Chapter 7
Sutherland had been gone for three days and two nights. Eleanor had not slept well in that time. Each night she’d woken after only a few hours with a scream on her lips, her heart pounding, her body taut with terror. She’d curled up on the bed, desperately trying to push the horrible memories away.
The nightmares never took on a specific form but rather flashes of images.
Metal bars.
Heavy manacles.
Chains.
Unbearable thirst and hunger.
The whips…
She swung away from the window she’d been staring blindly out of and paced to the other side of the room.
Once a day she ventured from her suite of rooms, but she never went farther than the great hall.
She spent most of her day roaming the rooms assigned to her.
They were beautiful rooms, decorated elegantly and almost solely in different shades of blue.
She’d discovered a cupboard of exquisite gowns, almost all in blue.
But they were out of date and didn’t seem appropriate for the Scottish weather and weren’t her style at all.
Weary of her own company, she headed toward the great hall. Her stomach was growling. It never seemed to get enough food. That wasn’t surprising, considering she’d had barely any food for almost five months.
As she always did, she melted into the shadows of the great hall and simply observed.
Sutherland’s people were always laughing and jesting among themselves.
They went about their duties with a smile.
The hall was well kept, clean and dust-free, the tables scrubbed after every meal.
She was content simply to watch their comings and goings.
No one except Cecilia approached her, though many gave her quizzical looks.
“Good afternoon, my lady.”
Eleanor jumped. She put a hand to her suddenly pounding heart and looked at the woman with the red-blond hair and wide, inviting smile.
“I’m Hannah Sutherland. My husband is Lachlan Sutherland, the Sutherland’s second in command.”
Lachlan. He was the one who had seemed surprised to see Eleanor alive.
She was still worried about that, although not as much as she had been.
Sutherland had not indicated in any way that her days were numbered.
Surely he wouldn’t waste food and clean water on her if that were the case.
Would he? Doubts she thought she’d laid to rest rose again.
She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t trust these people, and yet she found that as time passed, she wavered in her convictions, lulled by a soft bed, warm food, and welcoming smiles.
“Are ye hungry?” Hannah asked. “It’s been a long time since ye broke yer fast.”
Eleanor studied the smiling woman, who seemed to take her appearance in the great hall in stride.
“I’ll bring ye some food and we can sit down together.”
Hannah hurried off, leaving Eleanor to herself, still in the shadows.
She returned soon enough with a heaping plate of food and placed it on the nearest table.
Eleanor’s stomach rumbled. She looked at Hannah, who was watching her.
The woman knew exactly what she was doing.
For a moment Eleanor was angry that Hannah was forcing her from where she felt safe.
But the lure of food drove her from the comfort of the shadows, and she took a tentative step away from the wall.
When no one shouted at her or even looked at her, she took another step until she was standing in front of the plate of food.
“Sit,” Hannah said with a smile as she patted the spot on the bench beside her. “It has to be lonely up there in the chambers all by yerself.”
Eleanor sat and reached for the fork. Hannah watched her eat, which made her self-conscious.
She forced herself to take small, dainty bites, like she’d been taught, instead of scooping the food into her mouth like she really wanted to do.
She was a bit embarrassed by her performance in the woods when Sutherland had given her the hare to eat.
She’d been so famished, so light-headed from lack of food, that something had overtaken her and she’d acted like an animal.
Nothing had ever tasted so good as that day-old hare.
“I know ye do no’ speak, but we’re all curious as to yer name,” Hannah said. “We’re no’ sure what to call ye.”
Eleanor smiled as she took another bite of food.
“We can guess,” Hannah said brightly. “We’ll start at the beginning and work our way through. Let’s see now.” She put her finger to her lips and studied Eleanor.
Eleanor bit back another smile. Despite everything, she was beginning to like Hannah. She’d already determined that even though Cecilia talked a little too much, she liked that girl as well. The Scottish were friendly, open people. Much better than the English, who had—
She stopped that thought before it could finish.
“Annie?” Hannah asked.
Eleanor shook her head.
“Alice?”
Good Lord, they would be there for years if Hannah kept on like this.
Eleanor had a thought. With her finger, she traced the letter “E” on the table. Hannah watched her finger closely, then looked up at Eleanor. “ ’Tis a good idea, but I canno’ read.”
Eleanor’s shoulders slumped. She hadn’t realized how badly she wanted her new friend to know her name. It could be dangerous, though, telling these people what her name was. Especially if she were being hunted by their enemy.
Hannah patted her hand. “Not to worry. The Sutherland knows how to read. They’ll be home soon. Any day now.” She looked longingly toward the great door, no doubt missing her Lachlan.
A servant girl called to Hannah, and with a quick “excuse me,” Hannah left Eleanor to her food.
For once her stomach was satisfied and she pushed her plate away.
Like Hannah had just done, she looked at the door longingly.
Not searching for Sutherland—although that was part of it, and something she wasn’t willing to think too hard on—but because it led outside.
To the sun.
Hesitantly she stood and looked around the great hall. For once it was completely empty. She could hear noises coming from what she supposed was the kitchen area, but other than that, she was alone.
She hurried to the front door on feet that barely hurt anymore.
Cecilia had brought her a salve that she rubbed into them every night.
It smelled horrible, but it had done much to heal her tender soles.
She still had not put on shoes, and was swathing her feet in strips of cloth, but she wasn’t hobbling like she used to.
She made it to the door and wrapped her fingers around the handle. No one stopped her. No one yelled at her. No one came running. She opened the door to a flood of sunlight and pulled in a deep breath. Scotland had the cleanest, crispest air she’d ever inhaled.
She stepped out of the castle for the first time since she and Sutherland had ridden in.
Here it was more crowded. People hurried about their business, whatever that might be. Some looked at her, but none stopped to tell her to get back inside.
She descended the steps and stood in the middle of the bailey, turning her head up to the sun. Oh, it felt so good. The last time she’d stood in the sun…
The memory came, sharp and painful, almost doubling her over. The last time she’d stood in the sun had been to watch her husband hanged.
Tears leaked from between her closed lids.
Not tears of sorrow—although there had been plenty of those—but tears of joy.
She’d always taken the sun for granted, had never really stopped to enjoy the warm rays on her cool skin.
She’d never turned her head up to the sun and closed her eyes to see the bright orange behind her lids.
A commotion from the main gate had her opening her eyes to find that Sutherland and his men had returned.
She didn’t want to acknowledge the flutter of excitement in her stomach at the sight of Sutherland sitting atop his large mount, the sun glinting off his dark blond hair.
He was so big that it was frightening and at the same time reassuring.
He’d told her numerous times that she was safe with him, and she believed him, knew it to be true.
It was a relief to know that those broad shoulders would shield her.
But she also knew that she could not let him protect her.
Protecting her would bring danger to his door.
However, where was she to go? She couldn’t return to Edinburgh, where she had been living before her imprisonment, and she couldn’t return to her family in England because her presence would bring danger to them as well.
A shadow fell over her, and she blinked up to see that Sutherland had dismounted and was standing before her. “Heavy thoughts?” he asked in that rolling brogue that made her want to shiver.
A cry came from behind her. She turned to find Hannah flying down the steps and into Lachlan’s arms. Lachlan picked up his wife easily and lifted her high before planting a kiss on her lips. Hannah wrapped her arms around her husband’s shoulders and kissed him back.
With a growl, Sutherland took Eleanor by the arm and directed her toward the door of the castle. “Find an empty bedchamber, for the love of God,” he shouted over his shoulder.
As soon as they entered the great hall, people swarmed around, talking to him all at once.
The crowd separated Eleanor from Sutherland and she drifted back to the shadows to observe.
Hannah and Lachlan entered, skirted the crowd, and hurried up the steps.
Sutherland sat and listened to everyone.
Some came to him with petty problems. Others came to welcome him home.
He accepted them all, even though Eleanor could tell he was exhausted.
She didn’t know where he had been or what he had been doing, and no one had offered to tell her, but whatever it was, he’d not slept.
Eventually the crowd dispersed and people returned to their duties. Sutherland stood wearily and stretched his arms above his head, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. He was so strong. So male. She was drawn to him and didn’t want to be drawn to him.
He opened his eyes and looked directly at her. For a long time they were frozen like that, each looking at the other, this strange sensation pulsating between them. An awareness that she’d never encountered with anyone else. Not even her husband. It disconcerted her.
“I’m fair to falling asleep on my feet, wee’un,” he said. His voice was so beautiful. So rich and deep and inviting. “Did ye do what I asked? Did ye practice yer speaking?”
She nodded.
“And?” He raised a dark blond brow.
She shook her head with a frown.
“Nothing, eh?” He shrugged those massive shoulders. “It will come, I dare say. And I’m sure I’ll rue the day ye do start to speak.” He smiled, and her heart melted in her chest at the beauty of it.
She pointed at him, then put her hands together as if in prayer and leaned her cheek against her hands.
His bright blue eyes twinkled. “Are ye telling me to go to sleep, lass?”
She nodded and grinned. The twinkle in his eyes faded. He looked at her so seriously that she stopped grinning and her stomach clenched in apprehension.
“What am I to do with ye?” he whispered.
She looked down at the ground. He couldn’t have known that those were her thoughts as well. It was frightening, having nowhere to go and no one to go to. She felt so alone in this world she knew nothing about.
She touched his arm and pointed up the stairs, then used her sign for sleep.
He chuckled. “Aye, I believe ye’re right in that, at least. I’m powerfully tired.” He looked at her again, the silence between them palpable. “Go back outside and enjoy the sunshine. Ye look like ye haven’t seen it in a long while.”
She watched him walk up the steps, then she turned back to the door and headed out into the sunshine, contemplating a future that looked very bleak, indeed.