Gant
“Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your flowing hair.”
I swat the curtains back to see Aria climbing the vines with the grace of a cat.
“Do you want the dorm master to hear you?” I watch her almost in awe as she slips over the railing and slides past me into the dorm.
“You mean Lexy, who”s on his way to see Ms El-Agha? No. I even tipped off Ms.Trix about it for good measure to keep her occupied. So, no, I’m not worried about any interruptions.”
I close the curtains behind her, shutting the massive diamond pane window that doubles as a door.
Aria scans the room. “How’d you get rid of étienne?”
“I didn’t. Rin did.”
Her expression is blank but I can see the light dimming from her eyes as she settles on Bae’s bed and not étienne’s. But I don’t have time for their bizarre step-saga right now.
“I’ve waited patiently.”
“So patiently,” she coos, drumming her fingers on Bae’s duvet. “You deserve a cookie for being such a good boy.”
“Tell me what the fuck you want, now,” I ask, barely able to hold on to my patience for a second longer.
“Hospitality is dead. Not even an offer of a beverage. I’m parched after all that climbing.”
“Aria.”
“Not even a how are you, Ari?”
“I know how you are, remember? You cried to me three months ago. And you’re still crying aren’t you?”
“How can I forget when you never allow me to…until now. Our latest trade makes everything fair and even.”
“Fine. What do you want?”
She pushes on her elbow, cradling her head in her palm. “That box of course.”
Time stops. All the night birds stop chirping. All the tree branches stop swaying. The only sound is my pounding heartbeat in my ears.
“What box?”
But we both know.
“You know, the one from that night you’re always reminding me about. The pink one.”
“It was in my room,” I say slowly. ”You were in the guest room.”
“You’re unfamiliar with how legs and doors work?”
“You crept into my room. What the hell were you doing in my room?”
“Have you heard about the midnight barber?”
“Aria.”
“What do you think? That I wanted to see you sleeping so I could rub one out? Please. I saw that package being delivered.”
“And you just invaded my privacy?”
She rolls her eyes. “Let’s not talk about boundaries, Gant. We both know you have none.”
“If you saw the box, why didn’t you just open it then?”
“I couldn’t break the seal, could I? You would know.”
“And you don’t know. You have no clue what it is. It could be ashes.”
“It could be,” Aria says, rolling onto her stomach. “But we both know you can’t bear the thought of them. It’s why your mother’s urn isn’t in the penthouse.”
“Still you’d barter for a mystery box?”
“What do I have to lose? I don’t care about the college scouts for ballet.”
“Then why do you want it? Just forfeit the role.”
“I want it because you want it. And if Gant Auclair wants something, it’s invaluable. Sort of like Elle right? Though I still haven’t figured out what it is about her that makes you so obsessed and so deranged.”
“Maybe you can ask étienne to explain.”
“Do you see étienne here?”
“No. Just me and you, again.”
“Give me the pink box, Gant.”
“No.”
I’d spent weeks plotting this and a mini fortune on Mistress. It’d taken weeks for her specialty French monk-imported wines and chocolates to come in. Then it took me another month to butter her up enough to bend to my play selection. Then there were the dozens of private lessons to get Elle up to par for this big moment, and for what? It would all be in vain if I gave Aria that damn box.
“I’ll give you anything else. Anything.”
She shakes her head. “I’m not your little Cinderella. Girlies like me already have everything. Materialistic wise anyway. I only want that box.”
“Well, you can’t have it.”
“Then I won’t drop out of the play,” she shrugs and I glare at her. “This isn’t about me. Or étienne. Or even Elle. It’s about you.”
That takes me aback.
“What are you talking about?”
“Elle dreams about you.
“Who can blame her?”
“That girl tells it all in her sleep. She cries for you. Cries for you to leave her alone. Moans for you to stay. She’s all over the place.”
“You said she’d been getting over her nightmares.”
“You’re a different kind of nightmare from her father. She barely has those anymore. They’re mainly about you. And yours are mainly about her now.”
“How would you know?”
“étienne tells me everything.”
“Does he now? Is there anything he doesn’t tell you? Oh wait...”
“It won’t work. Changing the subject.”
“You’re like a dog with a bone.”
“Relentless,” she agrees. “étienne says you sleep in the greenhouse way less often now and on nights when you do, Elle’s missing from the dorm. I think you too are like pain and therapy for each other all wrapped in one.”
I already knew that. I don’t want to hear it though.
“Don’t go soft on me now Aria. You’ve always been hard. Do what you do best and turn a blind eye to shit that doesn’t involve you. I don”t need you to play therapist.”
“I’ve always been soft for you, Gant. And you’ve been hard for Elle, too hard. But I would’ve thought you both would have relieved that by now with a hard fuck and a heart-to-heart.”
“Who says we haven’t?”
“If you had, you wouldn’t still be plotting. You’re like a fucking monkey.”
I arch a brow.
“You won’t let go of one branch until you’ve grabbed another.”
“Why would I? I’d fall.”
“But you don’t know where you’d land.”
“I don’t come to you for advice Aria. I come to you to scheme.”
“And I’m helping you scheme your way into love.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Am I?” she asks. “Isn’t that what you want from Elle? Isn’t that why you haven’t fucked her yet? You’re waiting for her to show you some sign of love that you so desperately crave?”
“You do realise I can just make you disappear for the play right?” I ask darkly. “You, a little pocket person, have come here, all alone and no one knows where you are. I doubt you told Stassi or Elle about our little meetings.”
“I didn’t,” she admits. “But there is someone who’d search high and low for me, including checking your innards if it came to it. You don’t know étienne like I do. The things he’d do to you would be unimaginable.”
I think of the petty prank of the spiders in my gym bag. That”s just a taste of étienne’s derangement as far as Aria is concerned, regardless of whatever he has going on with Rin.
“But you just said étienne isn’t here.”
“For now.”
“He always comes home?” I snort. “Is that it? Does that make you feel better?”
“I’m trying to help you feel better, Gant.”
“What if I don’t want to feel better?” I snap and at her softened expression, I grow harder. “Just forget about Elle. Or what? Don’t tell me you’re besties now?”
“No. But I’m your bestie.”
I snort.
“I said I was yours. Not that you were mine. Think about it. Who do you always call for these little bullshit favours and schemes? Forget about Elle. I’m talking about since we were in primary school. Admit it, I’m your favourite.”
“And yet I’m not yours?” I say sourly. “Is that why you came running barefoot to my penthouse that night?”
“Your penthouse is in the opposite tower of mine and étienne’s,” she points out then rolls her eyes. “If we’re talking strictly platonically then yes. I suppose in this instance étienne wouldn’t count. Neither will Elle once you get over yourself. That’s why I’m doing this, Gant. Not for Elle. For you.”
“For me?”
“Let me be your excuse. Your out.”
“I don’t need an out.”
“You do if you want to keep her for good. Just admit that this revenge is all about you getting the last laugh. All about taking your anger and pain out on someone who doesn’t deserve it. Someone who can’t undo the past because it’s already been written.”
I turn my back to her and she follows me, gazing up at me with those big blue-green eyes so identical to étienne’s it’s uncanny.
But there’s a difference in the emotions floating in them. Lately, étienne’s has been nothing but an impenetrable wall. Aria’s is so full of emotion they’re like damn portals into her soul and it makes me wonder why she cares so fucking much.
Friends.
Because we’re actual friends.
Still, there’s more.
“You wish you could be us,” I say lowly and Aria grows rigid, before swallowing. “You think it’s easy to just get over what happened to my mother?”
“I never said to just get over it. I said stop blaming the only person who’s turning you back into yourself. And I don’t wish I were you. I wish I had an easier boundary.”
“Than betrayal?”
“Try relation.”
I look to étienne’s bed then sink onto the edge of mine and Aria follows suit.
“Your situation isn’t impossible like mine. You’re only making it impossible by holding this grudge. You say you don’t want to feel better, but getting payback on Elle won’t make you feel better either so why do it? You still won’t win. You’ll have both lost and you’ll end up even more miserable than you are now.”
“You’re one to talk about misery lately.”
She sucks her teeth. “You know what? Do whatever the fuck you want, but do it without that box. Give it to me. Now. You’ll thank me later.”
What feels like hours tick by as we sit in silence, just staring at one another.
I hate the way she looks at me. With the uncanny ability to always see my soul.
That night when I held her in my arms, she’d held me too without knowing it. I can’t describe how much support her tiny frame gave me.
It’s different than my lust and obsession for Elle. It’s like…an embrace of love that’s pure, platonic. No expectations.
The closest reminder is the way my mother would hold me.
Slowly, I get up, walk to the armoire, and pull open the double doors. The pink box’s peeking out beneath a row of dark trousers. I barely grab it before Aria”s snatching it from my grasp. Pursing her lips, she rests it on my bed before opening it.
I can’t see into the box from this angle but I can see her expression.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt as moved by a look in my entire life.
Not even the intense ones from my father.
“This is…disappointing,” she says softly, replacing the lid and lifting the box into her arms. “Even for you.”
I say nothing.
“What’s even more disappointing though, is that you still want to punish the only girl you’ve ever loved for something that can’t be undone.”
“Who says I love Elle?”
“Why else would you be so desperate for her to love you? Isn’t her hatred enough?”
I say nothing.
“You made her your girlfriend Gant.”
I’ve never had a girlfriend but that doesn’t mean anything.
She can love me, but me?
Affection is different.
“You know she loves you.”
“And I love that for her.”
“Gant. Everything you’ve done, was it all really to keep her here?”
“Obviously.”
“Is that why you let her Mum win another scratcher?”
I say nothing.
“You knew she wouldn’t have paid that rent.”
“I did it to prove a point.”
“To who? Elle doesn’t know about it.”
“To myself. To justify why Jaime needs to burn just as much as Jarett. All she does is hurt Elle. Time and again.”
“And you don’t want your baby hurt because why?”
“Because only I can do it.”
“So that you won’t do it hard enough. So that you can make it all better later. Or are you going to tell me that isn’t one of the main reasons you called off your dogs?”
I think of the burn over Elle’s heart.
The way the thought of anyone touching her sent me insane.
Still, there’s obsession. Affection. Infatuation but love?
Love!
Love…
Love?