– Sammy –
Freedom
He pulls me against his side oh so casually, like we’ve been together for years as opposed to three hours, and he drops a juicy kiss on my forehead just as we cross the black top of our school’s parking lot. “You need to relax, Sammy.”
“You need to get off me. Everyone is staring.”
“Let ‘em stare. Everyone already thinks we’re together.”
I try to shove him away with my elbow. “Because you wouldn’t shut up about it!”
“Worked out for me in the end, didn’t it?” He leans away and looks down into my eyes, as his moppy hair dangles past his brows and his lips spread in a huge goofy grin. “Relax. Nothing changes, except now I get to kiss you and you get to admit out loud that you think I’m hot.”
“Well, well, well.” Luca Lenaghan struts toward us the way only someone with supreme bullshit levels of confidence can, and he looks me up and down from top to toes. “I see our girl finally relented. Or you found the chloroform.”
“Ha,” Sam scoffs. “Thinks he’s funny.” He squeezes me under his arm. “Luc. Meet my beautiful girlfriend, Sammy Ricardo. Ricci, meet my brother, best friend, band mate, and all around annoying pest, Luc.”
“I should take offense to that, jackass.”
My entire body breaks out in nervous shakes as Luc steps forward and literally tugs me from Sam’s arms. He holds me so tight, I wonder how I could ever live without his hugs again, but then Sam pulls me back and hugs me even tighter and warmer and better.
“She’s mine,” he grumbles at Luc. “Go find your own.”
“I’m happy for you guys.” Luc slaps Sam on the shoulder. “I really am. I like giving you shit, but I’m happy to see my brother happy.”
“Aww, ain’t this a pretty picture.” My eyes snap from Luc’s to Angelo’s, and I feel my poor face flush. I’m like a lighthouse in the night. I can’t stop the stupid blush and when it comes around, everyone can see it. “I knew your creepin’ yesterday would be good news for us.”
“You were creepin’, Ricci?”
“No--”
“Yup. She was trying to get your attention.”
“Aww, Ricci.” Sam leans down and kisses my cheek for a long noisy minute. “That makes my heart feel good. I knew my pestering was working.”
“You can all shut up now.”
“Well hey there, new girl.” Marcus Macchio, the fourth and final member of Sam’s band sidles up to our group with a sly smirk. It doesn’t matter a damn that Luc and Marc are both younger than I am. All four guys are basically all man already. They’re still a little skinny, but they’re bigger than most other guys in our grade and they sure look and talk grown up. “I guess the chloroform worked then, huh?”
“Jesus!” Sam snaps. “Can you guys shut up about chloroform? She’ll have me arrested.”
“Do you actually own a bottle of chloroform?”
He looks down at me with a shy smile. “No, Ricci. I swear. But I’d have been open to it if you kept lying to yourself.”
“So I guess she’s in then?”
My eyes snap back up to Marcus’ in question. “In?”
“He’s got his arms around you in public, which means you finally gave in and agreed to… something.”
“Uh-huh…”
“So you’re in. Welcome to the group, baby girl. I mean, we’ve had your back for years already, but now I can say it out loud. You need help, call one of us. You need a date to prom, call him. Bitches being bitchy, tell us. You need fifty dollars, ask any of us and we’ll spot you.”
I look from face to face and take in the genuine tenderness in each set of eyes. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” Sam squeezes me. “I already told you, if you’re mine, then you’re theirs and they’re yours too. Let’s get to home room before we get detention.”
That first day of being at school together while actually being together, might have been the strangest but most exhilarating day of my life. Sam left my side only when our class schedules didn’t line up, but that was only two out of six classes.
I walked out of fourth period geography to find the whole band loitering near my classroom to walk me to lunch. Sam held my hand and the guys laughed and surrounded me like an ever vigilant, albeit laughing and unprofessional security detail. We arrived in the cafeteria and got our food, then the four guys and I walked to the far side of the room and we ate together. I felt like I’d stepped into some kind of twilight zone boy club. I’ve watched these guys for three years, and they never have girls sitting at their table. Today’s - almost - no different. My former table is still occupied by Sassy and Whitney and all the bitchy girls, and they continue to stare at the band’s table, but this time, I’m sitting on their side. It feels surreal.
***
Three days after our official relationship debut, Sam pulls out another surprise, though of course it shouldn’t have been a surprise at all. This is a small town and I already knew this about him, but still, I nearly choked on my tongue when I came face to face with his reveal.
“Do you have to work this afternoon?”
We exit the school hall and walk into the sunny afternoon and our clasped hands swing between us in the carefree way only teenagers can manage. “Yup. But I have an hour to get there. Walk with me?”
“Ah, no. No walking today.”
“Oh, right, okay.” I attempt to tug my fingers free from his. He’s been nothing but the perfect gentleman all week, but this still feels surreal. It’s like I’m waiting for the hammer to drop. Despite Sam’s constant presence and basically being up in my space for an hour every morning before the sun comes up, then from first bell of the day till the last, I still feel like I’m dreaming.
“Well, I better get going then--”
“Hey, no walking,” he explains, keeping my hand in his in a tight hold. “But I have your chariot waiting.”
I stop in place when I spot it. “Wait. No.”
“Come on, let me take you for a ride.” He looks at me with a wolfish grin, but then he laughs and continues to tug me toward his ugly, poo-brown motorcycle that looks like he might have picked up out of the trash. “I swear it’s safe. Don’t judge a book by its cover.”
“It looks like it might fall apart in a light breeze.” It looks like gum might be the only thing holding the bike together.
“I swear it’s safe. It’s just the aesthetics. The engine and body are perfect. Angelo has a gift, Sammy, an honest to god freaky ass gift. He can take any engine and make it work. He’s got magic fingers, cause his music is pretty awesome too.”
“Sam, I can’t.”
“You can’t because you’re scared of dying? Or because you’ll get in trouble with your folks?”
“Mostly the death thing. My parents know I walk from school to Dixie’s.” I had to fight for that too. Thank god my father loves his job more than he loves me. It means he doesn’t have time to drive me to and from school, and my mom doesn’t drive. At all. “I’m definitely scared of dying.”
Sam takes my other hand and pulls me around to face him. “Do you honestly think I’ll put you in danger? Ever? I spent years trying to get you to agree to a date. I won’t ever risk you.”
“But… helmets,” I flounder. “Safety.”
“I have a helmet for you.” He turns and drags me the last twenty feet to his ugly bike. He grabs a vibrant red helmet that looks to be almost brand new and top of the line, and he tucks my hair behind my ears. “This is yours today. I’ll risk it.”
“Sam--”
He grabs his backpack and feeds his arms into the straps so it sits on his front. “Keep your bag on your back. I’ll keep mine here. That leaves room for you.” He climbs onto the bike without giving me a single extra second to object or run for my life. He kicks the stand up, then slams his foot down. The bike roars to life, noisier than anything I’ve ever heard. “Get on, Sammy. Hold onto me. Trust me.”
Crap. Crap. Crap. I look around the parking lot half expecting to see my father storming toward me in a rage, but nothing. Not even any rubbernecking students. If I could think clearly, I’d remember that Sam Turner has been riding a motorcycle to school for years. “Wait!” I shout over the roar of the bike. “Are you legally allowed to have a passenger?”
He laughs at my loud words and his finger comes up over his lips to shush me. He takes my hand in his and he tugs me toward him. “No, I’m not. But I promise you’re safe with me.”
“Jesus. I don’t do impulsive stuff like this.”
He takes the helmet from my hands and plops it over my head. He ever so gently fastens the straps beneath my chin then kisses the front mouth section of the helmet. “Today’s a good day to start living your life, Sammy.”
I take one last scan of the parking lot, then throwing all caution to the wind, I let my smile cross my face. Sam’s mirrors mine, then I use his hand to balance and I throw my leg over the seat that’s way higher than expected. From afar, this bike looks small and almost pathetic. When sitting on it, I realize my mistake. It’s a giant meaty bike. I can feel the power between my legs and I’m both terrified and more excited than I’ve ever been in my life.
Sam takes my hands and threads them around his stomach under his bag straps. “Hold on, Ricci. I’m taking you for the first of a million rides. I promise you’ll enjoy this.”
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” Sam revs the bike under me and I stifle a squeal. “Oh my god. This’ll be okay. Oh my god.” I feel the rumbles of laughter roll through his chest, but then with a second roaring rev, he lifts his foot from the blacktop and we shoot forward. “Oh my god!”
We pull out onto the street quickly and move forward at a reasonably respectable speed. We cruise along a few residential streets in the complete opposite direction I need to go to get to Dixies, then Sam speeds up and we fly across the train tracks indicating the edge of town. I squeal loudly and clutch at his stomach, but I clutch with excitement instead of fear. My heart is jumping and spinning in my chest and it feels so damn good, I probably wouldn’t even mind if I died today. This is so much fun that it would be worth it.
Within minutes, Sam has us cruising along old dirt roads, essentially running a semi-circle around ‘his’ side of town and staying far away from mine.
“You having fun Ricci?”
I don’t answer with words. The bike is too loud anyway, instead I bravely move my hands from their death grip on his stomach and I squeeze his hips. I put an inch or two between our bodies and I smile at the exhilaration of my hair flying in the wind behind.
“I knew you’d love it,” he shouts over the wind. We slow down for another turn, then like a rollercoaster, he speeds up and we take off flying and spitting dirt and rocks behind us.
I bravely lean back further, and then letting go of all sanity completely, I take my hands from his hips and lift them in the air. I scream with exhilaration as Sam speeds up a little more and my hair whips in a million different directions.
I love being on his bike. I’ve never felt so free in all my life.
He keeps us moving steadily forward for a long minute, allowing me the freedom to keep my arms skyward. My smile hurts my face, my eyes water from the wind, my hair whips my skin almost painfully; but I’ve never been so happy in my life.
I grab on tight and press my chest to his back a minute later, then we just cruise around at high speed on well-worn dirt roads for a little while longer. Thirty or so minutes later, my entire body has melted into his and my head is resting against his shoulder blades. I’m so relaxed with the silence of the world beside the white noise of the bike’s engine, I could actually fall asleep. I’d fall asleep with my arms around Sam’s body any day. I trust him completely.
Eventually, we have to head back to town, but before we enter the town’s limits again, we stop on the side of a narrow tarred road. Sam cuts the engine, then sitting up straight, his fingers stroke mine at his stomach. “Did you like that?”
I pull his heavy helmet from my head and rest it on my knee. My smile can’t be dimmed. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt as happy as I am right now. “Can we do that again soon? On the weekend maybe?”
His face turns as far toward me as he can manage while still sitting front on. His beautiful blue eyes meet mine, and I barely stop myself from fingering the curls that catch in his lashes. “We can do this every day for the rest of our lives, Ricci. Every single day.” He puckers his lips in invitation, so I lean forward and let him kiss me sweetly. “You have my number. You just text me any time and I’ll be there. Any time. No matter what.”
“Thank you.” I brazenly kiss his shoulder. I’ve kissed his lips before, and he’s kissed about every inch of my entire face and neck and shoulders, but I feel like kissing him so causally in a non-usual spot feels different. Intimate. We’ve gone from nothing at all, to this, in such a short amount of time. I’m terrified. I’m thrilled. My emotionally charged teenage brain and heart says I’m in love.
I was so worried of my willpower faltering when it came time to escape this town next year. I told him this was a bad idea, but one single week with the sweetest and kindest and most gentle man in the whole world, and my creative and emotional teenage heart is already screwing me over.
“Come on, Ricci. It’s nearly four. Time for work.”
“I’d rather stay here with you.”
He smiles so sweetly and turns on the bike until his bag is almost touching me. His hands come up to cup my face and his lips press down over mine. “We’ll come back, I swear.”
“Okay.”
“I still love you. You think I’m being silly, but I’m not. I mean it with my whole heart.”
I don’t say it back. I can’t say it without meaning it, and I can’t mean it without giving up my dreams of escape and working with children. I feel it, but I refuse to admit it today.
In less than one week of being with him, I’m already being forced to choose between him and the plans I’ve been making for years. I knew this was a bad idea, yet it feels so good.
Dammit.
“Come on, Sammy. Put your helmet back on. I have to go practice with the guys. They’re already calling me a slacker.”
“Thank you for this. It’s been so much fun.”
“You’re welcome. Anytime you wanna ride, just call me.”
“I will. I promise.”