nipples, before sliding my hand in between her thighs.
“I love how wet you get for me,” I growl as I pleasure her more.
“I want more,” Rosa moans.
I smirk at how weak she becomes. “How badly do you want it?”
Rosa bites her lip. “Really, really badly. Please make love to me,” she whimpers. I continue rubbing in between her legs, faster and faster. Rosa’s breathing is quick and jagged as her eyes roll back. I keep going until my member is ready to explode. I push Rosa onto the bed and finally enter her.
“How’s that?” I ask breathlessly.
Rosa moans a shaky, “Incredible.”
I slide my girth deeper inside her. Rosa moans louder, pushing my hand down to rub in between her legs more. I start slowly, pumping in and out of her. But as Rosa demands a muffled, “Harder!” I quicken my speed.
I allow Rosa to guide my hand to her neck as I continue to make love to her.
"God, you feel so good,” I grunt as I hold her tight.
I have no worries as our bodies press together and the world fades away. Rosa is my person and she’s here to stay.