23. Rosa
CHAPTER 23
Rosa
T wo weeks have gone by since Vinny left for New York and I haven’t been the same. I can’t eat or think straight. All I can imagine is Vinny being ganged up on, and killed. The life we started to build feels like a lie. Why did I think that I of all people could actually be happy? I dread waking up in the morning and being a mother is hard. I have two little boys to care for, but how can I when I feel like breaking with every passing moment?
Marisol is a force though. She helps with the boys and makes sure I eat. It’s not easy on her and there are days when I want to give up on everything.
“You need strength, mija ,” Marisol tells me as she puts the boys down for a nap after they eat. I pumped for hours just so Marisol could take over feeding them. All of my energy is spent feeling anxious and angry.
“I’m tired of being strong,” I whisper. “I have no fight left.”
Marisol shakes her head. “That’s just the depression speaking. You are a force of a woman.”
I shake my head. “Then how’d I get kidnapped? Strong women don’t get kidnapped.”
“Of course, they do,” she says. “You have a family and you’re fighting for them. You can’t let what happened to you win.” I have nothing else to say so I lean back as the sunlight pours in through the window. Since the attack on the village, we’ve moved four times. This village is four hours away from the last. I have no idea when we’ll have to move again. The thought of it gives me a migraine. But Vinny leaving didn’t solve our problems. His father still has men out here looking for us. Once they learned about the boys being born, he’s been ever more determined to track us down. El Salvador was supposed to be our next destination, but even that’s not looking safe.
“Is this how we continue for the rest of our lives? Running?” I finally say.
Marisol sighs. “Not if Toni gets killed.”
“If he does,” I mutter. “He’s too powerful.”Marisol nods her head, letting the wind outside fill the silence. We both know it’s only a matter of time before things go from bad to worse.
“You can’t keep thinking about it,” Marisol adds softly. “You have to…let him go.”
I don’t realize I have tears in my eyes until they slip down my face. “Vinny is the only man I’ve ever loved.”
Marisol winces. “And his absence will hurt for a lifetime.”
“How do I move on from that?” I continue. “How does anyone?”
The most I know about Marisol is that her situation was similar to mine. Her ex-husband and boys all died because of gang violence. Now she cares for others. I don’t know how she does it. I don’t want my reality to turn out like hers.
Marisol reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “You have people around you who will help you. It’s how I survived the hardest years of my life.”
I want to believe her.
I spend the next day alone with the boys sleeping off their last bottle when I hear a car approaching. The houses here are thin and the roads narrow. Cars don’t typically come out here. I’m washing clothes when I hear the car and the engine being turned off. I stop in my tracks when I hear footsteps walk around the side of the house. All I have is a washing pail and a rock to beat out the dirt. Nothing prepares me to see Vinny’s father.
I drop the rock as fear takes over. His hands are in his pockets as he approaches me. There are three huge guys covered in tattoos who were probably Vikings in another life are watching behind him.
“So, I finally found you,” he says.
“What…how…?” I can barely get the words out.
He smiles. “I want to see my grandsons.”
Anger bubbles in my stomach. “How dare you. After you tried to kill your own son!”
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t have to if he’d killed you.” It dawns on me that I’m here all alone. Marisol is helping another pregnant woman in the village, Vinny’s grandfather and his security check on us every other day once they thought we were hard to be found. I have no one to protect me.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Do what you came here to do,” I say boldly.
He smirks then shakes his head. “I’m not that brutal. You can’t kill off the mom when the kids have only just been born.”
He moves closer. “They need at least the first six months.”
A shiver rushes down my spine. This man won’t let me live much longer. I could run but where would it get me?
“Why don’t you get some tea started so I can see my grandsons?” he suggests. I feel numb as he follows me inside. The boys are both sleeping in a small cradle.
“Look at that,” Toni exclaims as he cups their tiny faces in his hands. He laughs and tears spring to his eyes. “They look just like their abuelo.”
He looks back at me. “They look healthy. You must have a lot of help.”
There’s no way I’m bringing Marisol into this. “It’s just me.”
“Vinny wouldn’t leave you here alone,” he presses.
“Like I said, it’s just me,” I reply. He glances over to the tea pot and I reluctantly get the tea started. Once it boils, I serve it to him with steady hands. I’m shocked it doesn’t spill.
“You’re going to make me drink alone?” he asks.
I glare at him. “It’s not poisonous,” I pour myself another and sip it.
He takes a long sip then leans back in the chair. “Aren’t you curious about Vinny?”
“You mean if I think he’s dead?”
There’s a small stretch of quiet. “He’s not. We haven’t found him.”
My heart eases up a bit. He has a chance to make it out. But only a small one.
“Are you here to get some kind of revenge?” I press. “To make him suffer for not being who you need him to be?”
He considers the question as he takes another sip of tea. “My own father betrayed me. He left the lifestyle behind then blamed me for being who he created.”
I shrug. “Doesn’t mean you have to be a monster.”
“A monster?” he repeats.
“Yes, a monster. You already have power. Why are you so hell-bent on making people be who you want them to be?”
For a split second, I wonder if he’ll hit me. Anger and pure hatred show up in his eyes. But then he softens.
“When I met your dad, I thought the same thing. He had this vengeance in him. I couldn’t understand it. He felt the world owed him something and that everyone should just fall in line.”
He pauses, pointing a finger at me. “Which sucks for you, right? You had to suffer because of his selfishness and I’m shocked no one else has killed that bastard.”
“Telling me about how much of an asshole my dad is means nothing,” I cut in. “Both he and my mom are dead to me.”
I haven’t thought about my parents for a while. Not since the wedding, at least. All I care about is the family I created and I'll be damned if Vinny’s father tries to take that away. He pushes the teacup away from him as he taps his fingers on the table.
“You know this isn’t ending without someone paying, correct?” he asks. I look over at my boys sleeping peacefully. I think about the promise Vinny made to me and the advice Marisol gave me. I am strong and I can’t give up so easily.
“Do what you want, but know that you will pay for it,” I warn.
The look on his face tells me that’s the least of his worries.
A week later
I’ve lost track of time. Everything has been taken from me and I’m on my last legs. After Toni found me, he forced me to return to New York with the babies. I felt slightly encouraged about being in the same place as Vinny until the babies were taken from me and I was chained in a basement. I have no idea how much time has gone by. The only freedom I get is feeding the boys, then I’m placed back in chains. To make things worse, I worry that Vinny’s been caught. None of my community has a way of knowing where I am or how to get me back. The thought of my boys growing up without me is gutting me. Once again, I’ve been kidnapped and forced to accept an unimaginable future. I barely get any food to eat and I can feel my hope dying with each passing day.
The smell of the basement makes me want to vomit. Soon, I will forget about fighting. I don’t even dream of escaping. I just wait for the small moments of feeding the boys before I’m put right back into hell.
“ I guess this is how I will die after all,” I think to myself before I close my eyes. The thought lingers until one day is unlike the others. I don't get the early feeding. It makes me worry. It makes fear and dread rush through my body to the point of numbing my fingers.
A crash from upstairs sounds and then I hear two gunshots. I hold my breath as the basement door swings open and footsteps run down the stairs. I can only assume it’s someone high-jacking the kidnapping, and I might be their collateral damage. But the footsteps get closer and I finally see who made all the noise.
“Nick?” I yelp. He rushes over and unties my hands and I hug him immediately as I begin to cry.
“Thank God I found you,” Nick whispers as he hugs me tighter.
“We have to get out of here!” I plead. Nick helps me to my feet.
“He has the boys,” Nick whispers. Which means it wasn’t him who Nick killed. My heart sinks and I start to feel bad all over again. If anything happens to my babies, I don’t think I could go on.
“Rosa, we’re gonna get them back. It’s just bait, okay? He’s trying to get us all where he wants us,” Nick tells me. “Right now, I need you and Vinny to think with clear heads.”
“Wait, Vinny is…alive?” I stammer.
“He’s at the safe house. Barely made it but…I was able to locate him just like I was for you,” Nick says. “So, right now, I need you to trust me. I’m not going to let anyone hurt the babies.”
Nick helps me up the stairs and we’re in a car and back on the road. The trees whip past us quickly and all I can think about is the last time I held the babies. They were warm and cooing. They trusted me and I let them get kidnapped.
God, let my babies be okay.