12. Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
Silas
I was sure Abbie would rip me apart so messaging her was a crazy idea, but after talking with Wilder about what I wanted for my future, I realized Ella wasn’t the only person who was due an apology. Abbie had to manage the aftermath of my leaving. Losing their stepmother coupled with their father having dementia, makes her life hard.
I woke early to help Officer Baker with more chores on the farm. I want to see Ella, but she needs rest and Baker needs help. Based on her text message this morning, I’ll see her tomorrow for our tutoring session, which means she must be a lot better.
Grunting, I lift a few fence posts into the bed of my truck. The cows knocked through another part of the fence yesterday, so that’s my work for the day. Truthfully, the whole fence needs to be replaced, but for now we’re playing whack-a-mole mending it as Baker can afford the supplies.
As usual, the work goes in a steady rhythm that has my mind settled. I like that there’s always something new to do, and even tasks like fixing fences changes things up. It’s hard work, but it’s satisfying in ways I can’t explain. I take a short break for water and to shed my coat, but I’m distracted by a woman walking across the field. Upon realizing it’s Ella, I drop both items in the truck bed and meet her halfway.
When I approach, she smiles wider than I’ve seen since we’ve reconnected. I love to see her this happy, but I have no idea what’s got her smiling like that.
“Hey, hot stuff,” she says when I’m in earshot.
I pause, taken aback by her brazen comment. The way my cheeks light up cannot be missed, so I remove my gloves and try not to look right at her. I shouldn’t be this embarrassed by her complimenting me, but something about it is different. Almost like she’s purposely trying to get a reaction, but why? We only agreed to try this dating thing again a couple of days ago.
“Uh, what are you doing here? I thought we were tutoring later?” I ask.
Glancing at her, I notice her smile is still wide and her eyes are so bright with happiness, I can’t ignore it. I’m about to ask her what’s going on when she steps forward and deep into my personal space. I have to look down to see her, and she has to crane her neck back to look up at me.
“Yeah, but I wanted to see you sooner than that.” Her hair is tied into a loose ponytail but stray tendrils frame her face. I want to touch them, but refrain and refocus on her behavior. She’d been so guarded and closed off, only slowly opening back up to me, and now she’s right here, purposely seeking me out. Calling me flirtatious names. Looking up at me with what I can only describe as a kiss me now gaze. My brain is more scrambled now than when I try to understand tax law.
“Oh. Um, I’m fixing a fence again. It’s going to be a few more minutes, but then I can shower and take you for lunch if you want.”
“Sounds perfect. Anything I can help with today?” She crosses her arms behind her back and rocks back on her heels. Her lips tremble and she shivers a little, but tries to smile to hide it. She’s cold. I should offer my coat, but it’s probably sweaty. I glance at my truck and figure it’s probably warmer than standing in the open, even if it isn’t running.
“Not really. I only have to string the wire then I’m done. Wanna sit in the truck and warm up?” I point over my shoulder.
She shrugs one shoulder and reaches for my hand. I grasp hers and lead her to my truck, more confused than the day I was born. Messing up this moment with questions about why it’s happening is probably about the dumbest thing I could do, but if I don’t ask her why she’s suddenly so happy to be around me, I might blow it up with assumptions that are incorrect. Opening my truck door, I work through how to ask her what’s going on without seeming accusatory or frustrated, neither of which I am, but that’s how it is for me. I say things wrong all the time.
Once the door is open, Ella steps in front of me and waits. When I do nothing, she blinks up at me and says, “Well?”
“Uh…well, what?”
“You don’t have a sidestep and the thing is parked in ten inches of mud, Silas. I need picking up.” She lifts her arms to give me better access to her waist.
“Okay, what’s going on?” I ask, completely disregarding my previous determination to pick grownup words and arrange them in an order and with a tone that would not detonate this woman’s temper. Not that her temper is all that monstrous, but coming from a place of negative points, I can’t afford to go deeper in the red.
“I don’t want my shoes to get muddy?” she says, seemingly confused.
“I…okay…but…” I scratch the back of my neck, dumbfounded. Still, no sense wasting an opportunity, so I put a hand on either side of her waist and lift her as she jumps. Once in the passenger seat, she grasps my shoulders and pulls me forward. I’m leaning into the truck, bracing myself against the seat on either side of her while her legs dangle out of the truck. One false move, and I’m either eating mud or getting slapped. Since I’m not fond of either idea, I glance up at her to get an idea of how close I am to the end of my life.
The second our eyes connect she smiles and leans forward. I’m stone-still until her lips brush against mine, and even then I wait a few breaths before determining that she truly means to kiss me. Her arms snake around my neck and pull me closer, and something in my brain clicks.
This is happening.
She pulls free long enough to search my face. “Silas,” she whispers, and everything else slips away.
Mud? What mud? Who cares about all of the mud when a beautiful woman wants you to kiss her? I step closer, sinking a good inch into the goop, but it frees my arms to do other things besides hold me up. Like wrap them around her waist, tucking her closer to me as she goes in for another kiss. This time, I meet her, and it’s like no time has passed since our last kiss. Her sweet scent, her gentle caress, the way she toys with the tag in my shirt collar…it’s all the same.
Why did I leave her? How did I ever walk away from this and believe I could survive it? Sure, the work I did was important, but why did I choose to leave how I did?
Fear. Yes, fear. I let fear win the day when I should have trusted God, then trusted Ella with the truth. It could have been different, but now I have a chance to make it right. Wilder could be right. Maybe this is God giving me another chance.
Ella whimpers and pulls back a little, enough for me to know she doesn’t want to stop kissing me, but she has things to say. Her cheeks are pink, but I don’t think it’s from the cold. I’m hanging on to this moment for dear life, suddenly afraid this is actually goodbye and not a new start for us.
She licks her lips and finally looks at me again. “Silas, I—”
“Silas! Silas!” Officer Baker and his grandson, Judson, speed up to us on ATVs. Baker waves us down so I help Ella out of the truck and she follows me closer to them. They cut the machines, but neither of them looks happy. I start to wonder what I did wrong.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, my mind drifting back to all the times this man has looked at me exactly the way he is right now, with frustration and desperation.
“A calf is missing. We can’t find her or her mama anywhere. We need help,” Judson says.
I know how much this farm is bleeding. They can’t afford to lose a single cow, so I nod and jog toward the truck, only Ella is here and I’m not sure what to do with her at the moment. My question is answered when she hauls herself into the passenger seat, forgetting about all the mud she didn’t want on her shoes before.
“You’re coming?” I ask, falling into the driver’s seat.
“Of course. It’s a baby moo moo,” she says as if I’m a lunatic for thinking she wouldn’t want to search vast acreage for a calf. “Looks like they’re going that way. Maybe we should check down by the creek?
“Good idea. It’s been soggy and flooded with all of the snow melting and refreezing lately.” It’s been one of those winters where we get loads of snow, followed by days warm enough to melt it before another storm dumps more snow. It’s possible the mother and baby went to drink and found themselves stuck in the mud.
Even driving across the field is a mess, and the truck spins out a few times. Ella holds on tight while constantly scanning the fields for any sign of the cows. The herd is in the next field over, so when we approach the gate, I have to stop and get out to open the gate door. That’s when I hear it. The desperate moo of a cow, muffled by a choking sound.
“I think you’re right!” I shout toward Ella and point toward the creek. “I hear something!” I jog back to the truck, pull through, and run back to shut the gate. All the while, Ella is on the edge of her seat, ready to bolt and go help a baby cow. Once the gate is secure so we don’t lose more of the herd, I maneuver the truck down a slight embankment that leads to the creek.
“I’m going to have to stop here or the truck will get stuck down there. I’ll go down and see what’s there and let you know,” I say.
“All right. Be careful. It looks really sludgy.” She scoots to the edge of the bench seat and stares out the windshield. She’s right. I could easily get stuck in the thick slop, and if that’s what happened to the cow and her baby, I can’t imagine how we’ll get them out.
I manage to venture close enough to the water without sinking to get a good view. Sure enough, a few yards down, there is a calf stuck in the mud and his mama is screaming about it. There is no way to get the truck into the area, so we’ll need one of the ATVs and some rope. I’m not equipped with either, so I head back to the truck.
I’m winded once I reach Ella. “Found it. It’s stuck in the mud on the bank, but we’ll never get the truck down there.” I huff a little and wipe my brow, trying to guess the easiest way to manage the situation. Ella waits patiently, and if it weren’t for the situation at hand, I’d question why she’s toying with the hair at the nape of my neck.
“Want me to drive out and see if I can find them?” she asks. “Is Lorelai Mays able to treat large animals? Maybe I can call her while I search?”
“That’s a good idea, but I’ll drive. I can’t do anything standing here by myself. Go ahead and call Lorelai, while I try to get Baker.” I round the truck and get back behind the wheel. I doubt either of the Bakers will hear a phone ringing, but it’s worth a try. It rings while I maneuver back to the gate.
Fortunately, they are both headed our way on their ATVs and meet us at the gate. I park and let them in before motioning down to the creek. “Calf is stuck in the mud. Can’t get the truck down there, so we’ll need one of these. You have rope?”
Judson yanks some out of the satchel on the back of his ATV and tosses it to me. “Where abouts?”
I point back down the creek again. “Between those two trees there is where I entered. Both cows are about twenty yards to the right. Can you get in there?”
“Should be able to. I’ll meet you down there.”
“All right,” I say and he speeds off. “Ella is calling Lorelai Mays to come check them out, that okay?” I ask Officer Baker.
“Sure enough, probably gonna need her.” He nods and follows his grandson down the embankment.
Back inside the truck, Ella tucks her phone into her pocket. “Lorelai is on her way, but it’ll be a little bit. She’s leaving the office now.”
There isn’t a cell in my body that doesn’t want to pick apart that kiss, but there’s no time. It was fantastic, and the sweet, floral scent of Ella still invades my mind. It will, without a doubt, be part of our next conversation, but we’re approaching the point of no return so I have to park again or get stuck in the mud. Ella falls out of the truck before I have a chance to open her door.
“Careful, it’s thick and deep,” I say.
“I’ll wait here and get the truck bed ready for the calf,” she says, already digging around in the backseat for whatever she can find. She pulls out a canvas tarp and a wool blanket and gets busy tossing things into the bed of the truck.
Sprinting towards the tree line, I spy Judson and his grandfather setting up. Judson has wrangled and roped more cows than me, so it’s no surprise when he manages to get it around the calf’s neck with one throw. It seems the mother cow isn’t stuck, but only frustrated. Her mooing and pacing are distracting, but I manage to stay on task.
“I have to get down there. She’s stuck too deep to pull her out by her neck like this,” Judson says. “Here, tie this around you, and I’ll anchor you.”
Figures. I’m not a tiny guy, but Judson is all muscle. I’m less likely to sink as deep, so I wrap the rope around me and ease into the sloshy bank. It’s cold down here, and the creek is half iced over. It isn’t too deep and the water moves slowly, but it’s enough to panic the calf. With each thrash, she sinks deeper into the mud. She’s up to her shoulders now, and when I approach, she thrashes out again.
“Easy, girl. It’s all right.” I’ve never soothed a cow before, but it seems to work. I keep talking to her until I can work my arms around her, wiggle her free enough to get the rope under her for Judson to pull her out without hurting her. “All right, give that a go!” I shout, my lips shivering. I’m up to my knees in slop, wondering how on earth it got so deep around a creek that isn’t even deep enough for fishing.
Judson and his father pull a few times while I work to free the calf’s legs. Finally, with a squelch, she pops free and Judson drags her up the embankment. Mama cow moos and chases him down, but Officer Baker ropes her and keeps her at bay so she doesn’t get injured or harm one of us.
“Can you get out?” Judson asks.
“Yeah, I got it!” I flail a little, but manage to squish my way back up the little hill. Once at the top, I look down at myself, covered with mud from head to foot.
“Hop on and hold her,” Judson says, so I do as I’m told and sit behind him on the ATV, holding a baby cow in my arms. It’s been an interesting day filled with unexpected events, but I can’t say I’ve hated any of it. I’m nearly exhausted, but the invigorating chill of the winter air keeps me going.
Back at the truck, Ella works to warm her hands. When we come into her view, she squeals and leaps into the back of the truck, ready to snuggle a calf. It’s equal parts adorable and amazing, because I’m pretty sure this woman can do anything. She’s always been up for and ready for anything that comes her way, including my ridiculous antics and misbehavior. She’s pretty perfect, and I pray that kiss wasn’t goodbye. Sure didn’t feel like it, but a guy can never be too sure.
“Here, give her to me and I’ll warm her up,” Ella says, her arms open with the blanket ready to wrap around the calf. Judson hands her off and I realize I’m about to destroy the inside of the truck with my muddy self. It’ll cost me a pretty penny to get it cleaned, but at least the calf is safe.
We make it back to the main house with little trouble and find Lorelai waiting for us. I remember that she and Ezra have some weird sort of romantic standoff going on, but I don’t believe it has impacted her love for the rest of the Thomas boys, even the naughtier ones.
“Hey, Lore,” I say, almost busting my rear end when I get out of the truck. I’m slicked up all around like a filthy hog, which must be a funny sight judging by her laughter.
“You’re a mess. Where’s that baby?” she asks, grabbing a bag.
I motion in the bed of the truck where Ella and the baby have bonded. It’s snuggled against her, wrapped in the blanket, half asleep. I lower the truck gate and take Lorelai’s bag so she can get in. Judson and his grandfather pull up beside us and cut the ATVs. They’re both covered in as much mud as I am. We’ll all need hosing off before we can go inside.
Lorelai manages to pry the calf from Ella and examines her. The calf is a little cold, but it’s nothing a good meal and a warm night in the barn won’t fix. She gives the baby a clean bill of health and hops from the truck. Judson escorts her to her car, chats for a bit, then waves her off while I watch the absolute love of my life coo to a cow. And the first thing that comes to mind isn’t that she would be a good vet. It isn’t that she’s a sweet person. It’s what an amazing mother she will be. The second thought that pops into my head, is that I want them to be my kids too.
I’m not letting Ella Marshall get away, even if I have to beg and plead my case until my dying breath. Even if I have to walk over hot coals, leap into a frigid ocean, swim with hungry sharks…whatever she wants is hers because I can’t live without her.