Chapter 12 #2
“He is thoughtful, reliable and caring. He loves his brother’s children fiercely, and they love him just as fiercely.
He might seem easy going on first acquaintance, and he is more carefree than most but I would trust him with my own life.
When Steinar was arrested after we met, he stayed with me at the hut, making sure no one came to bother me, all without making me feel oppressed or weak. ”
This was the first Eahlswith had heard about that.
She knew Steinar had been arrested after being wrongly accused of killing his wife, but she had not known Sven had protected her friend during that time.
A pang of jealousy stabbed at her gut because she couldn’t think of anyone better suited to play the role of a protector and she dearly wanted him to play that role with her.
“And nothing happened between you during that time?”
“Of course not!”
Cwenthryth sounded, if not horrified, at least shocked that her friend could entertain the possibility.
But considering that she, herself, had ended up in Sven’s bed mere moments after having set eyes on him, it seemed all too possible that her friend should have been tempted by the Norseman sleeping under the same roof as her.
“I was already in love with Steinar then,” Cwenthryth specified. “Even though they look eerily similar, I wouldn’t have looked twice at him or anyone at that point.”
“I see.” Indeed, a woman already in love with the man who would become her husband would not have paid that kind of attention to anyone else, however attractive he might be.
“Anyway, as I was saying, he is a good man, but too handsome for his own good sometimes.”
“What do you mean?”
Cwenthryth couldn’t know about the incident with Freydis. So, was she saying that what had happened last night was a regular occurrence, that women tried anything to end up in his bed? She wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. Hadn’t she been one of those irresistibly attracted women?
“I mean that it is all people, and women in particular, can see. He attracts them like honey attracts flies but they don’t seem able to get past his appearance, see that he’s not just a wicked lover they could boast about having had.
They don’t see that he could also be a wonderful husband, loyal and reliable.
Or if they do, they are scared to be married to a man who will have to battle temptation every day.
I think this is why he has never had any relationships that lasted more than a few weeks.
” Cwenthryth sighed, as if genuinely concerned for him.
“Everyone in the village thinks he’s enjoying this dissolute life, for want of a better word, too much to ever want to settle.
I thought the same at first but now I know him better and I wonder if it’s that simple.
I believe that he is less opposed to family life than people think. ”
Eahlswith placed a kiss on the baby’s head to hide her expression and give herself time to think.
What should she make of her friend’s assessment?
Sven certainly seemed loyal and reliable to her.
Could it be that he was trapped by his appearance, unable to convince women he could be trusted not to succumb to the many solicitations he received?
Yes… Perhaps he was less opposed to starting a family than people thought.
At least he seemed determined to build something with her and despite her numerous hints that she was not ready herself, he was not giving up.
But she could not deny being confused.
She would have understood Sven’s insistence to fight for what they had if they had known one another for a while. But it was not the case.
They had come together in a wild explosion of lust. Neither had considered the other’s character before surrendering to the desire burning between them, only their appearance.
Every time he’d reached his release he’d made sure to withdraw and spill his seed anywhere but inside her.
All this didn’t point to a man ready to settle and have children, rather to one with too much experience and control to be caught unawares.
One who didn’t want to be forced to face his responsibilities after a night of passion.
Yes… Except that there had been that last time in her house.
In the middle of the night, once they had caught a few hours of well-earned rest, they had woken up at the same time.
After kissing her with exquisite tenderness, Sven had taken her in long, languid strokes that had melted her bones one by one and stripped away what had been left of her sanity.
And when he had finally followed her into unimaginable bliss, he had not withdrawn.
At the time she had been too spent and too lost to pleasure to fully register the importance of the fact, but he had definitely stayed inside her while pleasure overtook him.
And he had not panicked. On the contrary.
She’d heard him mumble something before falling back to sleep, his arms wrapped tightly around her.
She was now wondering if he had not promised to look after her should his lovemaking have consequences.
Dear God.
She had gone to Sven in the summer, thinking that she could allow herself this folly once in her life because a man who responded with such readiness to women’s advances—not that she had done anything to lure him in except stare at him—could never be a threat to her heart or want to be part of her life.
It seemed she couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Are you ready to go get Sanna?”
“Yes.” Eahlswith took Liv in her arms while her friend put herself to rights. The little girl had just drunk her fill and was half asleep again. It was utterly adorable. “Ready when you are.”
She could tell Cwenthryth missed her daughter, though it had been less than a day since she’d entrusted her into her grandparents’ care. How wonderful it must be to feel such unconditional love for another person. A person you’d created deep inside your own body.
“I will carry Liv if you don’t mind,” Eahlswith said, smiling as she placed her baby against her shoulder. “I love feeling her fall asleep against me.”
It was a new experience to her, and surprisingly soothing to one who had never been in close contact with a newborn before.
In fact, she reflected as the little girl’s weight settled in the crook of her neck, she felt very content in the village, more than she had in years.
Perhaps she should rethink her current situation.
She could not go back to her native village, but with Edwin gone she had no real reason to stay in town.
Well. All that could wait until a more opportune moment. For now they were going to see Sven’s parents and, though they had no idea what she and their youngest son had done together, she could not deny being nervous at the idea of meeting them.
Taking in a deep breath, Eahlswith followed Cwenthryth out of the door.
The day was glorious, the sky blue and cloudless, the air crisp and fresh. Yes. She was happy here, she realized, happier than she had felt since Edwin’s death.
They were reaching Wolf and Merewen’s hut when a woman approached them, a graceful woman that looked uncomfortably familiar. Freydis. Eahlswith’s heart sank, her new sense of peace quickly evaporating. This time it was clear the Norsewoman had come to speak to her, not a midwife.
A midwife.
As the word crossed her mind, a thought suddenly struck her. What if…?
Eahlswith tightened her hold on the little girl asleep in her arms. If Sven’s seed had taken root in her womb that second night in her bed, she would be even now—
No. She refused to think of the possibility. Refused to hope that their night of ill-advised passion would have consequences. Refused to—
“Excuse me. Can I have a word?”
Jolted out of her thoughts, Eahlswith came to an abrupt halt.
Freydis was standing by the well, looking at her expectantly.
Cwenthryth, having realized that this time, the woman didn’t mean to talk to her, reached out to her daughter.
Then she nodded and veered toward her parents-in-law’s hut without a word, leaving the two women alone.
Eahlswith waited.
“Forgive me, I just wanted to tell you…” Freydis swallowed and started, her speech halted.
“To tell you that Sven came to see me today and he explained everything. He was furious at me for going to find him in his bed but it wasn’t the first time I had done that, you see, and he had always quite liked the surprise…
I didn’t know that this time he would not…
I thought he would b-be available for—” By now she was stammering dreadfully and unable to finish a single sentence.
“I guess I’m trying to say I’m sorry. I had no idea he was involved with someone else. ”
Eahlswith didn’t know whether to be angry, horrified or simply incredulous. Sven had told the woman they were a couple? How dare he, when she had made her opinion clear and asked for more time?
“He told you the two of us were involved?”
“No. Not in so many words. But I saw how he reacted when you saw us and thought… what you thought.” Freydis shook her head.
“He was horrified because he feared you would never forgive him for betraying you. He would never have reacted that way if you meant nothing to him. I’m sure he already told you as much, but I swear nothing happened.
And I’m the only one responsible for the mishap.
I slipped into his hut, thinking I could just slip into his bed uninvited , even after all this time. Silly of me, I know.”
No, not so silly. Eahlswith had tried to do exactly the same.
“He did tell me you had taken him unawares,” she eventually said, though it was hard to talk past the ball lodged in her throat.
Another woman might have thought it a convenient story, but she had believed him.
She now congratulated herself for it because she had the proof that he’d been telling the truth.
But how could she have doubted him when there had been such sincerity in his voice, in his eyes?
“Well, anyway, I came here to say that I will not stand in your way.” As if to illustrate the point.
Freydis took a step back and shook her head again.
She seemed full of regret at her behavior.
“Take care of Sven. He’s a good man. I was a fool for leaving when he wanted me and go after a dream that only brought me disillusion because now he doesn’t want me anymore.
He wants you and I see what I have lost.”
Dumbfounded, Eahlswith watched the woman walk away. It was safe to say that this conversation had taken her completely by surprise. And the more she thought about it, the more she found herself feeling sorry for the Norsewoman. Her only crime had been to want a man any woman would want.
Eahlswith took in a deep inhale. Would she one day reflect back on this period of her life and think, like Freydis, that she had been a fool for leaving a man who wanted her, and this to chase something that only brought her disillusion?
She could only hope not.