Chapter 6 #4
“I cannot begin to comprehend the horrifying life you and Peter suffered as children. But the things Peter shared with me humbled me in the face of his character, strength, and his kind, gentle heart. That he was capable of still seeing the goodness in others, despite his childhood, is remarkable. So do not ever again try to suggest your grief is deeper than mine, because it is not. It might be different, but it is no less debilitating.”
The bitterness in his voice hung in the air like a tangible, snarling animal ready to shred and claw at anything in its path. Throwing himself backwards into the seat cushions, Theo closed his eyes, struggling to breathe as the band of grief around his chest tightened and constricted his lungs.
“I’m sorry, Theo, so terribly sorry,” she whispered. “Forgive me.”
Still enraged, he ignored her apology. Outside the carriage, the muted beat of hooves hitting cobblestones was the only sound pushing its way past the thunder of his heartbeat in his ears.
As the moments passed, Theo experienced a modicum of relief as the band around his chest relaxed, making it easier to breathe.
“That was uncalled for, Theo. The two of you might not hurt in the same way, but I told you how vulnerable she is. For a man in love with the woman, I expected better of you.”
The sudden sound of Peter’s voice echoing so clearly in his ears made Theo flinch.
Christ Jesus, even from beyond the grave his best friend’s words sliced into him so deep it was impossible to ignore them, and he closed his eyes in regret.
What the hell was wrong with him? He didn’t have to be in love with Genevieve to know his sorrow was no less deep than hers.
His loss was of a different kind than hers, but the difference was that Genevieve had been tossed out into an ocean without an anchor the moment Peter had died. It was a truth he’d failed to recognize until this precise moment.
Even after what had happened between them in the croft, Theo was a miserable failure when it came to understanding just how alone she must feel, even with him. Uncertain how to make amends for his brutal words, Theo rolled his shoulders in discomfort as a small breeze of icy air brushed over him.
Frowning, he opened his eyes at the sudden drop in temperature.
The chill wrapping around him was even more wintry than the tension between him and Genevieve.
Light flooded the interior of the carriage, then winked out as they rolled past a streetlamp.
Huddled in the corner of the carriage, the shadows hid Genevieve’s profile once more.
Theo released an inaudible sigh and froze as a small white cloud formed in front of him as cold air mixed with his warm breath.
“Goddamnit, Selbourne, look at me.”
Startled, Theo’s gaze flitted toward the sound and grew rigid as he saw the faint outline next to Genevieve. Stunned, he stared at the silhouette growing sharper on the seat opposite him as another white cloud appeared in front of him as he blew out a harsh breath of amazement.
“It’s about time. You always refused to believe you possessed even the slightest touch of the an dara sealladh, but here we are, you stubborn arse.”
“Christ Jesus, I must be losing my mind,” he muttered beneath his breath. Theo darted a look at Genevieve, but she didn’t give any indication she’d heard him. Next to her, Peter’s shadow shook its head, and a sigh whispered through the air.
“You really are an idiot, you know.”
“I am not.” Theo barely moved his lips, and the sound of Peter snorting with incredulity mocked him from the opposite side of the vehicle.
“Yes, you are. First, you avoid Genevieve for years because you’ve an unruly cock.”
“And you went and got your throat slit before you could help me…” Theo’s voice strengthened involuntarily, and he darted another glance at Genevieve.
“She won’t hear you when you’re barely speaking.”
“Of course she will, she’s less than three feet away.” Again, he barely moved his lips as he snapped his reply.
“Then let her.” Peter uttered a sound of disgust at Theo’s amazement. “Why do you think I’m here, you arrogant bastard? She’s wanted to talk to me for some time now, and you’re the only way I can make that happen.”
“And exactly how do I make her believe you’re here?” Theo arched his eyebrow at the ghost, still uncertain he wasn’t just asleep and having a vivid dream.
“Just say, be a phoenix.” Skeptical of what he was seeing and hearing, Theo shook his head, and the shadow leaned forward until moonlight streamed across and through Peter’s familiar features. “For fuck’s sake, Theo. Say it. She’ll know it’s me.”
“Genevieve,” he said with reluctance as he shifted his gaze toward her, but she didn’t stir. Feeling like a fool, he cleared his throat. “Genevieve, be a phoenix.”
For several seconds, she didn’t move then turned her head toward him. To his dismay, her cheeks were wet, and regret tightened his gut.
“What did you say?” she whispered, her voice full of bewilderment.
“Be a phoenix.”
“Where did you hear that?” she bit out in a hoarse voice.
“Tonight is the first time I’ve ever heard the phrase.”