Chapter 4 #3
Genevieve’s voice trailed off into silence, her expression conflicted and cautious. Theo’s mouth tighten with self-imposed anger at her reluctance. It was his fault she was having difficulty believing he was sincere, given all that had transpired between them this afternoon.
Theo didn’t try to persuade her as to his sincerity, he simply nodded.
Jaw hard with frustration, he turned away from her and tugged his coat on.
Genevieve was pinning her hat to her head as he collected his gloves and riding crop.
He took two steps toward the door before he stopped and turned back to her.
Head bent, the light pouring in from the window made the fiery highlights of gold in her auburn hair stand out.
It was as if God had sprinkled gold dust over her head, and she took his breath away at how beautiful she was.
At the moment, it was a cold beauty, but he was already learning the masks she wore.
He’d seen the fire beneath that still, porcelain expression, and he was determined to see it again.
“I’ll not speak to your father right away, but there’s one thing you need to accept, Genevieve.
I intend to marry you. I don’t give a damn about your past, and I’ll be a good husband.
You’ll have the same freedom and independence you have now,” he said with a quiet, firm resolve that made her look at him in confusion and disbelief.
“The day you become my wife, you’ll have access to a bank account no one else can touch, not even me.
It will give you the same independence and freedom you have now to do what makes you happy. ”
Green eyes darkening with an undefinable emotion, her lips parted slightly as if she were about to speak. Instead, a rebellious look settled on her face, and she shook her head.
“The day I agree to marry you or any man is the day hell will freeze over.” The flat note in her voice and her stubbornness made him grit his teeth as he fought not to snap at her.
“My offer is an honest one,” Theo said, trying to reassure her. “I can give—”
“No, there isn’t a man alive who can give me what I want.”
“Which is?” Theo snarled, no longer able to control his angry frustration.
“My soul,” she said in a soft, dispassionate voice.
With a dismissive wave of her hand, Genevieve silenced his objection before he could speak.
“I’m a realist, Lord Selbourne. My parents rescued me when I was nine, so I’m no longer in need of rescue.
You might think yourself capable of overlooking my past, but you’re wrong.
I know you will not, no matter how hard you try. ”
“Clearly, you don’t know me well, Genevieve. You’re mistaken in your assessment of my character.”
“I know everything I need to know, my lord. You don’t really want to marry anyone at all.
Ask yourself how you’ve managed to avoid marrying one of those addled-brained cows you always have on your arm.
Yet the first time you fuck me, you feel the urge to make me respectable.
It’s your attempt to make amends for your indiscretion this afternoon by offering me your hand in marriage. ”
Theo narrowed his gaze as he scowled at her.
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard her use such crude language.
In fact, it didn’t surprise him at all, considering where she’d spent the first part of her childhood, although it was a rare occasion when her words were so brutally harsh on the ear.
Genevieve had been exposed to far greater horrors than disreputable language.
But to suggest he was as shallow as so many others in the Marlborough Set made him realize Genevieve didn’t know him well at all.
“It seems I have a great deal of work to do when it comes to changing your opinion of me as to the question of my character,” he bit out through clenched teeth.
“Now, I have a question for you. Do you really think your brother would have been my best friend if he’d thought for one minute I was as shallow, judgemental, or cruel as you seem to believe? ”
The look of surprise on her face shot a bolt of grim satisfaction through Theo.
That was a strong warning salvo across the stubborn woman’s bow.
Confusion shimmered in her eyes as she met his gaze until it was replaced with what he was certain was remorse.
He needed to remember to use Peter’s name more often.
Theo knew his friend wouldn’t mind. If the other man were still alive, he’d be supporting Theo’s efforts to convince Genevieve he wasn’t the man she thought he was.
Although he was certain his friend would be furious that Theo had bedded Genevieve the way he had today or that he’d bedded her before marrying her.
“I’ll wait for you with the horses, and we can ride back to the abbey together.”
With that parting shot, Theo strode out of the croft, slamming the door closed behind him. He paused for a moment to breathe in a deep breath of the chilly air, then headed toward the small open shed where the horses were.
There wasn’t enough room to turn Amenhotep around, so Theo forced the chestnut-colored horse to back out of the shed. When the horse was clear of the makeshift stable, Theo led him to the rail running along the outside of the open structure.
Theo blew out a harsh breath of annoyance.
Christ Jesus, he was in one hell of a mess.
Genevieve’s reaction to his proposal and the words she’d flung at him had stung a great deal more than he cared to admit.
His pride had taken a beating several times in the past twenty minutes.
Worst of all, Genevieve wanted to be his lover, not his wife, and God help him, he was going to have a damned difficult time not giving way to her.
Amenhotep’s reins wrapped around the hitching rail several times of their own volition as he flung the leather straps over the top of the round beam.
The horse nudged his shoulder, and Theo absently reached into his coat pocket to retrieve a dried piece of apple.
As the horse crunched on the treat, Theo shoved a hand through his hair until his fingers began massaging his neck.
For not the first time since Peter’s death, Theo experienced a rush of despondency.
His friend had understood Genevieve better than anyone else, and Theo could use some of Peter’s wisdom at the moment.
Unexpectedly, he found himself wishing he still possessed even a small amount of the an dara sealladh that he’d had as a boy.
Although almost every child in the Rockwood family appeared to possess the ability from birth, most of the men in the family lost the gift before they reached adulthood.
The exceptions were Jamie and Uncle Percy.
It was the Rockwood women who, depending on the individual, were the ones blessed or cursed with the an dara sealladh.
Aunt Constance seemed to have the strongest gift of sight with her ability to speak with those who’d crossed over. The only other person who could match the strength of her gift was Jamie. As a child, Theo’s experience with the an dara sealladh had always made him uneasy and unsettled.
But at the moment, he would have gladly dealt with any discomfort for a chance to talk to Peter right now.
Theo’s friend had possessed the kind of wisdom one might expect in someone many years older.
It had been an astuteness acquired from his years surviving the streets of the East End.
And at the moment, he was in desperate need of his friend’s wisdom when it came to Genevieve.
Everything had changed the moment he’d learned of Peter’s murder.
His friend’s death had left a large void in his life, and Theo was certain things would have been vastly different if his friend had revealed the truth about himself and Genevieve.
If he’d known the two of them worked for the Secret Intelligence Service, Theo might have been able to save his friend’s life.
Even if he’d failed to do that, it was unlikely Genevieve would have been attacked, because she wouldn’t have gone into the East End without him.
But this afternoon his lack of control had made things even more complicated than he’d ever dreamed possible. As pleasurable as it had been, making love to Genevieve had been a mistake.
If Peter were still alive, the man would have beaten him senseless for bedding Genevieve. Theo wouldn’t have even tried to ward off his friend’s blows, because he knew he’d taken advantage of Genevieve, whether she’d been willing or not.
Worse, his error was compounded by having promised Peter he would watch over her if anything happened to his friend. This afternoon illustrated how difficult a task that would be. The woman had aroused unmitigated lust and desire inside him, while making him want to throttle her at the same time.
It wasn’t the first time he’d experienced the sensation where Genevieve was concerned.
There wasn’t anything about the woman that didn’t twist him into knots whenever she was near.
It was a constant state of feeling off-balance.
He’d never particularly cared for the sensation any more than he’d understood what it meant.
He had cared even less for the theory Peter had thrown at Theo several days before his death.
Staring out at the moors, the landscape in front of Theo faded until the past took hold of his thoughts as if it were yesterday. A week before Peter had been killed, the two of them had gone to Melton House for the weekly gathering of the Rockwoods.
The family dinner was a ritual that had been established soon after the tragedy at Westbrook Farms. The loss of two family members in that terrible blaze had emphasized to the Rockwoods how fleeting life was.
The realization had prompted the older members of the family to make a concerted effort to spend more time together.