Chapter 1 #2
I’d just gotten off the phone with Shea, who said he was almost here.
I checked the time on the dash and was about to get out when the man with the pink hair walked past.
My heart thudded against my chest, and I squeezed the steering wheel. He ran a hand through his damp hair, his long strides eating up the pavement.
He was naked from the waist up and clutching my dripping-wet t-shirt in one hand.
Oh, shit. Had he found me? Had he seen me? Was he here for me or was it just a coincidence?
Wait, I was in the parking lot of an apartment complex. Did he live here? Oh, god, if he saw me he would think I was stalking him!
I slid down in my seat, trying to be less conspicuous, but he wasn’t even looking over here. He waved to someone across the parking lot, shouted something, then turned and pulled open the door to the complex, disappearing inside.
If he lived here, this was going to be a nightmare.
This never would’ve happened if we had been able to stick to the original plan.
But staying with Shea’s friend Riley was no longer an option, and now I had to stay with his other friend, Lea—which he’d told me very adamantly was pronounced like lee-uh and not lay or lee and to certainly never call him by his full name, Leander—instead.
“Riley’s house flooded, a goddamn pipe burst. You’ll have to stay with Lea for a bit. Sound good?”
Nothing sounded good right now, and it felt like I didn’t have any say in anything, but it was easier to just go along with his suggestions than try and figure things out for myself right now.
I banged my head against the headrest and squeezed my eyes shut.
Twelve years of separation from my brother had come to an end. I used to dream about being reunited with him, but that had begun to fade as I grew older and understood more of the world and my situation.
I was here, but the excitement I might’ve once had was nowhere to be found.
Two honks yanked me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see Shea pulling into the spot next to mine.
Oh, god.
I got out of my car as he parked, and I’d taken three steps when he ran around the hood of his friend’s Jeep and launched himself at me.
He wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground. “Hey, Beau bear.” He dropped me to my feet, setting his hands on my shoulders as he took a step back to look at me. “Glad you made it.” He shook his head, grinning broadly. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
I could hardly believe it, either. Today felt completely surreal.
Everything was changing, and I had no energy left to decide whether that was a good thing or not.
I wanted it to be good.
I stared back at the person I loved most in the world—and the only one who’d ever loved me.
Shea.
My big brother.
Once my only protector.
Until he’d left.
I shoved those thoughts aside and tried to smile at him.
“I’m so, so sorry I couldn’t make it to the airport,” he said softly, squeezing my shoulders. “I should’ve—”
I shook my head and placed one of my hands over his. “It’s fine. Really.”
He’d made it to the funeral and helped me deal with everything during my final week in Kansas. He’d done more than enough.
More than I’d expected, honestly.
Ever since he’d moved out of our house and all the way to the East Coast twelve years ago, we’d mostly spoken over the phone or video chat.
Mom’s funeral was the first time I’d seen him in person in five years.
Before that, the last time he’d visited was a few years after Mom’s diagnosis, when I was around twenty, but he’d refused to see her.
He only came for me, he’d said. To once again try to convince me to move away with him, to abandon her in some care facility.
When she’d finally succumbed to her early-onset dementia, he’d dropped everything to come out and help me. I would be eternally grateful for having him there because facing all of that alone would’ve been awful.
I shook myself out of those thoughts and looked around, remembering that he’d said he was coming with his friend, but I didn’t see anyone else.
“Where’s your friend?”
“Oh, Lea had some kind of event. I totally forgot about it and so did he, apparently, but he said he’d be here soon.”
I didn’t know much about my brother’s best friend Lea, but I knew Shea loved him like family.
Like a brother.
My chest felt too tight, and a burning sensation started in the pit of my stomach as one of the many resentments I tried to keep buried bobbed to the surface—an awful, acrid envy that this Lea person got to spend all the years I’d missed with Shea.
Logically, I was very aware that Lea hadn’t stolen Shea away from me, that Shea had left on his own—and for good reason. But there was a bitterness in my heart that didn’t care at all about logic. It happened, he’d done it, and he’d spent all this time with Lea.
It felt like he’d replaced me, in a way.
“What’s wrong?”
I looked up to find Shea watching me closely, concern etched into his features.
“Nothing, sorry. I’m just tired.”
He knew it was a lie, knew that I knew that he knew it was a lie, but he let it go and just nodded. “Yeah, I bet.” He popped the trunk and started unpacking my bags. “Let’s get you home, you can take a nap if you want. I know this is a lot.”
Home.
Would I really be able to call Blue Harbor home one day? I wasn’t even sure what having a home meant in the usual sense, in the way normal people that had healthy home lives meant it. Home was supposed to be a safe haven, a sanctuary, a place filled with love.
Shea had been the only home I’d ever had.
He shouldered two of my bags while I grabbed my hard shell suitcase that had all my computer equipment.
“Lea’s great, you’ll love him. He owns a bar with our other friend, Monroe, right down the street from here.
Maybe once we’ve got you all set up and you’ve rested, we can go down there and grab a drink with the guys?
” Shea’s green eyes cut to mine, and there was a hint of something uncertain in them.
I wondered if he was nervous like I was.
I didn’t know what he had to be nervous about. He wasn’t the one who’d just uprooted his whole life to go live with a stranger.
“Um, yeah, maybe,” I said, having no intention of going down to his friends’ bar and hanging out with them. All I wanted to do was get my computer set up, talk to my friends, and go to sleep.
“Cool,” he said, flashing me a smile. He seemed genuinely happy that I was here, that I would be spending more time with him, that I was going to be part of his life again.
And while I was happy about that too, it was hard to set aside those deeply ingrained feelings of abandonment.
Maybe my time here with him would help resolve them, to some degree.
His brows drew together as his gaze trailed down to my torso. “Where’d you get that shirt?”
Oh, crap.
I’d completely forgotten I was wearing it. Why hadn’t I changed as soon as I’d gotten back to the car?
My heart pounded as I glanced down at the soft fabric. “Oh—just the s-store,” I lied. No way could I tell Shea about what had happened earlier. If I wasn’t wearing the shirt, I’d probably think it had all been a dream.
“Hmm. Looks like something Lea would wear.” I had no idea what to say to that, and thankfully he didn’t press the matter further. “Come on, let’s head inside.”
“This way,” Shea called over his shoulder as he walked down the hall. He stopped at the last door on the right and set my bags down. He unlocked the door and shoved it open, holding it for me while I dragged my belongings inside, looking around the apartment.
Lea’s home was extremely cozy.
Straight ahead was a small living room with a cream-colored couch that had several colorful throw pillows and a blanket over the back.
There was a wide ornamental rug in front of the couch, a dark brown coffee table, and directly across from the couch was a TV mounted to the wall.
A small table sat in the corner, the same brown as the coffee table, with two chairs and a vase of flowers in the center.
The kitchen was immediately to the right through an arched doorway.
There was a little seashell decoration at the top of the arch, and down the side on the right was a silver octopus.
I stepped closer and realized it was a key holder with four tentacles curling down then up to act like little hooks. Cute.
To the left was a hallway, which was where I assumed the bathroom and bedrooms were. My assumption was confirmed when Shea said, “Your room’s at the end. Come on.”
Relief spread through me. I wouldn’t have to meet anyone right now, I could just lie down and take a nap. Be alone for a little while.
That relief was immediately obliterated when the first door on the right swung open.
“Sweet tiny Jesus, you scared me.”
I couldn’t see past my brother, but that voice sounded…familiar. Didn’t it?
Shea stopped short and muttered, “Oh my god, Lea. Are you serious?”
The sweet, silky voice said, “Can’t a girl change in peace? And why are you sneaking around like a ghost? I didn’t even know you were here!”
“Can you just go—”
I peered around Shea to put a face to the voice. There was a sudden roaring in my ears, and it grew louder as I took in the man I was going to be living with. My breath caught, my cheeks flooded with heat, and there was a burning sensation in my chest that flared across my shoulders as I stared.
And stared.
“Oh my, what a small, small world. You’re Beau?”
My heart jolted against my rib cage and began pounding.
Oh my god.
It was him.
It was the pink-haired man from the boardwalk. Whose shirt I was currently wearing.
And he was wearing nothing but a tiny scrap of silk and lace.
Panic bubbled in my chest, spreading until it felt like my veins had gone numb.
I didn’t know where to look. There was so much skin. And—and lace. And…silk.
He was wearing lingerie.
Lingerie.
On a man.
Oh my god.