Chapter 24
BEAU
StarShine:
Nooo I’m so sorry BoBo :(
WhyNotBoth?:
f*ck that guy. I’ll take your love, BoBo. C’mere.
Me:
lol. Thanks but I’ll pass.
WhyNotBoth?:
ouch
StarShine:
Wait so are you not sleeping in his room anymore now that his sister’s gone? Are you guys just going back to the way it was?
Me:
I don’t know…she left this morning and he’s still at work. We haven’t talked about it yet.
Jackpot:
Hmm. I say you camp out. Dig your heels in and make a statement. Let him know you’re not gonna give up so easily, that you’re here to stay. BE LIKE THE DRIED CUM ON THE SHEETS OF HIS HEART.
StarShine:
omfg ew Jackie!!
WhyNotBoth?:
wait Beau what’s wrong with me?? I could make you so happy, boo.
Me:
Brian. Seriously? You’re not into guys.
WhyNotBoth?:
what’s that got to do with anything?
StarShine:
*sigh* Brian chill out.
Jackpot:
I’ll take you up on your offer, Bri.
WhyNotBoth?:
sry, it was for BoBo only. Wait how much do you make a year?
Jackpot:
I’m still in school and work part time at a coffee shop. Sorry bub.
WhyNotBoth?:
I can wait. I’m a patient man.
Me:
what should I do?? Should I just…move my stuff back into the other room and move on? Should I move out? I really don’t want to…ugh, what if he asks me to??
StarShine:
that’s a hard one…but from what you’ve told us, it seems like he really likes you, babes.
WhyNotBoth?:
^ yeah. Maybe not as much as I love Jackie now, but not even Brangelina can compare to us. We’re a power couple. Wait, that reference is outdated…aren’t they divorced now?
Me:
I have no idea, I don’t follow celebrities. Ugh I’m going crazy just sitting around. I made him muffins, but now it feels a little weird. Am I being too clingy? Too desperate?
StarShine:
aww no one can turn down muffins!!
Jackpot:
I can. 100%. Gross.
StarShine:
that’s because you hate everything.
WhyNotBoth?:
he doesn’t hate me. Jackie luuurves me. We’re gonna get married. Hey where you wanna have the wedding, boo face?
Jackpot:
Bora Bora, but because you had to even ask, the wedding is off.
Me:
Oh no, he’s home. I love you all, wish me luck. I’m so anxious.
StarShine:
oh my precious baby, it’ll be okay!! We love you.
WhyNotBoth?:
love you BoBo, he’ll come to his senses. Jackie will too.
Jackpot:
you got this, Beau. Brian, you’re dead to me.
Ilogged out of the chat room, palms sweating and heart racing.
I’d heard the front door shut less than a minute ago, and now that Lea was home, my brain was on the fritz.
This entire day—no, the past two days—I hadn’t been able to think about anything but Lea.
For the first time in my life, I couldn’t concentrate on work and I’d made several mistakes.
Minor ones, but mistakes nonetheless. I was grateful that today was Saturday and I didn’t have to work, but yesterday had been a mess.
After I’d tried to confess my love to Lea—and after he’d swiftly put a stop to it—things between us had been a little tense.
I tried to act like nothing happened. I really tried.
But he could tell how crushed I was because he’d been softer and kinder than usual.
His typical playfulness made fewer appearances, and there was a somber air around him that hadn’t been there before.
Last night, when we’d all sat on the couch to watch a movie of Judy’s choosing since it was her final night here, I kept looking over at him.
Every time I glanced at him, he was staring into space with a frown.
I didn’t like that he was upset—that I was the one who’d upset him. I wished I’d never said anything at all. I should’ve just kept my feelings to myself, just been happy with what he was able to give me.
Because of all the emotional turmoil, I’d completely forgotten about the tutoring gig I’d agreed to do. But he hadn’t. When he mentioned it this morning, he’d seemed excited and still wanted to go with me, so…that had to mean something, right?
Ugh. This was all too much. I was going crazy with nothing but my anxious thoughts to keep me company.
“Hey,” a soft voice said behind me. I turned in my chair, and there was Lea, leaning against the door with his arms crossed. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a flamingo print and short blue shorts that showed off his long, lean legs.
He was so heart-achingly beautiful.
It didn’t escape me that he wasn’t greeting me the same way he had a couple days ago. The distance between us was very literal right now, and I had no idea what to do about it.
“Hey,” I said back.
His eyes flitted across my face, then traveled down the entire length of my body, as if he was checking to make sure I was exactly how he’d left me. When his gaze rose to mine again, I squeezed the arms of the chair.
Soft rays of sunlight streaked across his face and upper body, painting him in an ethereal glow that made him look even more like an angel. He was so lovely that it hurt my heart, but the pain was worth it.
“How was your day?” he asked.
I was about to give him some generic answer, to sweep all my sad emotions under the rug and play it off like none of this was a big deal, but Lea pushed off the door and walked toward me. My heart sped up as he approached, an exhilarating glimmer of hope sweeping through me.
“I—” That was all I could get out before he climbed on top of me, straddling me and running his fingers through my hair as he stared down at me with an intense expression.
I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of his need for physical touch.
He tilted my face up to his, and then his lips were on mine. They were hungry and sweet all at once; it was a tender devouring that had me clutching him against my shaking body as I tried to offer the same to him.
He pulled away with a final swipe of his tongue against my bottom lip and whispered, “I missed you.”
Oh my god. Oh, my heart couldn’t take this. It was trying to beat its way out of my chest as Lea’s eyes searched mine, trapping me in a sea of cobalt. I was so overcome with joy and relief and sorrow that every single word I wanted to say got stuck in my throat.
“Did you miss me, Beau?”
“Yes,” I said emphatically. I always missed him when he wasn’t right beside me. Or on top of me.
Whenever he was out of my sight, I counted down the milliseconds until I got to see him again.
His lips curled up in that smile I loved, but it was tinged with a sadness that gutted me.
He rubbed his nose against mine, then his cheek against my cheek, and then he buried his face in my neck and sighed.
I tipped my head against his and stroked up and down his back with a firm hand, feeling the dip and curve of his body and putting it to memory.
“Did you make muffins?” he mumbled into my skin.
“Oh…yeah, I did.”
“Did you make them for me?”
“Yes. I did.” Heat scorched across my cheeks.
Lea lifted his head and looked at me, an unreadable expression on his face. Then he trailed light fingers along my cheek, his eyes following them as he drew them down the slope of my nose to my mouth. “What kind of muffins did you make for me, Beau?”
“Banana.”
His lips twitched and then curved upward.
“Mm.” He swept his index finger along my bottom lip, a light touch that heated me from within.
When he slid it past my lips, flames sparked through my entire body.
My cock throbbed against the tight barrier of my jeans, but Lea just barely touched my tongue and then withdrew his finger, leaving me aching beneath him.
He swiftly replaced his finger with his tongue, pressing himself against me and drawing a moan from my chest. When he pulled back, I could barely breathe.
How could one person have such an enormous effect on me? I never knew love was as wonderfully debilitating as it was invigorating.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For making me muffins. For being so thoughtful all the time. Thank you, Beau.”
“I—you’re welcome,” I said, staring into his eyes. His lips parted as he took in a breath, hesitated, then closed his mouth again. What had he been about to say?
“Do you still want to do the tutoring?” he murmured.
“Yes,” I replied. I’d already spoken with the coordinator. It wouldn’t be fair to the kids if I backed out now. And besides, I’d have Lea there.
Lea wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed.
“Good. I’m excited for you.” He sat back and smiled softly at me.
“I think you’ll like it, but if you don’t, we don’t have to go back.
Okay?” His fingers brushed along the short, soft hair above my ear.
It was getting longer, I’d have to buzz it again soon.
“Yeah,” I said. His support meant the world to me. Him giving up his time to just be there with me meant so much more than I could ever express.
More than he wanted me to express.
And his smile? That gorgeous, cat-like curve of his lips? The elegant arch of his wicked brows?
They were all aspects of him that only amplified my doomed love.
“Then let’s do this, sugar.”
“And if you’re interested in game development, you would use JavaScript or C++,” I finished, blushing furiously in front of eight middle schoolers.
A boy in the front row raised his hand—I couldn’t believe how polite they’d all been so far—and I said, “Yes?”
“When will we get to try?”
“Oh, well the—Mrs. Walsh said our first session would just be a rundown of the basics, but next time we’ll go to the computer lab,” I told him, smiling.
“So that—” I pointed to the print-outs I’d given them.
“—will be your homework and we’ll go over it next time.
You also have the handbook with you to help while completing your homework. ”
A girl with a blue bow in her hair raised her hand. I think she said her name was Samantha…? It might take a few classes before I remembered all their names.
“Yes?”
“Can we use the internet too?”
“Yes, that’s totally fine. Are there any other questions before I let you go?”
Three hands shot up, and I suppressed a smile that wanted to take over my entire face.