25. Cara
twenty-five
Cara
I t was dark when we pulled into the hotel after hours of being at the Adelaide Adrenaline stadium doing a fan meet-and-greet. Low clouds hung in the sky and rain pelted down, soaking us through as we made a run for it from the stadium to the bus. The umbrellas we’d been handed were useless against the deluge.
Lights reflected off the wet surface, brightening the halo around them. It only intensified the desire to close my eyes and block out the world. I hadn’t missed the way Alec powered down his phone after he’d read the message from his agent, and I was freaking out for him.
He hadn’t said a word about either his conversation with Minns or the message. Was he being traded? Was his contract being terminated? How bad were things going to be for him? I wanted to be there for him, but I had no idea how.
My neck was stiff and my jaw was tight by the time we’d ridden the lift up to my room. My fingers were itching for me to sit down and let the angst riding me pour onto the page. But I couldn’t. I needed to figure this out. I needed to be there for Alec—the clock was ticking down to hours now, not days. I was fast running out of time, and I needed to show him with what little we had left that I wasn’t running away.
There was so much that I wanted and needed, but I didn’t have a right to any of it. How did I ask him to share his burden with us when we wouldn’t be there to help him through it?
I needed sleep, too, but I didn’t want to close my eyes and miss a second of what we had left.
I scanned my keycard and pushed through into the suite. Dad had upgraded me in every one of the hotels we’d stayed at, guilt no doubt motivating him. I hadn’t spoken with him or Mum since that morning at Brisbane Airport. I missed them. But I’d be back on the Coast soon enough.
Monroe and Alec followed me in, and one of them closed the door gently. I dropped my coat over the back of the couch and stared out the window blurred by the rain slicking the surface
“So…,” I started but then hesitated. I didn’t know what I wanted to say. My words died, and an awkward silence was left in their wake. I turned to look at them and licked my lips, trying to wet my suddenly parched mouth.
“Do you mind if I take a shower?” Roe asked and pivoted away.
“Wait,” Alec said and dropped his bags to the floor. He walked over to the coffee table and sat on it, then patted the small sofa in front of him. “Can we talk?”
I shot my gaze to Monroe, who’d paused midstep. He turned slowly, and his pensive eyes met mine.
I swallowed.
Without a word, I went to Alec and sat down, hoping that Monroe would follow. I clasped my hands, interlacing my fingers and squeezing them until my knuckles turned white. Time stretched to infinity. The seconds that ticked by as Monroe made his decision slowed to centuries.
Alec clasped my hand, his warmth seeping into me, and air filled my lungs. I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding my breath.
Monroe sank onto the seat next to me, and I sagged in relief, leaning into him for a moment. He slid his hand onto my knee, and I sucked in a shuddery breath. This felt momentous. We could retreat into ourselves, or we could choose each other, even if it was only for a few more hours—and we’d done the latter.
Alec unlocked his phone and turned it around so we could read the screen.
“I got sent a new contract,” he said slowly, his words measured and quiet.
My breath caught, and my heart hammered in my chest. The lump in my throat made it impossible to swallow.
“The Seals offered me another three years. They didn’t trade me,” he whispered.
I blinked and looked up at him. A smile spread across my face without any conscious thought on my part. He was staying with the team. They’d stuck by him.
I squealed and threw myself forward, colliding with him as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “Jiminy Cricket, that’s incredible!”
He held me close, and I breathed him in, his now familiar scent a comfort. How could I be happy—no, ecstatic —and sad at the same time? My eyes burned, and I squeezed them closed, willing my tears not to fall. He was staying in San Diego. His coach and the team had stood by him. They’d picked him.
It was the best outcome we could have hoped for. But the weight of sadness that had descended on me was backbreaking. His success was another reminder that he had a life on the other side of the world, far away from us, and he was about to head home to live it.
The tears fell down my cheeks before I could stop them, and I clung to Alec harder. Sobs wracked my body, and he held me tighter, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I hated myself for turning what should be a happy moment for him into one where I was blubbering like a baby.
Monroe ran his fingers through my hair, but his touch was all too brief.
Barely a second later, Alec hugged me closer and stood up with me still in his arms, then walked us to the windows.
His voice was quiet when he said, “Hey,” to Monroe.
I pulled back and saw Monroe staring out the window, his expression in the reflection matching the stormy night outside. I dropped my feet and slid down Alec’s body until I was standing, but Alec didn’t let me leave the circle of his arms.
Monroe turned, and I saw my own agony reflected in his gaze. His face was pale, as white as a ghost’s. His eyes were turbulent pools of blue-grey, and his lips were turned down in a severe line. Alec lifted his free hand to Roe’s face and touched his silver beard.
Monroe’s eyes fell closed, and he leaned into Alec’s touch. With a firmer grip, he brushed his thumb over Monroe’s bottom lip.
It was as if that touch, that miniscule show of affection, was enough to demolish the dam. Monroe surged forward like water over the spillway and crash-tackled Alec. He drew Alec’s face down, cupping his cheeks, and pressed their lips together. Their kiss was desperate. Frantic. Need and fear and hope all collided together, and they poured it into the strokes of their tongues and the slide of their lips. Their teeth chinked together, and they melted into each other’s touch.
Alec’s hand tightened on my back, and he crushed me to him, not letting me go. When they finally separated to come up for air, it was as if they couldn’t bear to be apart. Monroe rested his forehead against Alec’s and nuzzled their noses together.
“Our first kiss,” Alec breathed, wonder infusing his voice.
“I thought I could keep you at a distance even when I knew I was falling,” Monroe confessed.
Alec’s smile turned sad. “Me too.”
My heart broke for them. For us.
Monroe carded his fingers into Alec’s hair and brushed a kiss over Alec’s lips before pulling away again. Then with his free hand, he tilted my chin up and kissed me. It was slow and sultry, a summer storm rumbling over lit cane fields. He swiped his tongue against mine, and I moaned, my inhale following it shuddery as my tears dried on my cheeks.
I never wanted to stop. I never wanted to pull away. This—them—they were it for me. I’d waited a while for my first kiss, my first loves, but I knew what I felt. I wanted them to be my last goodnight and my first good morning for as long as life would gift them to me.
I broke the kiss first, needing to watch Monroe and Alec solidify their bond too. I wanted to be right there alongside them as they shattered the remaining walls between them.
Alec pressed their lips together again, softly. Slowly.
Monroe trailed his hands down to the lapels of Alec’s jacket and curled his fingers around them. Then, like a switch had flipped, he increased his grip and hauled Alec closer.
Their kiss turned heated, their tongues tangling together in a slide that was worthy of porn. Monroe pushed Alec’s jacket off his shoulders. His movements were jerky, as if he needed Alec naked right that second.
Alec went lax in his hold, letting Monroe mould him into shape. I shifted behind Alec and undid his belt, then dropped it at our feet. I untucked his shirt as Monroe went for his tie, tugging it off and then tossing it aside. Buttons scattered across the room when he ripped open Alec’s shirt, tinging as they bounced off the timber furniture and onto the carpeted floor. Monroe groaned when he slid his hand over Alec’s pecs, splaying his hand wide over Alec’s warm skin.
Monroe palmed the spot where Alec’s heart beat under his ribcage, and my breath caught as Alec cried out softly.
I eased his shirt down off his shoulders, but had to wait until Alec dropped his arms to his sides. I freed his wrists from the cuffs and kissed a trail down his back, stopping to brush my lips over the bruises he’d gathered over the last few weeks.
I ran my hands over Alec’s abs, and my breath caught as Monroe pulled him closer, trapping my hand between their bodies. Alec shifted, sliding his hands up under Monroe’s polo shirt.
They didn’t break their kiss until Monroe had Alec’s pants undone and was shoving them down his legs. I shifted to the side and watched, enraptured, as he sank to his knees and dragged Alec’s clothes with him. Alec looked completely wrecked, utterly debauched. His hair was a mess. Monroe had tugged out the tie sometime while they’d been kissing, and it fell loosely around his face, haloing him. I ran my fingers through it, watching as the light from the only lit lamp glinted off the lighter strands.
Monroe hummed and I dropped my gaze to where he kneeled. Alec’s long body was strung tight, miles of abs and muscle drawing my eye down to his shaft. I wasn’t the only one staring. His erection was at Monroe’s eye level, and it flexed and thickened, hardening as if our gazes were a caress. Monroe flicked his gaze up and locked on Alec’s. They stared at each other, the heat between them growing until desire was so thick, it could be cut with a knife.
Monroe rubbed his cheek against Alec’s sac, brushing his lips over the soft skin there, and Alec’s eyelids fluttered closed. Alec moaned, and Monroe slid his hands down Alec’s thick thighs, over his knees, and around his calves before moving to his feet. He made short work of tugging off Alec’s shoes and socks, and his pants followed. But Monroe didn’t move, staying there and worshipping Alec’s package with soft kisses and nips, licking the spots he’d captured in his lips. The whole time, he moved his hands, caressing the lengths of Alec’s legs. I threaded my fingers through Monroe’s hair, encouraging him without words to keep going.
He did, mapping and memorizing every millimetre of Alec’s body.
Monroe nuzzled Alec’s sac again. He breathed in his musk. Then he licked a line up his seam to the leaking tip of his shaft. Alec held on to me, his shaking hand curled into my waist. His breath caught. He cried out softly.
I pulled him closer, drawing him to me. I kissed him with the same desperation he and Monroe had shared. I pressed myself against his hard body and ran my hand down his abs to his erection. Alec’s breath caught, and I closed my fist around him. I swallowed his cry when I jacked him slowly, and Monroe’s chin bumped against my fist as he sucked on his head. Monroe groaned when Alec’s erection flexed in my hand, and I shifted my weight, needing friction on my throbbing kitty.
As if they shared each other’s thoughts, they turned their attention to getting me undressed. Monroe slipped off my shoes and eased my leggings down my thighs while Alec popped the two snaps holding my cardigan closed. He fingered the buttery-soft lemon-yellow knit before slipping it off my shoulders. Then he unzipped my dress and flicked the shoulder straps down. It fluttered to the floor, the soft ruffle of the cotton leaving gooseflesh in its wake. I stood there in my mismatched panties and bra with my chest heaving and my kitty throbbing. I wanted them. I never wanted to let them go.
Alec flicked open my bra, and it fell forward, my breasts tumbling out of the stretched material. Monroe curled his fingers over the waistband of my panties and drew them slowly down my legs, leaning in to flick his tongue over the cleft between my legs. A shot of electricity zinged through me, and I gasped as he slid his tongue deeper, licking between my folds.
“On the bed,” Monroe whispered, his voice a rough rasp. “Lie down.”
We followed his instructions, and he hovered over Alec, feeding him his tongue. Alec sucked on it and moaned. Then he slid his hand down, brushing his fingers over my clit and circling my channel before pumping inside. I went rigid, my body instantly straining to get closer to him. I cried out when he pulled his fingers free and slid them straight into Monroe’s mouth so he could taste my essence. Monroe’s eyes rolled back in his head, and he ground his hips down, his cloth-covered shaft pressed into the valley between Alec’s and my legs.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” I breathed. “Need you naked, Monroe.”
He pulled back and kissed a line down Alec’s body, licking the precum beading at his tip before shifting to cover me. He kissed me, the same as he’d done Alec, feeding me his taste. I wrapped my leg around Monroe’s hips and rubbed myself along his leg, desperate for friction.
He hummed and slid down our bodies, kissing and nipping at my breasts as he went. He laved me with his tongue, parting my flesh and delving deep before pumping his fingers into me. He hit my G-spot, and I keened, my hips rocking up off the bed to chase the high.
Monroe shifted and flicked a cap open, and Alec moaned, spreading his legs wider in invitation. Alec slid his fingers against my clit, taking over from Monroe’s tongue. I cried out, a wave of heat washing over me as they worked my kitty. Monroe took Alec to the back of his throat in one deep pass and my guy choked out a groan, his fingers tightening on my clit.
It was like their moves had been choreographed. Monroe sucked Alec off and fingered the both of us. Knowing he was stretching us, getting us ready for him, was the hottest thing ever. My kitty clenched at the mere thought of the way they would work their hardened lengths inside me, consuming me with every thrust of their hips.
Alec carded his fingers through Monroe’s hair and thrust into his throat while he worked my clit with his other hand. We climbed together, but where they were bent on bringing me to the edge and tossing me over it, Monroe pulled back, giving Alec time to retreat from the precipice. Over and over, he worked us until Alec’s throat was hoarse from his shouts and moans and I was a sweaty, shaking mess. But it wasn’t enough. I needed to have them inside me.
I wanted everything.
“Get inside our girl,” Monroe ordered Alec breathlessly.
“Need you in me,” Alec breathed.
“Soon,” he promised.
Alec rolled on top of me, spreading his knees wide and rubbing his shaft against the juncture of my thighs. I was wet, soaked from orgasm after orgasm, and he used my essence to lube himself. Instinctively, I clenched tight, trying to keep him there when his mushroom head breached my kitty.
He groaned, and his hips stuttered. “Fuck, you’re tight,” he ground out.
“Mmm, so is someone else,” Monroe murmured from behind. I lifted my gaze and looked over Alec’s shoulder. Monroe had his hands on Alec’s butt and was spreading his cheeks. His eyes were closed, and he licked into him, rimming Alec and spearing his tongue through his ring of muscle. Alec hissed and arched back, his body begging for more.
“Roe,” he urged, and our silver fox relented. He dipped his face down, and I felt his hot breath on my kitty. Then he guided Alec’s shaft to my entrance. Alec’s legs shook as he inched forward slowly.
But I needed more.
I dug my heels into his butt and lifted my hips off the bed, impaling myself on him. Alec squeezed his eyes closed and clenched his jaw before he thrust hard, grinding his hips into me. I’d taken him to the hilt in one go, and Alec’s erection was pulsing inside me like he was already on the edge. I could feel every throb of his heartbeat and every drip of precum soaking my inside walls as he held himself back by the skin of his teeth.
Monroe rose up and unhooked my legs from around Alec. With one hand, he guided himself into Alec. His other held Alec’s hip steady. Alec cried out. His quiet huff of breath was filled with pent-up hunger. He needed this as much as I did.
Alec dropped more of his weight onto me, his hips pressing against mine until his pubic bone ground against my clit. I sucked in an uneven breath as Alec kissed a line down my throat, nipping the sensitive skin under my ear. He reached down, pushed my breast up, and flicked his tongue over my nipple. It sent an electric current through me, and my feet scrambled for purchase.
Monroe grasped my ankles, lifting me until I was practically bent in half. Then he rolled his hips, forcing Alec deeper inside me. I cried out, my mind turning into static from the motion of their hips.
He kept moving, dictating the way Alec moved inside me. Monroe pressed kisses to Alec’s temple and cheek, reverently trailing his lips over wherever he could touch. He made love to both of us simultaneously. Every long, slow thrust was followed by a deeper push, making sure both of us felt every inch of him.
When I came, I dragged Alec with me. Monroe tagging his prostate relentlessly left him powerless to resist. But the pulses tightening Alec’s body sucked Monroe with him, too, and both of them were spilling their cum within seconds of my orgasm beginning. Every hot splash of Alec’s seed inside me was a reward that my body revelled in receiving. I climbed higher, my orgasm going on and on as Monroe’s hips twitched and he ground deeper into Alec.
Monroe let go of my feet, and I didn’t have the strength to hold them up. My legs fell open, and Monroe drew himself and Alec to the side, falling gracelessly onto the mattress beside me. We were breathing hard, but I turned my face to gaze at Alec. I reached up and ran my fingers over his jaw. He leaned into my touch, then winced as Monroe pulled out and shifted, easing himself off the bed and padding into the bathroom. Alec kissed my palm and sighed. It was part satisfied and part sad. The water ran, and then Monroe joined us again, wiping us both down with warm wet cloths before climbing back in and curling himself around me. Alec pressed a kiss to my shoulder and nuzzled into me.
I lay awake, brushing my fingers through Alec’s hair as Monroe shuffled closer. We didn’t speak, but the silence said a thousand words. I knew they loved me and each other in their own way. We’d only been together for the shortest of time, a drop in the ocean, but what we had was real, even if temporary.
Our time together was over. This was goodbye for all three of us.
It had been incredible while it lasted.
Their breathing evened out, Monroe’s taking much longer than Alec’s.
I was between them but alone. Sadness seeped into my pores, travelling right through me into the very marrow of my bones. The sense of powerlessness was overwhelming…. No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t powerlessness. It was resignation. None of us had any control over what was happening here. I wanted to fight for Monroe. I would fight for him. But it wasn’t the time now. Now we were saying goodbye to Alec.
I rested my hand on Monroe’s and closed my eyes, my tears falling silently as I held my men close.
Sleep was a long time coming.