Chapter 15
The merchandise on offer on the last stall in the row caught Sven’s eye. He’d wanted to buy a new purse for a while and the man had at least a dozen. Perhaps he should have a look while he was here.
He walked closer, congratulating himself for choosing market day for his visit to town. Not that he had come for that. He was here to see Eahlswith. But the two could be combined, could they not?
“What will it be today, my friend?” the seller enquired, when he saw him finger a dark leather bag that was decorated with, of all things, a wolf’s head. A sign?
“I’m looking for a purse. What do you have?”
“Here let me show you. I have just the thing for a man like you.”
Just then a woman appeared in the street to his left.
Eahlswith. She was doing her best to shield herself from the wind with the hood of her cloak and her walk was less gracious than usual, no doubt due to the mire of half-melted snow and mud at her feet, but he had watched her too often to be mistaken.
That hair, those curves… They could only belong to one woman.
It was her.
And she was just a few yards away. Luck was with him, because he’d been wondering if she would be at home. With no warning of his visit, there was no guarantee he would actually see her. But now he knew he would not leave town without having met with her.
“Wait a moment,” he told the Saxon, taking two steps to the side. The purse could wait, but she could not. “Alva,” he called out, gesturing in her direction.
At first she pretended she had not heard him. He called again. When she finally turned her head, the look in her eyes betrayed no recognition. Sven’s eyes narrowed. Pretending they had never met, was that how she hoped to avoid a conversation with him?
He took another step toward her but she shook her head.
“My name is not Alva,” she said, before turning her back to him and disappearing into a narrow alley, leaving him thunderstruck.
My name is not Alva.
Yes, she had told him many times she didn’t want him to use the name.
And she had told him she needed time. And she had fled his village twice without saying goodbye.
But never had her rejection been so brutal, so complete.
She had behaved as if he were a stranger, no less.
A week after her departure, she had obviously decided it was time to put what they had shared behind her.
This last blow was enough to stun him.
“So? Have you made your decision?” the Saxon behind his stall asked.
At first Sven had no idea what he meant. What decision? And how could he possibly know about him and Eahlswith? Then he understood the man was talking about the purse he wanted to purchase.
“Sorry,” he grumbled. “I’ll have to come back another day.” It was fair to say that right now, his mind was not on the wares on offer.
Body numb, he made his way to his horse which was tethered in the corner of the market square.
In the last two days, while he’d waited for the comb to be ready, he had imagined all kinds of reaction to the gift he’d chosen for Eahlswith.
What he had not thought for a moment was that she would pretend the two of them were strangers.
Damn the stubborn woman! Well, if that was what she wanted to do, she didn’t deserve another moment of his time.
This time, he would disappear and let her deal with the consequences of her refusal to accept what was staring at her in the face.
Vaulting on Gulltoppr’s back, Sven thundered out of the gate and started galloping back to the village. But as soon as he’d reached the forest, he came to an abrupt halt.
No. He would not be so easily defeated.
If this was to end, it would be ended on his own terms. He would not be ignored, not when he had done everything she’d asked—except stop using his special name for her, hardly a crime worth mentioning.
She’d asked for time, and he’d agreed. He’d given her a whole week, damn it.
It was not as if he’d gone to her to bed her either, to try and take advantage of the desire he knew he could provoke in her, he had only wanted to give her a present.
She thought she could walk past him in the street, but if he cornered her in her house, there would be no avoiding him.
Sven shook his head, disgusted with himself. Since when did he think of cornering women, or anyone for that matter? He really was turning into a different man because of her. Well, that man would not be deterred, and he would go get what he deserved.
An explanation.
He turned Gulltoppr around and headed back into town.
As he arrived back on the market square, he saw a familiar figure cross the street in front of him.
Osbert. Sven cursed his luck. The old man did not see very well but a strong Norseman atop a white stallion was hardly inconspicuous.
The Saxon’s attention might well be drawn to the unusual pair.
Indeed, Osbert turned his head toward him and frowned, as if trying to remember where he had seen him before.
Sven nudged his mount into a trot before the old man could stop him and start asking questions.
Not only were the two of them not supposed to be able to converse, but he didn’t want someone of Eahlswith’s acquaintance to know he’d visited her.
There were limits to the level of humiliation he was prepared to endure.
He turned a corner and a moment later he was in front of her door. She opened on the first knock, which surprised him. After their encounter at the market, he wouldn’t have put it past her to pretend she was not in.
“Sven. You’re in town.”
“I am,” he answered, not impressed by her feigned surprise. “We met at the market earlier, by the stall selling leather goods. Don’t you remember?”
A frown. “I’m sorry, I did go to the market this morning but I didn’t see you.”
The blatant lie caused him to clench his teeth. “I was right in front of you.” With those words he walked into the house, not giving her the opportunity to refuse him entry on some false pretext. “Perhaps I’m not big enough for you to see?”
She swallowed as she let her gaze roam over him. “You are big enough. But I swear I didn’t see you.”
“Apparently not. You didn’t hear me or speak to me either, I gather?”
Her brow furrowed. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Leave it,” he said, reaching for the door, to close it.
This was going nowhere. If she was going to pretend she had not seen him, then there was nothing he could do to force her to admit she had and insisting only made him feel like a fool seeking attention.
“Why did you come to town?” she asked, as if she agreed with him that this conversation was pointless.
Everything within Sven crumpled because with sudden clarity he realized that his efforts would be in vain.
Never had he worked so hard at convincing a woman to let him woo her.
In fact, he had never thought that wooing could require such determination.
Why was he even persisting? It was clear she didn’t want him.
Hadn’t she ignored him earlier today, hoping he would take the hint and leave?
“If you really have no idea why I came to a place where you’re the only person I care about, if you don’t understand why I cannot seem to stay away from you, why I allow you make a fool out of me time and time again, then you’re right.
I don’t know why I came.” He bunched his hands into fists. “Nor do I see why I should stay.”
Without another word, he turned and made for the door. This was it. He’d given it all his might and he had failed. Eahlswith didn’t want him. She would never accept what she felt for him. The reason why mattered not.
He had lost.
There was nothing to do but leave. And never come back.
A hand landed on his shoulder as he was ducking his head to pass under the low door frame.
“Sven. Please. Don’t go. I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me.” Eahlswith paused, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze. “This is very hard for me and…you know why.”
She sounded about to cry, more vulnerable and honest than he had ever heard her.
Though it gutted him, he didn’t turn around.
If he didn’t immediately comply, if he didn’t immediately assure her that he understood her dilemma, she might finally gather the courage to explain what was really going on in her mind.
He closed the door again, signaling he would listen, and waited. After a moment, she carried on.
“It’s Edwin. I can’t… No other man made me feel like he did until you.
I didn’t even think it was possible and I had made my peace with it.
But then…then you came along and everything was turned inside out.
I want to be with you, but I feel like I’m betraying him simply by wanting this and I cannot bear it. ”
At last, he turned to face her. She was not a small woman, but he still loomed over her and it did odd things to his insides. It made no sense because he towered over other women as well, and yet it had never provoked any special feeling in him.
“I know.” Yes… Didn’t he know it. “And I’m not asking you to forget the man you loved and wanted to marry. Only to give me—and yourself—a chance.”
They looked at one another, emotion swirling in the air. Eahlswith’s amazing eyes were brimming with tears. When one fell on her cheek, he was surprised to see that it was transparent. For a brief moment he’d had the impression it would be as dark as liquid ink, as black as a moonless night.
“Why did you come, Sven?” she asked, her voice completely different.
“Because I wanted to give you something.”
Her eyes lit up at that, an involuntary reaction that warmed the part of him he’d thought broken beyond repair only a moment ago. As painful as it was to her, she wanted to give him—and herself—that chance he was talking about. She just didn’t know how.
He would have to help her, starting with the gift.