Chapter Three
ELLA
A s soon as he comes back, I’m going to tell him about Macie. The words sit in my throat like a bubble waiting to burst, and I find myself sitting in the spare exam room chair, messing with the thread of my sweatpants. God, I’m about to tell my one-night stand from years ago that he’s a dad and I look like a fucking hobo.
I can’t do anything about it, though. Seconds later, the door is pushed open by Liam, who peeks his head in. “Miss Harding? Radiology should send someone down soon to grab you for your x-rays.”
“Thank you.” Brynn smiles before glancing at me with a look that says, you got this!
Sighing, I stand and take a few steps toward the door as Liam opens it more to stand in the doorway. Now that the initial shock has worn off, I can appreciate how handsome he is again. Light scruff lines his face, and I have to suppress a shudder at the memory of how it felt against my bare thighs. His sandy blond hair is pushed back like he’s been running his hands through it, and my fingers itch to do the same.
Holy hell. Focus, Ella. How can he still have this effect on me? It doesn’t matter. I have something pressing to tell him, and it is more important than my suddenly raging libido. I just need to take the first step, which is actually talking to him.
Finally gathering up my courage, I say, “Liam, can I?—”
At the same time, he starts, “Ella, I wanted to?—”
I cut myself off, realizing he was trying to talk, but he stares at me expectantly, and we both realize that we’re waiting for the other person to speak. I let out a little laugh, and he chuckles, amused at how in sync we still are after all this time.
Maybe this will be easier than I thought. Our chemistry is still there, and something in my body calls me to move closer to him. I can tell he feels the same pull because he leans toward me ever so slightly. I swear something akin to a magnetic pull pulses between us, fueled by a cosmic connection neither of us can resist.
My mouth goes dry, and before I can say anything, a nurse pops by, speaking to Liam. “Doctor, your mother is on line three for you. Something about your fiancée? She’s being really insistent.”
And just like that, the world is ripped out from underneath me.
Fiancée. Of course. Why would he be single? He’s an amazing guy. I only had one night with him. It’s no surprise that he was snatched up, especially considering he’s a doctor.
God, I feel like such an idiot for thinking he’d be single after so many years.
Liam’s face looks at the nurse like if he concentrates hard enough, her head will melt.
“Thank you,” Liam says tightly before he shakes his head, frustration clear on his face. He turns to me. “Ella, would you give me a minute please while I straighten something out?”
All I can do is nod numbly, dumbstruck by this turn of events, as Liam walks away.
Why is he mad at the nurse? I know what I want to talk to him about, but what was he trying to tell me?
Probably that he’s engaged and I shouldn’t eye-fuck him in the middle of an exam room. I can’t believe just how poorly I read that situation. Here I am, imagining a connection with this man that defies all logic, and he’s fucking engaged.
I turn around right as Brynn looks up from her phone, a pained look on her face. “I tried not to listen, but…”
Giving her a tight smile, I shake my head. “This changes everything. It’s not even that I can’t be with him, it’s?—”
The door pushes open again and there’s a hospital staff member in the doorway with a wheelchair. “Hi there, Miss Harding. Are you ready to head over to get that arm checked out?”
Brynn shoots me an apologetic glance before turning to them. “Yep! Thank you.”
A moment later, I’m alone in the room with my thoughts. If I tell Liam about Macie, it’s not just him I’m bringing into her life, it’s some woman who could be angry or upset that she even exists and take it out on her. My girl does not deserve that.
I mean, evil stepmother stereotypes exist for a reason, right? There has to be at least some truth to them. No, I’m going to keep Macie and myself in our own little bubble where she’ll never be forced to befriend mice, clean floors, and miss the ball because her evil stepmom is jealous of her beauty! Given, I’d have to be dead for all of that to happen, but I don’t know that woman, she could be the kind to stage my death and make it look like an accident.
Woah. That kind of ran away from me.
But the idea is the same. I don’t know that woman and I’m not willing to subject Macie to that unknown factor right now. Liam has moved on and I’ve survived the last four years by myself just fine, thank you very much.
At least now I have some closure, and I won’t have to wonder what became of him. He’s a successful doctor with a successful fiancée in a fancy-ass hospital.
I might be assuming on the fiancée’s part, but it fits in with the heartbreaking image I’ve created in my mind.
A moment later, the door creaks open, and I’m about to comment on how fast the x-ray was when Liam comes back into the room, leaving the door cracked.
“Ella, I need to explain something to you?—”
His words are cut off by a nurse rushing into the room.
“Doctor Stokes! You’re needed in trauma one!”
Liam glances between the two of us for only a moment before sighing and dropping his head.
“Please don’t leave without talking to me,” he says, his gray-blue eyes pleading, before he turns around and leaves the room.
Yeah, I’m definitely leaving without talking to him.
By the time I am leaving, Brynn is walking next to me with a cast on her wrist, and I walk with her toward the hospital exit, hoping I can escape without Liam seeing me.
“Wait, Ella!” Footsteps clamber after us, and Brynn looks up at me, worry lining her brow.
“I’ll meet you up there in just a second,” I tell her, before turning around to face Liam, who chased after us.
He opens his mouth to speak, but if he’s about to tell me that he’s so sorry but he’s perfectly happy with his perfect fiancée and perfect job, I might just break down right here in the hospital. “I wanted to?—”
I can’t do it. I can’t listen to how wonderful and perfect his life is without me, so I interrupt him before he can say anything else. “It was really good to see you, Liam. I’m happy for you. It looks like you have an amazing job and will soon be a married man.”
His eyes widen and he rushes out, “Wait, that’s not?—”
“Please.” I hold up my hands and let out a heavy sigh. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t owe me any kind of explanation. Just know… that I never forgot about you. That I’m happy for you.” Then, with one last shuddering breath, I take a step back. “Goodbye, Liam.” My voice rings with finality as I turn and head out the double doors, leaving Liam behind me. He doesn’t follow as I approach Brynn, who is waiting for me just outside.
I actually manage to hold it together until we’re in the car, but as soon as I slide into the driver’s seat, glance at the hospital doors, and see that he’s gone, all bets are off as the waterworks start.
All these years, I hadn’t realized it, but I had been holding onto the hope that someday I could see Liam again, and he could be a part of Macie’s life. A part of my life. In the span of a few hours, that’s all been ripped away and I have to accept that he’s never going to really be her dad. Macie is never going to know her father, and I am never going to be with the one man who connected to my soul in a way that had felt like fate.
But apparently, fate is a bitch.
Tears are running down my face as my forehead meets the steering wheel, ugly, gasping sobs escaping me as I purge all hope from my body.
I am absolutely destroyed.
I’m vaguely aware of Brynn’s non-casted arm coming down on my back and rubbing soothing circles.
“Oh, honey,” she soothes, the feeling of her hand on my back grounding me. “Are you… Are you sure you don’t want to go back inside and tell him?”
“I can’t.” I shake my head vehemently. “It’s so stupid, but every time I found him in my head, he had spent the last four years pining for me. He was elated that I finally found him and welcomed Macie and me with open arms. Now, though? This is terrifying. What if this woman… What if she’s horrible to my baby?” I choke out. “Or, what if they try to get custody of her? What kind of judge would give custody to a single mom who relies on her parents for childcare instead of a double-income house—especially if one of the incomes is from a doctor?”
Brynn pulls me into a hug, her cast clunking awkwardly against my back, and we both let out a huff of laughter.
“Screw him,” she says fiercely, holding me tight. “Screw men in general. Cooper pretended he didn’t fuck me for hours last night, and Liam left behind the best damn thing that could have ever happened to him. Pfft. Engaged.” She pulls back to look at me, rolling her eyes. “We don’t need them, Ell. It’s Mommy, Auntie Brynn, and Macie. We’ll be some kind of weird family unit and move to the mountains where we can start an all-women compound. No men allowed. And we’ll do ritualistic sacrifices every full moon. I always thought I’d be a good cult leader.”
That has me snorting a laugh as she releases me, and I turn to start the car. “If you ever became a cult leader, I think the entire world would be in trouble.”
“I mean it though, Ell,” she says seriously, looking at me. “Not about the cult thing, obviously. At least not right now, anyway.” She gives me a devilish smirk. “But you don’t need him. You’re an amazing mom, and Macie has turned out more than fine so far. Because of you.”
“Thanks, Brynn,” I sniffle, my heart warming at her words. She’s always been there for me, ever since we were kids. I don’t know what I would have done without her. We’ve been through so much together, and I know that no matter what happens, I’ll have Brynn by my side.
As I start to drive back to the hotel, though, I can’t help but think that she is wrong about one thing. I do need Liam. I’ve needed him since the first moment I saw him at that bar in Boston, and I still need him now.
But there’s nothing I can do about it.