– Scotch –
Stick To The Plan
Packing my bags silently in the dark while Marc sits on his bed and watches me, I stuff as much as I can into the hiking bag my dad bought me years ago – a bag that I never ended up using for its intended use. The billion expandable pockets come in handy now as I pack everything I can think I might need for the next week or so, and by that point, we can think about the extras, and the guys will make sure I get them.
Sammy insisted she go home last night; she needed to pack a few things, and she needed to make sure her parents didn’t call the cops – not my dad – about her disappearing act earlier that day.
With a promise to meet at the lake this morning, Angelo drove us to her house and I kissed her farewell at her gates. We watched her weakly move up the circular drive and move onto the porch before we drove away.
“Where are you guys gonna go?”
“Dunno,” I answer Marc’s whispered words. “Sammy’s already gotten acceptance letters to a few different schools, so I guess we’ll decide which one she wants.”
“How will she pay for school?”
“She applied for student loans and stuff.”
“What about you?”
I continue to pack, shoving as much as I can into the expanding bag. “I have cash. We’ll be okay.”
“No, what are you gonna do? You have acceptance letters too. What are you gonna do about school?”
“Well, I have to get a full-time job. I have a family to support now.”
“So you’ll just flush away your 4.0 GPA? You act dumb, dude, but I know the truth.”
I stop and look up into his dark eyes. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Marc. Moving costs money. Rent costs money. Babies cost money. No one’s coming to save us, and no one else is gonna pay for those things on my behalf--”
“Jesus. It was all a fairytale yesterday, huh? A new wife. A teeny-tiny baby in her belly. Teenagers or not, it was all happening for you. And now reality hits. Bills, school, running away. I dunno about this--”
“I don’t have a choice!”
“You do!” he shoots back. “She’s eighteen. They can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t wanna do. Stay here, let your mom and dad help. Let your brothers help. You’ll break the girls’ hearts if you disappear. Stay here, and you can still get your smarty pants degree. You don’t have to leave us.”
“Her folks will never allow--”
“Whether you’re here, or an hour, or twenty hours away, they have no power over her!” Marc stands up from his bed quickly, snatching my bag away from my hurried hands. “Just take a damn second to think this through. You found out less than a day ago that she was pregnant. You shouldn’t be making big decisions so soon.”
“We didn’t make these decisions yesterday, Marc.” I snatch my bag back and keep packing. “We made them ages ago. The only difference now is there’s a baby on the way. Nothing was decided in the heat of the moment.”
“And yet you’re sneaking out under the cover of darkness? Stuff was decided in the heat of the moment! The fact you’re continuing your plans after the huge bombshell yesterday is the heat of the moment. Plans change, so we adapt. We don’t just forge forward because we’re proud.”
My glaring eyes snap to his. “This isn’t me being proud. This is me taking care of business. This is me taking care of my wife and baby. And don’t talk to me about proud. We still don’t know who hit you the other week. Why won’t you tell us, huh? Now who’s hiding shit?”
Marc rolls his eyes and steps back. “Whatever. The two are in completely different fucking universes. Now you’re just reaching.” He turns back to me with eyes of sadness instead of anger. “I don’t wanna fight. I just don’t wanna lose you. I don’t wanna lose either of you. Reconsider and stay? We’ll take care of you guys, we won’t let her folks anywhere near her.”
I step toward him, dropping my now full bag on my bed, and take him in my arms, squeezing him in a hug so tight, we both laugh to let off some steam. “I promise we won’t go far. You’re my brother, and I’m not just throwing that away. We’ll be around, and if the baby is a he, we’ll give him your name as a middle name or something.”
He laughs quietly. “Luc will be pissed.”
“Nah, my kid is strong enough for four middle names.”
“And if it’s a girl?”
“Then it doesn’t matter, ‘cause I’m locking her in a tower and she won’t speak to anyone anyway.”
Marc chuckles softly as his eyes drop to the floor. “Jesus, I’m devastated you’re ditching. I wanna see this shitfest first hand. You think you got problems looking after Britt and Kari… Your world is about to fucking explode.”
I laugh and squeeze his shoulder a final time. “You already got your baby girl, Marc. You’ve played daddy to Kari for long enough. I’ll be calling you for advice, I promise.”
“Good luck with that shit. Kari’s an angel, and I still feel like an old man with worry.”
“She’ll be alright. We’ll take care of business.”
“We always do,” he mutters. He turns around to search in the dark, then pulls on jeans and turns back.
I frown. “What are you doing?”
“I’m coming down with you. I wanna hug the baby mama. I kinda like her too, you ass. It’s not all about you.”
“Marc--”
“You know Ang and Luc will be there, too. You’re smarter than that. Don’t be that guy.”
He’s right, and I even had my heart set on them being there. It’ll prolong the goodbyes, but I’ll be glad to have my brothers with me.
Half an hour later, Marc and I slowly ride onto the dirt road surrounding the lake, and I pull up beside Ang’s car while he sits on the hood spinning his keys on the tip of his finger.
Luc yawns obnoxiously. “‘Bout time, asshole.”
I look around the lake as my heart beats with exhilaration. Tonight, I get to sleep in the same bed as my wife. This is the first day of the rest of our lives, and I can’t wait to get started.
I step up to Luc, because that’s what’s expected of me, and I hit him in the shoulder. “Shut up, ass.”
“I’d argue I wanna be asleep right now, you know, beauty rest and all that shit. But your face looks like a Mac truck ran you down, then backed up and did it again. Seems to me I’m pretty enough.”
“That was me,” Angelo announces proudly. “Wanted to give him a proper send away.”
“You’re both assholes.”
Angelo stands from his relaxed lean against the car, and when he steps toward me, I actually have to consciously not flinch. My face hurts like a bitch, and I might cry if he hits me again.
He holds his hand out to me to shake, and though I frown at his formality, I extend my hand too. “I love you, Ang--” My hand doesn’t stop on another soft palm, but the sharp point of keys. “What--”
“You can’t take your pregnant bride off on an adventure on a bike, bud.”
“I can’t take your car.”
“Sure you can. It cost me less than three-hundred bucks to buy. The rest was time spent, and now that I’ve fixed her up, it’s time for a new one.”
“Ang--”
“Consider it a wedding gift, I suppose. And a baby shower gift. And a ‘I’m a dumbass and forgot to use a condom’ gift. You’re lucky Sammy’s cute, ‘cause that baby’s gonna need her help.”
“Why are you people always so mean to me?”
He laughs. “Because you tried to sneak out on us, asshole. We’ll never forgive you for that shit.”
They’re assholes, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. “You guys will come see us, right? I haven’t missed a single day with you lot since we were kids. I already fucking miss you.”
“Yeah,” Luc grumbles. “We’ll come see you. We’ll be living on your couch exactly two years from now. I guarantee it. We’re just ‘the others’ in Sam Turner’s band. We need you.”
“We still need to name the damn band! We’ve become a joke now.”
Marc shrugs his shoulders the same way he always does when this comes up. “Who cares! You’ve got bigger problems now. You can’t leave your baby nameless for too long. Pretty sure the state frowns on that. And you can’t call it gin and tonic, so don’t get any dumbass ideas.”
“Where’s our baby mama, anyway?” Luc asks. He looks around the still dark area, and I follow his gaze. The sun is still hidden, the shadows are deep, but the moonlight shines on the same lake I’ve watched her swim for years. Empty.
I look at my watch and frown. “Dunno. She should be here any minute. We come down here every day. Same time, same place, so she shouldn’t be far away.”
“Maybe she dumped your ugly ass.” Luc punches me in the shoulder, pushing me back so hard I stumble as my heart clenches. Luc must notice my expression, because his laughter cuts off instantly. “Dude, I was kidding. She’s as pathetic about you as you are about her. I can feel the cooties in the air every time you’re in the same room.”
I shouldn’t doubt his words. I shouldn’t doubt what Sammy and I have, but as the morning dragged on and the sun climbed over the horizon, my stomach dropped out of my asshole and anxiety took up residence in my gut. As the guys’ postures got lazier, but their eyes turned sharper, we stood in the morning heat and we waited…
And waited.
And waited.
Sammy was supposed to be here at five a.m. By six, I wanted to be sick. By eight, I insisted on sticking around another couple hours, ‘just in case.’ But by nine, I was back to sick. I called her phone no less than two hundred times in that four-hour block of time.
I didn’t stop calling because I wanted to, but because my battery sat perilously at three percent, and I didn’t dare lose all charge and risk her not being able to call me.
“So, she was sick yesterday,” Angelo reasons. He drops his hand on my shoulder before I run to her. “I bet she’s still sick. Let’s go find her. Fuck what her parents say if you knock on their door. They already know you’re married, and they know she’s knocked up. There’s nothing your visit could hurt. It’s already all done, and we already know they don’t like you.”
He takes my bag from the hood of his car, throws it over the front seat and into the back. “Climb in, leave the bike. We’ll come back for it.”
I nod shakily, and stand back as Luc and Marc climb into the back. Three dirty and scratched motorcycles stand as a monument in the mid-morning sun as we drive away, and I clasp my hands together as dread ties my gut into tight knots that choke me up so bad tears almost form in my eyes.
I didn’t freak like this yesterday when she didn’t turn up at school. I was curious, but I didn’t freak. I didn’t even freak when Ang called me and said she was crying.
So why am I freaking today? What changed?
I have more to lose now. True.
But she was already my entire universe.
Ang drives straight toward the Ricardo’s fancy estate and up to the gates, and pressing his hand down on the buzzer, we wait while Marc sits in the back and grumbles. “I fucking hate these people. You managed to find the one single decent Ricardo of the lot.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Fucking asshole sent everything back to the kitchen on Monday night. There was nothin’ wrong with his meal, but he still complained about every single dish – after his fat ass ate three-quarters of it. He got out of the whole night with a free meal for his whole family, and you know his ass didn’t leave a tip.”
“Go away, boys.” Our heads snap up at the deep voice rumbling through the crackling speaker box.
“Mr. Ricardo.” Angelo clears his throat. “Could we please just come in? We’re worried about Sammy.”
“Samantha is fine. She’s right in front of me, healthy as a horse. Now leave my property.”
“Prove it!” I shout across Angelo. “Ricci, tell me you’re okay, baby.”
“Mr. Turner!” he snaps. “I won’t ask again. And I won’t prove a thing, but I will have the police escort you away. You have two seconds to reverse your junk off my property.”
“No! Make her speak now. She’ll tell me herself, or I’ll be coming in there.”
“Scotch,” Marc’s hand comes down on my shoulder, forcing me to realize I’ve about climbed out Angelo’s window. “Cool it.”
“Geraldine,” Fred Ricardo calls out. “Call the police. But call Jerry, not Turner.”
“Call whoever you want, asshole. But I won’t leave without seeing my wife is okay.”
He scoffs arrogantly, then hangs up, and my mouth hangs open. He just fucking hung up?
“Alright, we’ll go talk to your dad,” Angelo reasons. “We can call the cops too.”
A strange buzzing noise fills the car, then the large iron gates slowly begin to swing open. I climb out of the car before stopping to think, and Angelo speeds up to catch up to me as I race across the lawn and up the dozen or so stairs to the front door. Exhilaration fills me as the large double door opens, but then Frederick Ricardo in all his pompous asshole glory slides between the gap before I can race inside. He closes the door with a loud snick, then he turns back to me and manages to look down on me despite my one-foot height advantage.
“Where is she?”
“She’s inside resting.”
“Resting? So she’s still sick? I wanna see her.”
“Not sick. Recovering.”
“Recovering from what?” The guys race out of Ang’s car and storm up the stairs to stand on my flanks. Ricardo looks down on us all, sneering at us as his chest puffs up arrogantly.
“Recovering from her procedure. It’s time for you to leave. The police have already been alerted.”
I grab the lapels of his fancy coat as a red haze washes over my vision. “What. Fucking. Procedure?”
His hands come down to mine, attempting to pry them away and even digging his nails in like a pussy. When he can’t shake me loose, his reptilian eyes come back to mine, and the blackness in his twinkle evilly. “We took care of the problem. The rest will be dealt with on Monday when I have a judge sign off on an annulment.”
I slam him against the stone wall of his mansion as my teeth snap. I resemble a wild dog frothing at the mouth as my hackles flare. “You don’t get to take care of anything. She’s my wife. This has nothing to do with you.”
His brow lifts arrogantly, uncaring that I’ve pinned him, or that my brothers are attempting to pull me back. “She doesn’t want you anymore, boy. She asked her mother and me for help last night. It’s already done. The head surgeon of the specialist division came at my personal summons, and he saw to her right away. Your parasite child has been removed from my daughter’s body. Next week, your names will be legally separated, then she can go about her life like you never existed.”
“You’re lying!”
“Believe what you want, kid. But it’s done. You’ve already broken the law. You’re on my property without my permission, and you’ve physically assaulted me. I’ll be adding that to the existing list of charges, and you won’t be a problem for Samantha anymore.”
My fist balls and flies without my permission, and within less than half a second, we’re a tangled mess of five men rolling on the tile porch as my fists and elbows hit anything that gets in the way.
The next eleven hours of my life blur; as the police lift me off of his rat face body, as my dad’s eyes express disappointment, then as he fires up when he hears what’s happened. I’m arrested and locked up for most of the rest of the day, then released again a few hours after dinnertime. My dad shouts about my rights until his voice is hoarse and cracked, and my mom cries as she sits on the floor outside my cell and holds my hand through the bars.
But everything that’s shouted around me is almost silent behind Frederick Ricardo’s words.
“She doesn’t want you anymore.”
“She asked her mother and me for help.”
“It’s done.”
“We took care of it.”
Even as I sat on the cold concrete floor and my ass turned to stony sleep, I didn’t believe him. I’m not stupid, and I know what Sammy and I have is real. There’s an explanation. There’s always an explanation, and if my dad has taught me nothing else, it’s that there’s always more than one version to a story. I haven’t heard the most important version yet, and until I do, I’m okay. We’ll be okay.
She made promises to me… Earlier this week. Last night.
Everything will be okay as soon as I speak with her.
Footsteps stomp down the hall, then my mom and I both stiffly look up as Dad looks down at us both. His face is worn and wrinkled when it normally isn’t. His blue eyes are in mourning, and his shoulders droop with fatigue. He unlocks the cell, and as though the fact he possesses the keys pains him, he quickly slides the lock open and pockets them. “Come on. Lets go home.”
“What’s happening?”
“Ricardo’s pressing charges, but for now, you’re free to leave.”
“Pressing charges? He has my wife!”
My mom sniffles at my words, and guilt lances through my gut at all the secrets I’ve kept from them the last week. I hold her hand in mine, and marvel at the fact I never noticed the day my hand became bigger than hers. It wasn’t, and now it is.
“He said he…” my voice cracks and my mom sobs. “He said he ‘took care of it.’ Did he say anything else about that, Dad? He said they got rid of my baby.”
Dad walks beside us as we emerge into the office space of the police station, and as his coworkers look at us in sympathy. He waits until we step outside before he turns back to me. “Yeah, he said the same thing to me.”
“She wouldn’t--”
“I dunno, Sam. I can’t prove one way or the other. I can’t access her medical files.”
“What do I do?”
“Maybe wait a few days? Wait for her to call you.”
“Dad!”
“You can’t step foot on his property. He’s had you charged with assault, Sam. That’s not a small deal. He’s a damn lawyer! He’s gonna push this as far as he can. You need to stay away.”
“I can’t stay away from her!”
“It’s time to flex some willpower. You need to wait for her to come to you. You can’t go to her. You believe she didn’t do what he said she did, so you have faith and you wait.”
“But she’s my wife. I have to have rights!”
“She’s on his property. That’s all there is to it. Wait until she steps out. Wait until she goes to Dixies, but you can’t go to her.”
We drive home in silence, as I breathe deeply and attempt to control the nausea in my gut. Ironic, since my poor sweet Sammy was fighting the same demons this time yesterday. The band all sit around my kitchen table speaking in hushed tones, and my oldest brother Alex and his best friend make everyone coffee in stony silence. The girls play around the kitchen, oblivious to the tension in the room, and though I appreciate the show of solidarity, I walk past the group until I reach the back counter and my phone charger.
I plug my now dead cell in, and will the little red power bar to charge and switch my phone on.
“Wanna talk about it?” Alex asks softly. “Seems to me we missed a lot of news this week.”
I drop my head into my hands. “I’m sorry, guys. I know I let you all down.”
“We would have liked an invitation to the wedding,” my mom whispers close beside me. “I might have tried to talk you out of it, but if it was going to happen, I would have liked to have been there.”
I sigh and take her under my left arm. “I’m sorry. It’s been a big week, and we weren’t really thinking about everyone else.”
“You can trust us with anything. You know that, right?”
I nod as tears well in my eyes. I’m fucking exhausted. I’m emotional. I’m grieving the fact Sammy and I should have been curled up naked in our own bed right now. “I know. This wasn’t about you guys. This was about exactly what happened this afternoon. She knew her folks wouldn’t allow us to happen. Yet somehow they still fucked it up.”
“You don’t think she--”
“No.” Angelo snaps and cuts Luc off. “No, she didn’t. Her daddy is full of shit. She was sick and miserable, and she was scared, but she didn’t do what he’s saying she did.”
I think I might die if she did.
My phone dings from behind me, so I spin and snatch it up, almost sobbing and falling into my mom in relief. Sammy’s name pops up, two, three, four times.
“It’s her.”
Sammy: I love you.
Sammy: I’m so sorry.
Sammy: The baby is gone.
Sammy: I’m so sorry, Sam.
My stomach lurches as I hit redial, and I wait for her to answer. Half of me expects her not to, the other half hopes with everything I am that she does. My family watch on silently. Even the girls stop squealing and doing cartwheels to listen.
“Hello?”
“Sammy? Jesus, Ricci. What the hell’s going on?”
“I’m so sorry,” she sobs. “I’m so sorry for everything.”
“What’s happening?”
“The baby is gone. I’m so sorry.”
“Where are you? I’m coming to see you.”
“No!” she calls out in a panic. My heart instantly drops through my shoes, and tears spring and spill over. “No, Sam. You can’t come.”
“I wanna see you. Right now, Ricci.”
She takes a long, deep breath, even as she softly cries. “I’m sorry, okay? Please forgive me.”
“Sammy, I’m coming now--”
“No. I’m gonna stay here, okay? I’m staying with my family. And you need to stay with yours. Be happy, okay? Please,” she sobs. “Please be happy.”
“No,” I cry out, as tears spill over my lips like I don’t ever remember them doing before. “Don’t do this. They’re poison, Ricci. You and me, we’re real. But they’re not. They’re poison, and they’ll kill you eventually. If you stay there, they’ll break you. We made plans, remember?”
“Be happy,” she repeats. “I love you so much.”
***
Exactly three days after Sammy shattered my world then hung up on me, I snuck out from under my family’s eagle-eyed supervision, and I raced across town to see her. I can’t not see her. She’s my soul mate. She’s all I can ever love. And her vague goodbye just isn’t good enough.
I slide my bike along the loose gravel until my front wheel slams against the wrought iron gate, then not expecting a warm welcome from them, I climb the iron and jump onto the gravel on the other side. I sprint along the driveway for a hundred yards until I skid onto the front porch and slam my fist on the solid wooden door.
I squint my eyes and attempt to peek through the tiny frosted diamonds of glass running along the side of the door, but when no one answers and no movement can be seen, I run along the house, stopping at the first window I can find.
I’ve never been in this house before, but I know there should be furniture in the living room. Perhaps even a grand piano or something equally pretentious.
Nothing.
I sprint to the next window. Nothing. Then the next. Nothing! It’s fucking empty.
I run the entire perimeter of her folk’s giant house, and it’s not until I come full circle that I find the glaring sign sitting right at the foot of the front stairs. I ran straight past it in my rush.
For Sale. Then a red and white sticker slapped over top. Sold!
To be continued in Without You