Chapter 10 Georgiana
Pemberley in December was a painting come to life.
Elizabeth had heard it described, by Mrs. Bennet, by Caroline, by every person in the county who had ever passed within ten miles of it, but no description had prepared her for the reality.
The house rose from its parkland like something that had grown rather than been built, golden stone warm even under grey winter skies, windows reflecting the bare oaks and the silver ribbon of the lake.
It was beautiful in the way that certain things are beautiful -- not because they demand admiration but because they cannot help it.
"You are staring," Darcy said from beside her in the carriage.
"I am taking the measure of my future home. This requires staring."
"And what is your assessment?"
"It is very large."
"That is your assessment? It is very large?"
"I am a woman of economy. Why use ten words when three will do?" She looked at him, and the nervousness she had been concealing for the last twenty miles leaked through. "Fitzwilliam. What if she does not like me?"
He took her hand. The carriage rolled up the drive, wheels crunching on gravel, and he held her fingers between both of his and said, with absolute certainty, "She will love you."
"You cannot know that."
"I know my sister. And I know you. The two things I know best in the world. She will love you."
Georgiana Darcy was waiting in the entrance hall, and the first thing Elizabeth noticed was how young she was.
Not young in the abstract, intellectual way Elizabeth had understood from the letter -- sixteen, a child -- but young in the particular, heartbreaking way of a girl standing too straight, her hands clasped too tightly, her smile too careful.
She was beautiful in a fragile, unfinished way, as though the woman she would become was visible beneath the girl she still was, and her eyes -- dark, like her brother's -- held the particular wariness of someone who had been hurt and was still learning how to trust.
"Miss Bennet." Georgiana's curtsy was perfect and stiff. "I am so pleased to -- that is, my brother has told me so much about -- I mean, welcome to Pemberley."
The speech had clearly been rehearsed and had clearly gone wrong, and the flush that climbed Georgiana's cheeks made Elizabeth's heart crack.
"Miss Darcy." Elizabeth abandoned propriety and took both of Georgiana's hands.
"Your brother has told me about you as well, and I have been counting the days until this meeting.
I understand you play the pianoforte beautifully.
I play it terribly. I suspect we shall complement each other perfectly. "
Georgiana blinked. Then something happened to her face that Elizabeth would remember for years: the careful mask dissolved, and underneath it was a smile so genuine, so relieved, so full of grateful surprise that someone had spoken to her as though she were a normal girl rather than a porcelain object to be handled with caution, that it transformed her entirely.
"I -- yes. I would like that very much."
Darcy, watching from the doorway, had to look away. He fixed his gaze on the portrait of his father in the entrance hall and swallowed hard and told himself that the burning behind his eyes was merely the cold.
The days at Pemberley unfolded with a gentle rhythm that surprised Elizabeth.
She had expected formality -- the rigid schedule of a great house, the impersonal grandeur of servants and protocols.
Instead, she found warmth. The housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds, greeted her with genuine pleasure and an immediate, comfortable familiarity that suggested she had already decided Elizabeth was precisely what the household needed.
The staff were attentive without being oppressive.
The house itself, despite its size, had corners of intimacy: the morning room where sunlight pooled on worn velvet chairs, the music room where Georgiana played with the curtains open to the garden, the library -- always the library -- where two stories of books rose around a fire that never went out.
Georgiana and Elizabeth fell into friendship the way rivers fall into the sea: naturally, inevitably, as though the connection had existed before they did and was merely waiting to be discovered.
They played piano together, Elizabeth's cheerful incompetence making Georgiana laugh in a way Darcy said he had not heard in over a year.
They walked the grounds, Elizabeth's curiosity drawing Georgiana out of her shell with questions about the gardens, the tenants, the history of the house, until the shy girl who could barely complete a sentence was chattering about rose varieties and local folklore with an animation that amazed her brother.
"She talks," Darcy said to Elizabeth on the second evening, standing in the gallery while Georgiana played in the music room below. The disbelief in his voice was so genuine it was nearly comic. "She talks to you as though you have known each other for years. She barely speaks to me some days."
"She adores you," Elizabeth said. "She is simply afraid of disappointing you."
"Disappointing me? She could never --"
"She does not know that. You are her brother and her guardian and the person whose opinion matters most in the world, and she is sixteen and carries the weight of believing she nearly ruined your family's name.
She is not quiet because she has nothing to say.
She is quiet because she is terrified of saying the wrong thing. "
Darcy was silent for a long moment. They stood in the gallery, surrounded by generations of Darcy portraits, the weight of family and legacy pressing in from every frame, and Elizabeth watched him process her words with the seriousness he brought to everything.
"How do you see so clearly?" he asked. "You have known her two days."
"I see her because I recognize her. She is the person I would have been if I had endured what she endured.
The difference is that I was lucky enough to have parents who let me be loud and opinionated and difficult, and she had the misfortune of being raised to be perfect.
" She touched his arm. "She does not need perfect, Fitzwilliam.
She needs safe. She needs to know that she can make mistakes and still be loved. "
He covered her hand with his. "You will be an extraordinary sister."
"I intend to be. I also intend to teach her to be impertinent. Fair warning."
He almost smiled. That nearly-thing she had once catalogued as his closest approach to human warmth was evolving, she realized. It was wider now, slower to fade, closer to the genuine article. She was watching Fitzwilliam Darcy learn to smile, and the process was both painful and beautiful.
That afternoon, Georgiana sought Elizabeth out in the music room. She was carrying a book of Chopin etudes and a determination that sat oddly on her gentle features.
"Miss Bennet -- Elizabeth -- may I speak with you about something private?"
"Of course."
Georgiana sat at the piano bench and placed her hands on the keys without playing, a gesture Elizabeth was beginning to recognize as self-soothing. Her fingers rested on the ivory as though drawing strength from the instrument itself.
"My brother told you about Ramsgate. In his letter."
Elizabeth's chest tightened. "He did."
"I am glad." Georgiana's voice was small but steady. "I did not want you to learn of it from someone else, or not at all, or -- I wanted you to know, because you are going to be my sister, and I do not wish to begin that with secrets."
Elizabeth moved to the bench and sat beside her. Their shoulders touched. Outside, the Pemberley gardens were silver with frost, the lake a sheet of hammered pewter under the low sky.
"You do not need to tell me anything more than you wish," Elizabeth said.
"I wish to tell you everything." Georgiana played a single note, soft as a whisper.
"I loved him. Mr. Wickham. I know that seems foolish now, but I was fifteen, and he was kind to me, and he told me that my father would have wanted us together, and I believed him because I wanted it to be true.
I wanted someone who chose me, not because of my fortune or my brother's name, but because of me. "
Elizabeth said nothing. She placed her hand over Georgiana's on the keys.
"He did not choose me," Georgiana continued.
"He chose my thirty thousand pounds. When my brother came and the elopement was prevented, Mr. Wickham looked at me as though I were -- nothing.
As though the girl he had been courting was an invention, a character in a play, and now the curtain had fallen and the actor could stop pretending. "
Her voice did not break. It had the carefully maintained steadiness of someone who had told this story to herself many times in the dark and had practiced the telling until it no longer shattered her. But her hand trembled beneath Elizabeth's.
"Georgiana." Elizabeth squeezed her fingers. "You were not foolish. You were young, and lonely, and you trusted someone who deliberately earned that trust in order to exploit it. The fault is his. It was always his."
"My brother says the same."
"Your brother is right. He is annoyingly right about many things, though I will deny saying so if quoted."
Georgiana smiled. It was a watery, fragile thing, but it was real, and Elizabeth felt a surge of protective fury so fierce it startled her: fury at Wickham, at Mrs. Younge, at every circumstance that had conspired to wound this gentle, brave girl who was sitting at a piano in her brother's house trying to find the courage to trust again.