Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Laura let herself into the nursery and leaned against the heavy door, panting from her rush to escape the icy stare and company of her now visibly angry husband.
She’d thought she was ready for that, but apparently she was not immune to his moods. He believed she had betrayed him. He was wrong. Things would have been easier and so much simpler if she had shared a bed with someone else.
She let out a shaky breath and then quickly glanced around the large nursery room. Her sons were watching her from the governess’ shadow, where they appeared to be playing a game with her.
Jasper was lounging at the window with Isabelle on his lap. She smiled quickly and straightened from her slump. She could not dwell on her problems with the children’s father. They had once been sensitive to her moods, and her time with them was too precious to waste.
Jasper strolled over with Isabelle, nodding and grinning like he was party to a great secret. “Finally, you’re here.”
“Yes, for now,” she said.
“The worst is over,” he promised, handing Isabelle to her, then tickling her tummy and making her laugh. “You’ve seen your husband and survived. It will be easy to resume your life with us.”
“For the next thirty days only,” she told him.
“What?”
Laura explained the bargain she’d just made with the duke.
“What nonsense! You belong here with us. Nash should be the one to leave if he doesn’t want you here,” Jasper protested.
But he was mad to think she could want to stay at Ravenswood. There was no going back now. Too much bad blood between them. Too many days spent alone, even before she’d left him.
But she could smile because the duke decreed she could be with her children whenever she wanted over the next thirty days. Spending an hour with her husband was a minor detriment to her happiness over that.
Jasper exchanged a long glance with Mrs. Radcliffe. “Sophie and I are undecided if we should leave the estate now or wait.”
“Do not stay longer than you want to on my account. I knew my reception would not be a warm one.”
“Well. Not from certain quarters perhaps, but from mine, it is the opposite. Might I embrace you, sister dear?” Jasper asked hesitantly.
She frowned at him.
“I have several years’ worth of Christmastime good cheer and birthday affection to share. Perhaps I could limit it to one long embrace, so it is not embarrassing to either of us,” Jasper teased.
She sighed. “Very well,” she whispered, and let herself be pulled into his arms. But she did not allow such sentimentality to continue for very long. In looks, Jasper could remind her of Nash, but the differences in their natures were vast.
The former governess drew closer when she was released. “You must be tired, my lady,” Sophie suggested hesitantly.
“Perhaps I am a little.” She jiggled Isabelle on her hip. “They grow so fast, don’t they?”
“Always,” the woman agreed. “Would you allow me to help you with her?”
“The duke might not like that. He has decreed only myself and my husband should have the care of them now.”
“I am sure he didn’t intend to exclude family from playing with the children or holding Isabelle, because we are inordinately fond of them all,” Jasper warned.
Laura considered Jasper and the woman he would marry, and then nodded. Someone here had to care about Isabelle and the boys when she was gone. Why not allow Jasper and Mrs. Radcliffe to build the bond with Isabelle, who would need them for love and comfort.
Laura already trusted Jasper to look after her daughter when she couldn’t. And she was more tired than she expected to be. Confronting Nash had been nerve-wracking.
Sophie swept the girl from her arms and spoke to her, only to plop her on the floor beside Thomas the next moment. “Please watch over your sister, Thomas.”
“I won’t let her out of my sight,” he promised, parroting his father. But his glance took Laura in, too.
Laura winced. She’d had no chance to explain to Thomas that she was going away. It had all happened so quickly.
He would have been too young to understand why she’d been so weak and sickly and getting worse through no fault of her own.
Laura let out a shaky breath, but her anxiety eased at seeing her children sitting together at play and seemingly happy in each other’s company. She wanted to always imagine them so.
Jasper led her to sit near the window. “Since we never had tea in the drawing room, I have asked for it to be brought here instead.”
“You’ve always been the most considerate of the family, Jasper,” she told him.
“I take after the only sister I ever had, who taught me more about kindness and patience than anyone in this family ever could.”
She shook her head and grinned reluctantly. “You were always the most likely to flatter without cause, too.”
“No. No. You deserve every praise I can heap on your head right now.” He leaned closer. “You did not have an easy time making a place for yourself in this family. Despite my brother’s silence, I’m sure he was happy to see you, though.”
“I’m sure you don’t know what you’re talking about yet again,” she countered, looking across the room at Sophie. The woman was listening. So were the boys and she lowered her voice to a whisper. “Nash doesn’t care about me, and he never did.”
“I know my brother. He cared for no woman but you,” Jasper promised.
Laura winced. “He didn’t miss me or need me. He got his heir and spare.”
“In the beginning of your marriage, Nash always headed upstairs the moment he returned to the estate. We often teased him about that but Father chided him for it. Demanding attention first, as he did with all of us. He’d send us off for any odd reason so we were hardly ever together here at the same time. When we realized you were gone, he forbid us writing to alert Nash or looking for you ourselves. On the day Nash finally did return, Father let him discover you missing on his own.”
“The late duke would have enjoyed his son’s humiliation. Knowing everything and ordering Nash about made him feel powerful.” She imagined that easily, because she’d heard it herself. The duke taunting his second son, telling him how capricious women could be. How unstable and troublesome Laura was becoming. In the end, she’d proved him right.
“Admittedly, Nash’s steps grew slower in the years after you left him, but I’m sure he still hoped to find you had returned home in his absence all this time.”
She shook away the hope so at odds with the reality. “So you will marry Mrs. Radcliffe?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “We were thrown together while the duke was away and found we had more in common than not. The plans we’re making might exclude us from proper society in the end, but we have each other and the duke’s blessing.”
“I’m glad you found someone you can care for. It is good to know each’s dreams and support them.”
“Sophie will inherit a pleasure house,” Jasper whispered, sounding rather proud.
Laura choked and glanced at Sophie. “The establishment where my husband met her?”
Sophie came close. “He met me nearly dying there. My babe lost too soon.”
Laura winced, glancing at Jasper, wondering how he bore that news. Yet he only smiled at Sophie with absolute love in his eyes and reached out for her hand to squeeze it.
Jasper Sweet had chosen a truly unconventional bride indeed, a ruined woman, and surprisingly so had Nash, but she had to admit it might be a better match for Jasper instead.
Sophie was just the sort of woman the late duke would have refused to permit any match with though. She was surprised the current duke had allowed such a thing. “I’m very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Radcliffe. Children are a blessing.”
“Sophie, please. Since we are to be almost sisters for a while. Your husband’s offer of employment saved me from becoming a lady of the night. I was an orphan, and I had nothing and no one to turn to besides my new friends at the brothel. Your husband was never really my particular friend.”
“Not like I have become, she means,” Jasper hastened to assure her with a wink. “Sophie has been a model of decorum since her arrival, which was why we did not get along so well at first.”
“Not for a long time,” Sophie added, offering him a sweet smile, and then she threw a cheeky smile at Laura. “Not until you left Isabelle on his bed. I thought him just another heartless rake until then.”
“It was the sheer panic in my voice that finally softened her heart toward me,” Jasper claimed, grinning deeply. “I owe my current state of happiness all to you, dear sister, and little Isabelle, for casting up her accounts all over my favorite waistcoat. Sophie took pity on me then and our friendship grew.”
She sighed at the spectacle her daughter must have made. “I apologize for the inconvenience of leaving her on your bed. My visit was meant to be brief but the house was awash with strangers and I discovered Nash away with the duke too. I had to leave her with someone in the family. And since you were always so good with your younger cousins, I trusted you to take charge of her and keep her safe until her father returned.”
“I’m glad you trust me. You can trust us all, you know.”
She exhaled shakily. “When will you be married?”
“Not until we reach London, and the sooner the better, although I think Algernon wishes to host the wedding breakfast here. He quite enjoyed surprising cousin Amity with her own wedding breakfast earlier in the year.”
“So your cousin married at last? I assume it was the great match your cousin George told everyone to expect from his side of the family. Only someone from the finest aristocratic ranks and rich would have gained his approval.”
“George is not pleased, the pig. Amity ruined herself to get away from a bad match and then fell in love later. Algernon smoothed things over, so no one said a word against the match, really.”
“His first manipulation as duke?” she asked. “I gather he’s well on his way to emulating your father now.”
“Well, if Amity was his victim, then he’s a gift for making women happy. I’ve never seen a couple more in love than Amity and our friend, Mr. Roman Crawford.” Jasper grinned up at Sophie and brought her hand to his lips. “Until now, of course. No one could be happier than the pair of us.”
Laura averted her eyes at the overt display of affection between the pair. Jasper had always been so different to Nash. Outgoing and flirtatious. Clearly, he would be an affectionate husband toward Sophie. They stood a chance of being happy together if that continued. Happier than she and Nash had ever had the opportunity to be under the old duke’s thumb.
She bit her tongue as the tea tray arrived, carried in by a servant she didn’t recognize. It was a reminder that things could change at Ravenswood, but a warning that nothing lasted here either. Laura had to look to the future to find hope, or at least peace now.
She would be divorced soon and then…well, life would be so very different from what it was supposed to have been.
Laura had to take charge of her life now, so she poured tea for the newly engaged pair and wished them every happiness.
“I’m sure my older brother will break out the good stuff soon enough so we can celebrate properly together,” Jasper warned.
“I’m sure he will,” she murmured. “Enjoy your celebration.”
“We’ll enjoy the celebration together,” Jasper said, giving her a pointed look. “Please.”
“I’m sure I’m not wanted, unless awkward silences and scowls are what you seek,” Laura said, and then settled back in the window seat with her cup of tea. She could not imagine any merriment where her husband was sitting opposite her. She’d suffered through enough formal dinners at Ravenswood to want to avoid future ones where she still could not speak her mind.
“I’d like you there with us, too,” Sophie added, wringing her hands. “I’ve rarely joined the duke for celebrations. I’d appreciate your support and a woman’s company in the drawing room afterward, so I’m not all alone.”
Laura winced. She understood how intimidating this family could be, even when you’d been groomed to marry into it. But Sophie had Jasper to rely upon. He would stand up for her and remain by her side in a way Nash never had for her. “They hardly ever insult you to your face. The knives come out later.”
Jasper sighed. “It’s not like that here anymore,” he promised. “Just you wait and see.”
Laura shook her head, unable to believe that. “You will have a very happy match, I think, if you always support each other.”
“I plan to,” Jasper assured her, jumping to his feet to take up Sophie’s hand and press kisses to the back of it.
Laura watched the exchange with growing respect for the match. Sophie already held her future husband in the palm of her hand and he seemed to enjoy being kept there. She had quickly achieved what many women dream of for the whole of their unhappy married lives.
Laura certainly had never achieved so much with Nash. She could begrudge no one a better courtship than hers had been. “Very well. I will join you to celebrate your engagement if I am still here.”
She glanced down at herself. Her gown was not exactly acceptable for a formal celebratory dinner, but she was done trying to please members of this family. If her husband complained about her appearance, too bad. She had brought nothing finer with her.
She moved away from the betrothed couple and knelt on the floor near her children. She did not interrupt, just watched them play together. They seemed to get along well so far. Eventually, Isabelle grew tired of playing peek-a-boos and came crawling over, asking without words to be held.
Laura hesitated a moment before picking up her child. Soon she would not have the chance to hold her close. It was a heavy price she would pay for her freedom in the end. Laura had expected to leave with nothing tonight but the clothes on her back until the duke had insisted she stay. She would remain for her daughter’s sake. But more than mothering, Isabelle needed the security and protection only her father could provide.
Another servant appeared. An older woman Laura remembered. However she could hardly looked her in the eye now though. Probably afraid the duke would punish her for her help all those years ago. “His Grace has asked me to attend to you, Lady Sweet.”
“I can manage on my own,” she promised, deciding she would keep her involvement a secret.
“That is what he said you would say. Your room has been prepared, a bath drawn, and your gowns are being pressed as we speak. I am to help you disrobe, bathe, and to dress afterward.”
Laura squinted at the servant. “How do you have any of my gowns to press?”
“His Grace ordered your single trunk brought to Ravenswood from your family estate,” the servant claimed. “If you will follow me now, the water is growing cold.”
Although surprised by this turn of events, she dared not let it show. The duke had eyes and ears everywhere. Just like the last one had. She would have to be careful.
“If the duke expects me to sit down to dinner tonight, he will have to accept me the way I am. I prefer to spend the time I have with my children.”
“He thought you would say that, too, and he said to tell you that you are excused from dining with him tonight. He suggested you make yourself at home, and that the children might enjoy a bath in your chambers after you are done with the water.”
Isabelle had always enjoyed bath time. So had her sons when they were much younger. They looked at Laura now, clearly excited about the idea of taking a bath in her chambers, their breaths held, their eyes alight with barely hidden excitement.
She quickly nodded. “Very well. Bring them in five minutes.”
“Twenty minutes,” the servant countered with a quick, apologetic smile for the room. “Your hair has grown quite long while you were gone, my lady. It will take more time to wash properly now.”
Laura knew that was quite true and sighed a second time. “Very well. Twenty minutes.”
“I’ll fetch the children as soon as you are decent,” the woman promised. “They usually take their supper at five o’clock in the nursery. His Grace expected that you would wish to join them.”
“I would.”
The woman smiled. But Laura knew she had been maneuvered into doing exactly what the Duke of Ravenswood wanted her to do.
Laura stood, handing Isabelle off to Jasper, who appeared eager to hold his niece again.
“Until tomorrow, sister.”
“I suppose so,” she said, and then followed the servant out of the room.
The woman hurried her down to the floor below and along the hall to a chamber she’d never expected or wanted to stand in again.
Her old chamber appeared unchanged, despite the nearly two years she’d been away from Ravenswood. The curtains were still blue, the windows tall, and the bed was…
She gulped. The bed and coverlet were exactly the same. She had spent every night of her marriage in that bed. The nights with Nash were the only happy memories she had of her marriage besides the time she’d spent with her children.
She turned her back on the vast expanse and the past firmly.
In pride of place before the fire was a huge steaming copper tub already filled with perfumed water. Laura sighed and drew closer as the servant added another steaming kettle of water. Rose petal had been scattered on the surface, just the way she’d always liked it. “I did miss this tub.”
“It’s ready. Can I help you undress, my lady?”
“No. I can manage,” Laura said, slipping out of her own garments, letting them fall to the floor. She wasted no time getting into the hot water to hide her old unsightly scars, not that this servant would be surprised by their existence since she’d seen them made fresh. She was eager to partake of the only indulgent luxury she’d ever truly enjoyed at Ravenswood, and twenty minutes hardly seemed long enough.
The long tub held enough hot water to cover her completely. She sank into it and then completely under the surface, holding her breath for as long as she could manage.
When her head broke the surface, she felt unbearably weary. Yet her uncertainty was gone and hope for a brighter, happier tomorrow lay ahead.
Nash would not fight her about the divorce. Perhaps coming home to Ravenswood now hadn’t been such a terrible decision. She had more freedom this time than she’d had before. She would revel in the novelty and be herself for the first time ever. If Nash didn’t like it, he could go to the devil, too.
She turned to the servant. “I want to thank you for your assistance.”
“I’m relieved to know you survived, my lady,” the woman whispered back, eyes darting to the door. “You did not deserve what was done to you.”
“No I did not,” Laura answered and her jaw clenched in remembrance.